Gettin' Stoopid


sorabji.com: Reasons to be cheerful: Gettin' Stoopid
THIS IS A READ-ONLY ARCHIVE FROM THE SORABJI.COM MESSAGE BOARDS (1995-2016).

By Fetidbeaver on Thursday, September 21, 2000 - 12:15 pm:

    Top ten music requests from the downed Russian sub:

    1) You keep a knock'in but you can't come in.

    2) Rescue Me.

    3) I'm forever blowing bubbles.

    4) We all live in a broken submarine.

    5) I've just spent six days in a leaky boat.

    6) Under the sea.

    7) Breathless.

    8) I am the walrus.

    9) Baby it's cold outside.

    10) .....anything by air-supply


By Trace on Thursday, September 21, 2000 - 12:17 pm:

    #10 was the best!


By Isolde on Thursday, September 21, 2000 - 12:19 pm:

    *laugh*
    Very nice.


By Fetid on Thursday, September 21, 2000 - 12:26 pm:

    This just in off the AP news wire.

    Polish officals confirmed a twin seater Cessna aircraft crashed into a cemetery, there were no survivors. Polish officals also report that they continue excavating bodys. Death toll stands at 428 but is expected to go much higher.


By pez on Thursday, September 21, 2000 - 12:53 pm:

    oh my SICK!


By Nate on Thursday, September 21, 2000 - 12:58 pm:

    being a polack, i'm always amused when someone of a lesser mental stature tells jokes about how stupid the poles are.

    not you in particular, fb. the joke just made me think of it.


By Mavis on Thursday, September 21, 2000 - 01:19 pm:

    nate
    me too
    polish, czech, french canadian, iroquois....


By blindswine on Thursday, September 21, 2000 - 01:23 pm:

    we could all get together and make a bennetton commercial.





    or not.




By Wavy on Thursday, September 21, 2000 - 01:26 pm:

    I want to be the nekkid guy covered in blood!







    or not.


By Mav on Thursday, September 21, 2000 - 01:35 pm:

    i'll be in a bennetton commercial with ya'll


By J on Thursday, September 21, 2000 - 01:36 pm:

    Labor day came and went and I forgot all about this.......Fuck Jerry Lewis!!!!!


By blindswine on Thursday, September 21, 2000 - 01:39 pm:

    pffffft.

    i'm 100% down with that photoshoot.

    i wanna be the brotha in nyabinge gear wearing a necklace of screaming babylonian skulls.


    stuff that shit down your must-see-tv.




By Fetibeaver on Thursday, September 21, 2000 - 01:50 pm:

    OH! But everyone gets a turn. No discrimination here.


    A Texan went up to the airline check-in counter and boomed, "Howdy ma'am! My name's Brown, spelled
    B-R-O-W-N. Ah'm from Dallas, Texas. Ah'm 6 foot 3 inches tall. Ah'm white from th' top of mah head to th' tip of mah toes, and I hate the Irish".

    The ticket agent rolled her eyes and sent him to his seat.

    He turned to the man in the seat next to him and boomed, "Howdy suh, mah name's Brown, spelled B-R-O-W-N. Ah'm from Dallas, Texas. Ah,m 6 foot 3 inches tall. Ah'm white from the top of mah head to th' tip of mah toes, and I hate the Irish".

    The man turned to him and boomed, "Well now, how d'ye do. My name is Patrick Michael O'Donnell. I'm from Dublin Ireland. I'm 5 foot 6 inches tall, and I'm white from the top o' me head to the tip o' me toes, except for me rectum, which is brown, Spelled B-R-O-W-N".


By pez on Thursday, September 21, 2000 - 03:48 pm:

    chortles.

    i have a print-out around here somewhere that makes fun of the yankee navy. ooh, that sounds neat.

    yankee navy! yankee navy! yankee navy!


By Nate on Thursday, September 21, 2000 - 04:44 pm:

    well smack my ass and call me Hammurabi.

    i am a benneton commercial.


By droopy on Thursday, September 21, 2000 - 05:44 pm:

    liked the joke, fetid. i'm sending it to all my texan relatives and all my irish relatives.


By Isolde on Thursday, September 21, 2000 - 06:04 pm:

    *smacks Nate's ass and calls him Hammurabi,* as requested.


By semillama on Thursday, September 21, 2000 - 06:22 pm:

    I was watching Extreme Championship wrestling last week, and teh announcer namechecked Hammurabi.
    I was impressed.


By Fetidbeaver on Friday, September 22, 2000 - 11:47 am:

    TOP EXCUSES FROM FIRESTONE TIRE AND RUBBER:

    We thought Ralph Nader was to busy running for president to notice.

    Those tires were designed to be inflated with Cheese Wiz only.

    Years of working for Nike has softened the third world labor force. You just can't get 9 yr olds to listen anymore.

    We shouldn't have used that cheap air from Taiwan.
    It was a sincere but misguided effort to recreate for everyday commuters the fiery excitement of NASCAR crashes.

    Look!!! Over there!!! OPEC is raising fuel prices again!!!

    Operation Philip Morris' was proceeding nicely, but we accidentally started killing customers before our lobbyist were in place.

    Our reaserch and development was too busy developing new fragile porcelain brake pads to notice.

    Revenge for an April 2, 1998 when Firestone's CEO was cut off by a Ford Explorer on his way to work.


By Fb on Friday, September 22, 2000 - 01:26 pm:


By pez on Friday, September 22, 2000 - 01:38 pm:

    except that it's the wrong plane. didn't know that british airways flew from paris to new york.


By Fb on Friday, September 22, 2000 - 01:44 pm:

    Yes you're right, but let's not get anal retentive.


By Isolde on Friday, September 22, 2000 - 02:01 pm:

    Isn't Concorde grounded now? Like...permanently? I remember talking with someone about it over Missouri.


By Dougie on Friday, September 22, 2000 - 02:12 pm:

    Yeah, they flew the last stranded Air France Concorde back from JFK to Charles de Gaulle yesterday.


By Isolde on Friday, September 22, 2000 - 03:52 pm:

    Wow. That's pretty sad. I mean, all grounded just for one little plane...


By patrick on Friday, September 22, 2000 - 04:10 pm:

    considering the fucker has been in service for 30 years, it has a tremendous safety record, for being what it is. it's an amazing plane. the fleet was grounded to re-evauluate the design of having the wheel base so close to the engines and subsequently the fuel tanks. When planes land and take off they blow tires all the time.....thats why the have multiples....it's just inevitable...the fact that this sucker ran over piece of scrap, probably no bigger than a 8x10 sheet of paper, popped up nailed the fuel tank and killed all on board is a huge vulnerability.


By The Dinner Lady on Friday, September 22, 2000 - 04:24 pm:

    Ya know what they say,

    "You're no safer in 1st class"


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