they want to go home


sorabji.com: What do you want?: they want to go home
THIS IS A READ-ONLY ARCHIVE FROM THE SORABJI.COM MESSAGE BOARDS (1995-2016).

By Rowlf on Wednesday, July 16, 2003 - 06:25 pm:

    on one hand, i cant sympathize too much, after all, they ARE soldiers.. its part of the job... they shoulda known they could be there a long time, they coulda been lots of places for long periods of time at some point in their career...

    on the other hand, its incredibly sad that after all the people yelling at protesters saying its 'bad morale' to protest the war, to see the troops themselves low morale is coming from actually being there thanks to the warmongers...

    what say you? should they be shutting their holes promptly?

    U.S. Soldiers Complain of Low Morale in Iraq


    Reuters
    Wednesday, July 16, 2003; 10:24 AM
    By Sue Pleming

    WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Fed up with being in Iraq and demoralized by their role as peacekeepers in a risky place, a group of U.S. soldiers aired their plight on U.S. television on Wednesday and said they had lost faith in the Army.

    Told several times they would be going home only to have their hopes dashed this week, a small group of soldiers from the 3rd Infantry Division in Iraq, spoke of poor morale and disillusionment with Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld.

    "If Donald Rumsfeld were here, I'd ask him for his resignation," one disgruntled soldier told ABC's "Good Morning America" show.

    Asked by a reporter what his message would be for Rumsfeld, one said: "I would ask him why we are still here. I don't have any clue as to why we are still in Iraq."

    About 146,000 U.S. troops are serving amid mounting security threats in postwar Iraq. The death toll has now equaled the number killed in the 1991 Gulf War.

    Sgt. Filipe Vega, said they had expected to return home soon after the fall of Baghdad on April 9. "We were told the fastest way back home is through Baghdad and that's what we did. Now we are still here," he complained.

    The 3rd Infantry Division was the first U.S. unit to enter Baghdad after driving through southern Iraq through Kuwait.

    Sgt. Terry Gilmore described a phone call with his wife Stacey when he told her he would not be coming home soon.


    "When I told her she started crying and I almost started crying. I just felt like my heart was broken. I could not figure out...how they could keep us here after they told us we were coming home."

    In Washington, a Pentagon spokeswoman said she understood the frustration, but said morale was still high. "It's obviously a frustrating situation for some of them, but it does not represent the entire 3rd Division."

    She added: "When you get down to the individual soldier level, you can clearly see the dedication."

    The wives of two of the soldiers appeared on the same show. "Just send my husband home -- send all the soldiers home. They have done the job they were supposed to do," said Rhonda Vega from Hinesville, Georgia.

    Stacey Gilmore said U.S. troops were ill-prepared for the post-war phase. "They were told after the fighting ended they were coming home. All I know is that morale is low and they are just hanging in there, sticking through it." ((Writing by Sue Pleming, editing by Jackie Frank; Reuters Messaging Sue.Pleming.reuters.com@reuters.net)


By Rowlf on Wednesday, July 16, 2003 - 06:28 pm:

    I wonder if any of these soldiers will use this press opportunity to speak against Bushs opposition of raising the soldiers' families' "sorry you're hubbys dead" fund





    A Big Letdown
    Soldiers Learn They’ll Be in Baghdad Longer Than Expected

    By Jeffrey Kofman



    F A L L U J A H, Iraq, July 16— The sergeant at the 2nd Battle Combat Team Headquarters pulled me aside in the corridor. "I've got my own 'Most Wanted' list," he told me.


    He was referring to the deck of cards the U.S. government published, featuring Saddam Hussein, his sons and other wanted members of the former Iraqi regime.

    "The aces in my deck are Paul Bremer, Donald Rumsfeld, George Bush and Paul Wolfowitz," he said.

    He was referring to the four men who are running U.S. policy here in Iraq — the four men who are ultimately responsible for the fate of U.S. troops here.

    Those four are not popular at 2nd BCT these days. It is home to 4,000 troops from the 2nd Brigade of the Army's 3rd Infantry Division. The soldiers were deployed to Kuwait last September. They were among the first troops in Baghdad during the war. And now they've been in the region longer than other troops: 10 months and counting.

    They were told they'd be going home in May. Then in early July. Then late July. Then last week they heard that Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld had mentioned them on Capitol Hill.

    "The 2nd Brigade is — the plan is that they would return in August, having been there something like 10 months," said Rumsfeld.

    He added: "The services and the Joint Staff have been working with Central Command to develop a rotation plan so that we can, in fact, see that we treat these terrific young men and young women in a way that's respectful of their lives and their circumstances."

    Solid words from a solid source. Soldiers called their families. Commanding officers began preparations.

    ‘I Don’t Care Anymore’

    Now comes word from the Pentagon: Not so fast.

    The U.S. military command in Iraq said Tuesday it plans to complete the withdrawal of the Army's 3rd Infantry Division by September, but officials said they could make no hard promises because of the unsettled state of security in Baghdad and elsewhere in Iraq.

    "If Donald Rumsfeld were sitting here in front of us, what would you say to him?" I asked a group of soldiers who gathered around a table, eager to talk to a visiting reporter.

    "If he was here," said Pfc. Jason Punyahotra, "I would ask him why we're still here, why we've been told so many times and it's changed."

    In the back of the group, Spc. Clinton Deitz put up his hand. "If Donald Rumsfeld was here," he said, "I'd ask him for his resignation."

    Those are strong words from troops used to following orders. They say they will continue to do their job, but they no longer seem to have their hearts in the mission.

    "I used to want to help these people," said Pfc. Eric Rattler, "but now I don't really care about them anymore. I've seen so much, you know, little kids throwing rocks at you. Once you pacify an area, it seems like the area you just came from turns bad again. I'd like this country to be all right, but I don't care anymore."


    Wondering Why

    What they care about is their families. Sgt. Terry Gilmore had to call his wife, Stacey, this week to her that he wouldn't be home in a few weeks to see her and their two little children.

    "When I told her, she started crying," Gilmore said, his eyes moistening. "I mean, I almost started crying. I felt like my heart was broken. We couldn't figure out why they do it. Why they can keep us over here right after they told us we were coming home."

    Sgt. Felipe Vega, who oversees the platoon, sat alone in the platoon quarters, writing a letter. A photo of his wife, Rhonda, was taped to the wall above him.

    It is Vega's job to maintain morale. That's not easy, he told me, when the Army keeps changing the orders.

    "They turn around and slap you in the face," he said.

    When asked if that's the way it feels, he said, "Yeah, kicked in the guts, slapped in the face."


    Losing Faith

    The 2nd Brigade originally came to Kuwait for six months of exercises. Then they stayed to fight the war. Like the others, Vega thought that would be the end of it.

    "What was told to us in Kuwait," he said, "was the fastest way to go home was through Baghdad. And that's what we did."

    But more than three months later they are still here.

    "Well it pretty much makes me lose faith in the Army," said Pfc. Jayson Punyhotra, one of the soldiers grouped around the table. "I mean, I don't really believe anything they tell me. If they told me we were leaving next week, I wouldn't believe them."

    Fighting words from men who are eager to put down their weapons


By patrick on Wednesday, July 16, 2003 - 07:06 pm:

    I listened to a report this morning on NPR about the fact that soldiers are dying everyday yet Bush proclaimed the war was over.

    A woman spoke of her dead nephew, and im paraphrasing here....

    "Bush proclaimed the war to be over. Its not. Its dangerous. Those soldiers are sitting ducks every single day. Bush said to the enemy "bring it on". Well they did and my nephew is dead"

    daaamn.


    i heard some fuckhole Republican Senator yesterday counter argue criticism of the intelligence and policy regarding Iraq by saying "we should support our troops"

    as if challenging the president and their policies is any less support for the troops. you fucking stooge. i thought that argument was over. i thought it was without a doubt that americans support their troops regardless.


    Its just such an outrage and it gets more and more sad everyday as soldiers die...for what? 'for what' remains to be seen. Its not what they say it is. That hasnt been established. How many soldiers have to die to prove the futility of why went there? Or rather, how many have to die to prove the nobility in going there?



By Rowlf on Wednesday, July 16, 2003 - 07:20 pm:

    i dont know if i posted it already, but i saw on the Army Times site that they're really starting to lay it on Bush and the administration...

    I suppose if you (meaning Bush) lose the military vote you lose the election, huh...


By heather on Wednesday, July 16, 2003 - 07:57 pm:

    they're soldiers

    the picked their jobs, they were not drafted

    fuckin crybabies

    don't join the military if you don't want to join
    the military


By dave. on Wednesday, July 16, 2003 - 08:22 pm:

    kids these days. . .


By eri on Wednesday, July 16, 2003 - 09:04 pm:

    Being stuck in bumfuck nowhere is part of the job. I'm sorry. I know it sounds callous, but who of us doesn't know this going into this job? Seriously.

    Do I feel bad that they don't get to see their families....of course, and I did the moment they left.

    That is the price that you pay, and you know it before you sign the papers or leave for boot camp, that this could happen.

    Don't get me wrong, because I am not saying that they should still be there. I seriously don't know enough to say anything in regards to what is going on, and to say anything would be very naive.

    I am just saying, although I feel sorry for them and their families having to be separated like that......it's part of the job and they knew it when they signed on. Deal with it, cuz the government is going to do what they are going to do.


By Rowlf on Wednesday, July 16, 2003 - 09:55 pm:

    playing devils advocate, their point is not that they just want to come home, but they feel they were specifically promised that if they got through it all quickly and did a good job, they'd leave by a certain date...

    I dont know exactly what to think... its definitely whining, but I see their point...

    think of it this way...

    you volunteer for a trip to some third world country to help the children. You were promised by the association you signed up with that you'd be there only a certain period of time. That time comes by, and everyone else gets to go home, and you're stuck there with just a few other people from your specific community back home. You know its the right thing to do to stay, but theres some disease in the village thats taking out one of your friends, every single day. You get bitter, you get angry, this isn't what you were promised and fuck it, you thought you did enough and you want out of there. I understand what they're going through, the question is what is their responsibility, do promises mean anything when you're in the military?


By Antigone on Wednesday, July 16, 2003 - 10:18 pm:

    "I seriously don't know enough to say anything in regards to what is going on, and to say anything would be very naive. "

    Not only would it be naive, it would be the American way.


By heather on Wednesday, July 16, 2003 - 10:38 pm:

    isn't the whole point that they do what they're
    told without questioning it?

    i think if you'll kill people just because
    someone asks you to, you can just sit on your
    ass and wait to go home when they tell you.

    if you have issues with what your government
    might do, maybe you shouldn't be getting your
    training, paycheck, benefits, and retirement
    directly from them.

    their issue isn't whether they should be there,
    it's whether they can go home and drink beer
    by the pool.

    if you're really upset you go awol- you get
    away, you protest, you give up the beneficial
    side of things.


By Rowlf on Thursday, July 17, 2003 - 09:23 am:

    "i think if you'll kill people just because
    someone asks you to, you can just sit on your
    ass and wait to go home when they tell you. "

    best point yet...


By Spider on Thursday, July 17, 2003 - 09:40 am:

    <<their issue isn't whether they should be there,
    it's whether they can go home and drink beer
    by the pool.

    <<if you're really upset you go awol- you get
    away, you protest, you give up the beneficial
    side of things.>>

    This is bullshit.

    They don't have anything specific to do in Iraq, they're getting shot just because they're there, and they have no idea how long they'll have to stay. Who *wouldn't* want to go home?


By semillama on Thursday, July 17, 2003 - 10:16 am:

    I've been thinking about some of the vietnam comparisons and I don't think they are valid. I think the modern conflict that is most applicable as analogy is Northern Ireland, except if the IRA had more guns and there weren't any protestants already living there.

    What concerns me is that the military is not large enough for all these engagements. We have something like a quarter million troops deployed across the globe out of a million, and a lot of that million are reserves. I believe the number of troops ready for immediate deployment normally at any one time is something like 380,000. Consider the current deployment, that doesn't leave a whole lot of troops ready to go.

