fucko. last week i heard that KROGER fucking INC was planning to change our shoe department from service to self-serve. today i found out that, instead of the plan being put into action two or three YEARS from now, fred meyer will look more like a wal-mart or a mervyn's starting DECEMBER 6TH. SHIT ON A STICK, DAMMIT BITCH, I'VE BEEN YOUR WAGE SLAVE, YOUR SHOE WHORE FOR OVER A YEAR NOW AND THIS IS HOW YOU REPAY ME? FUCKO, YOU DON'T DESERVE ANYONE BUT THE BUTT-LICKERS IN YOUR MANAGEMENT (ASSHOLES). they can't fire me for no reason because they're not shutting it down, but i don't feel that the shoe department is worthy of my presence any longer. i'm going to check out monster.com and a couple other sites. i have a job lead for crater lake that could provide me with free room if i get it. texaco offers 75% tuition reimbursement. fed-ex starts at $8.50 to $9 per hour with guranteed raises after thirty and ninety days. i'm young, strong and polite. who wouldn't want to hire me?

FUCKO! SHITTY-SHIT ASSSEX ON THE CRAP-DIRT FLOOR! FUCKO!

Recently i have discovered that I hate working with the public. I have discovered this since I have been doing Temping work in factories and warehouses, it really made me realise how awkward and irritating customers can be! and Temping pays better!

People suck.

but dangit tho. if i can stop being lethargic, i'll be fine. don't insult me or i'll spit in your eye all that. i'll turn pirate. i'm going to form a punk band "pirates of kansas" and we'll sing sea chantys. i started talkinga bout punk seamen at work on (what was it) monday and this guy's face goes extermely red and he had to stop tying the shoes he was trying on. shanghai ohio stan' by yer cap'n a pirate's life sailing from armada hello father, bonjour mama (the sex song) pieces of seven sauerkraut beaverface super meanie girlie head queen of the sea "you've a viking for yer father and a whore you yer mother and a parrot can be your best friend but if you've anything left more than your final breath don't trust them in the end"

super meanie girlie head now thats a classic Pez! i was humming it to myself in the garden the other day!

Fuck am I lost now.

WE've been referring to ourselves as pirates around the office, especially after we (the underdog) have found out that the State Historic Preservation Officer has said that we are "at war" with our competition (next door and huge in the state) and that we are winning. I had the idea that we should start flying the Jolly Roger.

Y'all know that I've been obsessed with pirates since I was 11 and am currently looking at my pirate statue that sits at my desk at work and have Howard Pyle's "The Flying Dutchman" thumbtacked to the bulletin board behind me, right? Oxford Press puts out a great book of sea shanties. I was humming "Gloucester Girls" to myself when I was in Boston a few weeks ago: Gloucester girls, they have no combs Heave away, heave away They comb their hair with codfish bones Heave away, my darling [something] There's actually a sea shanty festival in Gloucester, Mass. every year. Yes, I am a geek. I'm sorry.

Arrrrrrrr M'matey. Blast ye' fuckers.

It's a good thing that we're all going to the Pirate's Alley Cafe in NO, ya?

Aye! What did the pirate name his daughter? Peggy.

"We are the pirates...who don't do anything..."

fucko. avast ye mateys! the land's on starboard! STARBOARD!!!!

hal. super meanie girlie head

did i tell you guys my hip-hop DJ name? S-oteric in da house when i get a job and make money again, i'm getting turntables. i thought KROGER fucking INC was a grocery store.

but KROGER fucking INC also owns qfc and fred meyer. kroger is a grocery store too. but people tell me that it sucks ass.

Arr!I crewed with Barnacle Bill the Sailor.HE could sing a sea chanty. Pez,can J and I,be in charge of the rum-running in your operation?

yes, you can be the rum-runners of the operation. i've made a flyer and distributed it around a bit. "hey you!" "do you like saying 'arrrrr' alot?" "do you play a strange twisted instrument such as accordian, bongos or kazoo (though we won't stone you if you play something normal)?" "do you like the d.i.y. ethic, good music, monty python's flying circus or scaring your grandma by dressing up in her good blouse and getting paint all over it?" "if you do, or even if you don't, you might want to join the pirates of kansas!" "we, okay, okay, only me so far, will be a super kick ass punk rock pirate band. we can wear eyepatches and bandannas and carry fake cutlasses and be totally cool grrrish people. it will be part band, part circus, part performance art and even if nothing never comes of it, a ton of fun dressing up in pirate costumes and saying 'avast ye mateys!'" "so anyway, please email me, pez, at pez@bust.com. you can also see some of my crazy whacked out writing at http://fortunecooki.diaryland.com." "so any way, please please please please pleeeeeeeeeeease email me and we'll talk and form a band and it will be fun. i promise."

Pick me! Pick me! I love playing in booty.Monty Python is my hero.No one can scare a grandma better than me.Or a mother,or brother,or sister,or an unsuspecting neighbor,or the store lady,or the guy at the drive thru fast food window. Pick J,too.She is a rum expert,AND,can ride a unicycle! You need us.

yesh yesh! a big big punk rock pirate band! *grin* c'est superb!

speaking of pirate bands, whatever happened to adam ant?

could i form the UK contingent of the band? even though i dont play any instruments anymore? pleeeease? arr. (see i can do that part well!)

what do you mean ANYMORE? you can play anything you want. go bang a garbage can with a broom handle or something. learn spoons. sure. and that ARRRRRR isn't good enough. c'mon. ARRRRRRRRRRRRR!

