more than my next-door neighbor


sorabji.com: What are you wearing?: more than my next-door neighbor
THIS IS A READ-ONLY ARCHIVE FROM THE SORABJI.COM MESSAGE BOARDS (1995-2016).

By
crimson on Monday, May 7, 2001 - 10:32 pm:

    just thought i'd pop by & make a quick post about "underwear man". it's a pointless post, but i'm in a pointless kind of mood. anyway, i was on my way out of the house yesterday w/ pug & my husband, when we were accosted by my born-again, raving fundamentalist next door neighbor.

    the dude was outside, walking around pretty as you please, dressed in nothing but his underwear. he's a middle-aged guy, very conservative & sensible sort, religious as hell. & there he stood, wandering around the parking lot in the blazing noonday sun in a pair of silly-ass boxer shorts w/ little atomic symbols printed all over them.

    it just kinda blew my mind. i'm generally unaccustomed to seeing devout raving fundamentalists running amok in their skivvies. what the hell's this world coming to? it's just one of those oddball moments that just kind of fried my brain to a crisp. i've seen about a zillion guys in their undies & it's no big deal...it's just strange when it's coming from a guy you suspect probably doesn't even remove his clothing in the shower.

    so...what little things have happened to blow YOUR mind lately?


By Czarina on Tuesday, May 8, 2001 - 12:07 am:

    Hmmmm.A Kodak moment.See me,feel me,ogle my periodic table.



By Danielssss on Tuesday, May 8, 2001 - 01:30 am:

    It's only your elements I'm interested in...


By crimson on Tuesday, May 8, 2001 - 08:24 am:

    it was just damned weird, seeing this guy casually walking around in his shorts. he was heading across the parking lot, presumably getting ready to go strolling down the street in his unmentionables.

    it blew pug's mind, too. we could barely keep from snickering all the way to the car...not because we're totally wigged out by a man in his underwear...just THAT man in his underwear. & what underwear they were. i MUST own a pair of atomic drawers someday.

    what weirdass mission could this poor bastard have possibly been on? what dark, tantalizing secrets linger in the heart of Underwear Man? the world may never know.


By patrick on Tuesday, May 8, 2001 - 11:23 am:

    i was going to say...the drawers sound kind of cool.

    nothing has really blown my mind, other than some amazing hockey games as of late...but people like me aren't supposed to like sports, so I usually refrain from talking about it.


By Dougie on Tuesday, May 8, 2001 - 01:04 pm:

    "but people like me aren't supposed to like sports, so I usually refrain from talking about it."

    What kind of people is that?

    Damn, how about that Devils/Leafs game last night? I thought the Devils had sealed their fate with getting back to back penalties in the 2nd. But that Elias backhand shot and then Arnott's put in off the deflection was a thing a of major beauty.

    BTW, why isn't it the Toronto Maple "Leaves" as opposed to "Leafs". Leaves is the plural of Leaf, no?


By patrick on Tuesday, May 8, 2001 - 01:13 pm:

    I didn't see it.

    since i don't have cable im forced to bother friends or head to the bar...I was still worn out from Sunday night.

    im really only concerned with the Kings right now.

    I don't like NJ as a team, and Im hoping the Leafs bury them

    As far as spelling....got me....it IS Canadian.


By Dougie on Tuesday, May 8, 2001 - 01:19 pm:

    Dude, you gotta get cable. I was in hog heaven last night flipping between the Devils game and the Spurs/Mavericks. I love this time of the year: basketball playoffs, hockey playoffs, baseball in full swing etc.


By patrick on Tuesday, May 8, 2001 - 01:27 pm:

    i can't.

    i'll get sucked in.

    im only concerned with hockey. baseball has about 1,357 games to go before things get interesting and basketball is only interesting in the last 20 seconds which take 3 hours to complete.


