so fellow sorabjites... i am moving to new york (cross your fingers) in may and i will need a roommate. if anyone has any leads please let me know. i will make it worth your time (i have a never-before-seen nude picture of that special sorabjite you've all been wanting to see naked).

Unless it's Cat or Sem (or that Bell_jar chick), I can't be bothered with it. Wait. No. Do you have a naked picture of Mark Thomas?

Ah, I do wish I could help. I could probably dredge up someone, but there'd be no quality guarantees.

Tom, if I wasn't such a refined lady, I'd fucking smack you around the chops for that. No, ok, I'm lying. I'd be insulted if you didn't want to see me naked. Not that...anyway...I'm raving now. Amanda, why don't you shack up with Mark? He seems like he could use a college girl or two in his life. I just had a rum ball for lunch.

i think tom wants to see you naked. that and sem and bell_jar (amanda). tom is a fool, but whatever. i hope there will be another shot at the nakey pic though. my collection is growing: patrick patrick's wife isolde sem zephyr gee chordata dave. uhm, i hope i didn't forget anyone. if any of those are faked, i don't want to know. and i hope agatha isn't in trouble now. i was just reminded of a funny story involving chordata and a boat load of hispanic fishermen. i won't tell it though. SEND NAKEY PICTURES TO NATE.

how come nobody wants to see me naked? SHIT.

mark and a roommate. haaaaaaahaaaaaaaaaaaahaaaaaaaaaaaaaahah!

I notice your name wasn't on the list yet, Agatha, so don't complain. I only get naked in saunas, and weird hot tubs in Portland. Or If I am posing for nate's project.

bahaha! oh, those pics were part of a scheme, eh? i was naive enough to think they were erased long ago. i can never run for president now.

If I can see nekid pics,you can have my vote.

I guess my ass doesn't count Nate? I'll remember that.

actually, i forgot to put J on the list. i was thinking about it, but forgot to write it down. of course your ass counts.

J i wanna see the ass pic? and agatha, i would have expressed my desire to you nekid sometime ago if i didnt fear dave... he SOOOOO overbearing you know

and i hear he has a blue dick. weird.

I'm having trouble scannig stuff,I send it to documents,but can't e-mail it,so if Nate stills has it maybe he can send it to you,he has my permission,BUTT(HAHA),I did insert the fart sticker,I have some pride,not alot,but some.

Nate: You do linguistics programming, I believe -- ever hear of an outfit called Ejemoni Inc.? (www.ejemoni.com) They're in SF. Just curious.

i lied about the picture, but i don't feel so bad because no one had any suggestions.

You're going to hell, Amanda. You should know how seriously we take fraud involving nakey pictures around here. Anyway, on the subject of sharing abodes. My housesitter, Jules, is staying on for a while. Which is good. Kinda. I think. Except she's been reading the boards and wants to post to Sorabji. I've warned her that she'll go blind, but she's not heeding me.

ME.... Let me find a job there, and your all set I'll be out the door before you can say go... I'm serious, let me find a job on monster that is willing to take me and I'll be gone.

what's your email address mr. hal?

you're all going to hell, Cat. But I will be there to greet you. hell is Juno. Hell is life without the secretary in the blue dress. If she ever knew I had made her famous (infamous) on sorabji, she would stop altogether. Ah sue me for harrassment. Dave I couldn't get the ape.org addy I wanted but there is a new one rather primate like, and I didn't realize there were so many gorillas/ gorrillae in the online world. I still couldn't con-coct (no manipulative pun intended) the gorilla86@ape.org...which I wanted. Hey elf, where are you?

and if I ever finish this goddam PhD, I might be writing about the duplex ulterior transactional communications which exist in abundance here on this Mr. Thomas' Playhouse. But I won't finish, so don't fret about reading about yourself in the National Enquirer (where I get all my medical information Ms Czarina...because you read it there first). But I think the duplex ulterior transactional communication thesis is a great idea. What the hell am I talking about? Don't move to New York Amanda without stopping off in Missouri. It's on your way you know.

Well,I've been known to have an inquiring mind,on an occasion or two...............

Amanda, you can find me and aquire contact with me at hal2@mindless.com... So people please write, call, fax, or email, any questions you might have for our service desk. Thank you and have a nice day...