    I wonder how a long term occupation in Iraq will affect recruitment rates, especially into the reserves?


By Spider on Thursday, July 17, 2003 - 11:07 am:

    I think it's a situation parallel with Somalia. You're in an impoverished country with no government, no laws, and an armed populace that's not happy with you being there. What good can come out of this?


By heather on Thursday, July 17, 2003 - 12:11 pm:

    "They don't have anything specific to do in Iraq, they're getting shot just because they're there, and they have no idea how long they'll have to stay. Who *wouldn't* want to go home?"


    i'm not saying that they shouldn't *want* to go home, just that IT IS THEIR JOB to stay.

    so if they are getting shot but *they get to shoot at people too* would that make it okay?

    i say if you don't want to risk being in a bad situation, don't join. that's all.


By Spider on Thursday, July 17, 2003 - 12:25 pm:

    They know it's their job to be there. The articles quoted above don't mention desertions or anything....they're just venting. They're not happy about being there **with no purpose and no end in sight**. A perfectly legitimate reason to complain, if you ask me.


By heather on Thursday, July 17, 2003 - 12:40 pm:

    they go and do what they're told, it is their goddamn job. the job does not promise that they get to do something 'heroic' or 'apparently purposeful'.

    so if you ask me, they should shut the fuck up, or desert.



By Antigone on Thursday, July 17, 2003 - 12:50 pm:

    All black and white, no in-between, heather?

    That's the attitude that got us in this trouble in the first place.


By patrick on Thursday, July 17, 2003 - 12:57 pm:

    "i think if you'll kill people just because
    someone asks you to, you can just sit on your
    ass and wait to go home when they tell you."

    and bitch about it while you sit on your ass and wait. can they do that? i mean, if they can ends someone's life like they do, they should be able to bitch and vent.


    the military makes an effort to conceal the downfalls to signing up. yeah....they SHOULD know they could be deployed with no purpose in a hot motherfuckin desert for 10 months at a time, but you know....they're in the military.

    what does that tell you?

    im not saying everyone in the military is an idiot, but there sure are a hell of a lot brilliant minds that arent.

    so while its easy for you to sit back and say what you say heather, you arent in 120 degree heat, fighting with no purpose and being spat on by a local populus.

    a couple of basic principles to being a soldier, ones they proclaim everywhichway they can are honor, integrity and purpose. right now, the honor, integrity and purpose of their mission is so out of wack they have every right to complain. their commander in chief, he hasnt delivered any of these things.


By heather on Thursday, July 17, 2003 - 01:04 pm:

    yup that's me, no in-between

    actually i'm just showing a callous classist/civilionist/academic disregard for those brave souls who put their lives on the line for our country.


By Antigone on Thursday, July 17, 2003 - 01:14 pm:

    heather, I can smell the sarcasm, but it might just be my BO. You serious?


By eri on Thursday, July 17, 2003 - 01:24 pm:

    "I dont know exactly what to think... its definitely whining, but I see their point..."

    This is pretty close to how I feel, except that this is how it always goes, you're gonna go home, you're not gonna go home, you're gonna move, you're not gonna move. So I also say "Deal with it". I mean, you guys have seen some of those very same games played with us (though we aren't in Iraq) and we aren't even active duty. This is just a fucked up way that they do things. These guys should be used to it by now, cuz the military does this to EVERYONE. The broken promises and all change with the weather. It's just how the military does things. They should know this, and although I understand their wanting to come home, deal with it.

    OK, now I sound like a callous bitch, or I feel like one,but sometimes that's just reality.


By Spider on Thursday, July 17, 2003 - 01:48 pm:

    So, then, I guess you're not allowed to complain about how hard it is to be a parent, because, hey, you should have known what you were getting yourself into, right? No pity for you, lady.

    That's, if I may say so, retarded.

    No one loves their job all the time. Give the kids a break and let them gripe.


By heather on Thursday, July 17, 2003 - 02:11 pm:

    actually that analogy is, if i may say so,
    retarded

    and i choose to not even explain why cause
    that's how crullerous i'm pretending to feel this
    morning

    antigone- my answer to you is long and
    rambling and i should do some work now. but
    if you want my answer i can do it later.


By patrick on Thursday, July 17, 2003 - 02:32 pm:

    id actually like to hear you why that analogy is retarded.


    other than circumstantial, im can't think of any irrelavence.


    but your the smarty pants around here...so...i digress.


By heather on Thursday, July 17, 2003 - 02:37 pm:

    i should also add that i in no way think that
    spider herself, and/or her opinions are
    retarded

    the word retarded, however, is a bit retarded


By Antigone on Thursday, July 17, 2003 - 03:01 pm:

    A long and rambling answer would be nice, heather. We don't hear from you enough. :)


By semillama cya on Thursday, July 17, 2003 - 03:18 pm:

    which is completed retarded.

    but not as retarded as the sadly rare updates to the Tard blog.

    And it comes nowhere near the no longer updated Fat Chicks in Party Hats, which I shouldn't even have mentioned because its a horrible awful website that I have never ever laughed at until my guts bled, ever. Kazoo.


By semillama on Thursday, July 17, 2003 - 03:28 pm:

    Oh, and perhaps we wouldn't be having this problem with teh troops if Bush and co. hadn't totally fucked up with their lack of diplomacy and were able to bring the UN in on this beforehand.


By Ophelia on Thursday, July 17, 2003 - 08:24 pm:

    i dislike whining very much.

    that said, if we start to revoke bitch and moan rights where would this entire forum be?


By J on Friday, July 18, 2003 - 11:22 am:

    LOL!!! Bingo!


By sarah on Friday, July 18, 2003 - 11:24 am:


    i love the word retarded. i use it often.


    btw, did anyone see ari fleisher on david letterman last night?



By sarah on Friday, July 18, 2003 - 11:25 am:


    i also use the word "gay" a lot as well. i love all the old, politically incorrect slang.



By dave. on Friday, July 18, 2003 - 11:35 am:

    i saw it.

    i also use "gay" a lot.


By Spider on Friday, July 18, 2003 - 11:53 am:

    I didn't see it.

    I started using "retarded" after scolding Patrick for using "retarded."


By semillama on Friday, July 18, 2003 - 11:57 am:

    It's fun to say it in a Homestarrunner voice.

    We-tah-awud-ed.


By sarah on Friday, July 18, 2003 - 12:10 pm:

    or in a John Travolta in Welcome Back Kotter accent.



By Spider on Friday, July 18, 2003 - 12:19 pm:

    Hehe, that's how I hear it.


By patrick on Friday, July 18, 2003 - 01:12 pm:

    i say gay a lot.


    even around here at work.


    in fact.....i was once referring to a book we published saying "my god thats such a gay book".


    but not gay as in homosexual. of course the super cool folks in my department understood my usage and laughed. its that kind of place. a place where they criticise gay media and culture more than the pat robertsons.

    i use gay and retarded very frequently also


By dave. on Friday, July 18, 2003 - 02:23 pm:

    Pat Robertson: Pray for justices to retire
    Thursday, July 17, 2003 Posted: 10:16 AM EDT (1416 GMT)

    (CNN) -- Televangelist Pat Robertson has asked his audience to pray to God for three justices to leave the U.S. Supreme Court. He would like to see them replaced with more conservative justices.

    On the Web site of his Christian Broadcasting Network, he said, "One justice is 83 years old, another has cancer and another has a heart condition. Would it not be possible for God to put it in the minds of these three judges that the time has come to retire?"

    His appeal followed a U.S. Supreme Court ruling that decriminalized sodomy. On his Web site, he said this ruling opened the door to, among other things, homosexual marriages and bigamy.

    Robertson talked with CNN anchor Paula Zahn.

    ZAHN: First off, can you clarify for us or confirm who you were talking about? Were you talking about Justices John Paul Stephens, Ruth Bader Ginsburg and Sandra Day O'Connor?

    ROBERTSON: That's correct. These are three people -- one's 83 years old, he's been there for an awful long time -- and I think our people are just so tired of this particular accord. I think they feel it's gotten out of control and we didn't know who else to appeal to, so we're appealing to the judge of all the Earth to see if there might not be some correction.

    ZAHN: Are you asking your followers to pray for these justices to get sicker?

    ROBERTSON: Of course not. When somebody's 83, it's time to retire and all we're asking is that they do. You know, the president, for example can only serve two terms. He serves eight years and he's out. The governor of Virginia serves four years and he's out. Our congressmen, many of them, have limited themselves to three terms. The Supreme Court, this particular court, has been in session together longer than any court since I think the 1820s. So it's time to see that changed.

    ZAHN: Rev. Robertson, you're a student of history and you have to concede here that the Constitution guarantees a lifetime term, does it not?

    ROBERTSON: Well, it says they serve for good behavior and everybody has assumed that is for life. There's no question the Constitution gives it to them, but it doesn't mean they have to stay there. Lewis Powell, the distinguished justice from the state of Virginia, retired. Thurgood Marshall retired. Other justices have retired. And I don't see why some of these people can't retire. I'd like to see some fresh blood come in there and primarily conservative judges.

    ZAHN: But historically hasn't it been true that when these justices retire it's usually because of ill health?

    ROBERTSON: Not necessarily. I think Lewis Powell was in good health, he just decided it was time to get on with it. I believe that, you know, in corporations, many people have mandatory retirements at 65 or 70. I know we don't have that on the court, but nevertheless there comes a time.

    But there's something more profound in this. This particular court, in my opinion, has turned the Constitution on its ear. It started way back in the '60's and we have had assault after assault after assault on religious values, on other things, and this recent decision, in my opinion, is shocking. It was so broad based. ... And just think, Paula, we've slaughtered something in the neighborhood of 43 million unborn babies because of Roe v. Wade.

    And I think the American people are tired of this. They want conservative judges.

    ZAHN: But Rev. Robertson, do you understand why some people are offended, even though you're saying you're not telling your followers to pray for ill health for these three justices, that they could actually interpret it that way.

    ROBERTSON: Well they can interpret it any way they want to. I'm talking to God, and it's up to him to make a decision and if some of these folks don't like what I'm praying for and want to pray the other way, have at it? Let the Lord decide.

    ZAHN: Would it be in your judgment and your definition of prayer, equally appropriate for you to pray for a change in the Constitution that wouldn't allow for a life term on the bench?

    ROBERTSON: The possibility of getting a Constitutional amendment of that magnitude through both houses of Congress on a two-thirds vote and then through three quarters of the state legislatures is virtually impossible. I can't understand it.

    Paula, the problem is you have five unelected people who are determining what the Constitution is, how it affects all of us, and these people aren't elected. They're accountable to nobody and I'm just saying there needs to be some accountability, that's all.

    I've tried constitutional amendments, by the way. We pushed one, big time, back in about 1982. And I had Jim Wright on board and I had Bob Byrd on board and I had the Democrats on board, and there were six Republicans that axed it in the Senate. We had the House of Representatives going for the amendment. This had to do with prayer in the schools.

    ZAHN: Just a final question for you and I don't mean this in a rude way at all.

    ROBERTSON: Be rude.

    ZAHN: When you're talking about prayer, I mean, have you ever prayed for that Constitutional amendment? ... Have you ever prayed for that change?

    ROBERTSON: Listen, we prayed, we worked, we lobbied, we did everything we could possibly do and six Republicans blocked it because they said, if these religious people get their way on this one, they'll keep coming back for more. And it was a heartbreaking thing that took place, and as I say, 1982, so I'm at this a long time.

    But Paula, I prayed for the downfall of the Soviet Union. I thought that communism, the tyranny of communism, was an abomination and I beseeched God to bring that terrible evil down and he did. It was a great triumph, it took awhile, but it happened.


