A girl down the hall died today. Someone found her in the bathroom. She had a lung problem, I think. Always skinny and talked with a raspy voice. All last year you could hear her in her room coughing while the breathing aparatus made it's suction sounds. I took classes over the summer. She was here too. She dissapeared halfway through. She got her operation to fix whatever was wrong. This semester she looked a lot better. Her cheeks filled in and her voice got better. She changed her major from art to radio, since she no longer had the raspy voice. She was happy. She died this morning. I stepped out of my room on the way to the bathroom, all groggy, and right in front of me was a policeman. He asked if I could stay in the room because they had an emergency situation. I asked him if I could go to the bathroom, which was ten steps away. He said I could. As I was in the bathroom, I started shaking. All the thoughts went through my head as to what could have happened. The last thing on my mind was her. I waited in my room for a half an hour, waiting for them to tell me when I could leave. My nerves kept busy in that time. Finally, I had to return to the bathroom, so I grabbed my toothbrush and toothpaste and opened up the door. Again, before I could take a step, a policeman stopped me. I asked if I could use the bathroom again. He said I could, so I went inside. My friend Mel was in there. Neither of us had any clue as to what was going on. He left, and I brushed my teeth. I opened up the door two minutes later and the cop stopped me. He asked if I could stay in the bathroom for another two minutes. Not knowing any other option, I waited. The two minutes passed, and he came back in to tell me it was okay. I stepped out, took two steps and I saw her. She was on a stretcher with a bag almost all the way over her. It was about twenty feet away. The bag opening was on the side, so I could see her arms and legs, but I didn't get a good enough look at her face. The officer made sure I went into my room. He asked me if I knew her. I had to ask him to repeat it so I was sure who he was talking to. I knew her. She died. She wasn't a friend, but we said things to each other in the hallway. She was a friend to some of my friends. I know they are hurt. He asked me if I had seen her last night. I told him I did. When I was coming back from 7-11, I saw her in the hallway with some other people from the floor. She looked like she had the flu, evident from the garbage can in propor position. I didn't think anything of it, because she was known to get sick easily. The officer said that an investigator would be around shortly to ask me some questions, so he wanted me to remain in my room. He would provide a note if my instructor needed one. I turned, and he shut the door. I was going to be late for class, but it didn't matter. I waited until my class was over. The investigator hadn't come by yet, so I peeked through the peephole in my door. I couldn't see any of their gear anymore. I opened up my door, and they had all gone, save one officer in the girl's room. I grabbed my books, and left. I walked by the girl's room and didn't look inside. When I came back, two classes later, her door was shut. All of her decorations were still on the door. A girl down the hall died this morning. LS

i think it's the lung.

Fucking hell, dave. I'm sorry, LS, I know exactly how you feel. My band(old band) has a song that is all about this type of situatiopn and if you send me a mailing address, I'll send you a copy.

Yea... I am familiar with that song. I got an update. She had a double lung transplant earlier in the year. They don't know exactly why she died, but her body was a very fragile thing. She also had diabetes. Her parents are sad, but they knew it was possible since the day she was born. LS

whassamatta, sem? "She had a lung problem, I think. " how else could a ween fan respond? does this mean i won't get invited to your funeral?

LoneStranger, I'm sorry you had to experience that. It must have shaken you up quite a bit.

Ouch... dude, thats no good. I wouldn't have gone to class, and told anyone who wanted to tell me what I "NEEDED" to do to go fuck themselves. That kinda shakes me up and all I did was read about it.

It's sad someone so young shouldn't have to go through that. Actually nobody should. We should all die peasefully in our own beds when our bodies run out. Sometime after our one hundredth birthday. That's a good age to die.

dave., it just means you won't be allowed to sing until the coffin is lowered. How do you know that song, LS? Is LS a new name for someone I know and I am ignorant of that fact?

lone stranger

patrick

Yes, yesterday was a long day. It was wierd to be walking past the spot where I saw her on the stretcher, and where I had seen her the night before all sick. I would have felt like an ass if I didn't go to class. I wasn't a close friend. I would have felt like I was taking advantage of the situation. She had a pulse when the police came on seen, but when the paramedics showed up, the pulse was gone. They tried for 45 minutes to resuscitate. I agree, she was too young. But listening to people talk about her, people who knew her well, it seemed that she did the most with what she had. She was so very happy to have the new lungs. She could dance and sing without having to rest after 30 seconds. It is sad, but she is totally healthy now. I have been a Ween fan for many, many years. I believe you can thank Marc, Jeff and especially Nate. Now it seems that I am more of a Ween fan than they ever were. Hrm. that reminds me. My Boognish beanie should have shown up today. I am no one you know. I am LS. That nickname goes back a long way, further than my knowledge of Ween. Nate can back that up too. Anywho. It is the weekend... and I need to relax and play videogames. Anything to not spend more money. Oh. And I do have homework to do. Less than two weeks to go, then I have 5 weeks off! LS

