americas love affair with inanimate objects continues....


sorabji.com: Are there any news?: americas love affair with inanimate objects continues....
THIS IS A READ-ONLY ARCHIVE FROM THE SORABJI.COM MESSAGE BOARDS (1995-2016).

By wisper on Tuesday, July 17, 2001 - 04:20 pm:

    this sort of thing would really bother me, if i wasn't laughing so hard.

    5th time in 12 years. Seriously, wtf.


By Nate on Tuesday, July 17, 2001 - 04:36 pm:

    they do that so they can sneak the real issues by unnoticed.


By Hal on Tuesday, July 17, 2001 - 05:02 pm:

    I think I'm going to cry I'm laughing so hard


By Trace on Tuesday, July 17, 2001 - 05:21 pm:

    Now you people are pissing me off.
    Dont you take any god damn pride in anything?
    I am serious about this subject.
    Yes, it is an inatimate object.
    But to discrace your country by burning it's symbol is horrid.
    Wreched, wreched people.
    Debate the morals, yes. Debate the laws, yes.
    But to stand up for the rights of jerks who want to burn the symbol of what protects your right to debate these things? If you hate the states that much, get the fuck out.

    I recently bought a flag to put up on my house. Included with a flag was a pamplet that said,
    "The nation is considered a living thing, so the flag that represents the nation is also considered a living thing. Treat it as such".

    Now, I am not ruled by pamplets, but it had a good point


By Trace on Tuesday, July 17, 2001 - 05:23 pm:

    But, it is america, and you do have the freedom of speech.

    If you want to be low-life enough to burn it, it is your right, and there should not be any low against it


By patrick on Tuesday, July 17, 2001 - 05:32 pm:

    oh jeeze.

    give me a fucking break.

    did you read the quote by colin powell? Pretty snappy eh?

    its not everyone's symbol. I didnt choose to be an american, i was born here.

    You can't dictate what the flag means to everyone. If you don't like the site of a burning flag, move along.

    Do you realize passing a law banning flag burning is doing EXACTLY opposite of what the flag is supposed to represent?

    Assuming i don't burn YOUR flag, why the fuck do you care?

    Its about as brilliant as if the British Monarchy passed a law 225 years ago saying dumping tea in a harbor is illegal? You see the futility?

    I can gurantee you, if that passes (which it wont) its a surefire way to see more flags burning.

    Don't want to see a flag burn, don't make it an issue.









    oh wait, i see your second post.



    oh well.








By Nate on Tuesday, July 17, 2001 - 05:35 pm:

    damn, trace is arguing with himself.


By Czarina on Tuesday, July 17, 2001 - 05:53 pm:

    And doing a damn fine job of it,too.


By Cat on Tuesday, July 17, 2001 - 06:07 pm:

    I think he's losing.


By wisper on Tuesday, July 17, 2001 - 06:12 pm:

    you know when spunky turns back into Trace, something is wrong. Like turning back into the Hulk.
    "Trace....crush.....filthy....commies...!"
    You're cute, spunkymonkey.
    It's facinating to watch the inner struggle.

    ......

    in other news, this article reminded me that i can't pick Trillium flowers. If i do, i will be fined and arrested. But they are endangered.


By J on Tuesday, July 17, 2001 - 06:46 pm:

    You guys are just jealous cause the little voices don't talk to you.


By Nate on Tuesday, July 17, 2001 - 07:33 pm:

    i'm jealous because the little voices tell me to be.


By Antigone on Tuesday, July 17, 2001 - 07:44 pm:

    eee choota baba me boota


By Nate on Tuesday, July 17, 2001 - 10:04 pm:

    oh-kay greedo.


By spunky on Wednesday, July 18, 2001 - 06:28 am:

    If everyone in America started burning the flag, what are the American Protesters in Iran going to start burning when they denounce us?


By Antigone on Wednesday, July 18, 2001 - 10:54 am:

    Themselves?


By Spider on Wednesday, July 18, 2001 - 11:16 am:

    Dude. I was thinking the same thing when I first saw this post this morning. Spooky.


By patrick on Wednesday, July 18, 2001 - 11:29 am:

    what the hell does that mean trace?

    there are American's protesting in Iran?

