OK, you guys, I'm getting bummed 'cause I'm feeling like this isn't gonna happen. Which I can dig, because Mark has to be willing and I'm thinking he's wary and chary and all those words signifying scary (us). It's all good, though, because at some point I'm gonna have to be somewhere that one of you lives, and I'm gonna say something like "PJ, I'm gonna be in Silver Spring on such and such a date, let's get Dinner at the Red Sea and take in a movie or some such" or "Sem, I'm driving cross country and I need a place to crash in the middle west which doesn't involve my family, you got a couch" or "RC, when I was in 6th grade my parents went to Florida without me and I still resent them for it and I've never been, so I'm coming your way. Let's get toasted and scheme to rule the world." And one of you might even say yes. Until then, let's seriously talk t-shirts. I am willing to help design, but I don't know shit about the printing process and how one gets things actually made up. I want (a) like 4 or 5 core designs to vote on, (b) wantt the shirts made up, if I have to I will front $ until people actually send in checks or money orders, and (c) I want pictures taken of use wearing the shirts and posted somewhere. Maybe I can sneak in to work some weekend and use the laminating machine and the color printer and making trading cards of the Sorabji denizens. I want some action! Eat Hot Fuck!

*grin* Well, Margaret, if you're ever in Silver Spring, you had BETTER contact me!!! T-shirts sound cool. Do you have one in 3x?

I love the idea of taking photos of us in sorabji t-shirts. We should make it a point to wear them in odd places and/or if any of us has to be on tv. I still swear up and down I saw someone waving a sorabji sign at a wrestling match on tv once. I'll be located about three hours from Mpls/St paul, Madison, and Iowa City, so I am going to be fairly centrally located for any travelling sorabjites who need crash space.

sorabji fest? I'm there. I'm so there. t-shirts, t-shirts...dont' you people have printers and t-shirt transfer paper? just design something, post it on up, n print em out!! there can be a diferent one for everyone! Belive me, it's cheaper than geting them pro-done, I used to work at a shirt printing place and they rip you off....*big time*. just an idea.

YES! I'm all abt this! But it's gotta be cool w/Mark if we're gonna do it -- it won't be legit w/out his participation. I certainly don't expect him to pay for one -- he has get at least 6 free shirts for his troubles (does he even wear t-shirts?). But I wdn't feel right abt it if Mark didn't explicitly express his consent & at least participate in the design process. I mean/it's his kingdom/after all. Some of the big pictures he posts are cool/but some have people in them -- too much of a legal hassle cd ensue. (Altho I like the idea of getting Mark to post Frank Hestor's mug on the Sorabji frontpage for a while....) But I'd rather have an official Sorabji logo -- something that's instantly recognizable to any the inmates from the Sorabji asylum/anywhere on the planet. (Like those crazy quotes that pop up above the Officecam pics on the WAYD page. I LOVE those!) I can't draw for shit/so I really wdn't be of any help. But I know Agatha knows abt silkscreening & printmaking all that -- you might try e-mailing her. But how do we figure out who shd broach the subject w/Mark? There are certain regulars he's on friendly terms w/but alas/I am not among the elite. I know he & Swine have hung out -- I say we elect Swine to wield his inimitable powers of persuasion on Mark to see if he'll agree. If he does/then just post a notice that you're requesting submissions for a logo or design. You can forward them to Mark to post & everyone can vote on 3 or 4 they like best. Then it's just a question of people sending you the $$ & getting them made up. Just in time for summer, too!

i can silkscreen them in the printmaking studio if they are just one color or two. i'll ask him.

please. don't forget the beandip.

I'll whip up a design or two and ship 'em on forward to you guys. Don't expect miracles. I can only do so much with my left hand, since cancer took my prominent arm. *lighting up another Camel* Have fun with SF99!

Do you want "EAT HOT FUCK" on the t-shirts?

Gee, I'm sorry you lost yr arm/PinkEye. I had no idea. But you sure can type well w/yr one hand. :)

call me crazy, but I'm all for the 'eat hot fuck' idea. Don't even put sorabji or a payphone or a piano on it anywhere. It's intantly recognisable (to us), and anyone who doesn't know will get a kick out of it too, before they turn and run. I don't even know if I'm saying this as a joke or not. ;)

it's also instantly recognizable to pretty much everyone i went to school with from '86 to '89. i need to put a trademark on that shit and turn it into a brand name.