Screw you... I don't get any time off until the day before christmas then I get one day.

i have the entire weekend off but on the other hand i have two parties tonight to attend, a potluck to help host tomorrow, a house meeting on monday, radical art girls meeting on tuesday, another party on wednesday, and working tuesday-saturday a grand total of 38 hours. at least you have a steady schedule. i'm sorry ls, nothing like that should ever happen to anyone.

no one should ever die? or no one should ever see someone dead? or no one should ever live down the hall from someone who dies? or no one should ever know somone who dies? i have trouble comprehending death. a few months ago i was having a really good day. i bought some apples at the deli around the corner and as i was walking home i thought, i should call my mom and see how she's doing. then i remembered. did i tell you that i was in the room when she died? that i was watching television. ER. i looked over and her chest wasn't moving. i stared for so long thinking that it was just taking her a long time to breath.

Oh, but it happens to everyone. Unless you die first, that is. Seize the day. I'm gonna go eat now.

I was never broken up about what happened. I was actually relieved that it wasn't something that happened to someone I was close to there. But I was in a funk the entire day. I kept thinking about it and about what would have happened if it was someone I knew well. Makes you want to enjoy your relationships with your friends and family to the fullest. Something like that SHOULD never happen to anyone, but it is inevitable that you will know someone who dies. I suppose the idea is to realize before it's too late to cherish them. LS

Realizing that life is short,and our hold on it is tenous at best,brings home the thought that perhaps we should take whatever small increments of happiness that the fates send our way,and cherish them,because their presence could be gone,almost before we realized they were here. I'm really LS.

oooops.........."sorry"

I learnt that when Darcy died. You should take risks. I should ask that guy I have a crush on out. But I won't. I'm a super~wimp.

Speaking of being a super~wimp... There is a girl down the hall... a different girl than the one who died. And not to be cruel... just truthful... When I first started to think about what had happened and why the emergency people were there, what made me shake was thinking that something had happened to her. I've wanted to ask her out the whole semester. First problem... she had a boyfriend back home. My roommate said they'd be broken up by Thanksgiving. They were. The week before, I had asked her how long a guy needed to wait to ask a girl out after she broke up with her boyfriend. She said a month. A month was Thanksgiving break. She went back home, and one of the things she did was to sort out things with her boyfriend so they could remain friends or get back together. I wanted to ask her where they stood when she got back, but I was too chicken. I decided to wait a little longer so she could sort things out. I waited too long. Last Tuesday, I found out she set a date with a guy for that Thursday. I started to fall into a depressed feeling. Before she told me about her date, she asked me if I was staying that weekend, or going home. I knew I was going home, but I told her I wasn't sure. As soon as she mentioned the date, my mind went blank and I tried to stare at my homework I had in front of me. She must have picked that up and didn't say anything else about it. I think that was the beginning of my slump. Apparently I turned into an ass because the next day she noticed I was acting different toward her. I didn't think I was. I still looked into her eyes longingly, convinced (and hoping) that mine own were giving my feelings away. My roommate says that my face wasn't as happy when I looked into her eyes as it had been before. Where my eyes failed to tell her my feelings toward her, my face gave away my thoughts toward her date. If only I could tell her how I feel. She asked me what was wrong here and there over the next few days. I couldn't tell her anything. All I could do was to look into her eyes or look away and say 'I don't know.' Thursday, the same day that the girl down the hall died, was the night of her date. Not only was I feeling depressed about the death, I was feeling bad about the date. After the floor meeting where we were informed about what they knew about the girl's death, my desire walked back to her room. When she noticed me behind her, she stopped. She asked me if I had decided to stay in the dorms or leave for home. I just looked at her and said, "There's nothing keeping me here." With that, her face dropped and she briskly walked away toward her room. I knew I fucked up, once again. Ten minutes later, she came into my room. My roommate, who was talking to a couple of guys, quickly realized that I needed space, and casually lured them outside so we could be alone. And can you guess what I did? Correct. Nothing. I didn't say it. Do you know what I said? Of course. I said "I don't know." She asked me if it was something she did. I told her it wasn't. She had done nothing at all. But I lied. She did something. She had a date. And it wasn't with me. My roommate, who is thirty (if you have problems with a thirty year old college student, I'll discuss it in another thread.) said that she only went on the date to find out if she is ready to go on dates. And it was with that guy because he was the one who asked. I keep thinking that I would tell her how I feel, but when the time is right, my brain scurries back into the receses of my mind and refuses to admit anything. She even gives me chances, maybe intentional, but probably not, and I fail to make a peep. Why am I an uber-wuss? I had been patient since the beginning of the semester, waiting for her to break up with her boyfriend. She did. Then I wait for her to have some time to relax. She did. Then I wait too long to make my move. I know exactly what I have to do now. I'm home at the moment... but I called a friend at school today. He had talked to her a bit. Apparently she hasn't had a very good week. I think part of that was me. But I can't help but hope that her date went really bad with that guy. When I go back tomorrow... er... today I guess... I need to tell her something. Not just hoping that she reads it from my eyes. Maybe she has been waiting for me to just say it. Maybe she really has no clue. I think I'm scared. I don't want to know what her response is, because I'm afraid I won't like it. I know what the deal is. I need to just do it. I will never find anything out by being a wuss. I will miss out on possibly a fantastic relationship. Who knows, my future wife may be her, or someone I meet through her. I may miss out on a 'fruitful intersection' in life. An intersection that takes me in a perpindicular angle to the one I am on now. I'm not ignorant when it comes to what to do in this situation. I'm just a wuss and won't do it. I hope this all makes sense. It's 5:37 in the morning. LS