    Iranians protesting America?

    They are waiting to denounce us?

    ACTUALLY you are on to something trace....

    its sorta like gay rights protesters taking back the word "faggot" or feminist taking back the word "cunt". If we could use this logic....could it be possible id see those numbnuts Senator Hatch, Lott and the other cronies of the conservative guard buring flags????

    man...


By TBone on Wednesday, July 18, 2001 - 12:16 pm:

    Instead of taking the flag down every night, they should burn it and put a new one up in the morning.


By TBone on Wednesday, July 18, 2001 - 12:39 pm:

    The American Flag has always kind-of annoyed me. It's become irritating and gaudy to me. There are some countries (I should do some research here and find examples, but I won't) that limit the use of their flag for that very reason. If it's EVERYWHERE, people get tired of seeing it. It loses its meaning if it ever had any. Although I kinda like the Unamerican.com symbol of the upside-down flag.

    Flag burning doesn't seem like a big deal. It's just cloth. Or paper. Or whatever their flag is made out of. It has no particular meaning to me. Burning it seems a little extreme. I'd just throw it away.

    When I was younger, I was watching the big fireworks show on the 4th of July. I was enjoying the show, but I kept thinking that it would be great if they'd turn off that damned patriotic music and shut up about how great america is, and just let me enjoy the fireworks.
    It didn't occur to me until I was leaving that the 4th was *supposed* to be about how great we are and the fireworks are secondary.

    I guess I'm just not proud of who we've become as a country. I asked a girl online from Egypt if Americans seem as stupid as I fear we do.

    She said, "No. You ARE that stupid."


By Hal on Wednesday, July 18, 2001 - 12:40 pm:

    The flag is a means of symbolism.

    sym·bol·ism (smb-lzm)
    n.

    Revelation or suggestion of intangible conditions or truths by artistic invention.


    Which I take to mean that a symbol although intended to mean a specific thing to one person can come to mean a lot of different things to different people. Many people in the US belive that the Flag symbolizes the goverment and all the "conformists, and the like who agree with the ways of the goverment who represses the little people." I'm not one of those people, I don't belive that the goverment is always out to get us, and that the aren't watching our every fucking move. And if they are I'm to insignificant for it to make any sort of fucking difference. There are other people commiting far worse effects then me, and I don't give a fuck what they know if they know anything at all. To me the flag represents everything that the US has fought for, WWII and all the Americans who left the US never to see it again. Vietnam and all the Americans who left and never came back. The Revolutionary war and all the ex-british colonists who fought to make something other then New Britin, The Civil War, and all the Americans who killed each other for their belifs. The last of those is the most important, and we must learn from our mistakes.


    If someone wants to burn a flag let them, its their right as a citizen of the United States of America. The problem with free speech is the fact that its a never ending circle of bitching. It starts with a person buring a flag because they have the right to free speech and expression, and then someone calls them "Wreched, wreched people." because its their right to do so as well, and the cycle continues on from there. Thus I try to live the, "live and let live" policy. Which in my exp. is the only way to avoid conflict with people who do things you dislike. ( this follows with several catagories including; Abortion( I'm pro-choice, but I'm male and thus in the end I have no fucking say whatsoever.) Religion (Why can't people just belive in their own faith and leave the faith of others to others.) Capital punishment (if you kill someone, then you have no right to make the argument "What right do you have to kill me, who made you god?")


    People, seriously can't we just play nice?


By patrick on Wednesday, July 18, 2001 - 01:08 pm:

    what about a college theater group who wants to put on a play called Corpus Christi...a reknowned play, depiciting Jesus as homosexual, amongst many other "sinful" ideas.

    The writer had death threats from an Islamic Fatwa when it opened in London.

    Christians were up in arms.There were even vdeath threats against the board members of the Manhattan Theatre Club who were to put it on.

    Christians get so damn uppity about this shit.


    Now a public college theater group in Indiana wants to put it on. 20 State legistlators are filing suit, to have them stopped.

    They cite that the writer's view that Jesus was a homosexual is akin to that writers religion, and these conservative, religious nimnuts are arguing that this is a breech of church and state by allowing public funds to aid putting this on.

    here's how the LA Times worded it:

    "If government is not allowed to promote religion--by permitting prayer in schools, for example--then it should not be allowed to destroy religion either. And they deem "Corpus Christi" supremely destructive.

