satanic buttsex miracle wand


sorabji.com: Reasons to be cheerful: satanic buttsex miracle wand
THIS IS A READ-ONLY ARCHIVE FROM THE SORABJI.COM MESSAGE BOARDS (1995-2016).

By Nate on Tuesday, May 8, 2001 - 01:42 am:

    it's 8:55. it won't be by the time i hit post.

    i'm groovy, how are you?

    i watched apocalypse now friday morning. i woke up with a bongload, and watched apocalypse now with a glass of soy milk and a glass of pineapple nectar.

    i took another bongload whenever pot was being smoked. i took another when brando was reading poems aloud.

    apocalypse now enters into my brain and yanks the ripcord. it wakes something in me that i tend to package away in dark corners, though not from dislike. just out of habit, the way i peel labels off beer bottles.

    now time is different.

    i went to the brewery for a couple beers. redwood ales. it is easy to name things "redwood" or "mountain" around here. red ales are obviously "redwood".

    i sat with my roommate and watched the drunken locals. we talked about the failability of science and the potentcy of god.

    now we're back. and it is good.


By Cat on Tuesday, May 8, 2001 - 09:16 am:

    Lay off the sauce, and condiments, Nate mate.


By patrick on Tuesday, May 8, 2001 - 11:27 am:

    no.

    what the hell are you talking about cat?

    more sauce, more condiments!








    you can't get any better than that film...i like to bother my neighbors cranking that opening scene with the Doors to ridiculous volume levels.


By Czarina on Tuesday, May 8, 2001 - 11:33 am:

    More ass-sex!


By Hal on Tuesday, May 8, 2001 - 12:52 pm:

    See I'm a classic by nature, nothing like standing around a freakishly small TV connected to a VCR, drunk or stoned off your gourd and watching a platoon of helicopters fly onto a beach with Ride of The Valkeries playing up full notch. That and the description Sheen gives of the Cavlry commander is fucking brilliant.


By J on Wednesday, May 9, 2001 - 04:12 pm:

    I seriously thought I was tripping when I saw that movie,and I wasn't.


By Puggers on Thursday, May 10, 2001 - 11:27 am:

    Or is that the failability of god and the potency of Science? Or the fresh smell of Napalm in the Morning?
    I wish I was tripping.
    And I second the motion----more ass-sex.


    Kill the Faith,


By Nate on Thursday, May 10, 2001 - 01:47 pm:

    science is the religion of the day. we are ankle-deep in the next dark age and, with all this information to be had, do not even have a clue.

    science, where a select few really understand what's going on, and the rest blindly accept "studies" and "results" and "conclusive evidence" without having the first clue of what the science behind it means. science requires and receives far more faith than the other religions.

    we had this conversation, rooted in jeanette winterson, propelled by redwood ale.

    the potency of god has nothing to do with religion. don't mistake the truth with the pawns.

    the atheist builds a box for himself to live within. makes it pretty on the inside and doesn't care what's on the outside. the church builds a box for it's people. makes it pretty on the outside, and doesn't care what's inside.

    god doesn't build boxes. god says "fuck boxes".

    so do i. fuck boxes.


By J on Thursday, May 10, 2001 - 05:20 pm:

    And just yesterday I saw a guy on a caught on film video fucking a pinata,coincidence? I don't think so.


By Pug on Friday, May 11, 2001 - 11:03 am:

    Details at 11.


By Czarina on Friday, May 11, 2001 - 01:03 pm:

    I guess we won't have to act surprised at the "surprise filling" of that pinata.


By sarah on Wednesday, January 17, 2007 - 08:32 pm:


    i still can't get into scrabble because i can't remember the dumb username. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaeefux or some shit.


    anyway.


    i'm not really in a bad mood. senor and i are at genuine joe's coffee shop a few blocks down the street from our house. it's as far as we've ventured since saturday night.

    this ice storm has shut everything down. we haven't been to work all week, which has been so fucking awesome. i was supposed to have my annual doctor appointment this afternoon, but the hospital was closed. nothing to do but stay inside and read (about 10 pages from finishing Running With Scissors), cook magnificently complicated meals, bake luscious warm gooey cakes and cookies, and pet my dogs, and have lots of sex, and burn a bunch of music, and watch movies, and take naps.


    and i thought i hated winter.


    i've realized though after 5 1/2 years in austin that i don't hate winter, rather, i hate being cold.


    but winter is turning out to be a blessing this year. never thought i'd ever say such a thing. but i guess it's because a) winter here doesn't last very long and b) it rarely gets as cold as it has been for the past few days and c) the summers are so bloody hot that it's a nice relief.