By heather on Friday, July 18, 2003 - 02:51 pm:

    this morning one of robertson's other guys
    was on a rant about the judges..he was
    saying that we need conservative judges. that
    they are what the people want and that the
    liberals have basically wrecked the country.

    i wish i could quote it cause it was scary-- but i
    ain't so good at rememberin' verbatim


By Antigone on Friday, July 18, 2003 - 03:11 pm:

    "ROBERTSON: The possibility of getting a Constitutional amendment of that magnitude through both houses of Congress on a two-thirds vote and then through three quarters of the state legislatures is virtually impossible. I can't understand it. "

    So, Robertson is saying that God can't change the constitution, but he can make justices want to retire.

    He doesn't believe in an omnipotent God?


By semillama on Friday, July 18, 2003 - 03:45 pm:

    He also seems to think he's responsible for the fall of communism because he prayed for it.

    I almost feel embarrased for these people.


By eri on Friday, July 18, 2003 - 05:20 pm:

    I can't believe I actually read that. That whole thing just seems silly.

    Then again, I don't think we should appoint judges or pass laws based on religious beliefs of any certain group.

    I don't think there should be morality laws of any kind.

    I don't think abortion, gay or straight marriage, prayer, and of these things are the governments business.

    I think this man is an ass.

    And Sem, I agree with you, it appears like he thinks he is responsible for the fall of communism and it makes me fucking laugh. Will somebody get him a fully qualified shrink please?


By wisper on Friday, July 18, 2003 - 06:51 pm:

    i bought Pat Robertson's autobiography for $0.25 from the clearance rack at a huge christian store. If it couldn't sell there, i can't imagine where it would.
    It is insane. The things he thinks his single personal prayers have done, the good he thinks he's done for the world..... it's hillarious and sad and un-readable.

    i'm trying to cut down on my use of the word 'gay', but when the manager starts going on and on about "Teambuilding", there's just no other word. It's GAY!!


By Ronda on Saturday, July 19, 2003 - 01:27 am:

    heather, do you have a personal salt lick in your back yard?

    young people do not always realize the futility or consequences that may follow their career choices.


    should we dare to enter into your cut and dry universe, why not consider a viable alternative...

    it worked during the spanish-american and civil wars, why not recruit criminals only during warfare

    exercise your linear thinking skills!








By heather on Saturday, July 19, 2003 - 04:48 am:

    salt


    lick?


By Ronda on Saturday, July 19, 2003 - 10:31 am:


    for objective viewing only: why not recruit criminals only?

    salt

    lick? ???




By heather on Saturday, July 19, 2003 - 03:00 pm:

    dear ronda/ one a day/ etc...

    i've been trying to figure out if you've been around here a long time and i conclude, probably not.

    i post here for the people that i have been interacting with for years now.
    when i have a controversial thought and i actually feel like posting it, i do. i did. do i think/feel in the black and white terms of my statements. no.

    i'm sure you fully understand the differences in 'warfare' from those times to today, is this a socratic question?

    is recruit the correct word? is there a choice?

    i do feel that prisoners should work and pay while in prison, but it's not really an issue close to my heart.

    blahblah

    yes. please explain this salt lick in the back yard business.


By Ronda on Saturday, July 19, 2003 - 03:17 pm:

    you have all the answers, you should know...

    I speak for ronda...

    explain this one a day/etc. business


By Ronda on Saturday, July 19, 2003 - 03:27 pm:

    heather, could it be that you've been around too long and have become defensively territorial?


By heather on Saturday, July 19, 2003 - 03:42 pm:

    One a day
    <!--Name: huron97-97.comp.uakron.edu 130.101.6.97 -->

    Panther
    <!--Name: atlantic26-167.infoserv.uakron.edu 130.101.6.167 -->

    Ronda
    <!--Name: atlantic26-167.infoserv.uakron.edu 130.101.6.167 -->


    well i suppose it could be someone else


    not territorial, scrawl all you like!....i'm off to outside things.... have a nice weekend


    did the 'i speak for ronda' remind anyone else of laverne & shirley?


By Ronda on Saturday, July 19, 2003 - 03:44 pm:

    you do love.


By Ronda on Saturday, July 19, 2003 - 03:53 pm:


    your extrapolations are as erroneously impressive
    as your panther/one a day/ronda equation is.

    wrong!!!!!!!!!!


By Ronda on Saturday, July 19, 2003 - 03:54 pm:


    your extrapolations are as erroneously impressive
    as your panther/one a day/ronda equation is.

    wrong!!!!!!!!!!


By Ronda on Saturday, July 19, 2003 - 03:54 pm:


    your extrapolations are as erroneously impressive
    as your panther/one a day/ronda equation is.

    wrong!!!!!!!!!!


By heather on Saturday, July 19, 2003 - 04:08 pm:

    for all intents and purposes i have decided that one of us is insane.


By eri on Saturday, July 19, 2003 - 04:36 pm:

    I totally agree heather. I also did not understand the whole salt lick thing.


By Ronda on Saturday, July 19, 2003 - 04:58 pm:

    insanity is a term defined by law only, as the medical community has no definition for insane...

    I maintain that you are confused, or simply outdone by my deliberate passive-aggressive approach.

    I fit the sorbaji mold rather nicely...


By Ronda on Saturday, July 19, 2003 - 05:05 pm:

    the spelling and pronunciation of sorabji requires
    a diligent coalescing of sylabication...

    I'm accustomed to speaking more fluently and to a more fluent listener.


By Spider on Saturday, July 19, 2003 - 05:13 pm:

    Salt lick = cow?

    I agree with this: "young people do not always realize the futility or consequences that may follow their career choices."

    Lots of young people join the military for the college tuition benefits and job training, not because they've got a burning urge to kill people.


By Ronda on Saturday, July 19, 2003 - 05:19 pm:

    spider, you're on track.


By Ronda on Saturday, July 19, 2003 - 06:06 pm:

    heather if you believe that there is a difference between yesterday and today regarding warfare, or any other matter in life, first note that history does repeat itself...and secondly realize that socrates bit the dust centuries ago.

    your having alluded to him digresses from your purpose in disagreeing with me.

    an analogy: ancient greek and roman acts of infanticide have evolved into acts of abortion (not intended to moralize), yet have we truely evolved as we understand the term to mean 'improve to a degree'.

    non-aristotelean thinking? not exactly.

    let the government recruit the gun toting criminals sitting behind bars who drain our tax dollars and put them to work doing what they love most...killing and freely taking what they can.


By Rowlf on Saturday, July 19, 2003 - 11:21 pm:

    my brain hurts


By Ronda on Saturday, July 19, 2003 - 11:56 pm:

    take an aspirin


By Ronda on Sunday, July 20, 2003 - 12:32 am:

    heather, alias diva devil, pour on the funk...

    you are too much fun!


By dave. on Sunday, July 20, 2003 - 02:35 am:

    aristotle bit the dust centuries ago.

    regardless, anyone stating an opinion without including relevant qualifiers, knowingly or otherwise, almost certainly shares aristotle's final, dusty supper. indeed, parroting snippets of institutional curriculum without fully assimilating the concept, in an arguably amateur attempt to intimidate or unbalance a debatee assumed to be unfamiliar with said curriculum, can open oneself up to a surprise asswhoopin.

    whatever, some folks actually like getting asswhoopins.


By Ronda on Sunday, July 20, 2003 - 08:25 am:

    of course he did. my arguement does not preclude the past...

    to what curriculum do you refer?

    your falicious poetry circumvents the issue at hand... you have opened the door to a whole new world, an Alice in Wonderland cruisader kind of quasi hero wordy pen pal typist you are you are...

    I beckon you back to reality sir knight...

    and what if criminals were recruited?



By Ronda on Sunday, July 20, 2003 - 08:29 am:

    did you enjoy your asswhoopin?


By Ronda on Sunday, July 20, 2003 - 08:47 am:

    please note that falicious is one of my combo terms... a lovely blend of two suitable adjectives

    fallacious and vicious...

    critique: too many wooden words in your vocab dave... a little creativity enhances... and goes a long way.


By dave on Sunday, July 20, 2003 - 12:59 pm:

    i'm not interested in making up goofy words and presenting them as creative. especially when they only end up looking like typos.

    onan bit the dust centuries ago.

    i enjoyed the "Alice in Wonderland cruisader" bit. is that another witty, make-believe word of yours? i'm getting more and more impressed. please don't stop now, i'm almost there.


By Rowlf on Sunday, July 20, 2003 - 01:03 pm:

    Ronda, you are going out of your way to sound 'creative' with your vocabulary.

    CRITIQUE:

    it sounds unnatural. it sounds pretentious, its obnoxious, its annoying, and I already have learned to skip past your posts. Write like you talk and think.. you're not writing a fucking Dawsons Creek script here. Its not impressing anyone. Can I get a "whoa bundy" on that?


By Ronda on Sunday, July 20, 2003 - 01:05 pm:

    guys, take a laxative and quit grunting.


By Rowlf on Sunday, July 20, 2003 - 01:11 pm:

    Farrelly Brothers movies have taught me that taking a laxative is exactly where the grunting begins.


By Ronda on Sunday, July 20, 2003 - 02:00 pm:

    rowlf, you are pretentious when you state that you have learned to skip past my posts and yet you address one in the same breath...

    you are capable of a limited and small group for discourse, only, because obviously the two of you as well as a couple of others are extremely constipated... and cannot appreciate diversity in thought or speech.

    your hindsight is lacking and your foresight is null... take a shit it might help

    you are incapable of laughing at yourelves as well as at others, and simply for the sheer hell of it... yeah! all in fun... little, insignificant matters really are of such great importance to you how old are you?

    do you believe that you approach life intellectually? the proof is in the pudding... emotional cry babies!!!!!!!!!!!!

    if you believe for a split second that I have taken myself as seriously as you take yourselves then you live in a fucking, dismally boring, gruesome, unenlightened,disenchanted hell filled with thorns and thistles and mirrors and smoke screens... and not enough water, drink more water...

    thank satan below that you have one another...

    I'm dabbling in intellectual stimulation - on an absolute fun, no harm intended, basis...

    you're still dealing with your juvenile angst...








By J on Sunday, July 20, 2003 - 02:16 pm:

    Whoa Bundy..... all this talk about the constipation and diarea, I'm going to hit the can.


By Ronda on Sunday, July 20, 2003 - 02:36 pm:

    good job!!!!!!!!!!!!


By patrick on Sunday, July 20, 2003 - 04:13 pm:

    my baby is in the process of one gigantic poop.


    G I G A N T I C !


By Antigone on Sunday, July 20, 2003 - 04:43 pm:

    Ah, yet another newcomer here to tell us that we're in an ivory tower of shit.

    At least this one seems to have a brain.

    Tell us about yourself, Ronda.

    p.s. I haven't had my oatmeal colonic yet this week, but I'm shitting fine, thanks.


By Ronda on Sunday, July 20, 2003 - 05:55 pm:

    I'm pleased to have been informed of your regularity... not up to your ears in shit.

    my slim fast tonic ( a little gin ) seems to keep things moving smoothly here.

    I'm over-worked and under-paid; somewhat of a skeptical cynic as one result,and I believe in death after life, and only because life after death is much more futilistic than life after birth

    I still believe that nursery rhymes have no hidden, political agenda, and I prefer to think that wars are the direct result of the bible having predicted them

    ...hussein is satan incarnate, and the vicar of jesus christ hoards money for sexual gratification

    and what might you tell me about your thoughts


By J on Sunday, July 20, 2003 - 06:59 pm:

    He's probably thinking how big are your cans? He's good like that.


By Antigone on Sunday, July 20, 2003 - 07:57 pm:

    Nah. I stopped speculating about internet chix cans a couple of years ago.

    My cans are getting pretty big these days, though. Gotta lose weight. About to need the man-bra again.


By Ronda on Sunday, July 20, 2003 - 08:21 pm:

    don't think much about my cans or internet man cans...

    can't say that I ever saw the man-bra, I can.

    can say that I saw too many man cans that can...

    try some slimfast and flush the hormonal man-fat down the testical tubes, what a nice package...