    "If the government can't put a nativity scene on the city hall lawn at Christmas, they argue, then it should not be able to stage a play that shows Christ wearing a purple dress, having sex with his disciples, cussing and denying his divinity."

    the defenders against the lawsuit say this...


    "Defenders of "Corpus Christi" counter with a question of their own: Who determines what's offensive? They sketch a nightmare scenario of censorship. If "Corpus Christi" is deemed an attack on religion, what about a novel such as William Faulkner's "Light in August," which presents an allegorical Christ figure as a murderer of murky racial heritage? Or what about Charles Darwin's theory of evolution? That contradicts the biblical creation story. It offends many who take the Book of Genesis literally. Should state universities strike evolution from their classrooms lest they be sued for using tax money to "tear down" religion?"



    ok



    discuss


By heather on Wednesday, July 18, 2001 - 01:19 pm:

    Main Entry: 1re·spect
    Pronunciation: ri-'spekt
    3 a : high or special regard : ESTEEM b : the quality or state of being esteemed c plural : expressions of respect or deference



    there is not enough respect

    it is a complicated issue


By heather on Wednesday, July 18, 2001 - 01:24 pm:

    that was not a response to patrick's post


    sometimes disrespect is required. i don't feel like typing the two thousand words i would need to explain myself and i'm sure you wouldn't feel like reading them anyway.


By TBone on Wednesday, July 18, 2001 - 01:32 pm:

    Ok.

    They're using any means they can find to stop a play that they find personally offensive.

    I like that they say "permitting" prayer in school. Like it's outlawed completely.

    --
    You there! You aren't PRAYING are you? That's it! Off to the principal's office! The police will pick you up from there!
    --

    I think these legislators need to separate thier religion from their legislation. Student groups at my university recieve school (and therefore state) funds. This includes religious groups. I don't imagine that these legislators feel quite the same way about THOSE funds.

    More importantly though, I'd LOVE to see this play.


By patrick on Wednesday, July 18, 2001 - 01:40 pm:

    prayer is personal.

    not something a large body does before a fucking football game.

    wanna pray for your rectangular sliver of pizza, chocolate milk and applesauce...go ahead, but don't get the whole damn lunch room doing it over the loud speaker in unison.

    they dont seem to understand the difference


By spunky on Wednesday, July 18, 2001 - 01:48 pm:

    is "a public college theater group in Indiana" considered part of the government?

    Freedom of speech is freedom of speech. No where does it say anything about you having the right to say what ever ONLY if the religious groups agree with it. Fuck'm if they don't like it. the senators have no right what so ever to sue anyone over this. It is specifically protected by the 1st ammendment. Christians are confusing me more and more.

    For the first 15-20 years of my life, I was taught this:
    1 Timothy 2
    9
    I also want women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or expensive clothes,
    10
    but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God.
    11
    A woman should learn in quietness and full submission.
    12
    I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man; she must be silent.
    13
    For Adam was formed first, then Eve.
    14
    And Adam was not the one deceived; it was the woman who was deceived and became a sinner.
    15
    But women[1] will be saved[2] through childbearing--if they continue in faith, love and holiness with propriety.

    Now, this, surprise surprise, is not PC, so they ignore it.

    And about homosexuality:
    1 Corinthians 6
    9
    Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders

    OR

    Romans 1
    27
    In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed indecent acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their perversion.

    Now that is also considered Non-PC, so today you can find Gay Churches (more power to them, I say. Give it right back)
    Oh, and there is always this little gem:

    Leviticus 18:19
    `Do not approach a woman to have sexual relations during the uncleanness of her monthly period.

    Anyway, they are always talking out of both sides of their heads....


By Nate on Wednesday, July 18, 2001 - 02:02 pm:

    i love first timothy 2:11. i quote that the female biblethumpers all the time.

    SHT YOU LIP< WWWMN.


By heather on Wednesday, July 18, 2001 - 02:08 pm:

    CONTEXT

    context, authorship and history

    original sources



    oh. and remember once and a while how you were given a brain.