I think, personally, that it would be an excellent name for a designer drug. So break out those Bunsen Burners, baby.

Or bumperstickers, that say simply, E H F That could be Sorabjivention 99's logo.

friend of mine is running off a bunch of t-shirts for a band's tour he does art direction for. i'm thinking about making a few designs including "eat hot fuck" and "non serviam" shirts. i can get some high-quality shirts done for relatively cheap if i throw them in his mix. i'll let you know if it gets off the ground.

That's be cool. But did anyone clear this w/His Markness? And pls. post the designs here/so we can decide which ones to order.

i've been planning on doing the t-shirt thing for years, so i wasn't really planning on including anything sorabji-related... but i'll shoot mark an e-mail and see if he wants to work on incorporating his brandname into some of the designs.

I think this is waaaaay cool. Although, I must admit I have to agree with R.C., I think Mark was swallowed alive by that mysterious cloud that's hovering around his computer. Perhaps the T-shirts should say: Seen Mark?

"Seen Mark?" & EHF wd be Perrrfect! (But only the initials EHF -- I'm not trying to sport anything too vulgar.) And maybe "Are there any news?"

R.C., wtf are you doing up? Haven't gone to bed yet?

I luckily don't think 'Eat Hot Fuck' will have copyright issues so use it with free will.

hands off my hot fuck.

"eat hot fuck" copyright 1999 blindswine productions. pladow. now i've just gotta wait for one of you wealthy bastards to crank out some shirts so i can retire to the islands early. goddamn i love america.

R.C., Ya know.. Crude is the only way to go anymore. You hardly seem like the blushing type. While we're considering slogans, how about, "Have you ever gazed upon the eyes of the boognish?" Atleast I think that's what that line was.

I do the inkjet tshirts all the time... I made Suicide Boy shirts (www.fractalcow.com) although I didn't ask permission first. I didn't sell them or anything, so it can't be that bad... Anyhow, if you take Mark's logo and invert the black and the white, it looks pretty nifty. It would look smooth as is on a black shirt too, but the transfers don't do white on black. I like Eat Hot Fuck too... Hmm. I'll see what designs I can whip out with that... Of course, if that's alright with Swine... I have a friend with a big heat press that makes the transfers turn out beautifully. I could probably crank out some Sorabji ones next time I'm there. How do you people suggest we share our designs for approval? Any word from the big M?

the big M wow

We're leaving contact to the Big M up to Swine. Mark is becoming like Orson from "Mork & Mindy" and the Big Giant Head from "3rd Rock from the Sun."

help yourself, t-bone. i want one when they're done, though. extra large. and don't let me find out you're independently wealthy... cuz i'll sue your pants off and use the proceeds to spend the rest of my days living like a king on some tropical island... after all, that is the American Way. as far as the "Big M", last i heard the thomas boy was locked away in a secret manhattan bunker with a truckload of pabst blue ribbon and a couple teenage runaways. apparently this facilitates the creative process. he's doing some big work-related project that goes live in the middle of the month. or so he tells me, anyway.

The boognish question on a t-shirt wd be boss! (Margaret -- I'm up again/not still. Gotta temp job for the rest of this week & part of next (while I play hurry-up-&-wait after the interview I had on Monday for a very cool job @ the YMCA)so I hadda be standing tall @ 8:30 a.m. behind a computer at a law firm -- a computer w/Internet access ;) Poor Six didn't know what to do w/her little self yesterday/being home alone all day. She's gotten used to having me home. She shredded the newspaper I'd left on the floor by the couch/which I'd planned to finish reading tonite. But at least she didn't piss on anything. So I get to check out Sorabji.com via Netscape. Which is just as slow as AOL & doesn't give clear pics from the OfficeCam.)

what happened to the boognish story? anyone know where to find it?

