drool and breadcrumbs

i seet on bart, majic wondder. some kid next door, no, not bart. i seet on muni, some kid next door. him ipod hum and crack and beat. across is a perfect doll woman, painted plastic, perfect eyes. none good girls have perfect eyes. aside her another girl, won’t look at me. i read my book. we get off at clay and sansome. get off with all the business people. this our stop, she say. we get off good. cross street. climb stairs. i have grey light job. small boxes. computer screens. type type. free drinks in cooler. diet peach snapple. cancer in rats. bad coffee. type type type. i have cold office sweatshirt. i have extra cold mouse hand. i take two shits. i read the examiner. i piss frequently just to walk around. we have lunch as team. fine dining on corporate amex. crab sandwich. lychee iced tea. me and the balkan fiddler leave before desert. we work folk. we deadline conscious. we dedicated cogs. i seet on bart. ears pop under the bay. some girl i smell her pants. some girl with need laundry pants. she flex her legs and i imagine her trying to sex me. i won’t look up. focus these words there. focus this book. i seet on bart and she stand. i flinch and glance at the brown skin between pant and shirt. her hands on bar lifting shirt. i focus this book but she seen me. she seen me. she reaches in with one knee and her thigh brushes me. seduction this girl. i seet real still focus this book. she get off twelfth street oakland. i watch her through bart windows. she just a girl, no different. she catch my eye and i focus this book. i get off rockridge station. i shuffled down stairs. i pass through gates. i walk up clairmont. i walk out of oakland. i walk in the sun. i buy twentytwo ounce beer. i walk treelined streets. i read book. drink beer. shirtless in sun on stoop. old lady and child. man woman and child. i think fatherhood like i think old joke. tired punchline. simple premise. grand fraud, grand larceny, gran faux, big wool little eyes. pull the sheep down all around you. i don’t know nothing from nothing. i don’t know can fill the ocean. i don’t know where i’ve been. i don’t know why i’m here. i don’t know how to push out or pull up. this one criminal act. this world life. this one grand feat. slight of hand. don’t look, i’m fooling you.