By patrick on Wednesday, July 18, 2001 - 02:10 pm:

    trace a public university is paid for with.....tax dollars, at least in part.


By spunky on Wednesday, July 18, 2001 - 02:28 pm:

    but, are the students not also paying to be there?
    they should be allowed to do the play if we want.
    i shudder to think what could happen if we started letting religion push the local juco's and state colleges around


By spunky on Wednesday, July 18, 2001 - 02:31 pm:

    Oh, and the church's definition of AIDS?:
    Romans 1:27-
    Men committed indecent acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their perversion.


By patrick on Wednesday, July 18, 2001 - 02:35 pm:

    well playing devil's advocate....they claim they shouldnt be using tax dollars in part to fund such a productuon. yes students do pay to be there, but tax dollars also help create the facilities.

    they argue if they cant have organized prayer in school then we can't have organized jesus bashing god in school. they are jsut so damn uncomfortable and so damn snooty and up in other people's business they actually are fearful that a play could REALLY convince so many that jesus was indeed a flaming homo.

    religion is so damned personal, if they spent more time on their personal faiths, then buggerin into what others are doing, they might not have these problems.


By Hal on Wednesday, July 18, 2001 - 03:01 pm:

    Jesus was either a flaming homosexual or a hippy. Either way the Christians would be pissed.

    I'm sorry, but they must understand that as much as they have the right to put on a nativity play, we have as much right to put on a play about Jesus being a Homo, Hippy, Rockstar, Coke addict, pot smoker, pediphile, or any other damn thing we think of. FREE SPEECH-Means free, for everyone damnit.

    I belive I remember something about jesus saying "treat others as you would be treated." (or something to that effect anyway.) In any case I find that christians, catholics, prodistants, and all the other religioins of that type and people within them get really pissed off at me when I tell them I'm a panthiest and have on many occasions told me I'm cheating. Well I wonder how they would like it if I got pissed at them when they told me they were <insert Religion here> and told them they were wrong...


    Fuck these people have some acceptance issues.


By Spider on Wednesday, July 18, 2001 - 03:21 pm:

    Hal, what do you mean when you say you are a pantheist? What does that mean to your life? (How do you put it into practice? How does it affect your thought-patterns and your actions?)


By Hal on Wednesday, July 18, 2001 - 03:40 pm:

    pan·the·ism
    n.
    1.A doctrine identifying the Deity with the universe and its phenomena.
    2.Belief in and worship of all gods.

    I happen to belive in the latter of the two.

    In my opinion if you take every religion on earth and break them down into their very base moral and ethical components, they are all exactly the same.

    I live my life beliving that whatever faith a person belives in is their own choice, and no one by that decision is wrong. Faith is faith. I do however belive that a lot of religions have certain rules and ideals that were created by man to control other men, and thus should have nothing to do with the faith in a greater power. (God) I do not tell anyone their wrong, or anyone their right. Yes I'll admit I make fun of the christians and the catholics, and the prodistants, and the lutherans, but only because I find it so amusing the number of stories and morals that are instituted that conflict with the basic moral principals of Catholosism. I also on occasion make fun of the Buddists, Hindus, Muslums, Jews, Satanists, pretty much damn near everyone. Its just that the Christians make it so easy.

    "Have faith in what you belive in, let no one tell you your wrong and that your going to hell."


By Spider on Wednesday, July 18, 2001 - 03:54 pm:

    Hal, you just told me that you think everyone is correct in believing what they believe. But you didn't tell me what you believe, and how that belief (or those beliefs) affect(s) the way you live.

    So do you believe in an afterlife? Do you believe in a deity/deities that get(s) involved with human affairs? Are there principles that govern how you make decisions? How do you decide what is right and wrong?


By Nate on Wednesday, July 18, 2001 - 04:36 pm:

    it seems odd to me that someone would hold a belief and then have it affect their life.

    i can't explain why at the moment.

    fuck it. nevermind.

    i'm posting this anyway.


By Antigone on Wednesday, July 18, 2001 - 05:03 pm:

    The whole point of holding a belief is that it affects our lives.

    If you hold anything it affects your life.

    Take a white hot bar of iron, for instance.

    Hold that up your rectum and it will definately affect your life.

    Remember that.


