| THIS IS A READ-ONLY ARCHIVE FROM THE SORABJI.COM MESSAGE BOARDS (1995-2016). |
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The band were also quite good I would say. The singer was unbelievably theatrical, but part way through I decided he may not be on my team (boo hoo) as he reminded me of many gay male friends - but hey, it's rock and roll, could go either way. Regardless, I do hope someone bites both of these men's asses soon though sadly it won't be me. |
ever see the supersuckers? all i have to say is, eddie spaghetti, stay evil!!! |
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My life has been totally insane for several months. Besides enjoying the extra hunky asses of men of rock in the past few months I have become a homeowner (well condo owner), been on a huge fucking diet and lost some much needed to be released weight, and learned to ride a bike (at age 33 - This American Life here I come). Anyway, let me just say that although I strongly recommend it, buying a home - it is hell on earth, esp for single chix like me. So much paperwork and madness, and terror you are doing the wrong thing, and oh ya, did I mention I was getting evicted at the same time from my old place? So much fun! Golly I wish you were all around to share the magic! So ya, I'd say I've been just about as stressed as one woman can get. But it is clearing now and the warm silky feeling that they can't throw my butt out of my house ever again or raise my rent or anything is totally deeply soothing. Like, the Dalai Lama, he's got nothing on me. And you should see how handy I'm getting with power tools. I even changed the locks on my door myself. I am a fucking woman of steel. And I bought a computer since I hear at work they have a crack team of high school students (I'm not kidding) monitoring which sites you are at on the web and taking you down if you are somewhere they don't approve of. You can't read The Onion or even Salon now, it's so dumb. Didn't want Sorabji to be next. OK everyone please tell me what's been up with you over the summer. Please sum up your whole lives in just a few hundred words if at all possible. I'm all ears (eyes?). |
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dinner lady, hey chica! what up with girls and guys asses? guys asses are not pretty, they should not be touched, looked at or sexualized in anyway, they are pure function. there is no fashion. stop it |
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Crimson agrees with me on this point, rather strongly and profoundly. |
a nice, tight piece of male ass. it's what's for dinner. |
I'm especially addicted to that spot just below where the neck meets the shoulder...mmmmmmmm...I call it the P Spot because it's the best pillow in the universe. I really think that's why men were invented..so when you have a nightmare, you can head for the P spot and get instant satisfaction. |
but alas i have ass isssues anyway, so pay no mind to me. (as if you were) |
pretty eyes aren't bad, either. & full lips. none of these little, thin, anemic things, but full cupid's bow lips. lips that you can actually get serious about kissing. i dunno...the backside, to me, just seems like the obvious place to focus. chest? i don't get it. but that's cool. each to her own. |
i can hear their heartbeat. heartbeats really creep me out. i had to spend a lot of time in my youth alone in a trailer in the woods w/ my great-grandmother. i had to get up at specific times, in the middle of the night, & put my head to her chest to make sure she was still alive. she kept pictures of dead relatives all over the walls. the walls were covered w/ turn-of-the-century pictures of people lying in their caskets, or dead on tabletops or doors (they used to put dead people on doors back then). i was surrounded by death. i was about 11 or 12. i kept dreading the night that i'd put my head to her chest & hear nothing. then it would just be me, alone in that little trailer out in the middle of nowhere, trapped alone w/ nothing but a corpse & pictures of dead people. when she was up & awake, she told me lots of stories about what happens to people when they die, & about people dying of horrible deaths, & cats eating corpses, all that shit. i don't like putting my head on people's chests for much over a minute. it's just too, too creepy. all i can think of when i lie my head on a man's chest is that he's going to die in the middle of the night, & i'll be stuck alone w/ a corpse in my bed. anything (drumbeats, whatever) that sounds like a human heartbeat kind of freaks me out. plus, i just don't find chests very aesthetic. there doesn't seem to me anything intimate or sexual about chests, to me...on men or women. so, back to the ass parade. |
It's always him putting his head on my chest, not the other way around. Anyway, it's all cool until he falls into a really deep sleep and starts drooling on my nipples. |
