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the next morning, 14" shit. full bore, too. none of that squirrelly, thin-diameter shit. and not because i was backed up, either. just for fun. recommended. |
smooooth. |
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Valerian root is a CNS depressant -- how does it stimulate digestion? |
psyllium husk you say? I've been looking for some new and exciting colon blow fun. |
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i {heart} psyllium husk. add a squirt of fresh lime juice, makes a big difference going down. |
and more release. |
But Nate - how did you measure it? |
and it was like passing butter. so much so that i didn't expect to see it had held its form. but it did. glorious. i took some more earlier today. i have my fingers crossed for a just-before-bed-er. i wish i'd known about the lime juice. it tastes vaguely like psychedelic mushrooms. |
How many people here know the taste Nate is referring to? Show of hands. |
these kinds of things scare me. |
I read "The Road to Wellville" earlier this summer. Psyllium and poop are major themes. Also, a kind of seaweed that sounds like it could be fun too. Can't remember the name right now. |
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but man, after a day or 2 of the Psyllium Husk i was putting out big, huge logs twice a day, sometimes 3 and even 4 times. oh, man, the first couple of times it was like my whole body was being wrenched asunder. the shit took so long to finally finish coming out that i almost fell off the can. it felt like i'd been backed up all the way to my neck. i had to lie down in the hallway outside my bathroom for i don't even know how long. at first i was kind of embarrassed to buy it (psyllium husk). it was like buying a really kinky euro porno or a flavored condom. i bought a few other things just so the checkout person wouldn't unduly notice or comment on the colon cleanse. "Oh, you take this too! I get huge logs with this stuff! Have fun! Let us know how it goes!" i think another part of the reason i never tried this stuff was because the pitches for it all seem to come from crazed sounding late-night AM radio infomercial jockeys and other boiler-room pitchmen who try to sell this stuff with flyers they printed off the copy machine at their day job. but then i thought about it and was like, what am i expecting? celebrity endorsements? are you ever gonna see sarah jessica parker on TV talking about how much more satisfying her time at shit has been since taking psyllium husk. "i used to get little stringy shits. but with P husk i'm getting big, huge logs. none of these little girly turds, i'm talking wide, buttcheek-cracking firm, nicely colored logs that i can be proud of." no, you're not gonna see that. so when i walked into the health food place i was thinking of asking the guy who works there -- a chinese guy who doesn't appear to speak much english -- what he recommended. i was gonna walk in and tell him "i want a big, huge log." i'd hold my hands about 12 or 14 inches apart. "whaddaya got that will make my logs this big?" and he'd say "oh, big log, ya ya, i got psyllium husk!" and he'd hold it up and i'd make an O-shape with my hands and ask "what about this wide? is this stuff gonna make my turds this wide?" and he'd say "ya ya, big, wide, huge logs, my friend. take this. $5.99." i didn't do that, though. i picked up the huge bottle of husk and, like i said before, went and bought a bunch of other stuff i didn't want. including organic coffee at the ridicuous price of $10.99 a pound. the first few days of this stuff were like being born again. but after that it became routine. the dumps were still huge, but they didn't come with the post-orgasmic afterglow that comes from laying down a big fat footlong for the first time in 3 or 4 days. in fact i think those first massively enormous movements were an aberration. i think they coincided with the fact that i had eaten way more than usual the day before. i'm not a big eater in general, and in fact i really have no good reason to think my innards are particularly putrid. i just wanted to put down some really giant slabs of shit. i had to quit taking P Husk because it made my sinuses go apeshit. not an expected side-effect. shitting, sneezing, blowing my nose, oh and belching... it was too much stimulation. someday, when i have the right motivation and the right resources, i'll go for the all out hose up the ass enema where they scrape the colorful, 12-year-old detritus off the inside of my colon and stick it in a little bag and hold the bag up to my face and make me look at it. |
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