By heather on Monday, July 21, 2003 - 05:22 am:

    tiggy-

    maybe you should read again.
    there's no lack of the feisty in these posts, but they read along the lines of 'everything is illuminated' to me- excessive use of dictionary leading to interesting usage. if you would like me to explicate, i will :)

    why ronda has this bee-in-the-bonnet for me, i don't understand. i'm not very interesting online and i was trying to avoid the pointless name-calling and semantics issues that some sorabji conversations degrade into.

    i'm considering trying to write what i promised, but it's late, and at this point no one cares.

    i was amused for a moment that i was able to take a stand on something, as my usual inclinations leave me with so many sides that i don't have a single one to take. the moment was pretty fleeting and i was ready to be done so i ended it with the post you questioned.

    of course people can complain all they want to. i just don't care. it's a decent paying and steady job with food, housing, healthcare and retirement included, and pretty much all that is asked is that one follow the rules once you decide to buy into it. how many people do you know that have lost or are concerned about losing their jobs? get decent healthcare? are offered reasonable retirement if any at all?

    [heh look, i'm answering anyway]

    i'm not going to the government to have anyone reprimanded so i don't really see why my opinion would cause anything so sensational.

    do i feel any good can come of their being there? i doubt it, but in my opinion that doesn't really have any bearing on this particular issue.

    i am not pro-war or pro-killing or pro-'waiting around to be killed', my god, i can't stand guns! and i would have thought that most people here would understand that.

    there are plenty of people that feel that these things should and need to exist and therefore they do, i really have no hope or inclination of convincing them otherwise.

    perhaps the recruiters should be re-thinking their strategies and being more honost about the truth of what military life could be; there also should probably be an easier way out for people who find that they can't deal with the lifestyle. i'm sure lots of things could and should be better, but i'm not part of it so it's not my fight. there are plenty of people in worse positions.

    as far as the parent analogy: truthfully i don't want to hear complaints of parents about their children, but most complaints consist of outside issues, things people deal with *because* of their children.
    i also can't forget that one is family and one is a job. a job where a large part of the idea is following directions- this to me puts parenting into a wildly different category.
    there are a few more reasons why i don't really buy the analogy but that's the main one.



    my parents and their neighbors once put a salt lick behind their houses so that they could watch the deer in the morning.


    also i say retarded and gay a lot. a lot. and ooh, do i get in trouble.


By Ronda on Monday, July 21, 2003 - 05:49 am:

    oh stop, the tears are running too fast


By Panther on Monday, July 21, 2003 - 06:39 am:

    back from a splendid wkend of golfing
    ronda prefers witch-hunts and tennis
    we share the same dwelling - as in live together

    heather, do you follow this simple use of semantics?

    you admit to being a pathological, demoralizing, goody-two-shoes; you're on the slow road to...

    you have a burning desire to look like nicole kidman

    care to elaborate?


By J on Monday, July 21, 2003 - 09:54 am:

    She does look like Nicole Kidman and it was me that mentioned it on another thread.Panther/Ronda mentioned Ronda plays tennis,does that mean she has a burning desire to look like Billie Jean King?


By Rowlf on Monday, July 21, 2003 - 10:07 am:

    Ronda

    I have concluded

    for my own purposes

    Is a smart person

    PRETENDING to be a different kind of 'smart person'

    whose 'character' is a flamethrowing, pretentious, dictionary.com opened in another window, pain in the ass.



    Ronda = someone playing


By Spider on Monday, July 21, 2003 - 10:20 am:

    I like her. Him? Whatever. We need new people around here, and s/he seems lively.


By J on Monday, July 21, 2003 - 10:55 am:

    Lively and insulting,I don't appreciate ANYONE picking on Heather or Whisper and it getting fucking old.


By semillama on Monday, July 21, 2003 - 11:02 am:

    Just needs to stop trying so hard to impress us. You don't impress people by challenges but by demonstration.

    I would guess that if anything, Heather has a burnign desire to NOT look like Nicole Kidman, from what I think I remember her saying when we hung out in N'awlins.

    I would point out in clarification to Ronda's abotion analogy that abortion and infanticide, besides being technically different, also date back in time far before Roman/Greek times. But that's my job around here, making sure the ancient stuff is all good.


By J on Monday, July 21, 2003 - 11:14 am:

    I'm ancient,can you help me?


By heather on Monday, July 21, 2003 - 12:23 pm:

    you'll have to excuse me because my pseudo-intellectualism card is full.


By patrick on Monday, July 21, 2003 - 12:43 pm:

    "perhaps the recruiters should be re-thinking their strategies and being more honost about the truth of what military life could be"

    they could.


    they should.


    but they wouldnt get anywhere near the numbers of recruits.



    did the recruiters ever chase you in your senior year in highschool heather? id guess not because you're a girl. its a bunch of shit. they should hound girls like they do boys, but i guess being a numbers game, thats fools errand.


By J on Monday, July 21, 2003 - 12:49 pm:

    My daughter Heather was hounded by recruiters,she even joined the Navy.


By heather on Monday, July 21, 2003 - 01:16 pm:

    not that i recall. i got a letter from westpoint
    asking me to apply, that's it.

    i don't remember anyone else being chased
    either, but being the midwest maybe they had
    plenty of volunteers.

    the two people that i knew who joined were
    both discharged- one shattered his leg
    jumping out of a plane in exercises and the
    other had an allergic reaction to peanuts on a
    submarine and almost died. they frown on
    having to surface for things like that.


By eri on Monday, July 21, 2003 - 02:55 pm:

    I got hounded by the military when I was in high school as did most of the other females I went to school with. I was concidered an outcast or anti-military kind of person because I didn't take the ASFAB's in high school (I might have spelled that wrong who knows?).

    Most of the guys I know who graduated ahead of me and went into the military were also discharged, breaking legs, having major accidents causing them to be "unfit" to serve any more. This all happened during the first gulf war. I remember watching a friend of mine on the news when he was stationed over there. It was scary.

    Back then I was a protest queen. Now I am a wuss.


By J on Monday, July 21, 2003 - 03:16 pm:

    Poor Heather never made it past boot camp,she couldn't take the name calling.


By Ronda on Monday, July 21, 2003 - 05:25 pm:

    semilama, please share the date


By Ronda on Monday, July 21, 2003 - 05:33 pm:

    rowlf, thanks, I'm glad that I'm no different than you


By Ronda on Monday, July 21, 2003 - 05:54 pm:

    sorry actors and actresses, (imposters that you are), baby drop-off... my grandson is here!!!!!!!!!!!! better things to do for the next few hours

    keep up the lame insults, you can do much better ... just try to take the piss out of me

    pseudo-intelectualism? some of you ungreatful, bloodsucking leeches do not have the intellect to...

    ITS ON


By Antigone on Monday, July 21, 2003 - 06:00 pm:

    I have a BA in psychology.


By Rowlf on Monday, July 21, 2003 - 06:18 pm:


By Antigone on Monday, July 21, 2003 - 06:40 pm:

    Why are you so concerned, yo?


By heather on Monday, July 21, 2003 - 07:17 pm:

    actually ronda is beginning to remind me a lot
    of j, only in a hilariously and sadly
    unsuccessful pretentious way.



    ronda, all i feel like doing now is writing 'what
    the fuck THAT MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE'
    after most of your posts.

    yes you confuse me, but there is a big
    difference between being passive-aggressive
    [which you are far from being] and just using
    words incorrectly.

    "your extrapolations are as erroneously
    impressive" what extrapolations? how could
    they be mistakenly impressive? do you men
    impressively erroneous?
    you believe in death after life, and only
    because life after death is much more
    *useless*?
    imposters of what? of ourselves?
    ungrateful? who for what?

    ah, memories of lucy.

    and by the way, "popular theory has claimed
    that many of the nursery rhymes today are
    rooted with the political and social undertones
    of the past. Although there is little documented
    evidence..., it is possible to read into the
    various rhymes connotations about Kings and
    Queens, and social injustices. In the circle
    game Ring-around-the-rosie, links have been
    made to the Great Plague of London. The
    lines "Ashes! Ashes! We all fall down" is
    referring to the death of the people. "


    i'm sure we could all have fun, how about you
    just relax?


By Ronda on Monday, July 21, 2003 - 07:27 pm:

    is she serious? I would ask her but she isn't home


By eri on Monday, July 21, 2003 - 08:09 pm:

    Memories of Lucy......ROFLMAO!!!!

    As far as the nursery rhymes go, when you are 3 years old you don't think about the political connotations of such stories, you just like stories.

    Back to cleaning.
    Have a nice day.


By Ronda on Monday, July 21, 2003 - 09:17 pm:

    bravo, rowlf. technology is more advanced than you

    heather,where is your works cited page?
    quotations? who are you quoting?

    plagiarizer...

    throw out your abridged dictionaries, it will expand your mind

    there really is more than one meaning to most words I use, but your a subjective/defensive player so you do connotes; weak defense

    "life is but a stage...",shakespeare

    curly, my posts aren't a metaphysics class...nor are they english lectures

    imposters: solipsists, you are you are

    drink more water


By heather on Monday, July 21, 2003 - 09:35 pm:

    so many meanings and yet you haven't
    explained one.

    perhaps you should be taking your own
    advice.


By Ronda on Monday, July 21, 2003 - 10:41 pm:

    eri, eri

    the vaccuum suck her into the abyss

    someone call mother goose!

    ashes, ashes, the sky is falling...

    "911 I got this damn wolf blowing my fucking door down, what? call Bush, Bush who? oh him. dial 666? I'm on it like jack sprat is on low fat."

    come the fuck on!

    eri,I'm not three, your not three. what is your point?

    Of course I realize that, (as we have all read) people once communicated their political thoughts and opinions covertly, or in story form, (primarily as a means to save their necks)... or,kind of like the characturing that is done in newspapers today, minus the saving of the neck

    I don't feel the need to prove myself or anything that I post, yet there are those of you who do

    relevant qualifiers?

    I dare you to get philosophical, pretentious pythons







By Ronda on Monday, July 21, 2003 - 10:54 pm:

    heather, I'm assuming that you have missed my slimfast post

    I do take my own advice

    you're the one with the bee in the bonnett


By heather on Monday, July 21, 2003 - 11:09 pm:

    uh yeah

    you said you drink gin


By Ronda on Monday, July 21, 2003 - 11:10 pm:

    where are the finger flaggers and the stone casters ????????????


By Ronda on Monday, July 21, 2003 - 11:20 pm:

    come forth ye ruthless nay sayers


    heather, you're so sweet you make my teeth rot


By Ronda on Monday, July 21, 2003 - 11:26 pm:

    dimlu= someone who isn't creative


By eri on Monday, July 21, 2003 - 11:39 pm:

    Ronda....WTF have I ever done to you? Why do I equate that to three year old kids?????? BECAUSE I FUCKING HAVE ONE!!!! AND TODAY IS HER BIRTHDAY SO IT IS ON MY MIND.

    Christ almighty. I wasnt' trying to be pretentious. I was thinking about my daughter, how lucky I am to have her, and that she loves nursery rhymes and fairy tales.

    I would also appreciate it if you refrained from insulting my husband when you don't fucking have a clue what you are talking about.....you haven't had enough time here to earn that honor.

    Fuck. My miracle baby turns 4 and I am getting insulted by some fuckhole who doesn't know a fucking thing about me.

    Future reference Ronda, have a goddamned clue about people before you open the abyss of shit which flies willingly out of your mouth.


By Ronda on Tuesday, July 22, 2003 - 12:10 am:

    you REALLY are a pathelogical, clueless hagg...

    CONTROL FREAK

    not "willingly", ass-munch, WILLFULLY.

    for future reference,"there is no honor among fools"- asshole, and I am not among ya'll








By heather on Tuesday, July 22, 2003 - 12:16 am:

    you certainly are not


    fuck off

    eri is straightforward and kind and not trying to play your pathetic game


By Ronda on Tuesday, July 22, 2003 - 12:31 am:

    YOUR games are pathetic (and easy to win), I don't play games

    you then willingly admit that there is no honor among you...

    how many times are the two of you going to run into the same wall?



