My great uncle John is a doctor in Las Vegas -- he's good friends with Paul Anka and had Frank Sinatra and Elvis as patients at one time. Elvis gave him a Cadillac. My grandfather danced with Claudette Colbert during WWII. My aunt used to be friends with Paul Reiser's sister. Pavarotti touched my mother's stomach while she was pregnant with me when she asked him for his autograph after a performance. He accurately predicted my gender. I once wrote Adult Swim Records (owned by Minor Threat's drummer Jeff Nelson) to ask for a catalog, and Jeff wrote me back to tell me I had nice handwriting. I was once babysat by Clara Bow's son (Clara was a famous silent film star). How about you?

PS. The sorrier (as evidenced by my list), the better.

Met Jimmy Duval at a pizza joint, old chums with Sam. He was in Go, SLC Punk, Nowhere, Independence Day, Doom Generation. Met Mr. T as a kid. Introduced to a drunk Jason Priestly Sat on the same couch as Ben Affleck at a party before i really knew who he was. Nico met Wynona Ryder backstage at a Foo Fighters show. Nico met Darryl Hannah in the bathroom at a bar. Im going to be doing photos for the fiance of the drummer of Tool, or is the bassist...eitherway. Sat at the table next to the guy who plays Skinner on XFiles at a mexican joint. Met and shared a smoke with Red Simpson, country singer, song writer. Had a letter exchange with Rob formerly of Eggs about being their drummer.

i ended up poking around an arkansas flea market w/ laura dern & billy bob thornton. billy bob bought a large painting. met roger daltrey in an airport. spoke w/ allen ginsberg in a hallway, outside a men's room door. robert plant smiled & winked at me, on his hurried way to somewhere else. i sat at the same boardroom table w/ some pulitzer prize winning poet, whose name presently escapes me. met bill clinton. my hubby's interviewed him a godzillion times. my mom's talked to him. everybody here has met him...it's one of the hazards of living in this state.

met mike watt after a fIREHOSE concert, once. seemed like a fun guy.

i think i saw rosie o'donnell walking down lexington avenue. but i also used to see al gore driving various cars around kansas... so sometimes i just get excited. and i was on the wizo the clown show when i was 4. he was local, but famous to me.

My late great-uncle John told Patton to kiss his ass, he didn't want no medal. I have a photo of me and Jason Newsted flipping off the camera after a Metallica concert. I talked to Janick Gers about Bruce Dickinson's throat problems after an Iron Maiden show. My brother touched the fur on George "The Animal" Steeel's back. My father was taken to Oral Roberts for faith healing once when he was a lad. I had breakfast with a member of the Drovers once. My friend Amani was in a Jurassic-5 video. I think that's about it. Oh, I took a piss next to Mojo Nixon, too.

my grandpa ran shipmate (eizenhower's camp during ww2) i once had steve (lead singer of backside) sign my left shoulder at a show. "steve sucks" my sister was on ramblin' rod (local kiddy show) my dad has been recognized as elvis, clark kent and garrison keilor (depends on era and location) i got lost once, camping at wallallie lake when i was two, and was returned to the campsite by rebecca webb, a local newslady. i once gave marconi (radio dj) a fortune cookie that was cursed. my mom once suggested that my lil sis and i be plus size models to raise money for college. which is a bit of an insult. i may be big and tall, but there's a difference between height and "plus size".

Rode Roy Rogers' horse Danny, full brother to Trigger. Met Dave Brubeck. Fell off the curb when I saw Ethel Merman in front of the Sherry Netherland. Cooked dinner for Johnny Cash.

i love johnny cash. he just gets better and better.

i lived with several guys, a couple of whom went on to form pearl jam. had breakfast with fang. ignored john curley (kerley?), local tv magazine host, as he stood outside his pr firm's office. i like to pretend i don't know media personalities when i see them. i once saw jean enersen, news anchor, in her gti when she pulled up beside me at a stop light. i glanced over and she was looking at me so i looked back. of course, i knew who she was. she smiled at me as if to say, "YES! it IS me! i AM jean enersen, news anchor for king5 news!" i casually looked away, betraying no apparent signs that i recognized her. i'm so proud of myself for that. i know matt jacobsen. he's not famous or anything but he's as iconic as any proper icon. i dated the singer for sky cries mary. well, at least until she dumped me for my best friend. what a beautiful woman, even at 16.