i was watching some documentary about australia.....they were talking some rugby champion and his coming out........and the co-hosts were talking about the male bonding of rugby.....and he proceeded to say (paraphrasing) if you don't understand the bond, the warmth, the security and the kinmenship of getting down and putting your head between the buttocks of your teamates, then you don't understand australia/rugby..... my jaw just continued to drop........as he went on..... wtf? |
If so, the boys are leading exponents of Australian humour....total gurus in this country. For those that understand, no explanation is necessary. For those that don't, no explanation is possible. I think you have to be born into our humour. |
written and hosted by author and art critic Robert Hughes It was a public television/documentary thing.....there was no humour, these guys were dead serious. Ahh, as I investigate the website more i find this http://www.pbs.org/wnet/australia/ Episode 1 "While Americans may think of surfing and beach parties as quintessentially Californian, the series' first episode, "Body and Soul," explains just how central the seaside is to Australian life. In fact, sport, fitness, physicality, and physical pleasure have become a metaphor for modern life "down under." But it wasn't always so. Daylight beach bathing was banned in Australia until the turn of the 20th century, and it has only been in the past 50 years that Australians have rebelled against their British Puritan legacy. The struggle continues as contemporary mores bring out the hedonism in some, and a devotion to conservatism and censorship in others." |
Our humour is very irreverent...I spent two hours once trying to explain to an American why we called you blokes "yanks" and how it had nothing to do with your little bunfight. |
Actually, what the hell does Yankee men anyway? I knew once but forgot. It's probably somethign obscene, if there's any justice in this world. |
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Second, nicknames are really important over here, everybody has at least one. If you're really short, you'll get called "Lofty" (a guy I know is a dwarf and he even now has Lofty on his licence) My sister has red hair, so she was called "Blue". Virgin airlines call themselves "Virgin Blue" here because their logo and planes have red signage. Anyway, for some reason Americans are nicknamed "yanks". It doesn't refer in any way to your Civil War. It's actually from the rhyming slang: septic tank - yank. It originated during WWII when the American's, under MacArthur, were based in Australia. We were as grateful as hell to you blokes for saving our bums. But the main thing that seems hard for most Americans to grasp is that it's really an affectionate term. Honest. The next course in Australian 101 will commence at 10.00am in lecture theatre 1. There will be a test at the end, and yes it will count towards your final mark. |
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new doot aboot it. |
Otherwise, you will have to explain now why 1940s Americans got equated with septic tanks in Oz. You can insult us all you want. We know you do it purposefully. However, sending over Paul Hogan was going a bit too far, and I think our feelings are a bit hurt. However, now Tommy Lasorda is in your country, so we may be even. (AndI am rooting for the Aborigine track star, too. She's pretty cute and she plans on waving both the Australian flag and the Aboriginal flag at the same time.) |
And we invented the beer cooler. Sheesh, quit whining. As far as your contribution to our culture...I just want to say: Billy Ray Cyrus. There can't be any excuses there, that was just outright brutality. And then there's MacDonalds. Roseanne. And "Friends" and "Survivor" and "902whatever". And pop tarts. Now they are just a secret plot to get us all so fat we won't notice when you blokes invade us. Actually, it was kinda frightening a few years back..they did a survey of school kids here and found Michael Jordan was the most popular sports star. Guess that says a lot about the americanisation of our culture. Re Cathy Freeman, the aboriginal track star...she's freakin awesome. She caused a lot of controversy when she carried both flags at the Commonwealth Games. I thought it was one of the defining moments in the racism debate. God I hope she wins...all the bigots will have to stand up and cheer. |
i think i will go write her name in my notebook and draw little pink metallic gel pen hearts all around it. under yours, of course.... |
she's so tough! http://www.angelfire.com/stars2/cathyfreeman/cpicgal.html |
And Mel Gibson is American, not Australian. He just grew up there. Do we have to bring out the vegemite thing again? Plus the whole Outback Steakhouse with the guy trying to sing in an Ozzie accent but just comes off all nasal and you want to kill him? Then there's Jacko. However, AC/DC does make up for a lot. Even for Silverchair. And Midnight Oil make up for the rest. |
How do people from the South fell when they go abroad and are called "yanks?" |
Australia fucking rules! (p.s. You have Outback steak restaurants over there...we have Lone Star steak restaurants over here...go figure) |
