| THIS IS A READ-ONLY ARCHIVE FROM THE SORABJI.COM MESSAGE BOARDS (1995-2016). |
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go to a goth/industrial club on Saturday and says she'll talk to you Saturday. DOes she really mean "talk to you saturday" or is she actually wanting you to call her before then? I think she may but I don't know. I have gotten myself into trouble before by taking women literally. So what do y'all think? |
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don't leave a message if she doesn't answer |
If you want to call her before Saturday, go right ahead and call her and say "I couldn't wait till Saturday because I wanted to talk to you". I would love it if someone did that to me. |
god damn sem get it together man! |
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just call her friday early evening or saturday afternoon. and i'd say leave a message if she doesn't answer. it shouldn't be that big of a deal really. but i know where you're coming from. |
the first thing about this, in that I have no experience in what works and what doesn't. The end of the month marks seven years without a girlfriend, to provide perspective. God I'm such a dork about this stuff. |
if he calls saturday it might be too late to get in touch with her if she has plans before the evening- and then definitely too late to be part of those plans i guess if you use the obsession to be prepared it's not so bad, just don't let it bring you down. |
how would you deal with your other friends...your blokes? joey joe joe said "lets hook up saturday night" you'd probably buzz him Thursday or Friday no? A phone call placed around 6-7pm on a Friday night doesnt indicate one has nothing to do. If anything thats usually my downtime. I often don't go out until after 9pm. most of all sem, putting such a question to the piranahs we are was a bigger mistake than thinking of calling this gal Wed or Sat. |
though i suspect your answer is intended to be some kind of respect for him, if you asked sem some kind of anthropology/archeology question, i doubt his answer would be 'figure it out yourself i can't believe you would even ask that question' well at least i can tell that i'm avoiding the things i'm supposed to be doing |
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my answer was initially to support what cat said. my last post was a follow up to that. you seem equally as obsessed over such trivial details as sem potentially is. When I get a phone call from someone on a Friday night I don't instantly think they have nothing to do. A bit of a stretch eh? Otherwise I have no idea what you mean here: "patrick. you are in la, and the people you might call on a friday night already know you or at least think that they do and will get that whole 'going out later thing'" I don't buy that poop anymore than the idea that dating folk shouldnt answer their phones on the weekends so they can maintain some sort of appearance of being busy. I think such measures are deceptive and frankly obsessive and silly. i mean really, does this require this much thought? im not trying to be a dick about anything. really im not. I was just praying our collective buddy sem could step back and see the absurdity of such a "dilemma". |
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it must be nice to live in a black and white world. |
i see modern society as unneccessarily complicated. this "dilemma" posed by sem as a great example of unecessary complications. |
regular basis. If it were one of my buddies, I wouldn't get in touch with them before saturday at all, knowing they would call me if something came up before then. That's different. As much as I hate it, it seems to me you can't avoid dating as a game system. There ARE rules and you generally have to figure out what they are if you are going to be successful at the game. My past experience has shown me that I SUCK at the game and henceforth I come here to see if anyone thinks I am majorly screwing up. I guess I'm not so far. Thanks for advice btw. I'll let y'all know what happens. |
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they're all gonna laugh at you. |
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good luck sem |
especially in LA. |
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well at least i can tell that i'm avoiding the things i'm supposed to be doing i meant to say- because i've typed so much crap i wasn't trying to offend you, patrick, but maybe you can't understand not being comfortable with something if you've always been comfortable with it the first time i looked for a job i asked for lots of advice |
and aside from fucking around dating and 'marrying for love' haven't actually been around all that long- and women have been free to choose for even less time [and. i said nothing about not answering your phone to pretend you're not home.] |
maybe i don't really understand. this dating thing. but at the same time, i have enough friends i see go through the dating crap to know that a lot of nonsense goes on. It just seems to me a lot of that nonsense could be eliminated if people were more forthright with each other. |
Sure, it makes it all harder and much worse than it could be... But it it's not really as simple as just stopping it. It sucks, but it's there. Those who don't have to go through it are fortunate. Also, it seems MUCH more trivial and pointless from the outside. Just like most things. |
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yes, ok, thursday night it is. and make sure to leave a message if she doesn't answer. otherwise, you're just playing head games with yourself. |
thursday it is. I need to wash all the stinky towels I used to put on the wet carpet between my bedroom and the bathroom, anyway, and I need to mop again. I was hoping someone would latch onto my idea of male-female relationships being a game system (Dropping the ball, Antigone!). Essentially, my opinion is that male-female relations, past and present, can always be examined as a game system, with specific rules and roles that change over time, from place to place, and from culture to culture, but that these relationships are game systems is a universal human trait, much like language, agriculture, and tool use. Dig? |
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well??? |
get home. |
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can't you just freakin' take a girl out without considering some vast cultural ramifications? small birds know the mating dance, and so do you. jesus. |
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c'mon sem, i want to know how the phone call went. |
Exercise [sic] that song outta your head if you can. |
End of story. I think about these things, Wisper, because I LIKE to think about stuff like that. I am an anthropologist after all. |
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hope you left her your phone number! :) |
so far. We'll see. |
She's making dinner for me tomorrow!! (in Randy "Macho Man" Savage voice) "OOHHH YYYYEEEAAAHHHH!!!!!" |
You clean your plate now, y'hear? |
friday night and i'm posting to sorabji. how cool is that. i won't answer the phone though. |
around. What AM I SAYING!!! |
Now you have to work out what to take. Definitely wine. But you also need a "I'm-a-thoughtful-fun-sensitive-guy" gift. Nothing too expensive, just something cool. A scented candle or some nice handmade chocolates maybe. Not flowers, unless they're still living and breathing in a pot. It's best if it's something kinda fun. Maybe something you've talked about that you know she likes. |
-orange truffles from Trader Joe's -bottle o' Cyser (dry mead which she said she'd like to try) -Dreams of Freedom Bob Marley ambient dub remixes -The Damage Manual album (which she said she didn't have but also said she likes the individual artists work) that's the ticket! email me cat |
you are the gift, sem. |
tell me when you were courting agatha (which we have heard NOTHING of) that ypu never gave her gifts that made her say "cool" tell me that. ALthough thanks dave. [next sorabji fest for sure is west coast, ok?] |
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way besides my own bad self I (hopefully) would think that the stuff I said above would be good enough to present, huh? |
Leave the album for another time. |
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what about the wigs? i fucking loved those wigs. |
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truffles and the album, although we ended up coing out to eat with her friends, a couple consisting of a really funny horror writer and his classy adult dancer wife. Then we went to that githclub I mentioned which was fairly tame except for the part with the fat people whipping and binding each other. I got a nice hug after the date. Maybe a kiss next time? I think so. Damn I need to go to bed. |
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its funny how things work out. (insert generic, cynical marriage comment from jaded husband) |
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phone calls. i did send an email reiterating how much fun I had with her, that I liked her friends, and that I wanted to see her again before I left for South Carolina. I stilldon't really know her schedule though, so that is going to be something I ask next time we talk. all I knowis she works saturday mornings. Damn, a bunch of cops just went by. I love living in the city. |