By patrick on Wednesday, July 18, 2001 - 05:14 pm:

    im holding my nuts and its affecting my life right now


By patrick on Wednesday, July 18, 2001 - 05:26 pm:

    oh my god.

    i did NOT say that


By Nate on Wednesday, July 18, 2001 - 05:29 pm:

    i think the effects of life results in belief, not the other way around.

    say i make hats and antigone draws pictures of my hats. if patrick only knows hats from antigone's pictures, he doesn't really know hats, but he believes he does. then, when he sees my hats he goes OHHHH, and his belief changes because he's been affected.

    to cap off the game plan in the beginning is silliness.


By spunky on Wednesday, July 18, 2001 - 05:33 pm:

    thus is the crux of it all.
    How do you know if what you are seeing is really red? If it is the only color that you have associated the word red with, maybe what you perceive as red is actually what you perceive yellow to be?
    I have struggled with that thought for a long time.


By patrick on Wednesday, July 18, 2001 - 05:33 pm:

    you make hats?


By Antigone on Wednesday, July 18, 2001 - 05:40 pm:

    We always cap off the game plan, to one degree or another.

    We all have a pretty persistent belief that the sun will rise tomorrow. It's a belief based on copious prior experience, but since you can't prove that the sun absolutely will rise, it's still a belief.

    All actions based on sensory input and/or sufficiently complex reasoning are necessarily based on belief. We never have complete data, nor can we ever reason completely through or be completely cognizant of the incomplete data we have, so belief bridges the gap from incomplete reasoning to action.

    So you must cap off the game at some point, or you could never make a decision.


By patrick on Wednesday, July 18, 2001 - 05:42 pm:

    can i play this game?


By Nate on Wednesday, July 18, 2001 - 05:44 pm:

    do you have a hat?


By patrick on Wednesday, July 18, 2001 - 05:48 pm:

    i was J U S T wondering the same damn thing.



    hmmm


By Cat on Wednesday, July 18, 2001 - 05:51 pm:

    I believe Satan's severed head's hat has the power to heal herpes.


By heather on Wednesday, July 18, 2001 - 05:53 pm:

    my incomplete reasoning makes me a basket case

    just ask anyone who's been forced to go to a restaurant with me

    hm. thanks antigone.


By Antigone on Wednesday, July 18, 2001 - 05:57 pm:

    fer what?


By Nate on Wednesday, July 18, 2001 - 05:59 pm:

    that's bullshit and you know it antigone.

    if you come to a stop sign and you can't remember if you're supposed to make a left or a right, you choose a direction. it doesn't mean you expect without doubt that you are going the right way.

    by capping off the game i mean deciding on unchangable tennets.

    to have some water poured over your head as a baby and from that point on knowing that you believe in one god, the father almighty, maker of heaven and earth, and all things seen and unseen, and in one lord jesus christ, the only begotten son of god, begotten of his father before all worlds, god of god, etc. etc. etc.

    that's the kind of belief that affects your world.

    planning on going to work the next day because you are betting on the sun coming up isn't really the same boat. if the sun didn't come up, your belief would change.

    right?

    right?


By heather on Wednesday, July 18, 2001 - 06:01 pm:

    revealing the source of my increasing disintegration

    or something


By patrick on Wednesday, July 18, 2001 - 06:06 pm:

    *WAVES HAT*


By Antigone on Wednesday, July 18, 2001 - 06:06 pm:

    "by capping off the game i mean deciding on unchangable tennets."

    You believe in the scientific method, right?

    Do you think that acting based on "reasoning" is better than acting based on "belief?" If so, prove it.

    Do you know about Godel's Incompleteness Theorem?


By Nate on Wednesday, July 18, 2001 - 06:13 pm:

    science is a ridiculous religion.
    godel's theorem is proof of this.

    do you believe in the scientific method? is there anything in science that can be labeled a belief (in the sense of being an "unchangable tennet") ?






By Cat on Wednesday, July 18, 2001 - 06:46 pm:

    "science is a ridiculous religion."

    Ridiculous should be in the definition for religion.

    When I was at a catholic primary school, we had a picture of the Sacred Heart of Jesus (I still use caps..geez). The exposed bloody heart scared the crap out of me.

