| THIS IS A READ-ONLY ARCHIVE FROM THE SORABJI.COM MESSAGE BOARDS (1995-2016). |
|---|
pirhanna autoerotic asphyxiation sea world antelope antartica plummeted |
corrosion Hollywood Madam goo pulverised puppy farm Nate |
potential Cabbage Patch glue syphilis inmate NAMBLA stomp maggots Cher |
|
propeller |
|
fecal |
|
|
plastic bag cabbage "accident" (with finger quotes) cats Satan back alley bowie knife |
|
granules chamber searing sorabji |
|
|
garden tools Celine powdered sugar |
dogshit |
repressed trailer felony stall Dahmer |
|
flatulence trajectory |
dry rot garlic sticky Carl |
|
panty hose mongolian |
|
sprinkles chopstick budget wiggles Heimlich |
|
cork |
pudding clerical error toenails |
infestation |
|
"words you wouldn't want spoken during your eulogy" |
|
restraining |
interspecies |
perversion housewife old unnatural arthritis useless unimportant airhead flighty lard ass crisco itty bitty tittie committee sin, sinner, or sinned bad hair day |
pincers inflatable Triple Lutz real go-getter gerbil |
bad taco bad taquito bad carne guissada bad fish taco bad picadillo bad beans bad rice bad guacamole bad salsa |
|
uh... . . . . flesh eating bacteria disgruntled coworker oh my god, clerical error, that cracks me the fuck up |
|
|
clipboard Bic |
plushie |
|
receptionist |
|
|
airlock BBS |
|
popcorn tumescence chipper |
|
slip 'n' slide |
|
balloon animals |
polyvinyl inexperienced airborne |
|
IMAX |
|
|
|
|
|
mint |
|
|
deep fryer |
|
|
|
|
pool cue |
freight |
|
novelty Saguaro |
|
dudette |
|
|
|
oil change Batman waist deep fire hydrant |
|
popsicle |
|
tractor pull |
Spock skid marks |
|
|
ball gag |
|
(ok, ok...) |
|
hidden collection of childrens shoes |
synergy escort Tylenol chic fudge riff-raff emo spew Tai-Bo jazzercise wedged between JonBenet ferris wheel fo'sheazy manwich |
|
|
pork |
|
webzine punked plannogram |
|
|
vegemite charcoal chupacabra |
|
|
emery board tankini pellet |
|
sexual deviancy hell inevtiable inoperable inflammable pryomaniac nerd geek |
|
wastewater |
|
|
avulsion woodpile leotard |
barbecue aol crisis pundit |
|
|
|
|
slacks anal leakage uncle dad |
velveeta decommpression sequel |
|
kentucky |
cracker pit |
|
(the double "m" typo in decompression occurred during a laughing fit over "slacks." bravo dave.) |
problematize historicism boba fett deconstruction scalene |
mildew yeast perforated chyme giardiasis psoriasis sebacious basket no offense |
|
Santa Claus pubic hair infection warts childless lonely fart brave divorce bored |
|
New York Hillary |
|
lasso deluge spongebob erroneous |
|
bumpersticker patch |
cuddles witchfest sumo sanrio |
the evil cop ovaries |
backhoe pachouli makeover |
punk goth |
|
|
mascot incontinent |
|
bong |
|
sump |
|
showtunes |
|
|
encrusted |
|
von dutch |
|
cafeteria |
|
onomatopoeically |
leprosy krispy kremes mechanical bull |
|
infomercial edutainment sticky crumbs |
|
tapeworm conversion unguent fumigate |
|
oopsie |
|
sweetcheeks |
tremors frito hock drool |
|
prance |
|
pashmina |
popliteal |
|
switchboard fromage |
|
kato |
|
coprophagia ivana flail |
|
conventioneer |
|
affectation |
|
duckling |
|
diggity |
bling gigli bobblehead |
governor seor ballz varicose |
|
celebutante diva |
|
|
balustrade dovetail (verb) billet poop |
fanfic chedda |
|
ghetto |
|
|
|
|
twee sternum tats |
|
sheezy shizzle hizzle |
|
|
|
|
bud |
|
peeance |
|
|
*Con (* = anything) |