Amanda, you can find me and aquire contact with me at hal2@mindless.com So people please write, call, fax, or email, any questions you might have for our service desk. Thank you and have a nice day...

And then I go and double post... Damnit I need way more coffee in my system...

Amanda, I have no clue as to what vocation will be taking you to NY/or how much income you anticipate. But I STRONGLY SUGGEST -- no, I thump you on top of the head w/both fists & suggest -- living by yrself/if humanly possible/at least 'til you manage to populate yr life w/a few trustworthy friends. Even if you have to flatback to cover yr rent. Even if you have to sell crack on the corner. Even if you have to cash in yr Roth IRA/or sell yr uncle's mint-condition '54 300SL gull-wing coupe that yr Dad promsied to yr yougner brother. Whatever. At least 'til you cultivate a small group of sincere friends. NYC if full of amazing/wonderful people. And posers & prohets w/endlessly interesting chatter who will never have their half of the rent on time. And strange-but-harmless creatures that will drain all the energy from you. And closet addicts. And irresponsible/co-dependent lunatics who will make you crazy. And absolute bastards you wd not hesitate to slice open w/a rusty letter-opened given half a chance -- if you can find them after they move in w/you solely to steal yr identity/run up credit card bills in yr name/then evaporate into the steam from the subway grates. Not to mention the bullies/trash & general sharks. Folks like His Markness w/apartments big enuf to fit a piano & neighbors who don't complain abt his practicing are making rather a good living in order to afford all that breathing room. Finding decent people you can bond w/& trust takes time no matter where you are. But in NY it takes a bit longer. And there are lots more predators to avoid while you're in the process. Translation: There is NOTHING more stressful than hooking up w/someone you don't really know/signing a lease/then getting stuck w/$1700 a month nut to crack when they split on you/or you have to kick them out to stop yrself from shooting them. Read "Slaves of New York" before you go. I'm not a Tama Janowitz fan/but she wasn't far from the mark in terms of what folks will do to find & keep a decent crib in NYC. I have a good friend that I haven't spoken to since Aug. becuz I got sick of her calling me every nite @ 1 a.m. & bitching for 4 or 5 hrs. abt what new insane thing her asshole roommate had done. Including-but-not-limited-to moving a Rottweiler puppy into his bedroom room w/out telling her (& she had 2 cats at the time!). Not to mention the various-&-sundry chickenhead bitches he used to bring home & fuck while she was at work who didn't bother to clean up the bathroom behind themselves. (DON'T ask!) And they fights he had w/them that brought the neighbors out into the halls & a nasty letter from the management co. This was her 5th roomate since I moved from NY to FL in '95. (She & I were never roommates.) The one from the summer was a guy/after I'd warned her & she'd sworn she wdn't let some strange man move in w/her. Only 1 of the 5 roomates she's had in 5 yrs. turned out to be a sane/responsible/ decent person. And she moved back to Cali/which sent my friend back to running ads in the Voice & the conducting interviews/all of which only lead to crossing her fingers & hoping the next person wd work out. And this was an intelligent, 46 yr-old divorcee w/PLENTY of street-savvy. I finally started screening my calls/not answering when it as her/& not calling her back. Not becuz I don't love her or didn't care abt her problems. But I just cdn't take it any more drama. You shd also consider living in Brooklyn or Queens rather than Manhattan proper. The People's Republic of Brooklyn has lots going on & many interesting neighborhoods. Bklyn's not cheap/but it's considerably less pricey than anywhere in Manhattan. And the subway's run around the clock. Having said all that/you shd definitely go for it. I think everyone shd live somewhere in the 5 boroughs of NY for at least 1 year of their lives. It's the most interesting city on earth. (But I'm glad I'm not living there anymore.)

