I had a dream that I was on a business trip to L.A. (which I've been to, but I live in N.C.). There, I was checking into a hotel and asking the clerk what some interesting things to do were. He was telling me about the wild party places out there, which were interesting to me but I had to go to the bathroom so I asked him to hold his thought and went to the restroom (didn't pee in the bed luckily). When I returned to the desk, he and the other employees were laughing at me because I had left my wallet at the desk while I went to the can. They said maybe in NC you can leave your wallet around but in LA it's dumb thing to do. Trying to change the subject, I asked again where to go find some fun. He pulls out a prescription pad, which I assumed to be fake, and scribbled me a prescription. He says, "I'm going to give you this - it's a prescription for a drug you can get. People buy it and give it to babies to keep them from peeing in bed." Figuring that the guy was hooking me up with some cool drug, and not wanting to sound naive, I asked, "so you cook this up and inject it?" He says, "no... i was giving it to you so you wouldn't have to pee so much and thus won't leave your wallet around". It was the only dream I've ever had before that seemed like it came out of a bad sitcom... It was one of my more detailed dreams and one in which all the things I did were most as I would do them in real life.

I dreamed that I was driving to or from New York and I missed my exit on the highway and somehow ended up in a strange part of town. I had to park my car in an abandoned playhouse in the middle of a park. There were homeless people and scary vagrants teeming all over the park and on the streets. I went up to one woman in a uniform and asked her how to get back to Rt. 276 (the exit I missed), and she told me, and then she asked me where my car was. I told her in the park, and she became very upset. "You can't leave it there! You HAVE to go get it right now!" "Okay," I said slowly, looking at all the people on the street who would, I thought, certainly follow me through the park to my car. "No, you can't go by yourself! You'll get hurt. I would go with you, but I'm just a paramedic. Talk to those people over there," she said and pointed to two cops. "Okay," I said slowly again, thinking of what happened in Central Park this summer and how the cops had just stood there. But when I got up to them, I saw one was a very short woman, and I felt comfortable telling her why I wasn't about to get my car by myself. "I'll take you," she said, and grabbed my arm. Then things got weird. We flew around the streets, with her pulling me out of the path of the men who were approaching us, and we were moving unnaturally fast. We ended up out of the city, in this place where there was a path between a wheat field and a rock cliff. There was something magical or supernatural about this place. We came upon a dark-haired man in the middle of the path who reminded me of a highwayman or some other similarly rakish type of character. He grinned when he saw us flying past us, and I knew that he was a friend of the policewoman's. That's all I remember.

No! Don't leave us hanging like that. Go back to bed and finish it this instant!

There are many techniques for havning dreams and Lucid dreaming (the best) and Re-entering dreams, Continuing dreams, but i suppose they all work differently for different people. Personally, i lay in bed, very relaxed, untill im on the edge of goin to sleep, kind of in erm... u know ah yea, Limbo! anyway, when your kind of floating between sleep and reality, and you literally feel like you are very light and floaty, start to recall your dream and try to immagine it with all your consentration, slowly let your eye's close and produce the pictures on the back of your eyelids, use all your immotion, and block off your sences and let your mind do everything for u, feel and believe that you are there, and i find that i am there. Incicently, i find i have more dreams in the morning when i am half asleep half awake.. I guess this is when the mind takes in the sounds and smells and takes over, while the body refuses to do anything, so the mind try's to make sence of it all and give you awsome dreams, or if you are stressed, nighmares..

I tried to forget this url but here it is: http://www.sacred-texts.com/eso/chaos/skulfck.tx

http://www.sacred-texts.com/eso/chaos/skulfck.tx

uh, there's a ".txt" at the end of that url folks. http://www.sacred-texts.com/eso/chaos/skulfck.txt sounds like the person realized this technique while on acid or something

. . . , "but my own dream recollection is approximately 90% now, and I often remember several dreams from the same night. Also, my lucidity is at around 10% of total." me: How does he KNOW?

Dreams. ha, sometimes I wish life was a dream. So that I could wake up to something better than this and just laugh all the pain away. I've reached a dead end. I'm not the usual type of person that just gets on the internet to find someone who cares, but I feel like I've played my last card and there's no where else to turn. I actually teased my friend for finding her boyfriend online. I can't even believe that I'm doing this. But I lay awake every night and wonder...why? Why am I here and what am I doing? Is it even worth it anymore? It seems like I'm living my life for everyone else and there's nothing in it for me. So what's the point? I don't want to freak anybody out, it's not like I'm going to kill myself, I guess I'm just tired out and looking for some inspirational words. I'm 19 years old and getting ready to start my 2nd year in college, I know I'm young and I have my whole life ahead of me but I feel so lost, I really have felt lost all my life and I'm so sick of the pain. Kate Winslet said it best in Titanic..."I feel like I'm in a crowded room screaming at the top of my lungs and no one even turns to look at me." At least it was something like that. I just want to be happy and I don't know how to do that anymore, and I just had to know, is there anybody out there that even cares?

yes. welcome.

well...I guess not.

you guess not...what? i said "yes. welcome." what do you want, email? i wish you great fortune and good times. your words indicate that you are a sensitive and intelligent person. why are you disappointed?