I was on a local television show,"The Lew King Ranger Show",with Wayne Newton.I was 7 years old,and wearing my Brownie uniform,he was a teenager. My ex-husband dated Geena Davis,before he met me. [she went to school with his sister] My older sisters best friend,Darlene,has a brother named Dallas Taylor,who played drums for Crosby,Stills,Nash and Young.She would dress me up,and make me come to their concerts,and we would hang out back stage.She didn't like MY friends,and tried to make me fit into her lifestyle,with her friends.They seemed really old to me,and Stephen Stills is a prick.[several years ago,I saw Dallas on TV,begging for a new liver.I don't know if he got it or not.But he was always nice to me.] I refused to have sex with Jerry Jeff Walker. Dolly Partons hairdresser is from here,and I am friends with his mom. When my dad was a kid,he caddied for Groucho Marx.

1. firehose 2. kira from black flag/former wife of mike watt (she was incredibly nice) 3. joan jett (the coolest woman ever) 4. hung with youth of today repeatedly 5. " gorilla biscuits 6. " bold 7. " up front, wide awake, side by side, judge 8. share a building with all the k records folk (wahoo... i'm grasping here) 9. aimee mann from til tuesday (total freak) 10. got winked at by peter buck 11. ll cool j (he's short) 12. epmd 13. hr from bad brains 14. spin doctors 15. went to a party with pussy galore, jon spencer, helmet, jack endino, and members of sonic youth. they were all lame and smacked out, except for sonic youth. 16. went to barbeques with throwing muses 17. hung out on the beach with jim henson more than once 18. met zero mostel 19. chatted with reo speedwagon and served them ice cream 20. got a drink for jerry hall 21. my mom danced with ed asner at a wedding once 22. my dad is friends with joe lieberman that's the best i can do for now.

Oh I win, I win!! Met Clint Eastwood, had drinks with Mel Gibson, dinner with James Taylor, met Olivia Newton John for lunch and was blushingly speechless because she was my childhood hero, shook hands with four different Australian Prime Ministers, Hiliary Clinton was mean about my friend's suit when I briefly met her, Goldie Hawn, Russell Crowe, saw Nicole Kidman walk down the street and was struck by her beauty before I realised who she was, Jerry Lewis, recently met Tippi Hedren and embarrassed us both by asking her about a movie role someone else played, Diana Ross, Michael Crawford, Prince Charles, Princess Diana who ranks as the most incredible woman I've ever seen, when I was a child Mother Theresa patted me on the head and told my mother I looked like an angel, went on a boat cruise with the guy who played something on Gilligan's Island um... But the strange thing is, there isn't one of them I'd rather have sitting on my verandah for a drink than the few brave souls I love. Of course, I haven't met Johnny Depp....yet ;)

i left out the whole thing about me living in an apartment underneath the drummer for butthole surfers. but i don't think it will raise my standing much out of the rock-bottom, dead last position. it's ok, though. i just bought coffee and sardines. life is good.

joan jett looks hotter than ever these days. phewwwwww. I think all mid age hipsters who have lived in california for more than 30 years have met or hung with Brubeck. thats so cool

joan jett is incredibly short. she's probably under five feet tall. and very nice, very genuine. she was one of my favorite celebrity meetings.