Did you try the Sorabji search engine? I can't believe Mark wd put the Boognish thread in cold storage.

http://bbs.sorabji.com/messages/649/720.html?SundayJanuary3119990346pm

:-)

I've done it. whaHAHAHAHAHAAaaaaa!!! just two for now, but I'll keep working. http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/Lofts/4966/shirt1 http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/Lofts/4966/shirt2 personally I like the boogernish one, cool, simple, 2 colors (=cheap), the url is even small enough to be burned on the same screen (=even cheaper), if my silk screening experience tells me so. It would even work on white. the other one I like less, it's really just a test, but I imagine taking out the 'seen mark?' and replacing it with the message topic of your choice.......oh yeah, baby. please excuse the simplicity, I'm in creative burn-out thanks to school ;)

now, how did I guess I was going to fuck that up? add a .jpg onto both of those, and please forgive me.

Boogernish? That's an interesting typo.

Very cute, Wisper! Love the Boognish one. But we gotta get it *just* right. I believe the correct query is: "Have you ever gazed upon the face of the Boognish?" See here for proof of that pudding: http://bbs.sorabji.com/messages/649/720.html?SaturdayMay819991002am Waaaaaaaaaaaaay cool, Wisper. Love that design.

Wisper, would you also be willing to take responsibility for the "men of Sorabji" trading card enterprise I have in mind?

This won't be like the Garbage Pail Kids cards will it?

hey, I never said I could spell. Fix that tommorow. The key word here is "draft". Face it, I've got boogers on the brain. Margaret: I live to give ;)

I cannot find it. It says "we are having trouble finding this page" etc. What to do now?

http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/Lofts/4966/shirt1.jpg http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/Lofts/4966/shirt2.jpg

Swine to the rescue. I figured it out from Wisper's f/u post but was waaaaay too lazy to even THINK about making life easier for anyone else.

thank you, Swine

The Boognish logo Rawks! Where do I send the check?

boognish (c)

ROFL becuz I just saw PJ's Garbage Pail Kids remark! No shit, though -- if you got Nate & Swine & Sem & whatever other hotties are hanging abt to pose for trading cards/I GUA-RAN-TEE it wd be The Bomb! If people will buy Beanie Babies/ they'll certainly buy Men of Sorabji cards. This site already gets a lot of random hype. Question is/cd we get them to do The Full Monty?

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Well, not me, anyway.

Sorry RC, if Jim says no he speaks for all of us.

My Full Monty pic anywhere would frighten and permanently scar small children, insects, and household pets. But maybe if the sash is placed just so....

Either it's The Full Monty for the lot o' ya... or Speedos. If I'm gonna have to pay for those cards/I want my money's worth!

fear not RC, we can always take their heads and put them on nude bodies, it's not difficult. The question is....do they get to choose these bodies? hee hee hee....

Um. Actually some might prefer my nude self versus me in a Speedo.

speedos are kind of like carrying a loaf of sourdough and a pair of coconuts around in a condom.

My point 'zactly! I wanna know who's packing & what caliber. ;) So was that analogy just to be cute? Or have you got the goodies/Natorious?

i don't brag about my goodies.

nate has a prosthetic testicle.

yeah man. you're lucky i know the heimlich or you might have choked on it.

plastic squirrel nuts?

"a prosthetic testicle"!!!! Oh man, Swine -- you had me dying there for a minute! Even though the thought is actually pretty gross. And stop picking on Nate, dammit! I swear/ sometimes I think you 2 are really brothers/the way you go after each other. But it takes a very specal brain to come up w/a prosthetic testicle... (Now don't start talking abt anyone's mother, either. It's too hot for that shit.) prosthetic testicle... Man/I wish I had someone to use that on!

I don't know who the special brain was, but a kid I knew while in junior high had a prosthetic testicle. He had lost one during a bad hernia, and for balance, had a fake one inserted. Don't you hate it how moms talk freely among themselves about the most embarrasing things when you're a kid? I know he did.

they sell them for dogs. "neuticles." no joke. don't the women of sorabji get a chance to be exploited too? I played with photoshop for the first time yesterday and I have just the photo. which I accidentally sent to some stranger yesterday. I meant to send it to [name]@mailcity.com, but accidentally sent it to [name]@hotmail.com. hahahahahaha. I hope he doesn't think I'm soliciting.