|
Neverland |
|
pleather |
|
|
|
filibuster tutu |
|
|
trekkie speculum |
|
|
woody allen pokemon big tom |
|
|
|
anything-MEISTER |
|
spiderhole |
|
|
|
|
goldschlagger |
rhetorical ironic anal bum cover equitable prolific |
|
lousy tipper "Ranger" "Pioneer" |
|
|
subwoofer |
|
"jiffy lube" |
|
fold-out couch |
|
stigmata smegma smegmata |
potahto |
Hootie McBoob and/or Chestie LaRue steady diet of liver and bunyons Match Game '75 and/or Gene Rayburn Fahrfernugen Frusen Gladje Fuckin' A Holy Moley tater tots and/or tater twats and/or toter tats and/or twater tats roto rooter that's the name, you just flush your troubles down the drain Wookies samfrantastic bee-yotch Stella by Starlight If I fell in love with you, would you promise me a screw Marlboro and/or Philip Morris Roman Gabriel and/or Bart Starr and/or Johnny Unitas irritable bowel syndrome worm food plant food miracle grow fertilizer ch-ch-ch-chia furry fluffy fuzzy hirsute ...and his badly matted back hair had to be cut away for the coroner to determine the cause of... Drano ...after ingesting massive amounts of Drambuie... |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
repo job iqbal |
escalade hose classy olestra ginormous impaled ostentatious scrapple loafers hummer cigarette |
jack lamer |
penisfucker dumbfuckers lickhead biaaaatch! |
jack jack lamer |
|
Dr Pepper 20' portable fan 2001 Dodge Durango |
dodi apprentice princess overalls couric "....(any letter) to tha (anything)...." ejected raisinet prong sitcom bitchin' dank kreme drrrrty grrrrrrls |
polymer raincoat frantic |
|
|
pink tweeze galosh gehrig |
graceland gnip accosted |
pundit bumfights |
|
|
pillow headphone parking meter carpet |
irritating festering vapid |
odiferous guru rowlfe |
generation |
feeding tube icthyosis monster dental records |
undie pantyhose g-string bodylaced net |
Monorphy, Mcphee, Blab, Heavenly and Mite. |
eichmann meltdown turd |
Self-inflicted "blessed end" |
sneeze rhematoid arthritis congenital or chronic antyhing chainring SUV inevitable eyelash pyrokinesis |
Schnectady beano Pascagoula |
|
|
decapitated rosebud gangrene scarf |
|
|
|
pentacostal slsk |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
ginsu ipod amperage rubbermaid hardhat cautionary tale |
|
ball joint pitchfork mega-dittos c-span diverticulitis magnesium citrate |
a cookie for anyone who knows why. |
|
|
|
di dodi rat |
|
|
|
|
I'm a little obsessed and disturbed by this new learning. |
|
|
milk |
|
holy shit. i did it! happy fuckin new year! |
ejected lithuanian styrofoam |
|
|
|
one resolution down, four more to go! 2. eat more chocolate 3. get less exercise 4. watch more cable TV 5. spend frivolously |
|
turkish |
fo' shizzle what yeah ok um like aysphixiation pillow butane torch horrid crevice cryogenically frozen skin graft hobby horse ... |
|
|

 mudslide casino |
|
|
webinar |
paradigm (come to think of it: "nintendo paradigm" as well) |
|
|
kindergarten |
it would mean a lot. plus, the normals in my life would tear up and think "wow, these are the people who really understood nate." |
|
wizard vampire marshmallow |
|
|
|
huffpo buzzflash beerbelly tivo blog emo |
|
|
|
|
|
|
manufacturer's defect |
|
sewage Q-Tips self-help |
|
|
mange |
|
|
|
misunderstanding |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
cocaine unnatural questional activities still under investigation |