Or, you can move in with a person who doesn't know a damned thing about New York, and learn your own way... Ok, so I can't tell you if he's right, but damnit I need to get out of this state, and darling, this is an opertunity for me to do so.

that he is a she. best bets for cheap rent are astoria/long island city in queens, red hook/sunset park in brooklyn, manhattan above the 120's, and the south bronx. you could try hooking up with the last good deals on the other side of the hudson, but the pickings are pretty damn slim. ever since wall street spilled across the river into downtown jersey city, most of the neighborhoods around here have been gentrified. subsequently, rent has skyrocketed from reasonable to fucking ridiculous... but if you can find a deal, it's a commuter's wet dream if you work in downtown manhattan. takes me 25 minutes to get from my front door to my office in soho. try doing that from brooklyn or queens. i'm probably gonna end up buying this place. anyway, regardless of where you decide to live- if you use a rental agency, always assume your apartment broker is a fucking crook. bait and switch is pretty typical, and getting your security deposit back can be a nightmare. i'd suggest renting directly from an owner if at all possible. do lots of research. know your rights. carry a big stick. good luck.

by the way, i was only kidding about the south bronx being a "best bet". back in the 80's the south bronx was dubbed "the worst neighborhood in america." chances are you'll still get slumped on a good day in the boogie down. don't get shanked.

I've got family living in Brooklyn, its really not that bad. Could be worse by any means. Anyway, Sorry R.C. little tired when I responded last night, couldn't quite see straight, or gender specific either... Sorry...

I left upstate NY in 1969. I last spent time in NYC in 1968. Today, I only visit the airports when heading over the big water, and I will do my damnest to fly direct from StL to ? in order to avoid those placepits. It is not my kind of place, for all the reasons Swine mentioned. I think the someplaces are safer, but here is the reality: In a quiet suburb of StLouis, I have had a drought dried bank of high honeysuckle set on fire and, in a second attempt, my van burned out in my driveway, when I was working for a non union friendly corporation; I have had death threats from clients who aren't even mine; I have had the windshield shot out on my old VW convertible while driving I270 in the swankiest part of the burbs; and I have had a high profile prominent and wanted, violent rapist, now incarcerated (at least for the time), stalk a cotherapist; and right now, I have to put up with the meth cooks with high powered rifles running schizo in my woods (they don't even know whose woods these are). And this is Saint Louis. But this is my job. And both are safer than the Big Apple. Not that safety anywhere can't be a problem...try the southside of Chicago or the east side of St Louis in broad daylight... but in NYC, the lack of it for even the initiated IS a given. I used to be a pretty visible, high profile guy. But then I had kids and began to worry for them, as the clientele with whom I struggle are not the safest bunch of criminals. That's when I began to ensure that NO ONE knew where I lived, where my kids went to school, when I came or went, what I drove or when or where. I'm just a counselor who sometimes deals with crazies. But I don't live with them. Truth is, the fire started from a cigarette perhaps. The van burned from an electrical short. The gunshot was actually a stone from nearby blasting. The death threats were harmless statements. The stalking was of my co therapist, not me, though the guy was my client. Safety/ reality is what we make it. The meth cooks are real though. And RC has some very good points. Listen to those who are there. And, by all means, live alone. If you gotta carry a big stick, make it an automatic with a large clip. Profess violence in any form is unacceptable, and trust in god, but lock your door at night. Sorry for ranting so long.

...yet so eloquently...

Daniel... Well I must admit, you just scared the piss out of me... But thats because it has been a shitty day... Acctually you know whats funny, right now where I live was professed by a national study (and Time magazine, if anyone cared) to have the largest level of methanphetamines per capita than any where else in the world. But then again in Billings, Montana the So2 level is the highest in the world so its pretty much safer to smoke than breath here... Thats life in Montanta for you.

i was thinking..... while i watching a news program about the old famous fish market in the south eastern tip of manhatten...how all the wall street yuppies have started moving in, shopping strips, gap, A&F etc have all moved in and now they are complaining of the smell and want to move the market upstream. ANYWAY.... its kinda of a shame, and Im seeing this happen in LA too.... the whitewashing of americas culture with nouveu riche moolaa...... i stood in front of the Ambassador hotel the other night with a friend, outside a bar, for a smoke, looking at this gorgeous old hotel where RFK got blown away. There is a chain link fence around it, developers want to pave over it, there is a sign with an 800# that says "FILM HERE". what a waste...legal injunctions by presevationist have stalled the developers long enough...but eventually it will give. no shame! in atlanta, i hear of it from my relatives.... recently the city lost the Stein Club. a fantastic old watering hole in mid-town known for housing leftist, neighborhood yahoos and easy going people in general. they had the greatest jukebox in the city man. MLK and other civil rights leaders were known to have coordinated their actions in this place from time to time. Jimmy Carter was known to stop in when he was governor, before president... Stein Club.....gone....Condos..... no shame. The Mission District on San Fran.....same thing.... Are you seeing this in your city? Gentrification? I read recently, that the number of millionaires on Wall Street doubled in the last year. What normally would take 20 years to do, Wall street did in one... Is the new money white washing your town?