It's slow here on the weekends. I know how you feel, really I do. I don't have any inspirational words though. I've been through all of that, and it gets better...sometimes just in spurts...sometimes for longer. Sometimes it hurts more before you get better.

being lost is the first step in not being an asshole...how's that? the rest is an illusion...let it go, it's fun.

perhaps 'lost' was sad about not getting the traditonal "fuck you, you ass" greeting? and as an added point, people who act all mopey in the middle of crowded rooms [the usual replacement for screaming] because they want attention are just annoying and consequently drive people away.

Why don't you look here or here or here.

jack, thank you. As for heather, you obviously didn't understand a word I said. And as for acting mopey in a crowded room...I don't. That is sometimes how I feel but I don't ever show it. Only my closest friend truly knows how I feel. I hide my feeling from the world because I don't want to annoy the people around me or drive them away. But your ignorance and bad attitude is what drives people away. I was just asking for words of encouragement and I wanted to see if anyone feels the same way as me.(thank you kazu) Maybe you should try resorting back to the old saying, if you don't have any thing nice to say then don't say anything at all. Jack, I guess I'm disappointed because I've felt like this all my life and I don't understand why it won't let up on me. I try to find the best in everything and everytime I do the world smacks me in the face again. I can tell you exactly what i'm talking about in an email if you want.

Lost, you sound a lot like me when I was a sophomore in college. I too had the "lonely in a crowd" syndrome. At times I enjoyed it, at others I didn't. It's still with me. Some suggestions for raising your mood: first thing, get the physical stuff out of the way. Get some sun, get some exercize, clean up your diet. You'd be amazed at how changing some physical things can change your mental and emotional state. "if you don't have any thing nice to say then don't say anything at all." Sometimes we need to hear things that are not nice. "I guess I'm disappointed because I've felt like this all my life and I don't understand why it won't let up on me. I try to find the best in everything and everytime I do the world smacks me in the face again." Learn to roll with it. Wanting to find the best in every situation is a good (and necessary) start. Now you have to learn how to find that "best" in the best way. If you feel that life is hitting you, it seems the best way is to dodge. :) Might seem trite, but I find it to be true. "Life" is a force of nature. It can destroy you as easily as it creates and supports you. Lost, you remind me of me. Don't leave. :)

Oh, yeah. Heather can be an acerbic bitch sometimes. Ignore her. She's probably on the rag.

I think sophmore year in college was the hardest, most depressing year. heather tells it like it is, which is why i like her so much. sometimes, it's the not-so-nice stuff that sticks.

She tells it like she sees it, which is not necessarily "like it is." "sometimes, it's the not-so-nice stuff that sticks" Yeah, you could call that "depression."

thanks to Antigone and kazu, I understand what your saying and I appreciate your advice. But I still think heather misinterpreted me and yes the not so nice things may be what we need to hear sometimes but it's a lot easier to take them from people you know love you. Considering how well I know you all (not very well so far) it's better to yes, tell it like it is but maybe find a better way to say it. I just feel it's the most mature and smart way to handle a situation. Again Antigone and kazu I do want to thank you for being there.

"Only my closest friend truly knows how I feel." This may seem like a terrible burden now, but consider how many people you understand completely. Probably just your best friend. This is normal. . "I hide my feeling from the world because I don't want to annoy the people around me or drive them away." Hiding your feelings is another way of pushing people away. . What has the world been hitting you with? . What are you studying? . Stick around.

i don't think i need to be anything else, particularly while the rest of you are supplying the sickly sweet forthwith. regarding the apparently upsetting bit: i was referring ONLY to the unfortunate titanic reference and i thought that would be very clear. "lost" brought it up if you don't recall. i tend to choose my words carefully, perhaps look at what i wrote and not what you think i meant. *specifically* i was referring to a girl that i sort of met this weekend. i was helping a friend move and we were mostly done and hanging out in the house. i went up the street to get something out of the car and on the way back noticed a girl that i had introduced myself to but didn't know, sitting up against a tree looking all weepy. i chatted with her for a bit and asked if she wanted to come sit around with us [there were really two groups of friends] and she had made some indication that she "tried that already [hanging out] but it didn't work." she came in with me and i introduced her to the people i knew and we sat and went back to chatting again. throughout this whole thing she pouted...and everytime she said something that wasn't reacted to, she was like "okay, if no one is listening to me..." and she made a big deal of it. like some 10 year old might do. her inability to get over herself created exactly the situation she didn't want. maybe you could start by not taking things so personally. if the person looking for advice knows the best way ["mature and smart"] to handle a situation, why come to strangers?