|
The commas in the URL make this a cut and paster, not a click on linker. |
|
|
|
|
Pinochet wheeze vial franchise amenities Lexus photoshop rite aid |
|
|
Quark delish inDesign PowerPoint VIP bullet list pedigree |
after effects |
|
|
stool |
|
which might benefit some participants eulogy Main Entry: eulogy Pronunciation: \ˈy-lə-j\ Function: noun Inflected Form(s): plural eulogies Etymology: Middle English euloge, from Medieval Latin eulogium, from Greek eulogia praise, from eu- + -logia -logy Date: 15th century 1 : a commendatory oration or writing especially in honor of one deceased <she delivered the eulogy at his funeral>] |
|
i do recognize the potential desirability of being eulogized by someone who does not take the opportunity to rob those present. i just haven't made up my mind yet. |
Yes, Jack, I do know what a eulogy is,but I am not comfortable to make myself a speaker and what beside me is a person laid in a casket. I rather that I leave it so someone who have a desire to make a speech.Last year, I have been to four different funeral service for the last four week, two is related to natural cause, and four is related to natural disaster. thank you |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
coconuts eels agony |
|
|
|
exit interview |
|
|
|
|
FLASH FROZEN TYPICAL ATYPICAL DEAD SEVERED RENDERING |
|
tulips escape Tilex exacerbated Splenda The Beast |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
stampede |
|
|
|
|
horoscope Christian |
|
sandwiched |
|
"By Jack on Sunday, February 20, 2005 - 03:12 am: jack jack jack lamer " ] |
|
|
|
morose obsessive compulsive bipolar I didn't bother to see if any of these have been said before, so there. |
|
|
Linus Wright |
|
|
|
densitometer Iqbal doberman |
|
vilnius |
|
HUNG on Friday, June 25, 2004 - 12:04 am: WHY I OUGHTA.... SHOUDA HAVE SHOVED BROOMHANDLE UP RTC'S ARSE..... RECENTLY, I HAVE LEARNED THAT THEIR WEBSITE HAS CHANGED AGAIN..... A FEW MONTHS AGO, I LAUNCHED A CRITIC ABOUT RTC'S WEBSITE BEING A LAMER.....AND NOW...... RTC HAS A NEW WEBSITE.... I NOTICED THE PICTURES SO BLURRED AND IT'S GIVING ME A HEADACHE....AGAIN.... THEY'RE A LAMER ........ I THINK WHO EVER TOOK A PICTURES MUST BE HIGH ON L.S.D..... CHECK WWW.RTCIND.COM. HOWEVER,I AM UPSET THAT THEY ARE LIVING LARGE. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- By on Friday, June 25, 2004 - 12:19 am: WHEN IT WAS MY LAST DAY AT RTC. 9/17/1998. I SEE IQBAL KHAN SO PISSED OFF, HE LET IT OUT OF HIS MOUTH TO SOMEONE MENTIONED ABOUT ME. I SURELY LIKED TO SEE HIM SAY THAT ME AGAIN. I OUGHT TO FONG THEIR ARSE. I OUGHT TO TELL THEM THAT THE EQUIPMENT NEEDED TO BE REPAIRED. I OUGHT TO BEAT THE SHIT OUT THEM FOR BETRAYAL OF FRIENDSHIP WITH ME. I OUGHT TO LAY MY THIRD FINGER AT THEM. YOU KNOW WHO EVER I SPOKE TO THEM(HUMAN RESOURCE) ABOUT MY RESIGNATION, THEY DIDN'T TELL ME THEIR NAME IN ORDER FOR ME TO SENT THEM MY RESIGNATION LETTER, HOWEVER A LADY WHO TOOK MY CALL AND WHEN I ASKED THAT PERSON FOR A NAME SO THAT I CAN SEND THE RESIGNATION LETTER, SHE SAID "EITHER THEM OR ME". I OUGHT TO FONG THEM, BUT ONE OF FOUR OR FIVE . THEIR NAME IS M HERSHEY, E KASER, B PAVLICK, J HORTON AND J CARLSON. IT WASN'T EASY TO GET OVER WITH THIS, WHEN I HAVE A RECURRING MEMORY, IT MAKING ME SO ANGRY,WHY!!!!!! I OUGHT TO FONG THEIR ARSE..THEY FIRED MY SUPERVISOR G RUDY...... THEY .... I THINK THEY DID A DIRTY JOB IN FINDING A WAY TO GET RID OF ME.....I OUGHT TO FONG THEIR ARSE......WHY I OUGHT TO...... WHY THEY CAN'T LISTEN WHEN MY EQUIPMENT MALFUNCTION...... HOW AM I GET OVER WITH THIS?????? IT IS A DIRTY JOB, BUT SOMEBODY GOT TO THAT AWWW FUCK MAN.......... SHAME ON YOU RTC INDUSTRIES! |