I din't even mention how Steve Irwin was once my short duration personal saviour. I've only known one Australian in real life, an exchange student named Steve Jones (Know him cat? just kidding). He would do Maori war dances in advanced Biology class. I know, Maoris are from NZ. |
He has an amazing sense of humour for a Republican (I have fun trying to convert him). Except, when we got together, he was kinda ashamed of my past as a card-carrying communist - because he had political ambitions and knew that wouldn't go down too well with his facist bully boy party - and that pissed me off. But I still love it whenever he says "pecan"... miaaooooowwwww. |
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And Enon kick everyone's ass. So did Skeleton Key and Brainiac, for that matter. Timmy Taylor, RIP. |
Yet not one of you have mentioned Yahoo Serious. Ick! However, I'm all for that Aussie actor who played the young version of the main character in Shine. He is delicious. This 'like you if we insult you' thing also makes me think - about this Aussie boy I know who I had a weekend long fling with a year ago. We just email now and it's only snotty comments and pissy jokes about the other one. Whenever I ask about his life he just ignores me and sends some barb. Does this mean he's trying to say WILL YOU MARRY ME? I get to interview Enon in a few weeks but I will not ask them about how awesome their asses are. For the record I'm no butt girl (I rather like upper arms and shoulders) but their asses were, as I said before, deeply exceptional. Still I fantasize: Q: So I'd like to get off the topic of your music for a moment, and talk about your great asses A: Excuse me? Q: Your great asses. You all have really great asses A: Um, thanks... Q: ... They look very round and soft. Can I touch your asses? A: Gee, that would be nice but I think we have to go on stage soon... |
Dennis Rodman Fran Drescher, in or out of character Dolly Parton Brittney Spears, and all similar clones Michael Jackson, and his sister-who-isn't-Janet The Drew Carey (sp?) Show TV evangelists - the entire breed I could go on but I need my breakfast. |
human beings are the only animal (I can think of) where the female sex drive is promoted by the male hormone (testosterone). in most other animals the female sex drive is triggered by the female hormone. men get about ten times more testosterone than women do, but that's because they Need more to get to that state of rediness. a large chunk of the testosterone males get comes from their testicals, so if you're trying to save your hair, you'll lose your sex drive. but maybe you can get a testicular transplant from your twin brother. how's that for closeness? I read this in some book when I was at work. I repeated some of it to student security and they asked me "What course is that for?" I said "No course. I just thought it was interesting." I think I liked it because it was badly written, and it talked a lot about the penis. the info may be out of date, but it's interesting, eh? |
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Peni are just endless fun. You can dress them up. Make them talk (I can't explain that one, it's too sad). They can do exercises. You can call them names. They look adorable wearing lipstick. You can make them do little victory dances. Try doing that with a cucumber, even an organic one. We're talking non-stop excitement and 24 hour fucking fun. |
speaking of which. we're trying to book a band called "The Priaprismics" for a show we're putting on here; they broke up about a year ago, though. *sigh* They only released one album: a seven-inch called "rock hard forever." beautiful |
And I thought eunichs were bald. |
I have a 24 hour hardon for Virgil's computer. But I guess that's different. I never feel embarassed buying cucumbers. Funny. I buy the little English ones. It is the English ones that are long and slender, right? |
Anyone know if Marion Jones and Cathy Freeman are racing directly against each other? |
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Cathy's qualified fastest so it's looking good. If you see any vision of it, note her running shoes - the colours of the aboriginal flag. |
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Three hundred fifty dollars. Three hundred _and_ fifty dollars dammit. It makes me laugh. Small things amuse small minds. You 'mericans should watch those Aussies carefully. They like to borrow things that arent theirs and claim them for their own. Footrot Flats and pavalova spring to mind. |
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AND did we see CAT on the Olympics televised here? Did we? Did we? |
Marion Jones is looking very good. So is Cathy Freeman. Actually, I couldn't care less if they were racing, I just like seeing them running. I feel the same way about the swimmers. I also really like the synchronized diving - it sounded cheesy but wow, that's something to see. |
The TV doesn't get NBC. Godamnit! |
Have sandal, will travel. |
Use the sandal to drink champagne from with my blessing. |
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