"i tend to choose my words carefully, perhaps look at what i wrote and not what you think i meant. *specifically* i was referring to a girl that i sort of met this weekend." So we should read what you write, but you were actually referring to something that happened to you this weekend that you didn't write about? Now THAT tops the record for the fastest self contradiction I've ever seen on sorabji. :)

tiresome. i am saying that i was *not* accusing "lost" of being mopey. it was just a general statement- not referring to anyone involved except perhaps the writers of the titanic. i did not "attack" anyone [unlike others here] nor have i actually contradicted myself. sheesh.

Yeah, I agree with you. It is tiresome getting people to express themselves clearly. I usually don't expect it of you because you seem awfully wrapped up in your own point of view, but I'm bored today.

whoa. okay heather, how can going to strangers who can maybe give me a different outlook on life (in a tactful way) not be smart or mature. I say it is a very mature and smart move to make.

okay, nice

antigone. you make me laugh :)

Actually, I got that you weren't accusing her of being mopy, Heather. People throw out such related observations all the time.

And so, The Cheat mashed play on a very expensive jukebox and everybody put their weight on it.

And so, The Cheat mashed play on a very expensive JAMBOX AND HIGH SPEED DUBBING and everybody put their weight on it

Amen.

i was going to let this go as i am wont to do...but antigone, where do you get off? "awfully wrapped up in your own point of view" seriously? what the fuck does that mean? you smug, arrogant, fuck. always taking a self-righteous air with everyone. fuck you. three-fuck rant. nice.

I sometimes think I should wake up to someone yelling "fuck you" at me. The day can only go up from there. Today it waited until midday when someone to an unliking to my car and that quite upset my balance.

there is some comfort in not having a balance to upset. i've taken to cursing outloud as i walk down the streets of san francisco. instantanously you are both acknowledged as a living entity and given your due space in the world. two things otherwise lacking. i was lost and found and instead of amazing grace i've found a mellow fog of apathy, a deep rooted inability to take anything too seriously, a palpable, blulrring distance between cause and effect. there are things we cannot understand, places where our tenuous grasp on the coattails of reality is so viciously threatened that we clamp our eyes shut and grip our tongues in our teeth to keep ourselves from screaming. i only cry now because there is no reason to.

"you smug, arrogant, fuck." heather, coming from another smug arrogant fuck I take that as a compliment. Ah, the gang's all here. How refreshingly coincidental. :) Cat, did you get my ping?

for the record, i've never thought heather to be smug, nor arrogant, just fucking insane. and the Cheat released the pause button and everyone continued to put their weight into it.

that was fun fucking insane? do tell

I think we're having a nice sorabji moment here.

simple heather. i have that glass vile you sent me some time ago that contains a cotton puff and a few random metal artifacts in it. i don't know what it means but it seems like the creation of the insane. im actually scared to throw it away, fearing some sort of unknown cosmic retribution. I dont understand it, but i respect it.

well, a long time ago i got from heather a very nice, antique stationery set, which i use all the time. i'm nearly out of envelopes.

see, thats why the insane are insane. they're like all sane one minute and then like completely fucking wacko the next. we love our nutty heather though so be cunt tiggy.

dont be cunt. nice

parakeet.

paracunt.

I've only hung out with Heather once, but it was enough to know that I think she's a friend and someone I would enjoy hangin out with on a regular basis. The same goes for antigone. so, kiss and make up, eh?

I think heather and I should hang out:)...

Blessed are the peacemakers,for they shall see God.

I love heather almost as much as the translucent ring she sent to cleo with a dead bug encased in it. i suppose that goes without saying, though.

I have not been pinged to my knowledge. But then that's the story of my life. Woe is me.

btw nate... there's a pill you can take for that. seriously brother.

okay, so ruling out the ice caps melting, a meteor coming and crashing into us, the ozone layer leaving and the sun exploding, we're going to definitely blow ourselves up. okay. www.ebaumsworld.com/endofworld.html very entertaining.