In Sarasota it's old (trans: retired) mid-western $$ that's crushing the life out of downtown. Richfolks living in high rises 2 miles away who complain abt the "noise". Like they can really hear music from the street when they're 20 stories up! Let 'em close their fucking windows! There was an open-air burger-&-beer stand the locals called The Brickyard. (Don't ask me why -- the area's paved in cobblestone/not brick.) It was right in the middle of Maint St. (only the hickest of hick towns ever has a Main St.) & a pretty cool place to hang out on Fri. or Sat. nite just 2 years ago. The guy leasing it didn't own the benches on the sidwewalk/just the grill & fridge & soda fountain. He wasn't paying for a lot of space w/seating so low overhead for him meant low prices for customers. On the weekends/there was almost always live music in front of the burger stand in the afternoon & into the nite -- sometimes just 1 person on an acoustic guitar/sometimes small amplified bands. (No mimes tho/thank god!) But you cd get a decent burger & a brew for under $6.00/listen to some usually half-assed but generally not too bad musicians/& chill after work. Day-laborers (usually guys/but also the occasional female/who temp at constructions jobs & get paid on-the-spot at the end of their shift) used to hang out there becuz the bus depot was down the street. High school kids. The homeless. Toursits on a budget who didn't have $7.50 to spend on a sandwhich at one of the proper restaurants. The usual working-stiffs just looking to relax & enjoy the Florida sunshine after a hard day's work. I didn't hang there a lot but I passed the place a million times on Sat. nites & I never saw anyone get shot or knifed or even a fight. (Altho' I'm sure the occasional bout of fisticuffs did happen. Main St. has half a dozen bars in a 4 block stretch.) The rich old bastards overlooking the bay in their highrise at the end of Main St. complained to the city & got the Brickyard closed down. It opened up again a few mos. ago. But w/the ordinance they managed to pass banning street musicians/it's not the same. Believe me/this town isn't known for it's nightlife. But I don't understand why rich old farts who can afford to live wherever they want don't move to Sietsa Key or Longboat or one of the ritzier neighboring towns that *has* no downtown. The working-class people they're so scared to be around downtown are the same people who mow their lawns & fix their cars & lay their imported file floors. Downtowns are supposed to be open to everyone/whether they're spending $$ like a fiend or just chillin' on a bench. I remember when they fucking Disneyfied Times Square under Guliani a few years back. You cd christen yr kid in the middle of 42nd St. now. The hookers & freaks & porno movies were the WHOLE REASON people went to Times Square -- it was a free freak show every nite of the week! Hookers & crackheads gotta live too. Don't they have a right to enjoy the streets at nite as much as anybody? [And Wall St. millionaires don't really count. A year from now/half of them will be broke. Look at at all the dotcom millionaires who are scrounging for jobs now. If Saul & Gayfryd Steinberg cd end up broke/anybody in NY can.]

hello?

i hear ya...they are "times-squarin" Hollywood Blvd as we speak, and Disney has an integral part in it all. People who come here come to see the wig shops, pron shops, slutwear shops and all the other seedy elements of hollywood blvd. its a drag, we have lost a few good bars and shops along the way to make room for Crate and Barrel, Gap and all the other shit. Old Town Pasadena is the same way.....renowned for its jazz clubs, Old Town had a face lift ...and all the old clubs, 5 & Dimes are gone. It looks like a mall.

We've got a hotel here in Billings, The Raddison Northern. Its been around since the city was built which if I remember my history right was around the late 1800's( But I'm probably wrong it was probably earlier ) anyway, this hotel is old... I mean its had its face lifts here and there, but alot of the old structure is still left. Well they are thinking of selling out to this Cali based corp. And the corp wants to demolish it and put of their own building. Fuckers have no sense of historical significance.

They wanna kill the Raddison? Damn. Billings has no soul left, if it ever had any.