Mmmmm....Adam Ant...

Covered in chocolate and lightly sauteed..... Mmmmmm Adam Ant.... I'll play the harmonica, because I actually know how to play it. Wow a actual reason to use a skill I though was pointless.

I can play the Mouth Harp, the Nose Flute, and various percussion instruments, including spoons. I once had a trumpet. I also have a set of turntables.

jaw harp, bits of harmonica, fife and bamboo flute, besides actual flute, saxaphone two chords on guitar, piano and clarinet (by ear only for the last).

I have real gypsy blood in me.That should be good for something. Maybe I can tell fortunes,or rub balls,or somethin'.

You can rub... ah, nevermind. You can tell my fortune though.

Wow, ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! here i am the official UK pirate band co-ordinator! (now that was a ARRRRRRR and a half Pez!) Im sure i could perasuade my fellow night workers to join in, (we could bang pallets with rolls of stretchwrap and hit roll-cages with the sharp metal thingy from the bailer) we are rather rebellious and pirate-esque

i've been in astoria saturday night, so i reasearched the goonies a bit while i was there. i found out (1) the goonie house is for sale and (2) they're planning a sequel after 17 years. i also got a huge book of irish music in treble clef, i'm going to experiment with my tone to get something closer to a pipe or penny whistle do i can do jigs.

I'm in a constant search for a penny whistle that's plays a blues scale.

that would be cool. i forget sometimes about how difficult it is to get a full range out of fifes and pennywhistles-- you have to do some strange fingerings covering half the hole and so on. in that perspective, playing the flute is much easier. but you couldn't tuck a standard flute into your pocket or pack like a fife or pennywhistle. lark in the morning

try soprano recorder

Dude! I used to live next door to their mendocino store. And I have lots of friends who tuck flutes into their packs. Just get a durable case.

i meant caseless. i've got my flute in my pack right now. you don't have to be as gentle with recorders and stuff. then again, i used to borrow a piccolo from the school that was little more than a sophisticated pea-shooter. you could pull the cork out and use it for pea-shooting, spit-ball-volleying and so on. i miss that picc. lalalalalalalalala.... (bust, please fix yourself so i can at least pretend to access my email...)

I played the frying pan with my friend Justin Saturday night. He played guitar. OTher musical happenings included Kiko and his one song accordion, Possi and a gaggle of Finns singing Finnish folk songs, Glade singing his stuff, and so on. See the thread I am about to start about the merits of partying with Finns.

Pez, get your self a bamboo straight flute. I can't remember the oriental name but they are really cool. Monks used to carry them because they wern't allowed to carry weapons and these flutes were a form of meditation, and could also be used to beat some ass if necissary. They sound really cool to, a friend of mine has one that I'm learning to play, once you get the mouth part right (which is compleatly different then a normal flute) it gets easy and you don't need to know anything you just blow and make music up as you go. ITs good shit, and nothing scarier then seeing a Amazon woman advancing on you with a bamboo stick, with intentions of either playing music or kicking your ass.

i sat down at a kit this weekend after a year hiatus. It was a trashy, loud tama, yamaha or someother piece of shit brand like it. Loud motherfucker with big ass loud shitsack cymbals. I hate those loud cockrock kits. They just compensate for lack of talent with volume. They sound like shit. I like my kit like i like my women, small, tight, easy to finesse...stroke em right and they coo you something wonderful...the control lies in my wrists, not in their skins. hey fuckers! how ya doing fuckers! i only went 3 days back, so I have no idea whats going on. hey fuckers! so if i missed something, don't get all smart on me in a "we talked about this last week weiner weiner neener neener pay attention" way. i'll talk about vegas at somepoint.

Please do. I saw the magazine with the photographs and the designed sweaters and stuff... That guys sweater looks pretty cool, I'd love to order one.

a dizi? a shakuhachi? is it end-blown or a whistle mouthpiece? or even a transverse style cross-blown flute? please describe. my email's working again, thankfully.

Its an end-blown, big hole at both ends with a little cleft taken out of the end you blow in the whole thing is about 2 feet total in length. and about an inch in diameter.

might be a shakuhachi, then. do you know what country? orental is used to describe anywhere from japan to persia.

Chinese I think, the reason I say so is it was carried by buddist monks.

there are buddists from india to japan, traditionally. i know there is a chinese version of the shakuhachi which it was based upon, but i don't know the name.

hey pez, they're hiring at the library I work at. woooweeooo! the detailed discription of the job lists Verbal Abuse at 10%. Stupid! Patrons! !!

where are you gee? i'll bet they'll want a "customer service" 1-year experienced 19-year-old college dropout working for them. anyhow, i got some good news today: 50% monthly all-zone tri-met passes if i can manage to find a form that saying i won't have any other way to get to work. which is true. work is in east gresham. home is soon to be north portland. ther is at least 14 miles in between. and no car after the move. and i'll still be covered for medical and dental.

I'm in Toronto. that's quite a commute. the cool thing about the library is that everyone is equally qualified. this job takes no special skills or talents. as long as you can read, you can do this job. but it does help if you lie and say you've worked at a library before.