my indirect stories about other people's celebrities: my friend used to hang out with the ex-wife of the reo speedwagon singer in prague. my friend used to date the husband of the SCM singer dave used to date. they were young and anorexic, and apparently they used to get together and not eat. later on whenever I was out with her and she would see him, she'd hiss, "EVIL MAN, EVIL MAN!" my friend had dinner with peter buck at his house. I asked if it was in a gated community, and he said no, but it does have a gate. one of my boyfriend's band's songs is going to be used on mtv's "road rules" on monday. I guess I'll have to watch it. last night I dressed up and played singer's girlfriend at a show. I stood close to the stage, wearing a leather miniskirt, and after the set I sold CDs and asked people to sign up for the mailing list. but then I ran away to the crazy hot dog place a couple doors down and ate 7-11 style nachos and played pinball and put guns 'n' roses on the old wurlitzer jukebox.

did you go to shorty's, cyst?

yeah. it was like a horror movie about a carnival. I loved it.

um... let's see... My mom met Shirley Temple at age 35 (shirley temple that is). My mom's guy friend dated James Hetfield's sister. Got to hang out with the band one night after a show. I worked with Lance Goodman at my Grandfather's Pub and went to high school with his sister. Bill Walsh winked at me as he passed me in the hall while he was scouting for recruits at my high school. I sat next to Chelsea Clinton in the restaurant that my husband used to manage in Palo Alto, CA. I can't really think of anymore....

Ozzy,Lee Marvin,Moon and Townsend,Alice Cooper,Fee Waybill,The Guess Who (God bless the Canucks,they kept the bathtub full of beer).Three Dog Night,I was only 15,Chuck Negron raped me,I was on acid. Humble Pie,Jeff Beck,Dave Barry,I can sober up and think of more.Crimson,psychiic sisters,Robert Plant grabbed my left tit on that tour.Their very first.Love,J

I forgot to mention that I am related to the man who was teh voice of the Grand Ole Opry back in teh 60s and also to the person who played "Sweet Pea" in the movie "Popeye."

The James Gang,Iron Butterfly,Cactus(the drummer Carman use to be in Vanilla Fudge and went on to drum for Rod Stewart).Richie Havens

Ooh, I forgot some. My grandfather grew up in the house where Aaron Burr lived. I met Jane Yolen at a book signing. Olivier Dunrea (children's author) was a teacher of mine. Vincent DiFiore, the trumpet player in the band Cake, is my third cousin (his grandfather and my grandfather -- both named Vincent DiFiore -- are first cousins). Just so you know, there are 6 or 7 Vincent DiFiores in my family. The youngest is the Cake Vincent's baby boy. Corita Kent, a nun who was famous in the Boston area for some of her artwork, is a cousin of mine on my grandmother's side. I had an email correspondence going with Eli Janney and Alexis Fleisig of Girls Against Boys. My brother's band has a substantial following in the area. Agatha is the coolest.

how was mexico cyst? welcome back.

I'm a direct decendent of Leif Erikson

mexico was nice. seattle's having a beautiful indian summer. I don't know if I'll be able to keep up here. I was busy all weekend revising that essay (about my experiences in kiev) I submitted to that book (about expatriate life). but I guess it was worth all the work because today I got a reply from the publisher: "Wow! Nice work... I love the drama and tone of the new version and would definitely like to include it in the book. I will get back to you later this week with editorial comments, but for now, I just wanted to let you know that it was a pleasure to read..." too bad writing is about as fun as fixing a toilet.

further.....anthologies don't pay shit either.

I bet most published novelists don't really get paid shit for their time, either. there is not much money in publishing. I've taken two vacation days to work on the essay, so it has actually cost me money. but, hey, having an essay with a bunch of others in a book put out by a small, independent publisher -- that kind of fame will make it all worth it. actually, the personal validation is pretty cool.

vanity publishing will die with the continuing growth of internet. look at this site for example. ok maybe there are only 10 people who ever read it and those ten people are nobodys but one day an important person may stumble upon your words and it may set off a chain of thort that affects the way they do things. that person may become the president and may set off a global war because he remembers the internet stuff that he read when he was a kid at high school. that means that you are responsible for changing history. we need a website devoted to wayout stuff so that our future president can see what we kids really think

What's a chain of thort? That's some mighty fine reasoning there, Jambo.

your sure got a lot to say for a nobody Jambo