Route 66 thru town (St Louis) became known for its fifty's deco auto motels turned no tell and later by the hour architectual gems in one room flats with an attached garage so you wouldn't have to be seen moving from car to room....the most famous of which was the Coral Gables, a pink cement block and block glass art deco jewel that the bastards -- despite preservationists' injunctions, the lobbying of biker born route 66ers, and local townspeople's outcries --torn down for a damn supermarket and strip mall to "revitalize" the area. Some of the cheeap roadside atttractions still exist along Watson Rd (66) but there're no gems left, and microbreweries and Pier 1 and Sports Authority seem to have taken root. Still there is Papa John Legba's voodoo shop "direct from Haiti" where 'psychics predict by voodoo get result' remains the standard fare. May be the Bosnians moving into the area living 25 to 30 humans in a one bedrm apt can bring the area back to its pre-wrecking ball charm.

Nahh, see TBone thats what I like about Missoula, the've got some old shit out there that people are realizing rules because its old... I'm a little pissed about the Griz Bowl thing though, did you hear they are putting in astroturf instead of the signiture mud/grass stuff. Billings is signing every damn thing off, like West is thinking of removing the rock. WHAT THE HELL IS THAT ABOUT???? That and its just the beurocrats, and bussiness men. No its some of the kids in highschool, man things have changed, it seems like my class got out ( only 1 year after yours ) and all hell broke loose... Hell kids don't even bother vandalizing the other highschools in town the just get their own HardCORE... But I'd like it to be blamed on the bussinesses please because well, I'm just to damn close to these kids' age that it feels awkward... You know?

The rock. Forgot about that damned thing. Why the hell would they remove it? It's the entire basis for the High-school class hierarchy. The seniors will only find something else to beat the freshmen for. I forgot about that shit. Wow. That seemed so logical back then... Glad that's behind me. Missoula rocks it up. Ugh. Wallmart here is just ACHING to become one of those Big-Ass(tm) WalMart Worlds. People are fighting it hard. They keep putting signs up at the entrance telling people how shitty it will be. Those things are disgusting. From what I hear, the Billiweenies love theirs. That's typical. But even here, there are always plenty of cars in the WalMart lot. Mall Drug is way better. Sideshows. We still have rockin' little places like The Good Food Store and The Orange Street Food Farm. Places that would die a quick death in a place like Billings. Time to make some bombs. My mind is wandering. Concentrate Concentrate Concentrate

The superwalmart here is getting set to open. Already the oldest supermarket in town has closed. Every one is excited about it though, because it means jobs.

Doesn't make much sense... Just trades existing jobs for jobs at walmart. Although I guess they do hire an ungoldly large number of people... I refuse to enter a super WalMart without significant explosives... But then, my reasons aren't entrirely logical, either. And by "refuse" I mean "I'd rather not" It's this weak back of mine.

TBone... May I suggest in my extreamly hungover state that you NOT build explosives with out at least 3 pots of good coffee... The WalMarts in Billings did just that, the've killed buissiness for Albersons, and County Market. The other two are trying so hard, but they can't compete with 18 eggs for 1.50. I still shop at albertsons or county market. Just because I hate the evil that is WalMart. And you remember when it was small and not a super wal mart... Well now its fucking huge, and then they go and decide that we need on in the heights too... So the go and jut build the super Wal Mart out there too... And when you look at them, they are identical, except the on in the heights isn't open yet so it looks dead. No people, cars, screaming babies, people you want dead for no other reason then carnage. Well TBone, found some use for the thermite... WALMARTS ACROSS AMERICA TOUR...heh heh heh