By Hal on Tuesday, May 8, 2001 - 01:30 pm:

    The guy in the underwear, guessing here just because you said he was one of the extreamly religious types, that he probably hit the sacrimental wine a little too much that day, and decided he was going for a nice little stroll with, god, himself, and mister happy.


By Czarina on Tuesday, May 8, 2001 - 03:32 pm:

    I resent that remark about basketball.That last 20sec/3hours,can be the most exciting time frame you'll spend,with clothing on.


By Dougie on Tuesday, May 8, 2001 - 03:37 pm:

    I watch basketball naked, so it's doubly exciting for me.


By Czarina on Tuesday, May 8, 2001 - 03:42 pm:

    And thats why I'm so damn fond of you,Dougie :)


By Dougie on Tuesday, May 8, 2001 - 03:52 pm:

    Thanks, Czarina. Now if I could only get my girlfriend to appreciate my basketball-watching habits...


By Czarina on Tuesday, May 8, 2001 - 04:25 pm:

    Sorry Dougie,I haven't any advice for you on how to interest your girlfriend in basketball.I can tell you I gained my love for the sport,when I inadvertently ended up coaching 12 year old boys.I learned everything I could about the sport,plus I have a friend,who's husbands cousin was a Harlem Globetrotter,and I cooked up a big gumbo to entice him over,and he was extremely helpfull in my educutation.

    My team went out undefeated,2 years in a row,PLUS,we all had fun.I never yelled at the kids,if they screwed up,I laughed with them.They were not afraid to have fun,and I think this helped immensley.Plus,I had some local talent.
    I don't think the other coaches liked me very much.But all the other kids wanted to be on my team.

    I like football,too.But I neither coach nor play the sport.


By Platypus on Tuesday, May 8, 2001 - 05:12 pm:

    Well, they're filming a movie up here right now, so I nearly got run over by a bus load of extras. That was about it.

    I mean, if you're going to die because of a movie, why can't it be the car carrying Jim Carrey, for comic purposes?


By Czarina on Wednesday, May 9, 2001 - 12:22 am:

    I was making a trip to Portland a few years ago,and had sidetracked thru northern Calif to enjoy the scenery,so was traveling up I5,we had been traveling all night,and we were somewhere outside of Portland,[I can't remember the name of the town],and it was morning,and we were hungry,so we decided to stop and get some breakfast.[we were behind schedule due to some inclement weather we had encountered at the Grand Canyon.we were going to a graduation]

    Anyway,so we got off the freeway to eat,and whatever little town we stopped at wasn't right off the freeway,we had to keep driving to find the damn town,[we were already barely going to make it ontime for the graduation]So we finally get to the town,a quaint little place,but no one was around,so we got out and tried to go into the cozy little resteraunt,but it was locked,so we walked down the street to find another place to eat,but everything was closed.We found an old timey general store,with a great looking fruit display out front,so my s/o was fondeling the fruit,and commenting on how this was the biggest,best looking fruit he had ever seen,and he was picking what he was gonna have,and I had walked to the next shop,which was a bakery,that had these delicious looking pastries displayed in the window.They were the biggest,fluffliest,yummiest looking pastries I had ever seen,and I had my heart set on one of the lemon poppyseed muffins.So I hollered to my s/o,"You can have the fruit if you want,but you oughta come see whats in the window of this bakery before you decide!"

    Then I tried to go into the bakery,but it was locked,too.So we went back to the fruit,and were both picking out what we wanted,when this guy comes running up from out of nowhere,yelling "Stop!Put that back!You can't eat that,its not real fruit!Thats not a real store,this isn't a real town,its a movie set!"
    Dazed from driving all night,and terribly hungry,I desperately asked about my coveted lemon poppyseed muffin,but it was a no-go,too.All fake.

    I can't remember the name of the movie,but they were very nice and asked us if we'd like to be extras in it,but we couldn't,cause we had to get to the graduation.This is still a standing joke in our family.......when the food looks too good,its probably fake.


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