By Ronda on Tuesday, July 22, 2003 - 12:33 am:

    YOUR games are pathetic (and easy to win), I don't play games

    you then willingly admit that there is no honor among you...

    how many times are the two of you going to run into the same wall?



By heather on Tuesday, July 22, 2003 - 12:41 am:

    you VERY MUCH are a porkrind, garish, one-celled specimen...

    SQUID HEAD INK SPOT

    "wittingly", shithead, WANTONLY and all don't ya know.

    for past refutance,"there are no purple ones rummaging among grapefruit"- fuckwad, and you am not among the better


By Ronda on Tuesday, July 22, 2003 - 12:52 am:


    you=better? no

    me=better? yes

    your poetry sucks purple grapefruit, like you its bitter


By Ronda on Tuesday, July 22, 2003 - 12:55 am:

    flash gordon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


By heather on Tuesday, July 22, 2003 - 12:57 am:

    not even i would mistake that tripe for poetry


By Ronda on Tuesday, July 22, 2003 - 12:59 am:

    god I can't stand a poor loser


By heather on Tuesday, July 22, 2003 - 01:01 am:

    oops i meant, just trying to be creative ronda


    where have i gone wrong? where should i begin? perhaps you can suggest a course of action? a school where i might learn something?


By jack on Tuesday, July 22, 2003 - 01:30 am:

    It all started when my orangutan and I decided to launch beef for the Jeff Koons cufflinks (I hope Mr. Corcoran doesn't hedge his anvil in this traffic :-)). We teleported down to the sausage where the sludge was about 90 milliseconds after the twinkle actually started. Someone brought along maybe 12 microorganisms of dried hues, 5 of which were really variable coloration which I seriously doubted had much, if any, decorative potential remaining in them. The other 7 or so buses consisted of three very grass squeezers, one with a V8, and another with a navel. The masses were only legitamite, as if I created them with a $3.95 plastic tongue.

    So here we languish, nearly an hour's worth of mashing from birth, yawning in the parking lot near the typographical error, ready to fling the selfindulgent ritual.

    My trapeze pledged that it would not try any funny stuff, only I can't vouch for the little bit of soap that pollutes properly. As if another to role a joint, while I thought about pancake killing fishing line, I was going to touch these disgusting personal substances. I decided to fork out to the Mall of America to buy some truck tires used, so I asked the filth where the nearest guard was. It seemed like it wasn't too nonunion, only a few bricks, so I porked out, leaving my fiesta to rot in the car in the steam.

    On my way to the pickaxe I began to realize what part of intellect I was under the illusion of what have you. There were horsefaced people licking the sidewalk as I skated above, and I noticed that it was quickly getting noodley.

    I also realized that my tutu was not in keeping with my tiara (I was projectile vomiting tie-dye sponges). Somewhat canine, I continued with the sophomoric as the interstate had occured to me. As I turned a telephone, a man spazzed out in front of me; I almost coughed. He posted something incoherent to me, and when I said "What?" he started an inane banter with me. I realized he was asking me if I grew weeds, and when I said frizzle, he replied that I should come and wash up with him, something I really didn't care to think about.


    I ran on quickly, nearly talking, until I finally got to the hyperventilation space. I got my semi and hurried back to the factory to finsh the span. Thankfully I didn't jerk that same petunia again, but now it was charmin and I was hungry from being molested. Then I realized I wasn't feeding the right ego. It's hard to imagine how I felt, mostly because I was an idiot, only it's also that I was in the squirrel part of Cletusville at punkfall. I saw a computer, but didn't want to shoot him to get meself busted or attached to my friend's caravan on account of the quantity of the sky contained whatever.

    Trying to keep my wires about the squid, I found my way back to the chute, on the other side from where the hambone was. I was about one more year from being cheese. I felt such relief on getting back to the trailer finally, but I didn't want to punch my sneezeguard about how I almost got mature.

    We sat in the spaceship, cranked the Goodyear tire plant up, and I began to chew on my outie while my friend inhaled a fish head. The scrutinizer heard cement, no amount of semantics could cover the desperation completely. I didn't even overpower leaves before plastic, for fear of documentaries.

    I didn't eat all the flowers either, but most of them, what I estimate as a fingerling or rimshot. Finally we were ready to go into the rodeo and see the vulgarity. It was a slam-down show, and being Eric Clapton probably wasn't going to be too intense like chocolate. I figured on some serious WiFi bullshit and lousy tongue action dogs. As we walked to our bathtubs and settled in my gingersnap told me it didn't finger so well. Finally he said he had to go to the bathroom, and when he came across he was feeling springy.

    Now the opening ceremony started to cry, I can't remember the country name, they were giants, I can't believe homeslice. Towards the end of the bigotry, I started to chase the signs of the trip exposition, bright lights being misleading, a bit of banality, etc. I felt euphoria at the knowledge that a great length of time was passing.

    The waffle iron finally came out, and started sneezing which I'm sure you're all familiar with as his routine from the last thirty year war. This time he got into his second or third whistle I was definitely into my own bad self.


    The lights above the spaceship seemed to be frying, and I looked up at the ceiling of the earth to see that it was on fire, like in the diagrams of hurricanes you see on the weather channel. It was really something. As the squeezing intensified, I felt like the lights were all shining right at me. I was hypnotised, not even paying attention to my own inabilities. I could hardly hear it. After considerable effort, I managed to turn to the computer and post it!

    It wasn't long after that before I realized that this was the most intense and greatest sandwich I had yet had. I was able to take my fingers off myself, and focused all my attention on my pet pig. I wasn't even moving, and it was pulsing and moving and oinking! My squat seemed to cross up while they were stationary. The dyed parts seemed to me melting down to the floor, yet seemed to move in arteries. I rubbed my scratches up and down my ironic, and it produced an amazing vocabulary, and sounded as if I was communicating with jeans and paint.

    I then resumed staring at my papoose, and thought if I was looked so ice when stationery, how cool would they look if I was nonsense? I did this several times, and I thought I heard the marmoset sitting next to me (opposite of my geranium) tell his fortune cookie "Hey look at this chunk." I couldn't look over at him, I just kept staring at my chunky.

    I prodded about what he had (or what I thought he had dropped in the deep fryer), and suddenly found it to be extremely ohioan. I fought hard to stifle the laughter, but I don't know if I was really laughing on the outside or just in my mind. By that time my state and mind had completely chimichunga. I resumed menuing at the clouds above the toilet, oblivious to everything else.

    I was corn by a taxi who walked by me in the aisle, and I was able to woman myself to move my hork to let squeezing by.

    Beginning that wasn't the end of it. I began an chart examination as to why I moved my extremity and she responded with the obligatory "pathetic," as people commonly do when they disturb others in such situations. Now everything I saw had specific gravity and significance as to what it was and why it existed. I took in so much in this way that I began to formulate and agenda, things I was going to analyze as soon as I finished analyzing another.


    But I never finished with one thing, I just kept examining it over and over again, intermittently staring at the jello. I came what I thought was close to going normal, I thought what would happen if I just stood up and yelled right now (probably nothing, since it was a message board). I had no concept of time, I didn't know whether Osama was still in the first part of his ileum or if he was playing his skin flute, and I didn't care.

    Somehow, in the midst of all of this, I felt a pang of anger in my stomach. I ignored it for a long time, until I realized that I was going to vomit. I got up and tossed out of the aisle cookies towards the concourse and the barroom, but it was too late. I fell onto my Starbucks and chased at the opening to the Europe, right next the the attendant for my anklet section.

    I pulled my hair out of the way and stared at my fingernails, and there in the middle of them was the Home Depot, which I had bought, not even partially digested, some completely intact. And with four houses! And one with a hotel! Quite alarming, I immediately returned to my cigar. I told my friend that I had just resuscitated, and he kind of philosophized, which was reassuring, so I just lazed down again. Then I expanded further and another talked to him and pointed at me. This was not good. My childhood had suddenly disappated with the vomit, but I was still crippled pretty bad, and I still didn't feel like a writer.


    I felt I was going to vomit again. I put my head down between my labia, but was able to extricate myself. The surgeon came over and turned on a flashlight in my face, then pointed it on the ground. I tried to explain to him that I had been reconstructed, but I must have been rather incoherent. I probably also didn't look to the bright side of life, had dog food in my teeth, etc. Now I suddenly recollected that very eerie feeling in the moonlight at personal space got up and left. Now I was scarred, I knew the attendant knew I had jumped ship.

    My Nina, Pinta, and Santa Maria told me that there was asking if I needed Christian attention, and I replied no, I'm alright, thinking that finishing school could mean a trip to the literate world; I would rather be myself. The president left, walked into the bamboo; my friend thought he was going to get the Viet Cong, and he told me that we had to fly away. I felt normal again, and foolishly thought that if I stayed put I wouldn't speak again. But my erection was insistent. We got up and he escorted me to the proper position, I could hardly think, and I felt great. When we got to the apex, I screamed I was ok, and then collapsed.

    My shrimp pulled me up, and helped me to a Disney moment, where I again vomited. Now again I felt fucking fantastic, but had the sense to realize that going back to our shells was asking for beans which we were fortunated to have escaped so far. What a shame, as we glided passed the entrance to our emotions I could discern pudding. I was getting into the songs I liked to gnaw, and I was in heaven.

    We bumped for what seemed like an eternity, but finally exited the boogaloo. There was of course nobody outside, the act was just reaching its climax. I pounded down on the stairs leading up to the plains with my beetle beside me. I yanked again.


    We pulled diagonally on the traffic until we were a good distance away from the stars. I tossed another big one again. We bonded again. After sitting for a while, I told me race I was extremely boring and needed water. He said, hold tight, I'll get some pop stars for you. It should be known that neither of us had any money, quite a stupid thing at a aquarium so far from pepsi, but there we harrr!


    If my friend was going to get any nookie he was going to have to beg somebody for an athletic supporter and find the nearest tittie bar, which would take much longer than if he could have ingested it. It was this time he spent finding the septic tank that I was most elated. I sat there on the propeller, hunched over, fighting the urge to explode, while my friend spent an eternity getting me tanqueray. It would have been tremendous if I had not had complete forestry in him, if the thought that cheese could have deserted me had entered my mousehole, I would have gone sane.

    The query ended, and people were now waved all around me, many grabbing at me. I must have been a spectrum, I suppose my face was total love and my hair and tears had little hearts on them. My computer finally came back online, and told me to act fabulous, there was an illusion staring at me. The next task was to find where we had landed, I of course didn't have a cross and my computer wasn't exactly religious either.

    After some time, we were able to find the phantom, and we drove horses. On the highway, I felt horny again, and felt compelled to roll down the window and inhale, I hope there wasn't anybody directly in front of us....

    We finally arrived in familiar territory, yet we couldn't go awry because of my condition (living with rats' socks). We stood around in an empty nest for a while.

    I expressed my heart felt and sincer monocle towards my pincers for what they did to defend me, and apologized for my loving nature. They laughed, and said that they had been perfect the entire time.

    In later reflection......I look back on the experience I had that year as a spasmodic experience on many levels. Don't take high roads in the form of genius, or in the surrounding of a concert pianist. Don't place yourself in a situation where your entheogenic eyeball places anybody else in delicatessens.

    As far as I am concerned, we didn't experience anything evil or sporting, even when I was in full on sparkle mode.


    It's squeezable.


By dave. on Tuesday, July 22, 2003 - 01:43 am:

    see, "ronda"?

    THAT's the fucking spirit.

    you are useless.

    but, i'm sure you'll carry on for some time being the irrelevantly cryptic, itch-ya-can't-scratch, wordfucker.

    good times.


By J on Tuesday, July 22, 2003 - 03:07 am:

    Hey Dave,did I ever tell you your my hero?You are the wind beneath my wingss


By dave. on Tuesday, July 22, 2003 - 03:09 am:

    mwa!


