i really do. she gets married in october. i want to sing. my own song. first let's get this straight, not a sappy-love-happy-wedding-lala song. a song to her, really. my only sister and we are finally growing up. it could very well be a miserable failure. i've never written an entire real song that turned out the way i wanted. this is probably a bad idea. but i wanna. she and i, we are opposite and the same. we fought constantly. viciously. neither of us have bad feelings about it though, we both know that we were acting out, and working out our frustration, and just plain being primal. it should be part like that- a little visceral. a little reflective. i started writing words. sem said maybe someone would help me if i posted them. so email me if you could and would. feel free to make disparaging remarks. maybe it will be funny, maybe you'll be right. or maybe just follow with words you would sing to someone important the only line i know for sure... baby i want a baby looks just like you

Huh?

Congratulations, Agent D, on your first intelligible remark! Heather, can you provide any fodder for the lyrical cannon - names, places, dates...

Bobby -Shaddup!

Bobby, I am trying to ruin Heather's sister wedding. It's no fun to see a bride and a groom walking down the aisle.Of course one of them just farted!

jesus heather, you got balls. i keep thinking of when Ottoman proposes to his girlfriend and he plays "Every Rose Has it's Thorn" through a boom box. sorry if that seems belittling...its just what comes to mind. unlike nate and the isle farting bit. you expected that i suppose.

By Nate on Tuesday, April 3, 2001 - 06:42 am: yeah, that wasn't me.

um. explain the balls part. because i actually posted that? [yeh, i don't know what i was thinking, i always keep stuff like that to myself. but it's true] because i want to write a dorky song for my sister? [can hardly believe it myself] because i actually want to sing it in front of my family and friends? [i've already done that a lot, it won't suprise them] and i knew it wasn't nate. even if he had something sarcastic to say it would make more sense than that. don't worry. there will be no more sharing. i'm finished.

four years ago a friend of mine threw himself a fake wedding (long, sad story). me and some other guys wrote a song and performed it at the ceremony. i can't remember it too well now, but part of it involved the wedding march from lohengrin in power chords.

give us more. dammit. i also want to hear about the fake wedding.

Yeah, I dont think you can get away with just a quarter of the story Mister.

oh poop heather don't crap out so easily. i said you have balls to a) write an original song and b) to get up and sing it presumably accapello in front of family and friends. please share more shit like this....christ, god knows everyone has had their fill of "nate and patrick show" it's time you started opening up. but don't post something, scurry under the couch, and then run home skitishly when you don't get the responses you wanted. we'll get there eventually.

it's not about responses i just don't like sharing the point was that i don't want it to be a capella. that's why i need help. even if i tell you all the words you won't get it. there basically all inside information [like, 'you'd look better bald'], which maybe makes it a bad idea.

so what do you want from us again?

she wants music. like a looped sample of rabid donkeys having sex over funk organs set to a hip-hop beat at 105 bpm. y'know. something touching.

I think the worst song I've ever heard as the opening song at a reception is "(k?)nights in white satin" by the moody blues." the first part is ok for slow dancing, I guess, but the happy couple got a little flustered at "cold-hearted orb that rules the night." nine years, 150 pounds, two dogs, four birds, and two smelly trailers later, they're still together, though!

writing a song for someone is an incredible act. i've written a couple of songs for people & it's a very intense process. it takes real nerve to open yourself up creatively like that on someone else's behalf. no matter what you end up writing, it'll be better than what happened at my wedding, where there was no choice in music allowed. the regular organist got sick & they brought in some anemic looking chick who could only play a couple of songs by the carpenters & a really rough version of the theme to "ice castles". i was rather young & dopey & didn't complain about the fact that i felt the music more or less wrecked the ceremony. it's just part of the reason that when i remarried many years later, i opted for no ceremony at all & had the marriage license signed by a reverend from the Church of the SubGenius. above all, do something from the heart. something hopelessly, wonderfully original.