| THIS IS A READ-ONLY ARCHIVE FROM THE SORABJI.COM MESSAGE BOARDS (1995-2016). |
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It is mostly maroon / burgundy, with gold flowers all over and a wide gold border around the skirt. The aircon is too cold in our office, so I had to wear a jersey as well - muted goldy beige, V-neck. I like wearing clothes that are not like anyone else's. |
Satisfaction Guaranteed. GEORGE FASHIONS 179/A Corner of Soi 13, near Miami Hotel, Sukhumvit Road, Bangkok, 1011, Thailand. Phone: 253-8375 Fax: (662) 253-8375 Please contact with : Mr. Mike, Mr. George or Mr. Alex. SUITS MADE READY IN 23* HOURS FERTIG IN 23 STUNDEN *I love the use of 23, not 24 hours. It's just that one hour better. |
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she scores without fail everytime she goes there...black market, gray market, knock offs, but doing the job she does, she knows how to inspect sewing and buys the quality items, that are still dirt cheap. |
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I still remember. I'm so proud. |
now that I have a boyfriend I dress in jeans and men's wool sweaters all the time. at least I still go to the gym. and I'm dressing up for the party saturday. after all, his wife will probably be there. |
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he's getting a divorce, but first they have to enter and resolve a legal battle about splitting the assets in this wonderful community property (you keep what you take into the marriage) state. she'd rather cry than discuss numbers, so I think it'll be best when they let the lawyers take over. we got in our first mini-argument the other day. is it ok for him to invite a female childhood friend over at 11:15 p.m. to get stoned and listen to records? um, I say no. he didn't know it would bother me. now he does. all's ok. see? bor-ing. |
I know you didn't really get a chance before I met you to have girls over late at night to get stoned and listen to records, but it bothers me that you're doing it now. I think it's great that you're meeting up with old friends, but it seems strange to me that you would bring them home late on a weeknight when they live in the area and you could see them again so easily. 2. him: I'm not sure what to say to reassure you here. Would you have cared if she wasn't a girl? She may as well not be. This is someone I have quite literally known since I was born, my absolute oldest friend. I never have felt any attraction towards her, or her towards me. I don't even consider the friendship in that way. We were at the E and she wanted to get stoned outside, and I didn't because I don't like to drive, as you know. She lives about ten blocks from my place, and I had already said I'd give her a ride back from Capitol Hill (and her boyfriend, who I dropped off on the way). Rather than sit around her place with her three middle-aged-sports-enthusiast roommates, we stopped at my place. I took her home at midnight. It never occurred to me that my sitting around listening to records might be construed as anything else. Believe me, YOU came up as a subject - think I even used the word "idyllic" again when describing our relationship. 3. me: I have no doubt that nothing happened so I don't need reassurance that this is the case. it just bothers me that you brought over to your house late at night this woman, whose boyfriend apparently was invited along while I wasn't. but I guess it's ok because you don't get much of a chance to see her, with her 10 blocks away and all. 4. him: I did not know that she was bringing a date, or I would have asked you. There's more to that, too. He took off from the E not long after I got there, but then showed up again later on (their office is next door to the bar; he just went there to work late I guess). He was going to catch a bus to Fremont, so I offered him a lift or he could go with us. He wanted to go home. The hanging out after the E was more at her suggestion (she wanted to be stoned and that couldn't really happen in the bar, right?), but I agreed because I don't really have any intention of hooking up with her again in the next few days; I figured we may as well hang out a little longer. ... 5. me: yeah, I guess it does bother me that you had a girl over, not some guy. I would feel better about it if any of the following were true: 1) I had already met her at some point, 2) I had been invited along with the group, 3) you had just gone out for drinks with her as planned but not had her come over later, 4) you had called me from the e and given me at least a pro forma invitation to meet up with you guys at your house, 5) gotten stoned like she wanted to outside the e or at her boyfriend's house then had her drive you guys back to your neighborhood so you wouldn't have to, 6) instead just made plans to meet up some other time since it was so late and you live so close and all. I may not be justified in being bothered, but that doesn't really matter. I don't know, how would you feel if I made plans to meet up with a guy you'd never met who I used