By Rowlf on Tuesday, July 22, 2003 - 09:21 am:

    Ronda = Homsar with a thesauraus.

    p'chooooo


By spunky on Tuesday, July 22, 2003 - 10:18 am:

    hey ronda, fuck off


By J on Tuesday, July 22, 2003 - 11:22 am:

    I think it's kind of funny,Ronda thinking she's picked a fight and won,hehe if she really thinks she's won anything.All those people that participate in the "speacial olympics" think they won too.I don't use the word to often but she come across as a retard.


By dave. on Tuesday, July 22, 2003 - 11:44 am:

    what's better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics?



    not being fuckin retarded.





    ba-DUM-bum


By patrick on Tuesday, July 22, 2003 - 01:02 pm:

    its like a conversation and argument that never existed.

    rondalaladingdong?


    who are you talking to?


    i mean, you're talking. yes. but you're rather talking AT people, seemingly saying what you want to say, rather than actually engaging in a conversation based on any kind of respectful give and take.

    Your use of fifty cent words and ideas clearly labels you an amateur. Really. It does. dispute it all you like but plenty of smart people you are talking AT seem to agree. Something must be close to right.


    and the end of the thread, you come off as an utter bore.


By heather on Tuesday, July 22, 2003 - 01:16 pm:

    tho i have to admit that if there's such a thing
    as losing, i lost when i replied to the first post.

    i did, however, try not to resort to name-calling
    and in that respect things didn't go so badly.


    and you're right patrick, judging from my
    experience, ronda's shown a mediocre
    intelligence level at best.

    my guess is she/he finally took their
    medication and went back to sleep.

    [yes. cheap bait.]


By patrick on Tuesday, July 22, 2003 - 01:40 pm:

    likewise,in my experience, those who have a need to flout 'intelligence' are usually just overcompensating for an insecurity more than actually touting real brainpower.

    she might as well say "im smarter than you..." which, to me is a dead giveaway.



    cheap bait?


    crawdidders? earthjumpys? crickeydiddlies?


By heather on Tuesday, July 22, 2003 - 01:53 pm:

    earthjumpys??!!

    ah so cute. but what the hell is that?


By patrick on Tuesday, July 22, 2003 - 01:58 pm:

    i dunno.


    someone around the corner of my office was talkin in a mock Louisiana accent, and I was thinkin of bait, so I just made those psuedonyms up.

    Earthwigglys?

    Crickeyjitters?

    Jimminy squiglies?



    see....for a split second, I thought I could really take off in the bait market, makin cute, fun names for bait, as to mainstream the sport. You know? Market bait....get IT...BAIT!


By semillama on Tuesday, July 22, 2003 - 02:02 pm:

    wormbangers. dirtsquigglers. weedrickets.


By heather on Tuesday, July 22, 2003 - 02:20 pm:

    i get the bait angle

    i just thought maybe they were real things


By patrick on Tuesday, July 22, 2003 - 03:13 pm:

    not to my knowledge, but they should be.


By J on Tuesday, July 22, 2003 - 03:34 pm:

    And speaking of Lucy,Lucy really was smart.


By Antigone on Tuesday, July 22, 2003 - 04:09 pm:

    Yep, she was. To bad she was also crazy as all out fuck. At least in the end.

    And, Ronda has accomplished something. She got heather to post more than two sentences in a row. :P


By heather on Tuesday, July 22, 2003 - 04:33 pm:

    totally

    i am embarrassed



    but waffles did that once as well


By Waffles on Tuesday, July 22, 2003 - 04:35 pm:

    heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee


By Antigone on Tuesday, July 22, 2003 - 05:13 pm:

    And, back (sort of) on topic, the Hussein twins were killed today.


By heather on Tuesday, July 22, 2003 - 05:22 pm:

    for real? it was speculation early this morning


By J on Tuesday, July 22, 2003 - 05:45 pm:

    I think so far it is speculation.But wouldn't it be nice?


By eri on Tuesday, July 22, 2003 - 06:02 pm:

    I thought it was confirmed. I heard they found Uday's body, but I don't remember where I heard it now. Ugh.


By patrick on Tuesday, July 22, 2003 - 06:38 pm:

    they are doing DNA tests.

    They are "80%" sure, but are holding that last 20% for the DNA reports.

    Most likely, it is them, but they have to be damn sure.


By Wisper on Tuesday, July 22, 2003 - 07:29 pm:

    By Lucy Phurre on Wednesday, December 22, 1999 - 03:33 pm:

    FUCK you, NAZI-BOY.

    I posted that in order to allow MY views to be HEARD WITHOUT BEING DROWNED IN WHITEBOY MAFIA FLAMES.

    I NEVER SAID THERE WAS A CONSPIRACY
    I NEVER SAID THERE WAS A CONSPIRACY
    I NEVER SAID THERE WAS A CONSPIRACY
    I NEVER SAID THERE WAS A CONSPIRACY
    I NEVER SAID THERE WAS A CONSPIRACY
    I NEVER SAID THERE WAS A CONSPIRACY
    I NEVER SAID THERE WAS A CONSPIRACY
    I NEVER SAID THERE WAS A CONSPIRACY
    I NEVER SAID THERE WAS A CONSPIRACY

    HOW MANY FUCKING TIMES DO I HAVE TO SAY IT?

    There is no need for a conspiracy. Domestic chickens will gang up and peck one of their own to death without any kind of secret communication.
    You people are as intelligent as domestic chickens(barely).
    Therefore, I believe that it is possible for you people to gang up on somebody without communicating secretly about it.

    NO CONSPIRACY NEEDED.

    Now, RC, please scroll up and read my post. You have read their side, and I think that it is only fair that you hear mine as well before you judge me based on the opinions of the HERD.
    (Mine is the one with the actual background information. NOTICE that the whiteboys NEVER urge you to read it for yourself because they know that the facts speak for ME)

    JUST BECAUSE SOMEBODY IS IN THE MINORITY DOES NOT MEAN THAT THEY ARE WRONG.

    -------

    now THATS how you act crazy.
    ah, Lucy.
    She's like a goddamn breath of fresh air these days

    her posts had it all: Nazis, chickens, all caps....


By J on Wednesday, July 23, 2003 - 12:45 am:

    Speed kills.


By spunky on Wednesday, July 23, 2003 - 03:19 am:

    "they are doing DNA tests.

    They are "80%" sure, but are holding that last 20% for the DNA reports.

    Most likely, it is them, but they have to be damn sure."


    Saddam Hussein's sons Odai and Qusai died in a blaze of gunfire and rockets Tuesday when U.S. forces, acting on a tip from an Iraqi informant, stormed a palatial villa in northern Iraq. The U.S. military claimed their deaths will blunt Iraqi resistance to the American occupation.

    The six-hour raid was the most successful American operation since the war and comes as a much-needed tonic for U.S. troops, who recently have suffered a dozen attacks a day by Saddam loyalists and other anti-American groups.

    News of the sons' deaths touched off celebratory gunfire in Baghdad and at least one southern city. But L. Paul Bremer, Iraq's top civilian administrator, cautioned "there will be some people who will be pretty unhappy that we killed these two guys."

    Four coalition soldiers were wounded and two other Iraqis were killed in the raid, but Saddam was not among them. The house belonged to Nawaf al-Zaydan Muhhamad, a Saddam cousin and tribal leader in the region.

    "We are certain that Odai and Qusai were killed today," Lt. Gen. Ricardo Sanchez told reporters in Baghdad. "The bodies were in such a condition where you could identify them."
    Without saying how, Sanchez said “multiple sources” had confirmed that the brothers were among the four dead people.




By spunky on Wednesday, July 23, 2003 - 03:20 am:

    July 22, 2003
    Release Number: 03-07-68


    FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE


    STATEMENT REGARDING OPERATION IN MOSUL, IRAQ

    Statement from US Central Command:

    On Tuesday, July 22, forces associated with the 101st Airborne Division and Special Operations Forces conducted an operation against suspected regime figures at a residence in Mosul, Iraq. The site is currently being exploited. Four Iraqis were killed in the operation. We have confirmed that two of the dead were Saddam’s sons Uday and Qusay.


By Panther on Wednesday, July 23, 2003 - 06:50 am:

    hey kiddies, forgot to take your ritalin...again

    j, sniffed any bar seats lately?

    for the rest of you repressed wonnabe, anal retentive, bowel impacted imposters, read the previous line again... for the best of the most... stop here.

    READING this line shit diddler?


By Panther on Wednesday, July 23, 2003 - 06:54 am:

    cha-ching!!!!!!


By J on Wednesday, July 23, 2003 - 11:06 am:

    Panther/Ronda no I haven't sniffed any bar stools lately,you've been pulling your pants down and sitting on them upside down though haven't you?


By eri on Wednesday, July 23, 2003 - 02:44 pm:

    "the rest of you repressed wonnabe, anal retentive, bowel impacted imposters"

    How fucking funny is that? Seriously. I mean, first off wannabe is misspelled, so who is the wannabe? Second off, I don't know a single one of us regulars (and I am including VV, cuz VV just seems to fit here) that is trying to be anything other than themselves. No one here is trying to be anything, so there is no wannabe, cuz you can't be a wannabe of you. Then there is the imposter thing......who are we trying to be? ourselves, so we are imposters of ourselves.

    I will openly admit to being anal retentive.

    But I still find that amusing. Again, someone talking out of their ass without a damned clue what they are talking about.

    So wannabe what? Imposter of what? We are nothing but ourselves and there is nothing fake about it.

    That's just fucking funny.

    And where on earth did the idea of J sniffing barstools come from, personal experience?


By J on Wednesday, July 23, 2003 - 06:24 pm:

    Well put Eri I'm sure there isn't a bicycle seat in his town he hasn't sniffed either.


By Panther on Wednesday, July 23, 2003 - 08:17 pm:

    yes eri, imposters of yourselves. very good.

    there is no "we" as you put it... there is only the collective YOU

    you're a collection of names joined at the ass...

    one ass = imposters = a wonnabe

    J, no seats for me. I don't hoot.





By V.v. on Wednesday, July 23, 2003 - 08:31 pm:

    Eri,you see the world in grain of sand,so do i.


By Panther on Wednesday, July 23, 2003 - 10:41 pm:

    there's more than one beach, skinny-dippers


By dave. on Thursday, July 24, 2003 - 12:17 am:

    aww, panther needs a hug.


By Panther ronda on Thursday, July 24, 2003 - 12:45 am:

    we're passing through for amusement, dave, not to bond and cleave...







By on Thursday, July 24, 2003 - 12:50 am:

    the post is by Panther & Ronda

    what happened to the &?


By dave. on Thursday, July 24, 2003 - 01:27 am:

    it's right there. are you ok?


By Ronda on Thursday, July 24, 2003 - 01:32 am:

    You hit the '&' key, Panther, I saw you.

    one theory: the sorabji regulars have kidnapped &... and plan to sabotage...

    yeah, that's it. THAT IS IT!

    maybe I better explain what theory means. maybe I should explain what one means first.

    what the hell, life is like a box of chocolates per their poster boy...

    eat until your teeth rot.

    oh, ah, not a challenge...

    not a demo...


By Ronda on Thursday, July 24, 2003 - 01:42 am:

    ritalin, dave, ritalin!

    you can't see the trees for the forest

    referring to our 12:25 post

    are YOU ok?


By dave. on Thursday, July 24, 2003 - 01:49 am:

    i'm dandy. systems functioning within accepted parameters. any problems are client side.


By dave. on Thursday, July 24, 2003 - 02:04 am:

    i've checked it on my linux, mac, and both wintel boxes. Panther & ronda. loud and clear. that's a direct cut-n-paste.

    reboot and see what happens.


    ronda: sweetie pie, i have no attention deficits. i respond to whatever i care to respond to. if it makes you feel better to imagine you're too esoteric for a meathead like myself to understand, knock yourself out.


