winders


sorabji.com: What do you want?: winders
By droopy on Friday, November 30, 2001 - 02:23 pm:

    from the same guy as the other one. this is for sarah. (i'm supposed to have dinner with my mother and sister tonight. today i got an email from my mother reading: remember the alamo. remember dinner tonight.)


    Dear Customers:

    It has come to our attention that a few copies of the WINDOWS 98 TEXAS EDITION may have accidentally been shipped outside of TEXAS.
    If you have one of these, you may need some help understanding the commands.

    The TEXAS edition may be recognized by the unique opening screen.
    It reads:WINDERS 98, with a background picture of Sam Houston superimposed on a Texas flag. It is shipped with a Remember the Alamo screen saver.

    Please also note:
    The Recycle Bin is labeled "Outhouse"
    My Computer is called "This Dern Contraption"
    Dial up Networking is called "Good Ol' Boys"
    Control Panel is known as "The Dashboard"
    Hard Drive is referred to as "4 Wheel Drive"
    Floppies are "them little ol plastic disc thangs"
    Instead of an error message a
    "garbage bag and roll of duct tape" pops up.

    CHANGES IN TERMINOLOGY IN TEXAS EDITION:
    OK . . . . . . . .ats aw-right
    Cancel . . . . . .stopdat
    Reset . . . . . . try er agin
    Yes . . . . . . . yep
    No . . . . . . . .noop
    Find . . . . . . .hunt fer it
    Go to. . . . . . .over yonder
    Back . . . . . . .back yonder
    Help . . . . . . .hep me out here
    Stop . . . . . . .kwitit
    Start . . . . . . crank er up
    Settings . . . . .settins
    Programs . . . . .stuff at duz stuff
    Documents . . . . stuff ah done did

    TEXAS EDITION does not recognize capital letters or punctuation marks.
    Some programs that are exclusive to Winders 98:
    Tiperiter . . . . . . .A word processing program
    colerin book . . . . . a graphics program
    cyferin marsheen . . . calculator
    outhouse paper . . . . notepad
    iner-net . . . . . . . Microsoft Explorer 5.0
    pichers . . . . . . . .A graphics viewer
    We regret any inconvenience it may have caused if you received a copy of the TEXAS EDITION.
    You may return it to Microsoft for a replacement version if ya want.

    I hope this helps all y'all!
    signed: Billy Bob Gates


By sarah on Monday, December 10, 2001 - 01:12 pm:


    how did i miss this when you first posted it? that's real funny.

    so get this. i actually find myself saying "fixing to", like right now i'm fixing to go to hawaii for a coupla weeks. people back home are going to wonder about all this lingo i've picked up.




By droopy on Monday, December 10, 2001 - 02:45 pm:

    i know. it's like a virus.


By JusMiceElf on Monday, December 10, 2001 - 03:01 pm:

    I'm feeling you there...not only have I picked up fixing to, but my sweetie and I use might could and might should all the time now, and this after only a week or so's exposure to my Austin friends (and their adorable redheaded baby) this summer.


By sarah on Monday, December 10, 2001 - 03:04 pm:


    i mean.




By Antigone on Monday, December 10, 2001 - 05:12 pm:

    I'm fixin' ta whup yall's asses if ya don't shudap!


By sarah on Monday, December 10, 2001 - 05:35 pm:


    beg yer pardon. it's "all yall's".

    poser.





By droop on Monday, December 10, 2001 - 06:01 pm:

    i always thought there was somethin' not quite right about that boy.


By Antigone on Monday, December 10, 2001 - 06:22 pm:

    I ain't no poser. I've got about 150x the texas time that you've got, missy. Don't yew fergit it!

    Hula chula!


By semillama on Monday, December 10, 2001 - 09:26 pm:

    Then there is no hope.


By sarah on Tuesday, December 11, 2001 - 12:28 pm:


    you may have done more time in texas, little wrangler, but i bet i could ride a bull longer than you.

    uh, so to speak.

    AND i bet you don't have an authentic leopard print cowboy hat neither. so there.




By The Watcher on Tuesday, December 11, 2001 - 04:21 pm:

    Texas has always been unique. I believe it stems from the fact Texas used to be an independant country.

    When I was a programmer for an insurance company (long ago in a galaxy far far away) Texas was always the last state implemented. Their laws were so different from any other state.

    However, the language of Texas has spread to other states. New Mexico also can be found to use most if not all of the same phrases.

    Of course we here in the Baltimore area don't have to much to talk about. Some of the words and phrases we use would be indepsypherable (I know that's misspelled I forgot my glasses and everything is blurry) to most of the country.


By JOE KEwl on Wednesday, December 12, 2001 - 12:52 am:

    i want a big bag of money


By J on Wednesday, December 12, 2001 - 09:21 am:

    I sometimes say I'm fixing to go somewhere or do something, I picked it up from my father in law who was from Bulls Gap Tennessee,he was a sweet man,but quite the hillbilly.