my 'have you kissed your locksmith lately?' t'shirt


sorabji.com: What are you wearing?: my 'have you kissed your locksmith lately?' t'shirt
THIS IS A READ-ONLY ARCHIVE FROM THE SORABJI.COM MESSAGE BOARDS (1995-2016).

By Spiracle on Sunday, November 22, 1998 - 11:33 pm:

    damnit..
    am i the only fuck head who locks
    themselves out of everything all
    the damn time?


By Sheila on Monday, November 23, 1998 - 12:07 pm:

    I have done it many times. So many that I am adept at breaking and entering. I would never call a locksmith because I haven't found anything I cannot get into if I really try.

    A couple of years ago the locksmith drove his truck off Highway 49 and fell a thousand feet down a ravine. All his stuff, the key blanks, the little tools, the lock sets, all that little miscellaneous Stuff, got scattered along the fall. Somewhere out there in the nothingness there are hundreds and hundreds of keys.

    He survived.

    Oh, and continually locking yourself out is fraught with significance, of course you knew that.


By Spiracle on Monday, November 23, 1998 - 06:13 pm:

    what significance?


By Sheila on Monday, November 23, 1998 - 08:03 pm:

    A burning subconscious desire to actually kiss your locksmith?

    Locks are symbolic. They can also be real. Inaccessibility. Closed off places and things. Do you lock yourself out of your house? Your car? Your places where things are kept? Do you have secrets you worry about escaping? Do you want to get somewhere you cannot? What is it you cannot get at because of the lock? What is is that might get out if not for the lock?

    What does the locksmith's butt look like?

    Spiracle, this is all Freudian gibberish. Some people believe that all these little behaviors are messages. If you are really concerned about it, it could be a message. Otherwise, make duplicate keys and place them in strategic spots. I'm just being silly.


By Spiracle on Monday, November 23, 1998 - 10:34 pm:

    sheila..
    he was old..i really tried not to look
    as his butt..


By Nelly on Monday, November 23, 1998 - 11:42 pm:

    For me, it's simple. If I'm stressed out, I lose things, like keys, and/or lock myself out of things. The more stressed out, the more convoluted the trouble i get into. Stressed: locking keys in car. Really stressed, locking keys in car with lights on and motor running, in pouring rain.

    The worst example that comes to mind, was when we were selling a house and had spent all day clearing out the junk and finally there were these 6 huge bags and piles of it by the curb. Suddenly discovered keys were not in pocket. Not in purse. Must have fallen out somewhere. Went through everything. Got down on hands and knees in the underbrush. Night fell. Had a spare car key, but the spare house key (to the other house where I lived) was not in its usual spot on the air conditioner under the plant. Because I had had to get a new air conditioner, and hadn't put it back yet, so it was in the house. We tried the jimmy with a credit card routine, but it was a good deadbolt. Finally around midnight we called the locksmith from a payphone down the street.

    So Freud that if you want. God, I had forgotten, makes me feel exhausted just thinking about it.

    The person that you can count on to stand by you in such a situation, annoyed and cranky but there, is a true friend. So much the better if that person is also someone whom you may have rescued in the past from similar exigencies.


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