| THIS IS A READ-ONLY ARCHIVE FROM THE SORABJI.COM MESSAGE BOARDS (1995-2016). |
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laxative effect? I realize that caffeine is supposed to make you constipated, but in my own experience (and stepfather's) this has happened, however some people don't believe me and I need some back up. Thanks |
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As for now....excuse me, it's time for coffee poop. |
No breakfast for Spunky now. |
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now that the mrs is pregnant, the eating habits have shifted a bit in the waffle house. im learning the the benefits of wholegrain cereal. you can practically set a watch that stuff, from the last spoonful to the bathroom. oh and apple juice and cranberry juice as well. |
Recently, I have discovered that greasy food does. I won't eat Donato's pizza ever again. The last time I did, I clogged a buddie's toilet on the day he moved into his new house. Now I could talk a lot about beer shits, those I know all about.... |
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SCENE 1 -- A Dimly lit Italian restaurant, table for two in the back. Kaz and Sem are holding hands over a just uncorked bottle of Chianti. After ordering, Kaz leans over to Sem, and looks lovingly at him. Kaz--(meekly) Sem, um, do you ever, you know, after drinking a lot of coffee, um, find you need to...use the toilet? Sem-- Of course my dearest, coffee's a diuretic you know. After a couple of cups, I could put a racehorse to shame. They say you don't buy coffee, you rent it. Or is that beer? Probably beer, but the same could be said for coffee. Kaz-- No, I know that, but I mean, does drinking coffee make you have to, you know, go number two? Sem-- Coffee poops? You mean like beer shits? Hell no, but I could wax poetic to you about beer shits. Them I knows about. Kaz-- Later, sweetheart. Anyways, I was talking to my girlfriends about it, and they all said that coffee has a laxative effect on them. Sem-- Well, your girlfriends are weird. I forbid you to ever see them or talk to them again. Kaz-- Alright my sweety lovey dovey poopie face, whatever you say. END SCENE 1 (By the way Sem, stay away from Donato's. Tommy's & Rotolo's are the ONLY way to go in Columbus!) |
The Coffee Enema (as a laxative): Coffee used in this way has a different effect on the body than if it were ingested orally. When used in an enema, it does not go through the normal digestion process. It is beneficial in treatment when used properly because it stimulates the liver to throw off toxins. Coffee enemas are used in cases of degenerative disease to help stimulate the liver to excrete toxins or "poison bile." This kind of enema is called a retention enema because it is help in or retained for fifteen minutes. As well as treatment for liver toxins, coffee enemas are used while fasting to relieve headaches caused by the build-up of toxins during detoxification. Caution: Do not use petroleum jelly on the tip of the enema- instead use 200 IU capsule of vitamin E to lubricate the end. DO NOT ABUSE THIS TREATMENT How to make it: Place two quarts of steam-distilled water in a pan and add six heaping tablespoons of ground coffee )don't use instant or decaffeinated). Boil for fifteen minutes, cool, and strain. Use only one pint of coffee at a time - save the rest in a jar. |
Patrick, That doesn't sound nearly as bad as the holy-do-it-yourself-applejiuce-olive oil gallbladder flush |
a while, and find that often after a smoke, or a coffee, it's POOP time. Also chewing tobacco will make you poop, or puke if you swallow er. |
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betcha cant find my chock full o beans. |
They called it a Murphy Drip. A friend of mine was making Murphy Drip (to drink, not for an enema) and forgot that it was boiling on the stove. It was boiled down to a moist scum on the bottom of the pan when he remembered it. He scraped the pan out with a spoon. He was talking on the phone at the time and was distracted... for some reason stuck the spoon in his mouth. He had a whole pot of strong coffee on a spoon. The next day he said he hadn't slept well. 'Keep the rest in a Jar' There's a conversation piece. A jar labeled "Ass Coffee" |
On another subject, I have been doing my kegels very regularly, and boy are they helping! |
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She is about ready to have her first baby. She looks at me in the lobby of work and asks me if after childbirth your vagina returns to it's normal size before pregnancy. It took all I had not to bust out laughing right then and there. That was the funniest post childbirth question I have ever been asked. I told her that if she wanted her old size back quickly that I recommend breastfeeding and doing your kegels. But it does take an average of 9 months to get back to what you were before childbirth. How is the baby agatha? |
Or is this another pregnancy thing I dont wanna know? |
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patrick, force your wife to do her kegels. tell her to do them every time she pees, so that she can tell if they are working. |
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can you imagine? |
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I love that website, Tbone. That guy is SO odd. |
or uhm, freeze it with some water in a popsicle mold and cram it. yeah, that might work too. |
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There have actually been some research studies using coffee enemas to treat cancer: http://tinyurl.com/4yy65 Not having had cancer or coffee enemas, I can't vouch for their effectiveness. But I'd try coffee enemas before I'd do chemo or radiation, For Sure! - RC |
agatha, i suppose you could just dabble some blow on your finger then shove it up there. not very lady like for sure otherwise i dunno. |
It would be like that Lik-A-Stik candies, but the adult version. Yes, if i was going to get blow into my ass, that is certainly the route i would go. |
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Miss ya! |
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Our families grew apart when we were young, so we don't know the other sides to our life (family), so it's just going to be some of my sisters and there kids...big fucking deal. Sorry for the words, but it's really nothing exciting. I don't get along with my family members, as they have teased me all my life. Their all pretty unhealthy and very over weight, so that makes them very unhappy people. I haven't seen one of my sisters in awhile and I have to be honest, I'm not looking forward to the visit. For some stupid reason, she is mad at me and refuses to communicate. I just can't figure it out, but I don't really care anymore. The thing that bothers me, she has taken the kids away from my son, so he has missed out on knowing his cousins. I have another sister, who did the same thing, so it's all abit strange to me. So you see, this reunion isn't going to be an awesome experience for me...but I will do it for my parents, that's it. Go with your sister and enjoy the hell out of yourself!!!!! I'm sorry your granparents went through all that stuff, but I'm sure it made them stronger people, you too. |
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Well, I'm off for a facial..chat with you later, my friend..xo |
Happy Valentine's Day!!!! |
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I don't think I want to live that long, but if I do, so be it..:) |
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I have lost many friends...murder, suicide, car accidents and illness. I just went and got my hair cut and went to someone new. This guy is 63 years old and we were talking about kids. Well, come to find out, I went to Catholic school with his daughter (8th grade). It was so weird, but interesting to hear how she is doing and she's doing quite well. We talked about this other girl..Jackie Kelley and he told me, she was murdered by her husband, for drug money. WOW!!! I was so sad, cause she was a beautiful girl and I thought nothing like this would ever happen, at least to anyone that I knew. I didn't know anything about it, cause it happened in Arizona. Man, that sucks! I don't like to think about death, but at times, I think about my parents. My parents are in there mid 70's, so the thought of mortality sets in. I also think about my son, cause it's something I never want to happen. He's my life! Don't think about it V, just go about life and be happy. Have you seen the movie..'City of Angels?' You need to see this movie and when you do, let me know what you think, okay? |
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