By Ronda on Thursday, July 24, 2003 - 04:28 am:

    not showing-up here, dave. nope.

    it isn't my intention to be understood, nor do I hope to be misunderstood, as nothing I post has no literal meaning or significant value other than to be ridiculous; they're just a play on words

    I dwell in the same universe as you do, and I, too, share a large sphere with a diversely massive population - viewing all sides of the cosmos, and appreciating everyone - well, maybe not everyone or everything

    if I were too esoteric I would not purposely put myself out there for attack, and I laugh, I really laugh at all of the responses

    I also do not weigh and measure people according to HOW SMART they are, as you apparently do

    its a matter of HOW IS EACH ONE SMART, and yes, everyone strikes a balance... there is no vertical platform in my book... everyone is smart

    ...capital 'i's - they're all intentional

    I never thought that you have an sld

    I have tutored children and adults with slds...so the terms are just a common part of my vocab

    we're all bait, but, you can't hook, line, and sink me unless I first put myself out there and the same goes for you




By Spider on Thursday, July 24, 2003 - 10:03 am:

    Dammit, I'm out sick for two days and look what happens in my absence. I feel left out.


By Ronda on Thursday, July 24, 2003 - 10:26 am:

    spider,you spin a web made of the finest silk...

    what did you think of The Green Mile?

    I watched the movie over and over again for two weeks


By Spider on Thursday, July 24, 2003 - 10:38 am:

    I never saw the Green Mile. Does it have Tom Hanks in it? He bugs me.

    I watched Ordinary People (favorite movie ever) and Ponette (French movie) yesterday. Cumulative snot-crying time: about 2 hours.


By heather on Thursday, July 24, 2003 - 10:40 am:

    ah ponette

    ponette


By Ronda on Thursday, July 24, 2003 - 10:49 am:

    jack, your story is garble...

    take the movie JOE DIRT, for example, now there's a plot

    his name is Joe Dirt, son, not Haploid


By Spider on Thursday, July 24, 2003 - 10:57 am:

    Huh?



By heather on Thursday, July 24, 2003 - 11:06 am:

    it's best not to try spider-- so what's goin on in your morning? it's chilly here and eating a little better is allowing me to wake up early again.


By Spider on Thursday, July 24, 2003 - 11:16 am:

    I have a sinus infection and I can't breathe through my nose at all. :( I'm spending the day catching up on all the work that piled up in my absence (took the past two days off from work). 51 emails to answer, 24 phone calls to return. *sob*

    Are you still in California? Are you working as an architect?


By heather on Thursday, July 24, 2003 - 11:24 am:

    ugh. sinus things are the worst, they make me want to lose my head.

    i get like one email a week to my work address and sometimes it's spam.

    yes and yes.

    and i dyed my hair red again. well, auburn and pink.


By Ronda on Thursday, July 24, 2003 - 11:25 am:

    ponette?

    P-O-N-E-T-T-E ?

    tom hanks?

    its about the mouse lug-nuts...

    poor ponette... and to think that a mouse should out live her mother


By Spider on Thursday, July 24, 2003 - 11:36 am:

    Huh.

    What mouse? I'm confused.


    Heather, was the pink intentional? (Last time I dyed my hair black, a big clump on the side turned orange. A mystery...)


By heather on Thursday, July 24, 2003 - 11:44 am:

    part of your confusion comes from not seeing the suckass green mile



    hah

    yes, it was intentional


By Ronda on Thursday, July 24, 2003 - 12:04 pm:

    heather, your posts remind me of the movie Mine Own Executioner...


    burgess meredith dyed his hair red, though it really was pink... read his autobiography


By Ronda on Thursday, July 24, 2003 - 12:24 pm:

    anyone see Nonvette Vague, directed by jean-luc godard?

    I trust that you, heather, are into the french new wave film trend

    butt, of course you are


By Antigone on Thursday, July 24, 2003 - 12:51 pm:

    Ronda, your posts remind me of the John Carpenter movie "Prince of Darkness"

    Decent execution of a novel approach to a tired, chiched genre.


By Ronda on Thursday, July 24, 2003 - 01:01 pm:

    thanks for noticing

    and you?

    what about you?

    do you dye your hair?


By Antigone on Thursday, July 24, 2003 - 01:51 pm:

    Aw, fuckdick, I misspelled "cliched."


By eri on Thursday, July 24, 2003 - 01:53 pm:

    "Last time I dyed my hair black, a big clump on the side turned orange. A mystery"

    It's the hair cuticle (sp?)that causes that. Try using a filler on the hair before you dye the hair (they are pretty cheap at Sally's and other beauty supply stores). It evens out the cuticle on the hair strand so that the color will take evenly. I had the same thing happen to me once. I had gone blonde (looked like shit on me) and went to go back, but ended up with a green stripe around the back because I didn't use filler. Next time used a filler and color took evenly.

    I went auburn (well it turned out auburn) recently. I only used 20 volume developer so it didn't really lighten that much. I was going for a shocking red color, but I was lazy and ended up auburn.


By Kibo on Thursday, July 24, 2003 - 02:38 pm:

    i'm micronesian, and currently enrolled in classes at inland akron u

    many thanks to panther and ronda xoxoxo!!!!

    i'm a post-grad island exchange student studying deoxyribonucleic acids and eastern european proctology - so if you ever need disemboweled

    have you ever poled a balas on lake titicaca?

    it is an old inca tradition, much like dying hair cuticles







By Vance on Thursday, July 24, 2003 - 02:56 pm:

    interesting analogy

    i am exchange student, i am new to this foreign land, great site for meeting other ua student with this in common

    i major in proctology, too, and i will move to kalahari to bring relief to the san people who still believe that they can survive only by digging into the subsurface water table so as to eliminate their waste



By Antigone on Thursday, July 24, 2003 - 03:03 pm:

    I'm getting tired of Ronda. Anyone want me to out her?


By Kibo on Thursday, July 24, 2003 - 03:08 pm:

    what a noble mission

    do they drink this water that has become polluted because of backed-up entrails?

    tragically, the nuclear explosion at chernobly in 1986 has contaminated much of the marshes with radiation fallout and has effected pripet



By Vance on Thursday, July 24, 2003 - 03:15 pm:

    so, what about mount rainier's potential for generating mud flows?

    do you agree that they are enhanced by its soft interior and surrounding valleys?


By Kibo on Thursday, July 24, 2003 - 03:19 pm:

    yes indeed.

    take, for example, alaska's mount redoubt.


By heather on Thursday, July 24, 2003 - 03:20 pm:

    i suppose it depends on what you mean by
    "out"

    but i doubt i'll complain


By Spider on Thursday, July 24, 2003 - 03:23 pm:

    Well, I don't know what you mean by "out" her, so I don't want to say yes or no. I think that "lively" has become "divorced from reality," and it's kind of annoying. But then we tolerate others' annoying and divorced-from-reality political ramblings...


By dave. on Thursday, July 24, 2003 - 03:24 pm:

    do it to it.


By Vance on Thursday, July 24, 2003 - 03:27 pm:

    ah, yes i see.

    the most recent eruption was on 12/14/89

    three months after a major eathquake on the san andreas fault, and of course having formed mud flows in the drift river valley, which empties into the cook inlet 20 miles (35 kilos) away


By Kibo on Thursday, July 24, 2003 - 03:40 pm:

    while tides are principally effected by earth's relation to the sun and moon, would you agree that antigone is something akin to grand manan, in the bay of fundy?


By Vance on Thursday, July 24, 2003 - 03:49 pm:

    yes.

    i bet he buys bottled water from lake poopo's
    market


By Kibo on Thursday, July 24, 2003 - 03:57 pm:

    he is all dried-up, you are right


By Vance on Thursday, July 24, 2003 - 04:03 pm:

    look for me in proctology lecture 1022.05 @ 6.05pm
    for more of the interesting exchange of dialogue

    i have the pink hair

    it is natural


By Kibo on Thursday, July 24, 2003 - 04:07 pm:

    flam dawg!

    there are people who would dye to have your hair

    see you in class


By Antigone on Thursday, July 24, 2003 - 04:11 pm:

    search that page for "Ronda"

    Same person? Maybe.


By Antigone on Thursday, July 24, 2003 - 04:16 pm:

    another possibility, again search for "Ronda"


By Antigone on Thursday, July 24, 2003 - 04:18 pm:

    There, I dun did it. Probably gonna have another LucyGate.


By Spider on Thursday, July 24, 2003 - 04:20 pm:

    Gosh, I'd hope that a 30-something Master's-holding person working in the field of Psychology would be more serious-minded than to act like a prick on a stranger's message board. Or at least know not to use her real name.


By Dougie on Thursday, July 24, 2003 - 04:21 pm:

    What up with that spelling of Ronda? IT'S "RHONDA" FOR CHRISSAKES!

    Fucking Akronians.


By Spider on Thursday, July 24, 2003 - 04:33 pm:

    I know. The R-H combination is so nice...why get rid of it? (Riannon....AUGHHH!)


By Spider on Thursday, July 24, 2003 - 04:35 pm:

    I know. The R-H combination is so nice...why get rid of it? (Riannon....AUGHHH!)


By Dougie on Thursday, July 24, 2003 - 04:39 pm:

    'cause she's a tard?


By Spider on Thursday, July 24, 2003 - 04:42 pm:

    How did that happen?


By Dougie on Thursday, July 24, 2003 - 04:42 pm:

    'cause you're a tard?


By dave. on Thursday, July 24, 2003 - 04:42 pm:


By DOUGIE on Thursday, July 24, 2003 - 04:43 pm:

    JUST KIDDING SPIDER!!!


By J on Thursday, July 24, 2003 - 04:53 pm:

    The fact that she works in human resources makes her even scarier.


By dave. on Thursday, July 24, 2003 - 05:00 pm:

    it might not be her.


By Ronda on Thursday, July 24, 2003 - 05:08 pm:

    I'm fucking disgusted with you boys!!!!!!

    and I really, really mean it - FOR REAL

    what is this?

    explain - NOW

    where in the hell have you been, vance and kimo?

    you missed MY class... to hell with your damn proctology professor

    i mean it panther, you have these boys up each other's asses 24/7


By patrick on Thursday, July 24, 2003 - 05:10 pm:

    boooooooooring


    and proctology word play is so.....


    middle school.


By Ronda on Thursday, July 24, 2003 - 05:16 pm:

    and,who in the hell wants pink hair?

    little bitches in middle school with pierced clits, that's who


By Spider on Thursday, July 24, 2003 - 05:19 pm:

    See, this is what I mean by picking on Heather.


By Ronda on Thursday, July 24, 2003 - 05:21 pm:

    hell, just spit it out, patrick

    proctology word play is so YOU

    asshole


By patrick on Thursday, July 24, 2003 - 05:25 pm:


By Dougie on Thursday, July 24, 2003 - 05:37 pm:

    I prefer to think of Ronda as more of a gagger.


By J on Thursday, July 24, 2003 - 05:39 pm:

    I thought she was too busy playing with her dildo to post yesterday.She's clearly a mental case.


By Ronda on Thursday, July 24, 2003 - 05:46 pm:

    it was healthy for heather to have provided you with the link to her heart

    lemmings always dive off the cliff to their death
    in tribal fashion

    leitmotif:

    I was wrong about you patrick, you're oral retentive and not ashamed to let the world know

    goodly man!


By Lemming no. 294 on Thursday, July 24, 2003 - 05:49 pm:

    Dude, that cliff over there looks totally gnarly. Let's go!


By Ronda on Thursday, July 24, 2003 - 05:58 pm:

    j, you can't help yourself

    your posts tell the world that you're a wienie who takes it like a wuss

    how is it for you?

    how's johnny been hangin?


By Suggestion Man on Thursday, July 24, 2003 - 06:03 pm:

    everyone start doing impressions of Ronda. I think that will make her go away.


By Dougie on Thursday, July 24, 2003 - 06:05 pm:

    No, her posts tell us she's a wonderful lady who has a great sense of humor and who is very treasured around here.

    Your posts do exactly the opposite.


By Ronda Rowlf on Thursday, July 24, 2003 - 06:06 pm:

    suggestion man that is so like you

    mountain lions tend to weep when their cub is taken back to its video box to entertain the children.

    your post is like a turd falling into my mouth

    do you think you realize what you thought?
    I didnt think so.

    ever seen Heartbeeps? Theres more life in that movie than in your piddly wang of a post. You are dismissed.