LS I will send you five dollars if you ask her out.

Now THAT is a motivating thing. I will let you all know what the results of tonite are. Hopefully they will be good. LS

i'm reading the catcher in the rye. i like reading what boys think.

especially as $5 Nz is like $12 US.

no wait thats the other way round fuckit. no is it... damn i've confused myself. stupid exchange rate

Result: New Zealand dollar to United States dollar 5.000000 NZ$ = 2.074218 US$ Exchange Rates current as of 12/7/2001 (month/day/year) currency converter. cheap date.

Thanks Dr. Oopy. psst: you're not meant to tell anyone how cheap I am, I thought that was our little secret!

sorry. but you know how much it turns me on. i've been trying to do some cleaning around the apartment...shovel my way out. i noticed that the cat, mattie, was off in a corner scratching on the carpet. i thought maybe she'd found a bug or something. just now i went over to check and found that she'd gathered up all the dust and debris on the floor into neat little piles for me to dispose of. ain't that sweet? one morning i'll wake up and she'll have made coffee.

I want your cat... YOu can have mine...

Pussy swapping? Still no update. News at 11. LS

It's Monday! Trust. Trust. Trust. Otherwise we're toast.

There'll be no pussy-swapping,unless I get to play.

Well do you have a pussy to submit to the pot???

good luck LS

I have no luck. Apparently her date went well. But she said she still needs time to sort things out with her ex-boyfriend. I didn't want to make things worse by telling her anything, but I may reconsider. I did apologize for acting like an ass last week. Things are better now. But not as good as I had hoped. Aye me. Maybe I should just try and find another. LS

oh for fucks sake. just bloody say 'look the reason I was such a growly-ass last week, was not just because I am a boy, and boys suck, but because i want to have anal sex with you. I want to fuck like monkeys for a 12 hour period, and then buy you icecream'. You'll be in buddy, I guarantee it.

and if it doesn't, i'll buy you enough beer to drown your tapeworm. once i'm back stateside.

Maybe a more sensative approach would be appreciated.Something like: "Sorry if I seemed kinda testy last week.I really wanted to ask you out,but was afraid it was too soon.And then,when you had plans,I was kinda kicking myself,that I hadn't asked you out." [But,the fucking like monkeys sounds like fun,too.That'd be a hard offer for a gal to pass up :)]

LS, don't make the mistake of assuming that she doesn't want to be troubled by your presence, that to tell her how you feel would be an inconvenience to her. I spent years wasting opportunities doing that. Ask her out. NOW! I wish I was there to kick you in the ass.

or don't. no big deal either way.

Just ask her out!!! Even if she would be the type who could destroy your ego with a withering put down. All she could really do would be say no. So go for it. If you don't you will face a life time of what if's. If she says yes - great you're in. If she came back at you with the most ego destroying answer imaginable - at least you found out you wouldn't want to date her anyway. Either way you win. It just might take you a while to realize it if your ego is deflated.

The reason you have no luck is that you don't ask her. not that i'm any better about it, but i can still give advice, right?