i live close to wal-mart's international headquarters. for most people around here, cutting down wal-mart is like cutting down jesus christ himself. it's just not done. there are people (like my folks) who can get positively misty-eyed about wal-mart. it's tied in w/ patriotism & wholesome american values. wal-mart is one of the ultimate purveyors of cheeseball flag-waving sentiment. the few people who DO cut down wal-mart still shop there faithfully. their stockholders' conventions are held just down the road. when they have their conventions, they hire major country acts & give the stockholders blimp rides. it's a really big deal. the whole area grinds to a halt for this shameless orgy of wal-mart worship. anyway, my husband, as a teenager, worked for wal-mart. when he left home at 17 & moved to california, everybody thought he was totally insane to leave his job at wal-mart behind. "you can't do better than working at wal-mart," they told him, advising him to keep that job for life. the locals thought he'd already hit his zenith in life because he'd been employed by sam walton unloading trucks in the blazing summer heat for minimum wage. he told them there was more to life than wal-mart. nobody understood. they still don't. almost all of those people are dead now. they stayed w/ wal-mart & worked themselves into heart attacks by age 40. there was a running joke going around about how being a wal-mart manager is a ticket to an early grave. it's no joke. the hell of it is, i live close to a super wal-mart & the thing's open 24/7. almost nothing else is regionally. my husband doesn't even get off work until after midnight & there are times when we've just had to run over there & pick something up. so we've patronized satan. what a special feeling.

That would take a hell of a lot of thermite... wouldn't be practical. diesel/fertilizer bomb would work better. Only problem is, we'd have to find a way to evacuate them first... I'm not that into mass murder.

Yeah, we are, technically, in the Belly of the Beast....I avoid it whenever I can....but sometimes you just can't....in certain respects it REALLY IS the only game in town, Which is, of course, the truly diabolical thing about Wal-Mart....sooner or later it BECOMES the only game in town.

Nahh TBone, some of those super WalMarts have liquid oxygen tanks... All we'd need would be a thermite cap and a small pipe bomb... but your right about the people thing.. Well we could get the one in the heights now, its not open yet.

Yeah, preventative measures.

i would say to get the other one on christmas because they close then... But its christmas I just couldn't do that.

I practically LIVE @ WalMart. (she said/ducking under the desk to avoid being pelted w/lord-knows-what) It's the only place I can go & get 90% of my shopping done @ 1am w/out standing in line forever. Including picking up some underwear if I don't feel like doing laundry. Try doing THAT @ Grand Union or Pathmark or Winn Dixie in the middle of the nite. I FUCKING LOVE WALMART! It's 5 min. from my house. There's a SuperWalmart 20 min. away that has foodstuffs/but I can't see myself buying groceries @ Walmart. It usually takes stops @ 3 different grocery stores to get my food shopping done. Plus/from what I hear/they supersize EVERYTHING @ the Supe-WalMart. I'd have to buy 16 rolls of toilet paper/or a case of Fresca/all at once. Too many storage issues... I wdn't want to work there/but I truly do not lament the loss of smaller stores w/less selection & less convenient hours due to the proliferation of WalMarts everywhere. And you can't beat their prices. Sometimes bigger IS better.

True enough, and they do sell something in larger bulk but one thing I will give WalMart is the fact that their food store has everything, and everything is way cheaper... Unless of course you want to buy super bulk for super cheap and then you go to Costco... They fucking rule... You know how it cost you like 15 bucks at a resturant to buy filet mignone ( I know I can't spell worth crap ), anyway you can buy six of them at costco for 12 bucks... It rules

I love Costco,just what I save on rolling papers alone is worth the price of a Costco card,I like Sam's club too.And some things like the papers I buy in bulk,like toilet paper and laundry soap.

you know i rarely plug commercial establishments...BUT last night, the wife tried the homegrocer.com deal....she was sick and i couldnt be home yesterday to get groceries. im impressed! the lettuce was greener and fuller than the regular market or trader joes, the onions bigger, the bread sweeter and actually prices were cheaper. maybe it's all an illusion for the first order, but damn if i won't use them again. has anyone else tried these people? oh and J...you kill me, you really really really kill me.

Never tried it but can't down something till I try it... And J, where in gods name did you find rolling papers at Costco. Hell I have enough friends who could use those that I could make a fourtune selling them.

I hate capitalism. Because I really can't complain about Walmart. I can; they're despicable. They size up a town like pirates; they price and market for the sole purpose of destroying local businesses. But they are cheap, and they do have everything. Unless you like atmosphere in a store. There will never be incense burning in a WalMart. Nor crazy hippie ladies behind the counter. It's like shopping at McDonalds. But it gets the job done.

Shopping at McDonalds. Three am. I want breakfast and a milk shake. Sorry, can't have a milk shake until the burger time rolls around. Switch and bait. never eat the "fish" there. this is tiring. Who can do this?