A REPUBLICAN MOLE SENT THIS TO ME

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By TERCES on Sunday, May 30, 2004 - 06:43 pm:

    From: orixxxiner To: " <>
    Subject: Agenda
    Date: Sat, 29 May 2004 11:35:13 -0400

    Subject: Agenda


    REPUBLICAN NATIONAL COMMITTEE CONVENTION SCHEDULE - New York 2004

    6:00 PM Opening Prayer led by the Reverend Jerry Falwell

    6:30 PM Pledge of Allegiance

    6:35 PM Burning of Bill of Rights (excluding 2nd amendment)

    6:45 PM Salute to the Coalition of the Willing

    6:46 PM Seminar #1: Getting your kid a military deferment

    7:30 PM First Presidential Beer Bong

    7:35 PM Serve Freedom Fries

    7:40 PM EPA Address #1: Mercury, it's what's for dinner.

    8:00 PM Vote on which country to invade next

    8:10 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh

    8:15 PM John Ashcroft Lecture: The Homos are after your children

    8:30 PM Round table discussion on reproductive rights (MEN only)

    8:50 PM Seminar #2 Corporations: The government of the future

    9:00 PM Condi Rice sings "Can't Help Lovin' Dat Man"

    9:05 PM Second Presidential Beer Bong

    9:10 PM EPA Address #2 Trees: The real cause of forest fires

    9:30 PM Break for secret meetings

    10:00 PM Second prayer led by Cal Thomas

    10:15 PM Lecture by Carl Rove: Doublespeak made easy

    10:30 PM Rumsfeld demonstration of how to squint and talk macho

    10:35 PM Bush demonstration of trademark deer-in-headlights stare

    10:40 PM John Ashcroft demonstrates new mandatory Kevlar chastity belt

    10:45 PM Clarence Thomas reads list of black Republicans

    10:46 PM Third Presidential Beer Bong

    10:50 PM Seminar #3 Education: A drain on our nation's economy.

    11:10 PM Hilary Clinton piņata

    11:20 PM Second Lecture by John Ashcroft: Evolutionists: The dangerous
    new cult

    11:30 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh again.

    11:35 PM Blame Clinton

    11:40 PM Laura serves milk and cookies

    11:50 PM Closing Prayer led by Jesus Himself

    12:00 AM Nomination of George W. Bush as Holy Supreme Planetary
    Overlord

By James Carvilles Spawn on Sunday, May 30, 2004 - 07:50 pm:

    12:01 AM Convention After party sponsored by Halliburton

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