to be really good friends with but hadn't seen in a long time, and possibly a friend of his or his girlfriend or whoever else, and didn't invite you, and we went out drinking, and then I had him come over to my apartment late at night to get stoned and listen to records? anyway, it's kind of good that this happened. now you have an idea of what sort of situation may bother me. because I believe you had no idea that I would care, I'm not mad at you at all. but if you think it's totally unreasonable that this would bother me, then there's a problem. because I don't want you to feel like you have to be subjected to someone else's totally unreasonable emotions, know what I mean? 6. him: Yes, it's a good thing. For the reasons you say. Jealousies just exist; they can't be rationalized away, and defusing the specific situations isn't really changing anyone's nature (on either side). I'm actually flattered by this - it really didn't occur to me that you would care. If you want see your male friends, especially pre-existing ones, that's fine. I guess I do reserve the right to have girls over if they meet that criteria. If it was somebody I actually found kinda hot, I would probably not have them over, because I would question my motive (and I would consider how you would feel about it). Look, you have this stable of boys - 1****, 2****, 3****, 4****, etc. - and I tolerate them. I even like 1****! I guess I don't perceive any of them as a real threat, though they each have a different position on my own jealousy meter. You're entitled to them and it wouldn't surprise me to find they've all been to your apartment since I've been in the picture. I'm not saying that it wouldn't bother me, but I would consider it your right, your choice. Hopefully you'd use the same discretion as me. 7. me: except I have totally done my good-faith best to introduce you to and include you in my interactions with 1****, 2****, 3****, 4****, etc. I think introductions to old friends and acquaintances does lots and lots to defuse jealousy. like, it would not faze me at all if you went out drinking with, say, your old friend jennie (who's a hottie) and then invited her over to hang out. in fact, I can't think of a single woman friend I've met whose coming over late would bother me. I'd just prefer if I had met her first or if you had called me first. I think I've seen 2**** once since I met you, and that was back in august, and I think you and I are on a completely different level now. when I go out with 1****, I end up calling you from his cell phone and inviting you along. I haven't seen 3**** alone since we've met each other, and the only time I've seen him in months was at the party I took you to. I've only seen 4**** alone once (that first time), and I refused to let him into my apartment that one night after we went drinking with paula. I would have a hard time believing you were particularly jealous of anyone but 2****. I feel I can't even really be friends with 2**** now that I'm going out with you. I mean, we're still friends, but I no longer think it would be appropriate for me to see him without you. but I don't regret at all that that is part of the compromise of this relationship. 8. him: True, I'm not terribly jealous of any of them. I do resent 2**** a little but I can't decide if it's because he sounds pretentious or if I'm actually jealous that you don't see him the same way. 3**** is an interesting case study in his circle of platonic foxes, but I hardly care, I might even enjoy it a little. 1**** and 4**** don't even register. 9. me: I think that within the context of a relationship, we should abrogate our own rights to bother the other person. of course I am free to do whatever I want, whenever I want, regardless of how you feel about it. of course. and vice versa. but that it bothers me should be reason enough for you to stop, regardless of your rights under the u.s. constitution or the specifications of the geneva convention or the incomparably high level of your discretion. you know what I mean? to think that something may bother me and then to do it anyway without asking me would be totally crappy. even if it SHOULDN'T bother me, even if you are within your rights, even if it should be your choice, even if you know nothing is going to happen. because if you think that I am not going to reasonably accommodate your wishes (if you had called me first and if you even had invited me, of course I wouldn't have gone, of course I would have let you go), then obviously there's a much larger problem. like, if I ask too much of you, if what I ask isn't reasonable, if your need to do things that bother me is so great that you go do them in secret, or whatever, then the whole relationship needs to be questioned because that would be so great an indication of incompatibility. in the last couple years I have decided that one's "rights" are completely irrelevant in such matters. like, I have the right to go fuck (other) married men, I do not consider the bible's commandment about its being morally wrong a reason not to do it -- the reason I would not do it is that it would bother you (and I don't want to). and that is reason enough. 