    mostly winters here are very mild. i didn't think that my first 3 winters. my first 3 winters here i suffered terribly. the cloudy skies, the rain, the dreariness, the deadness, the early darkness, the insufferably fickle temperatures. i hated all of it. it made me depressed and it made me homesick for hawaii and i felt supremely stupid (and sometimes still do) for ever moving away from there.


    i'm getting the hang of winter though now. it's still not my favorite time of year, but i can get through it and enjoy it and not suffer. maybe because i've just had a 5-day weekend, a little mini vacation of sorts, but it seems to me that winter is relaxing. there's nothing important to get done. people have come to accept that i don't make plans and i don't go out and they pretty much leave me alone and don't expect much from me. i have sundays all to myself, while senor is off watching football all day. work settles into a steady, manageable pace. freelance projects become abundant. books get read. new recipes get created and tweaked and mastered. letters get written. big projects are put on hold and the little conquerable household and creative projects get attention. research gets done. i went and got a massage. i'll go get another in a couple of weeks. it's a time to reflect. sounds trite, but it's true.


    this is the kind of stuff that doesn't happen in the summer.



By eri on Thursday, January 18, 2007 - 12:20 am:

    Tell me about it.

    This ice storm has had an unusual effect on the locals.

    Spunky got a new job, no travel really, local, so he's driving my truck right now which leaves me carless.....no biggie really. I'm walking Micki to school in the frigid cold (I hate being cold, messes up the arthritis). The walk seems invigorating. I'm enjoying it. I'm talking to the crossing guard, having a good time. I head back, slip on the ice and land on my head.

    I slip and fall like the klutz that I am and land on the back of my head. Luckily I had a snow cap and a jacket with a hood on so I didn't split my head wide open but damn I hurt.

    I'm pale as hell, look like a ghost, and so do my kids (who are getting jumped at the bus stops). I so wish it wasn't winter in Missouri!!!!! Misery, I tell you, Misery!


By ... on Thursday, January 18, 2007 - 12:42 am:

    try aaaaaaew

    I just made out with a girl who chews with her mouth opened. she makes out the same way. hard to describe but it is kind of disgusting. and all the lights were on...


By droopy on Thursday, January 18, 2007 - 01:18 am:

    my sister - who lives in new braunfels - and i have been laughing about the widespread panic over the snow and ice here in texas. (she and i both have seen some serious new england winters). i didn't go to work today, but i wish i had. i was supposed to meet up with a guy to show him some old silent movie memorabilia i have. also, the stock shows and rodeo is going on and i wanted to see if i could sell some western type stuff i have.

    maybe next week.


By Antigone on Thursday, January 18, 2007 - 02:21 am:

    Yeah, I know. The schools were closed here and there's maybe a millimeter of "snow" on the ground.

    Pathetic.

    d00d... ... made out with a girl. Awesome.


By semillama on Thursday, January 18, 2007 - 02:03 pm:

    I just got back from a conference in Williamsburg, Virginia. It was in the 70s.


By agatha on Thursday, January 18, 2007 - 02:23 pm:

    Why did you make out with a girl who chews with her mouth open?

    I can't get into scrabble right now either, Sarah, because Cleo poured a glass of water on my laptop. It's being fixed right now, and will hopefully be back in a week or so. No scrabbly til then.

    I thought Nelly and I were going to hook up at ALA, but I HAVEN'T HEARD FROM HER. I'M TALKIN TA YOU, NELLY!


By blindswine on Thursday, January 18, 2007 - 02:23 pm:

    all the honeys call mark "pimpoji" in queens.

    pretty soon he'll be bare-chested crip-walking with a jewel-studded cane-- wearing a satin robe, sunglasses and velvet fedora tipped askew.

    things sure have changed.

    satanic buttsex miracle wand?
    no doubt.

    i remember when all the windows in the apartment were covered with aluminum foil.

    guess he decided to let the sunshine in.



By agatha on Thursday, January 18, 2007 - 02:24 pm:

    PS- where's nate?


By Dr Pepper on Friday, January 19, 2007 - 03:48 am:

    Blindswine, I remember someplaces in Texas, ppl cover their window using aluminum foil.....


By Cat on Saturday, January 20, 2007 - 10:31 am:

    Nate is still out there - leaving cryptic poems that tell about his deep black-red heart in gutters and other unworthy places.


By sarah on Monday, January 22, 2007 - 06:54 pm:


    DUM DUM DUM!

    ICE STORM '07!

    DUM DUM DUM!


    we got a big hoot out of it too. especially when the news film crew did a close-up shot of a piece of ice on the road that about a foot and half in diameter, then cut to shots of car accidents.


    i mean, if people didn't drive like complete fuck nuts, it wouldn't be that bad. but generally speaking down here they're just not equipped mechanically to deal with ice on the roads, nor psychologically equipped to be safe, considerate drivers.


    so in that sense, it really isn't safe to out when there's been freezing rain.





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