I suspect some women, namely lesbians, and those whose men like to be dominated by their women, might have, in addition to a strap on "wee-wee," have fake balls. If not, where would the home-made ejaculatory fluid come from?

can anyone come up with a decent term for the testicles? Nuts and balls just aren't aestheticaly pleasing.... hows that for a new thread, sexy terms for our private parts. I mean you all hot and bothered with your lover and you say (in a sexy Kathyleen Turner voice..)..."you have such wonderful...balls?" I would be ROFL pecker-mostly used in a jovial situation dong/dingy/ding dong-same as above dick-often used in a harsh tone cock-personaly this seems to be the most pleasing word used in a n intimate moment cunt-most agree this is an ugly word, phonetically vagina/penis-too clinical you get the idea

Vagina-the love canal,someone called mine that once and I cracked up and couldn,t do it.

love tunnel? how about bearded clam, thats a riot. -One-eyed snake, -substitute an reference to meat for penis -for those guys uncut, a snake w/t-neck sweater -jimmy -johnson -ram rod -

penis-the love muscle,the bearded clam is funny,but they aren,t always bearded these days.

Speaking of bearded clams... I was in this Sushi place w/ a British friend. He asked me what I was eating. I told him that I don't eat seafood (I'm a vegetarian), and made a passing reference to that notable exception. However, apparently, they don't have that term in the U.K...and apparently, he didn't catch on to my conspirational, lean-in-and-make-sure-you-can't-be-heard tone. So he says, at the top of his lungs "Bearded clam? What's a bearded clam?" He was, however, properly mortified when I explained it to him.

For whatever reason, my "Mr. Happy," used to be called "The Dragon," by some straight single female friends who had never even seen it. Otherwise they probably would have called it "The Teeeetsie Fly."

because you use it to transmit african sleeping sickness?

LOL!

No. Actually, African Slipping Sickness. Also gives you the Dropsie's!

Is tthat like the splats?

i had a case of the splits the other day. is that like the splats?

one of the best things I've ever heard out of a Scotsman was the phrase, "spear in the bearded clam".

How romantic.

men are swine. no offense, swine!

thats......UM........um....uhhhh...thats um..HILARIOUS ...Dave!!!

I thought it was funny too!

That's odd, I once heard a Jock use the romantic phrase, "Give her a poke in the whiskers." Those wacky Scots.

"romantic phrase." LOL

i bought a condom in Kauai a few weekends ago. it was in a flourescent green wrapper and it said in big black letters on the front: Puka Puncher puka means "hole" in hawaiian.

i have a condom in my pocket. i forget why i put it there. it's there right now. i've never needed one at work.

Um... like... has discussion of a Sorabji convention been completely tabled???

yes ma'am.

thanky kindly sir.

i was kind of wishing there could be sorabjites here this morning, to help me build a fence, but then i realized you would have to be medicoptered out within the hour and i'd still be stuck with all the work.

Says you. I've dug fence post holes before. And cleaned out stables. (Which is why I finally quit the Girl Scouts.) But keep me away from those buzz saws...

Doesn't Bill Clinton go around building fences? Or is that mending them?

kindly explain the connection between girl scouts and horse shit. i'm curious because i got kicked out of brownies for choosing to ride my horse in a parade instead of marching with my troup. can you earn an equitation badge? if so, i have wasted so many years of my life. for all the shit i shoveled, i never got no stinkin' badge. but power tools, that's a different story. give me a long extension cord and any device that rips, pounds, sprays, digs or shoots large projectiles. i even own my own chain saw. okay, it's a girly one, but nevertheless... my heart's desire is to have my own bulldozer.

Our troop leader was BIg on community service. Like cleaning up local parks/raking leaves in old ladies yeards/etc. She aked once if we wanted to take riding lessons for 10 wks. Everyone said yes & paid the appropriate fees. After our 1st lesson/it turned out that as part of the 'discount rate' we were charged for the lessons/we had to clean out all the stalls. Sneaky bitch! I quit G.S. after the last lesson. So I don't know if there was a badge issued or not.

I use to be a princess with my Indian Maiden tribe,all the yuppie mom,s seemed to think the nursing home I took the girls to at Christmas upset their little darlings,they wanted to go to the rich folks nursing home,well they should have got off their ass,s and been the princess.In 4 years I only accidently said shit once,one bad word from me in 4 years is pretty good.I loved how panic stricken my daughter Heather would get when we had sing- alongs and she would beg me to just move my lips.Princess Quiet Thunder.