10. him: By saying "Hopefully you'd use the same discretion as me" I meant that I hope neither of us would willfully do something that would hurt the other, regardless of our own autonomy. Do you think I don't really feel that? I also said that it did not occur to me that having S**** come over last night would faze you at all. My utter lack of attraction towards her meant that doing so failed to trigger my alarm that you might not be pleased. And no, I have no doubt you will "reasonably accommodate" my wishes. We're saying the same thing here. We are in total agreement. Your point is mine. By "your right, your choice" I mean that you fundamentally belong to yourself. By "use the same discretion" I meant that we each decline to do anything that might hurt (bother) the other, even though the right to do whatever we feel is our own. At this point, I choose not to fuck someone else out of consideration of you. I choose not to flirt with someone else out of consideration of you. In fact, your presence in my life has rather eclipsed my urge to do either of those things with anyone else (undeniable biological responses excepted). I'm not at all regretful of that. 11. me: ok, I think we're in agreement. you want to get a late dinner at cyclops tonight? |
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does the fact that he was willing to cheat on his wife concern you now that it looks like you are going to be his main squeeze? Obviously it would be retroactive to dwell on this, but surly it crosses your mind. I know if we ever go through a seperation....it WILL be difficult when it comes to the splitting of items...i don't exactly know of the law in cali...BUT i do know the "you leave with what you brought in" idea would be difficult. As we have built so much in 7 years together under one roof. What would be most daunting would be the music collection..... sorting through everything, determining what belongs to who....jesus id cry like a baby too. With each item you are diggin up the past....im terribly sentimental (aka big bleeding heart pussy to nate) ...... |
but I believe him and trust him. they've known each other forever. he was going out with and was then married to a recluse for a long time, and now I think it's great he can get back in touch with all his old friends. and if I had met her first and seen that she was no threat, then I probably would have been totally ok with it. but, still, 11:15 on a tuesday? what the fuck? |
now it's all about the 401k and the house equity. you know, the sentimental stuff. hey, they were separated before I met him, ok? the beginning of the divorce had nothing to do with me. and in all those years he never cheated on her, which is an enormous recommendation. |
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they have no children. it'll probably continue to be simple until his wife's live-in boyfriend moves back to europe next month and she decides she really wants him back. |
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ok, easy...i wasn't trying to imply you are a homewrecker...really i wasnt. i remember you talking about this before...im not sure i recall you saying they were seperated at that time...which makes the situation even more confusing, becasue if they were seperated at that time, i wonder why seemed conflicted about being with him then.... eh im confused....no matter |
the really sucky thing is that I'm going to be out of town for a few weeks in december, and that's when her boyfriend will be leaving. I'm actually not that worried. he won't forget I'm a better catch if for no other reason than I'm not clinically depressed. how fun could that be? |
So, I assume that youare going to or already have met S----? Your story makes me keep in mind that in future relationships I am going to have to stress right off the bat the importance of my friendships to me and the fact that many of my oldest and closest friends are women. IT is sort of odd from my perspective that you wouldn't have met his oldest friend who lives 10 blocks away yet, at the point. |
i don't mean that cyst is doing something wrong...just so much more possibility of being hurt. he seems to have an appreciation for relationships with a certain type of maintenance requirement. i have to say that i don't understand this 'friend meeting' to be such an issue. if he was going to do something wrong than why not let him do it and go away? whatever. i've been doing this shit all wrong anyway. people suck. someone just stole my painting. one that was promised to someone else. so fuck the world. |