    I watched "The Ten Commandments" not so long ago, and I was struck by how truly pagan the basis of christianity is. All those amazing plagues and rules magically appearing and burning bushes. And yet it all makes perfect sense if you're brought up with it.

    I wish I could believe the way I did when I was a kid.


By Antigone on Wednesday, July 18, 2001 - 06:47 pm:

    Science itself is based on the belief that the scientific method is the best way of exploring and explaining the physical world.


By Nate on Wednesday, July 18, 2001 - 06:52 pm:

    the best way is in there is no possible better way?


By Antigone on Wednesday, July 18, 2001 - 07:05 pm:

    To many it seems to be that way, yes.


By Nate on Wednesday, July 18, 2001 - 07:08 pm:

    hence ridiculous religion.


By Antigone on Wednesday, July 18, 2001 - 07:25 pm:

    hence I'm going to eat sushi


By cyst on Wednesday, July 18, 2001 - 07:31 pm:

    whenever I have a nice glass of cabernet, I like to think I'm drinking the blood of christ.

    whenever I burn a flag, I like to think I am pissing on all the corpses of all the heroic young men who died to preserve my rights to commit such sins.


By heather on Wednesday, July 18, 2001 - 07:37 pm:


By cyst on Wednesday, July 18, 2001 - 08:10 pm:

    what I like about the scientific method is that it invites and accepts challenges to all the current tenets. scientists build upon each others' work, taking all new data into consideration. science has always been a work in progress, and anyone can contribute.

    religion never wants to hear that it's wrong. it continually refuses to consider new evidence. no one is invited to contribute unless they only want to confirm the lies upon which religions are based.


By heather on Wednesday, July 18, 2001 - 08:15 pm:

    you make science sound so friendly



    from what i've heard, replacing the word religion with the word science in the second paragraph is more like it.


By Nate on Wednesday, July 18, 2001 - 08:29 pm:

    the general population doesn't understand science as anything but a religion.

    i don't know how many times i've had a newspaper article pushed in my face in an attempt to prove me wrong on some issue. "but _studies have shown_"

    studies have shown == this is now fact;

    people don't understand science. they're mystified by it. they don't understand that a study with an insignfigant sample size isn't worth changing your life over. they don't understand that theories are theories and that there is zero fact.

    fuck science. it's the old way. we need to get beyond it.


By heather on Wednesday, July 18, 2001 - 08:45 pm:

    yes

    something like random declarations of whatever the fuck you want



    [the use of gathered statistics is my favorite kind of science. you say some numbers! you say what they mean! you get what you want! people drink milk! people eat spinach! people move to kansas! voila!]


By dave. on Wednesday, July 18, 2001 - 10:23 pm:

    the distance between black and white is much further than i would like. until now, i've never noticed that fascism has many disguises.


By droopy on Thursday, July 19, 2001 - 01:12 am:

    i have no god.
    i am spider's dawg.
    i need no higher authority.


By Spider on Thursday, July 19, 2001 - 10:18 am:

    I bless you with my infinite love, droopy.

    The rest of you can bite me.


    Hey, I can quote the Bible, too!

    Matthew 7:6

    ""Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and then turn and tear you to pieces."

    Finis.


By Czarina on Thursday, July 19, 2001 - 10:26 am:

    If Droopy's dawg shits in the woods,but nobody sees,does God know he shat?

    Or,is it simply a mathemetical equation?
    Energy>>>>Consumption>>>>Utilization>>>>Expulsion?


By Czarina on Thursday, July 19, 2001 - 10:31 am:

    oooh,Spider,I didn't see your post.Sorry.


By TBone on Thursday, July 19, 2001 - 11:21 am:

    Numbers 22:27

    "And when his ass saw the angel of the Lord, she
    cowered under Balaam, so in anger he again beat
    the ass with his stick."


By Czarina on Thursday, July 19, 2001 - 01:08 pm:

    And then Nate stepped in..................


By Hal on Thursday, July 19, 2001 - 02:01 pm:

    I explain myself to no one.


By Antigone on Thursday, July 19, 2001 - 02:07 pm:

    I do, but nobody seems to listen.