|
|
|
jack who? at least make up another of your own names instead of stealing dr oopy's name! |
|
|
jaq never worked for rtc industries! hahaha! |
|
|
keyboard cat ORLY? ytmnd rickroll action figures palin |
|
every one especially penguins |
|
dear friends, we are gathered here today to remember the dearly departed heather. some of you may be saying to yourselves "gimme the car keys, motherfucker" or "ORLY? i'd rather play with my keyboard cat action figures." but i'm here to say (with apologies to sarah palin) "you betcha!" a personal anecdote: i recall an incident with heather and a room full of penguins... |
|
|
"honey, can you help? the dog palin'd the mud room again." |
|
|
nuclear winter economic winter ruptured pressure cooker palin delicious clinical services Words I DO WTHIME: succulent feathered landing goat's milk ta ta fondest |
heather nate mark sarah dr pepper droopy back seat of the Buick hang gliding cheese flavored puffcorn tropicana we are gathered here today to sift through the ashes of |
|
|
|
|
|
loosely wrapped |
|
|
|
fatty liver constipation |
|
Ponzi dog leash G train deranged |
|
rare |
|
TENTACLES rare deranged clinical services delicious I guess I can stop at penguins because I did this before. |
skin slippage vomitus |
nitrogen unobtanium flurry mochi quack |
endometrial sarcosis happy feet delicious ants christmas spirit |
Creedence Clearwater Revival Doobie Unemployed Boyfriend Dingleberry |
|
|
|
|
Sagittarius |
|
|
|
Tubthumping |
|
|
zester |
John Fucking Edwards Lady Fucking Gaga |
|
|
|
Tanya |
|
|
|
The saddest funerals are the ones that very few people attend. I'm affraid mine will be like that. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Batman |
|
can skip all the cloying bullshit and go have a party. And anyone who puts me in one of those hideous wedding cake caskets (plain old pine or ashes, please) is getting haunted extra hard. |
|
Better Place Antiquing I hope Batman comes to my funeral. |
|
|
|
Wedding cake casket? |
|
|
|
|
sweaty |
|
|
I'll be dead. Which hopefully is a better place. Wouldn't it be terrible if our lives after death were as screwed up as they are now. Now that would be hell. |
I just thought this thread should be revived. It makes me smile. |
birther - I am glad you brought it back - its been 10 years since i wrote on this one..... it makes me smile as well. |
|
I stole that from The Far Side. |
I haven't found any others lately that can actually make me laugh. I have been rereading my Far Side Gallery Books. Unless you have strong stomach muscles be very careful with The Complete Far Side. They are very heavy. I do like Gary Larson's essays at the beginning of each years (?) worth of comics in them. He is just as funny in prose as he is in his single panel comics. I haven't collected all the Bloom County/ Outland/ Opus books yet. And Berkley Breathed has just released a new book on his art mostly the non Bloom County stuff. I do know he has been trying to get a new Opus movie made. But, it is still in development. Rats, I could really use a good laugh. |
|
Please explain. What shooting? |
|
|