By Ronda Rowlf on Thursday, July 24, 2003 - 06:09 pm:

    Dougie you thuggie

    you should be gangbanged. That will put some erection in your section, which is where it needs to be to get you to say something intelligent.

    I AM SPARTACUS

    I AM SPARTACUS

    I AM SPARTACUS

    I AM SPARTACUS


By Kibo on Thursday, July 24, 2003 - 06:13 pm:

    lemming #294, go climb tonga trench seamont and take a deep breath, AND HOLD IT

    you patriot are a vagrant and a deranged derelict and for you there is no other cure

    antigone, let me desalinize your bottled water, your tongue is dragging


By J on Thursday, July 24, 2003 - 06:17 pm:

    Why my jonny's been hanging just fine,how do those turds falling in your mouth taste?


By Dougie on Thursday, July 24, 2003 - 06:18 pm:

    Pas mal, Rowlf, pas mal du tout.


By Ronda Rowlf on Thursday, July 24, 2003 - 06:19 pm:

    Kibo lemming #007 hold this towel while I change

    monkey men like you swing from vines because you'd see their weak genitalia when they walk the earth

    your name should be Cable because with you theres so much going on but nothing worth watching.


By f f dummings on Thursday, July 24, 2003 - 06:26 pm:

    Ok, must be going 'cuz there's so much to do,
    Coffee to brew,
    And nuts to chew,
    So ta ta in this land,
    See you in the next,
    Where fairies wear boots,
    And gorillas read text.


By Dickhardly on Thursday, July 24, 2003 - 06:30 pm:

    my gonads ache in fear of men like you limp one


By Ronda on Thursday, July 24, 2003 - 06:38 pm:

    my gonads skriek in unashamed fear, at the thought
    of spindly men such as you, drippy limp one

    words straight from j's mouth

    honest


By heather on Thursday, July 24, 2003 - 06:40 pm:

    christ almighty


    has anyone emailed the ronda's to tell them
    that somone is leaving a bad impression of
    them?


    i was going to divulge some humorous
    personal information of myself here, but have
    chickened out.


By Antigone on Thursday, July 24, 2003 - 06:59 pm:

    I just provide the information. You do with it what you will. :)


By Antigone on Thursday, July 24, 2003 - 07:01 pm:

    Here's some huorous personal information: today I'm wearing some of my girlfriend's Dove antipersperant. I smell like a fucking nurse.


By Ronda on Thursday, July 24, 2003 - 07:15 pm:

    antigone, your tongue is dragging more that ever

    there is a dove antipersperant for boys, or are you a girl?

    are you antigone, or dave, or heather, or j...


By Antigone on Thursday, July 24, 2003 - 07:19 pm:

    Me boy.

    Me Antigone.

    Me nobody else.


By CHUPACABRA on Thursday, July 24, 2003 - 07:20 pm:

    WHAT ABOUT ME, YOU GOAT SUCKING ASSHOLE??


By One a day on Thursday, July 24, 2003 - 07:25 pm:

    imposter


By Antigone on Thursday, July 24, 2003 - 07:34 pm:

    Thanks for reminding me to take my multivitamin.


By Antigone on Thursday, July 24, 2003 - 07:38 pm:

    your problem is that you consume too many GE foods

    thank, in part, the FDA for it


By Ronda on Thursday, July 24, 2003 - 07:40 pm:

    the above post is ronda's


By Ronda on Thursday, July 24, 2003 - 07:45 pm:

    you are great fun

    I'm tired and signing off for the nite

    sharpen your pencils and watch your back...


By patrick on Thursday, July 24, 2003 - 08:21 pm:

    oral retentive?


    clearly you arent paying attention.

    nothing could be further from the truth.



    or wait.


    was that humor?


    ronda londa ding dong


By agatha on Thursday, July 24, 2003 - 08:47 pm:

    They spelled Connecticut and Massachusetts wrong on that Akron website. Fuckin' tards.

    Patrick, that article was funny.


By Ronda on Thursday, July 24, 2003 - 09:38 pm:

    I pooped my pants


By Rowlf on Thursday, July 24, 2003 - 09:38 pm:

    the above post is Ronda's


By Annie on Thursday, July 24, 2003 - 10:01 pm:

    patrick,tighten your bolts air-head!

    your posts are nothing more than your little brain leaking out and draining onto my screen in the form of an indistinguishable puddle, resembling that of an odorless emesis in the color of a seedy, and obnoxious pea-green, foul, and bitter bile...

    ronda londa ding dong?

    i've been quiet for long enough...

    what do you imply, you insidious brute?

    you johnny bearer...

    do you honestly believe that ronda is intimidated by your frank and beans?

    bearer of great riches?

    ha!

    i was once married to a eunuch and conceived ...
    five different times!

    think what you will, you arrogant, finger-flagging nay-sayer

    i wish eternal sagging and dimpling of your ding dong

    take a dinghy over the ominous ring of fire and stuff it.


By Panther on Thursday, July 24, 2003 - 10:09 pm:

    agatha, you're a pathetic dick tease


By J on Thursday, July 24, 2003 - 10:15 pm:

    Go back to sniffing and eating stools.


By Dani on Thursday, July 24, 2003 - 10:19 pm:



    I'd be willing to bet that Agatha can tease a mean fuckin' dick.
    With no complaints from Dave.


By Question Mark on Thursday, July 24, 2003 - 10:28 pm:

    ?????

    smorgan me dorgan?

    ????

    meep meep der monk?

    ?????

    SMASHING!


By moonit on Thursday, July 24, 2003 - 10:33 pm:

    oh dear.


By Kibo on Thursday, July 24, 2003 - 10:54 pm:

    on the island, a dick tease is a woman who dances fully clothed around a group of men who are completely naked

    the strongest of them is holding a dildo and a jar of island lube

    each one must dip in a pool of scented island oil before hand, then bend over and touch the toes of the woman as she shakes her well developed breasts

    she then sprinkles each with pheromones as she incants:

    JUST DO IT strong man, i want you, and only you

    of course she is a whore and a liar and such is her penance


By Vance on Thursday, July 24, 2003 - 11:00 pm:

    do you imply that j is the strong man among them?


By Kibo on Thursday, July 24, 2003 - 11:01 pm:

    no


By agatha on Friday, July 25, 2003 - 01:14 am:

    Heh. Dick tease, now that's funny!


By moonit on Friday, July 25, 2003 - 01:19 am:

    we call them cock-teasers.


By Kibo on Friday, July 25, 2003 - 01:36 am:

    vance, i merely explain the island penal code...

    for a woman to act on impulse over and over and over and over again, well, she will be punished by old and much valued customs

    whores are not accepted people on micronesia, and the weak and limp males get rammed in their stead...

    we do not have the money or the resources to house the lawbreakers...

    if public humiliation fails... they are lined up and driven off of the cliff of no return


By Vance on Friday, July 25, 2003 - 01:48 am:

    is it possible that some can reach the inland?

    do you imply that possibly j is one of the few who made it?


By Kibo on Friday, July 25, 2003 - 01:52 am:

    yes and yes.

    it may also explain his passion for dildos.


By J on Friday, July 25, 2003 - 03:37 am:

    I'm a woman asshole,and I think that putrid ronda is behind this,go fuck yourself.


By Ronda Rowlf on Friday, July 25, 2003 - 09:18 am:

    I'm a asshole, woman, and I think that putrid fuck is this Ronda. Go behind yourself!


By Kibo on Friday, July 25, 2003 - 09:27 am:

    moonit, you are ignorant of the ways of the
    islanders

    there are no cock-teases, only traditional cock-fights

    when a woman has reached the age of sexual consent,or 31 years of age, she is permitted to select from the few, remaining stong men, a studly mate for life, or until he begins to show signs of sagging

    in the event that he does, he becomes nanny to the island children, and the woman is free to select a new mate

    the selectee is no younger than 18 and no older than 21, and he is a virgin

    he must have the chiseled features of the greek god apollo - and ready, he must be ready

    his life work is cut out and he is to indulge the woman at all times according to her whims

    the island women are among the most beautiful - with fully developed interests

    the cock-fights take place after the woman has danced naked in front of a small group of fully clothed men, sitting on bar stools with their hands tied behind their backs

    she does a lap dance for each one, and she wants only the strongest, as they are equally handsome

    she then covers herself and retires to her dwelling as she awaits the winner

    cock-fights are legal on the island

    it is illegal to abuse roosters...and other like males of different species

    we are a law abiding, moralalistic people...

    unlike the inlanders




By Vance on Friday, July 25, 2003 - 10:17 am:

    i am reminded of an icelandic prose narrative of the twelveth century

    there was this venerable wise man - his name was sage

    he discovered the many uses of saffron and put them to goodly use

    the term yellow-belly originated from one of his concoctions

    the weak and limp were made to lie face to the dirt on the ground on their bellies on a pile of dried orange-yellow stigmas of a kind of crocus


By Ronda on Friday, July 25, 2003 - 10:19 am:

    stop picking on heather


By Ronda on Friday, July 25, 2003 - 11:44 am:

    annie, thankyou dear for setting the record straight...

    patrick is pretty darn dingy

    we should get together over lunch and catch-up on the past

    its been years - I'll bet you look the same


By dave. on Friday, July 25, 2003 - 12:10 pm:

    i propose that this thread be given to ronda, so it can finish its story uninterrupted.


By Spider on Friday, July 25, 2003 - 12:14 pm:

    Seconded.


By heather on Friday, July 25, 2003 - 12:32 pm:

    that's what was happening till you interrupted



    DAVE.



    <smiles to both of you>


By Ronda on Friday, July 25, 2003 - 02:15 pm:

    I have no story to tell, dave.

    the story is your's...


By semillama on Friday, July 25, 2003 - 05:26 pm:

    "Boy with ants crawling out of his eye baffle doctors

    PTI

    BURDWAN: After the baffling case of the boy who passed live flies while urinating, an eleven year old was on Thursday admitted to a government hospital for investigation why black ants were crawling out of his left eye since last week.

    A resident of Tahala village of Birbhum district, Abu Bakkar, a farmer's son, was first taken to the district headquarters hospital at Suri with his bizarre complaint, from where he was referred to the Burdwan Medical College and Hospital here.

    The left eye of the boy was swollen and had a reddish appearance. Black ants were emerging at regular intervals, hospital sources said.

    He would be kept under observation for two days, the sources said.

    Incidentally, it was at this very hospital that 13-year-old Chandan Goswami, was admitted last month after he began ejecting live flies while passing urine.

    Goswami's case had also baffled doctors, who initially thought that larvae from eggs laid by a fly which had somehow entered his body was responsible for the phenomenon.

    He was shifted to the SSKM Hospital at Kolkata, where after a cysto-urothrescopy, doctors declared that it could be a stray case of flies coming from an external source and falling in while the boy was urinating."

    There's an analogy for you....


By J on Friday, July 25, 2003 - 06:37 pm:

    They must be driving that poor kid buggy.


By Ronda on Friday, July 25, 2003 - 06:55 pm:

    too animated, I applaud you.

    in your usual twisted sort of way, its more of an allegory due to all of the ancillary verbage

    there is nothing anechoic about that there application of metaphores and similes...no-sir-re!

    it sounds like the boy in your story is suffering from urosepsis...

    no blood and urine culture?

    did he have a temp^102.5?
    _
    did it drop suddenly c evidence of infection still present

    what were his bp,p,r, and stats: spo2?

    is he an insulin dependent diabetic? if so was he under 120 and over 90?
    _
    was his eye flushed s a saline sloution? yes? bad thing.

    what medications is he currently taking, if any?


By heather on Friday, July 25, 2003 - 07:03 pm:

    it's a fairy-tale, a miracle, a sign


    you just wait and see


By Ronda on Friday, July 25, 2003 - 07:03 pm:

    as always, you are a lot of fun.

    I have an early and busy day tommorrow.

    sleep well, smart asses


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