http://www.theage.com.au/breaking/0012/19/A7925-2000Dec19.shtml

more New Zealand weirdness

Hey, I wish our papers had more stories like those. Life would be a lot better.

move to NZ. not that they'd take you. but you can try.

i'm guessing sem has a crush on cat, considering the effort he's been expending investigating the doings of the oz media.

who *doesn't* have a crush on Cat?

Crush? Hell, I don't even have a crush on my right hand anymore. No crushes for me. I actually had to wade through all the extremley wierd shit that happens in the US to find even remotley weird stuff that goes on in the AU. The reason I did this was because on another thread, someone was bemoaning the fact that the US is such easy fodder for making fun of, because of all the stupid headlines, or something like that.

sarah's got a point

well, apparently sem's is serious because he's denying it hardcore. that and now i know he's a lefty.

Actually, I'm a switch-hitter. I deny it because it's true. I remember what crushes feel like, and I haven't had one since 1993.

Resistance is futile, Sem. I know you want me so bad you can taste crunchy koala toenails.

Are that a symptom, Cat? That must be why I woke up this morning thinking, "Koala Jello... Koala Jello..."

Sheeeeit, I'm grammar tied too...

Nate! trace subscribe to bizarre news www.bizarrenews.com

I need a crush... I'd move to NZ, but trying to figure out all that visa crap in moving and applying for citizenship is a pain. I'm to lazy for that.

I know. I nearly fell asleep trying to find that stupid website for you Hal. Actually you may be able to find the info from an immigration consultant. but it may cost you.

You didn't tell me you had koala toenails, Cat. Obviously this changes everything, and I must bow at your feet and hire kangaroos to strew rose petals from their pouches in your path as you float above the hallowed earth of Australia. The great thing about the kangaroo idea is that they can double as bodyguards to keep away the unwashed heathens.

Aw Sem, I knew you'd eventually see the light, even if you do just want me for my mammal bits, as opposed to my mammary bits. This could be the start of a new era of Oz-yank relations. Our respective embassies will be delighted. But don't you go scaring away the unwashed heathens. A girl in my position can't be too fussy.

Reminds me of that Simpsons episode where they go to Australia and Bart's going to get "booted" by the prime minister for tricking an Australian boy into accepting a $900 collect call. I love the sign on the parliament, something like: al Parliament-haus der Austr^ia I watch entirely too many Simpsons reruns.

(The al is supposed to be above the carat)

Yeah that was my problem with reading it, made me want to pass out. I don't know, they did mention seeking immagration advisors, I think that is what I would have to do. Seems like a good idea, I would just need a job and some sort of living arrangements before I commited.

the truly proper term is "enamoured" I think. I think "crush" is a wrestling term. Come to think of it, there's not much difference in the results: one gets one's testicles smashed either way. Hey sem, did you not tell me that Barry Fell's work was idiocy? I can't find the string in the archives. You think he is just blowing smoke, right? I've been re reading him a little now and then...is there anything you can suggest that's legitimate for the archeological sites/mounds in Ohio and Illinois? I've read Mound Builders, but can't find much else locally, even at the Cahokia site. thx.

Feel the love.

ok im feeling it its good to schtoop the boss

Please explain to me and to anyone else who might not know... What exatly is it to "schtoop" one's boss?

sorabji.com - fun for your whole mouth.

Makes mouth... Grimace for those who cannot handle the rawness of it all.

i stuck it to her hal.....i stuck it to the BOSS!!!!!!!!

Ok another question... You say you "stuck it to her." Ummm, did you stick it to her metaphorically or did you STICK IT TO HER???? I mean fucking one's boss can be a bad thing or a good thing, just depends on how your doing it.

I STUCK IT TO HER SIDEWAYS CHIEF!!!!!

I'M YOUR BOSS TOO PATTY

Daniel Try this for Cahokia.