By heather on Thursday, July 19, 2001 - 04:50 pm:

    i wish dave would explain himself


By Cat on Thursday, July 19, 2001 - 05:45 pm:

    For those who get His Daveness, no explanation is necessary. For those who don't, no explanation is possible.

    Hail Dave, full of beer, the force is with thee. Blessed art thou among men, and blessed is the fruit of thy loins, Cleo.


By dave. on Thursday, July 19, 2001 - 09:10 pm:

    i was listening to the minutemen while i was reading this thread last night. it seemed relevant.

    thanks, cat.


By heather on Thursday, July 19, 2001 - 09:48 pm:

    ok then

    for us unenlightened folk, can you tell me what is the black and what is the white you are wishing would be closer together?


By agatha on Thursday, July 19, 2001 - 10:41 pm:

    here's a dave tip:
    if you want him to do something, don't ask him. he might do it if you don't ask, but he won't do it if you do ask. except, every once in awhile, he does an about face to confuse you and preserve his aura of mystery.

    does that make any sense?


By dave. on Thursday, July 19, 2001 - 11:05 pm:

    i'm a bitch.

    does that make any sense?


By patrick on Friday, July 20, 2001 - 12:09 pm:

    yes.


    im still laughing about the silly ebay thing.


    how's the bookend?


By agatha on Friday, July 20, 2001 - 01:36 pm:

    a lovable bitch, nonetheless.

    and i'm scatterbrained and impulsive, so it all works out in the end.


By dave. on Sunday, July 22, 2001 - 12:58 pm:

    excellent, it was intended to be funny. like i needed or wanted another polaroid.

    soon it will be your bookend.


By semillama on Monday, July 23, 2001 - 11:32 am:

    Jesus was a DJ. (by Shine)
    (it's better with the pictures)
    When the old DJ died, Jesus was happy.
    "Please don't play'Once in a Lifetime' any more" the people begged of him.
    "I shall not" he said.

    and DJ Christ posted his playlist with the help of webmaster Moses. And the people rejoiced.
    HIS MUSIC IS SO GOOD!

    So they provided him with money and bitches.
    The music was great. The people started to dance. Later, they all got naked and had an orgy.

    Soon an angel came and asked that DJ Christ spin for the Almighty GOD. Jesus refused.

    The people came to him and asked to be one with his music. He poked their eyes out so they would hear better.
    And they rejoiced.

    DJ Christ did not stop there. He exposed ALL his glory unto them ("check out that package!")

    and they wanted to touch his glory with their mouths.

    Soon he was not happy with what they offered him.
    They were stupid and rejoiced.

    DJ Christ was asked to play old worn out music for very little money. He did not and they were angry.

    So the people put some drugs in his drink that made him feel funny. He got light headed and had to pee.

    So they showed him to the urinal. ("Pee here?" "Yes, pee there.")

    Dj Christ was knocked unconscious and left in a strange part of town where people kept inanimate vases as pets.

    He went asking for handouts because he was lost and hungry. ("Get the shotgun honey." "Yes dear.")

    So DJ Christ became depressed and wandered for many days through a strange geometric forest. He took to wearing women's clothes.

    "That's so sad! Please tell me that it gets better!" Sorry, lady. It doesn't.

    Eventually, he was arrested for trespassing and urinating in a public place. ("Yeah! That's the guy that pissed on my dog!")

    While in the "slammer" he found new people to love him. ("please don't let him touch me there again.")

    He was let out and found his way home. He took small steps for fear of ripping out the stitches. And the people were devastated as to what they had done.

    Some were upset enough to throw up in their own hands. And DJ Christ was happy.

    But while he was gone, the angels did come from Heaven and done stole his bitches. ("YOU SHOULD NOT CONCERN YOURSELF WITH SUCH SMALL EARTHLY PENISES. OURS ARE BIGGER AND TASTE BETTER.")

    The people got made when he asked for more bitches. So they took him back to the rectangular forest and had a party. ("No more spinning delicious grooves for you, buddy!")

    And after, they all smoked up.

    So since he had no use of his hands, he created music with his almighty sphincter. Millions of people flocked to him like sheep. This was the birth of the RAVE.

    And now all his fans from all across the world write to him.

    But he can't write back...because of his hands.
    THE END.


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