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YET you wonder about the fact it was a woman, after 11pm on a school night, smoking pot and listening to records...."wtf?" you said.... i know sometimes admitting jealousy can be a seem like a shot in the foot in relationships....it's the dirty emotion we don't like to acknowledge we feel. im sure there is indeed a difference between being seperated and divorced....i like to think being seperated....requires a level of maturity so often lost in these kinds of preceedings. IF...and thats a big fucking IF.....nico and i were to ever split...i'd LIKE to think we could do without the lawyers...i would do my best not to include lawyers... seperation doesn't seem as final as divorce. sorry to hear that heather...... i often think how easily someone could ruin 2 years of hard work buy simply snagging my negatives..... I've shot well over 4000 negatives in the last 2 years....they are kept in a bag i lug to and from the studio....i'm too afraid to leave them anywhere....they hang by my front door...in case of fire.....they are grabbed on the way out... i NEVER leave them in my car.....should someone steal the car. Vulnerability. |
last night one went away. |
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so, maybe jealousy makes sense. |
I'm sorry, Heather. When art walks away, it's a crying shame. |
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he hadn't seen his oldest friend, who lives 10 blocks away from him, the whole time I have known him. (until the other night.) I guess he had gotten into a seclusionary (is that a word?) habit with his wife. she didn't like to go out, to be out in a group, and he ended up staying home with her a lot of the time. I think this happens a lot -- when people get into relationships and move in together, they lose contact with their old friends, even if they live nearby. I so much want him to get all his old friends back. that's important. I'm not sure why having some girl over late should make me jealous even if I know nothing is going to happen. we spend most nights together, and when we don't, we talk on the phone for a while before going to sleep. I was irritated that he couldn't talk to me (because he had a girl over). he did offer to call later, but I was going to sleep. I'm not sure my feelings were totally rational, but I can't help that, you know? it's not a big deal at all. I'm really glad that I finally found a reason to get a little mad at him and that I found that we could resolve things so easily. I know separated is not the same thing as divorced, but they were only married for two years, and she's been living with her boyfriend for months now. it's been a significant separation, I think. |
it's inexplicable, I think. it's like I want to meet these women and get a feeling for what they're like. if she were a total babe, and she seemed like his type, and if she was really flirtatious with him, then I would resent her. like, all I want is to get the feeling that she respects me or something. isn't that stupid? |
fortunately....my high school chums as well as hers....the few of the them....the good ones, the keepers, are just as close to the both of us as they have been... we don't have seperate friends, we don't do things seperately.....there has never been that element in our relationship..i thinks its mostly a good thing, but DOES have its draw backs. When we are ill at each other for whatever reason...and we have a social obligation....maintaining facades can be tiresome and difficult. im glad one of us is not a homebody....we usually work in sync....when one of use feels like being a homebody the other usually does too. i think if i had a girl......friend over after 11 on school night, smoking and listening to records...she might have a problem....like now, shes on the other side of the world....she would feel a little jealousy, ask me if i need to confess and let it go at that, i don't think she would let the jealousy get the best of her. i may act a little jealous as well if the sit were reveresed...of course it depends on who it is. but we also have some unique circumstances.....and i have publically made a mistake or two....that she knows about....i confessed nearly immediately,. It happened when i was fucked up and some dainty miss said somethings flattering....but that was just a kiss.....and it was more misjudgment and inflated drunken emotions than actual desire. she had been flattering the hell out of me with nico in the next room...so i told her i was flattered but loyal and kissed her....she then kinda freaked...thinking i was looking for the full court press....which i wasn't. this manic bitch had been following me around all night telling me how hot i was, my eyes were this and that, my hair was that and that etc etc etc......and i respond, and she freaks....the evil bitch had been setting a trap for me all night.....this demon with tits went on to be with angry sam for a few months.... wine makes me sappy..... eh anyway...where was i going with this......i was going to smoke |
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I don't recommend quitting caffeine to anyone. agatha owes me a lunch. I should go to oly sometime to try to collect. |
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be proud of him |
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http://members.tripod.com/accustat/samspage.html |
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