Well damnit that is something to brag about... Good for you, hope she enjoyed it as much as you did.

i always spelled it "schtup".

I always spelled it "bonk"

yeah nate but you are like the village bicycle...everyone has had a ride.

Or maybe he's a bicycle looking for a village.

to me it seems the difference of a mousehole and the lincoln tunnel. god, that was very NATE-esq of me.

You know I always spelled it... Fucked, or screwed.

"Lilly Von Schtup" -- Madeline Kahn in Blazing Saddles

when you see a trans with nice tits, do you say "damn, he's got nice tits" or do you say "AH FUCK!! WHAT THE FUCK!!! AH JESUS WHAT THE FUCK!!"

I live in Montana... We don't have many of those up here, and to be honest they stay in their area of downtown... Because they live in Montana, we have alot of conservitive crazy hicks around here who don't like that kinda thing.

I live in Montana... We don't have many of those up here, and to be honest they stay in their area of downtown... Because they live in Montana, we have alot of conservitive crazy hicks around here who don't like that kinda thing.

AHHH... I hate my fucking computer.

about the snake story - you have to understand we don't have snakes here, except for unwelcome visitors from other countries (like Oz or SE Asia). We also only have one native poisonous spider, and it isn't deadly unless you're allergic (but the same could be said for bees). Of course, there are places you might find a red-back, but not many.

How do you Kiwis feel about being lumped together with the Aussies, anyway? I've wondered.

Yeah I've kinda wondered that too... My father once told me a story about being a corps man for the Navy, and he went to a bar in NZ that was a service bar. He was sitting with some buddies, across the room were some Aussie boys, some British boys, behind him were some kiwi's, and he said there was one canadian. The guy sitting next to him (a guy I know personally named john, who is crazy as hell, and an alcoholic to boot.) stands up piss drunk, climbs onto the table and loudly promotes a toast to the whole room. He said "I would like to promote a toast to the queen of England....." "FUCK THE QUEEN..." At this point in time every person in the bar stood up and proceded to fight, John on the otherhand did a swan dive the minute he said this and was unconsious on the floor. I'm telling you the guy is insane.

"(a guy I know personally named john, who is crazy as hell, and an alcoholic to boot.) " you say that like it's a bad thing.

No it wasn't a bad thing... The guy was really cool, he's the person who taught me everything I know about being insane and intoxicated at the same time and still being a competant human being.

We pretty much hate that the rest of the world doesn't know we are a completely separate country, with our own parliament, currency, accent, etc, etc. Thats probably why there is such intense sporting rivalry between NZ & Oz. On the other hand, they are our closest neighbours, even though they can't spell and pronounce six *seex* and pool *pu-el*. (I love watching aussies put on an upperclass accent - they sound just like kiwis!) When it takes 3 hours to fly to the next country, you know you really live in the middle of nowhere, and in some strange way, we envy the aussies their brashness, but not their criminal past (classic line from The Princess Bride - "Australia, as we all know is entirely populated by criminals"). Plus we both sort of gained an appreciatation of our own nationhood at Gallipoli, where the Brits sent large numbers of young men from the colonies ashore as cannon fodder. So there is a neighbourly bond. That said, I support New Zealand, and anyone playing against Australia! (don't care what sport)

oh wait.....you call Australia Oz? Oh wait....you are seperate countries? *ducks* Seriously I have never heard of the term Oz used in reference to Australia before.

But you must have heard Australians referred to as Aussies? It's only a short step from that to Oz (plus it saves typing). For all our griping, about our neighbours, there are an awful lot of kiwis who live there. Interestingly, they have the lowest uptake of Australian citizenship among all migrant groups. Even after twenty, thirty years they still call themselves kiwis and support the All Blacks.

aussies? yes! I think there are even hair products sold here in the states called Aussie with a kangaroo on the label. had it not been for the kangaroo, i would have never got it. aussie Oz aussie Oz. The only connection is phoenetic.....Aus would make much more sense.