my pillow boy


sorabji.com: Reasons to be cheerful: my pillow boy
THIS IS A READ-ONLY ARCHIVE FROM THE SORABJI.COM MESSAGE BOARDS (1995-2016).

By pez on Saturday, June 2, 2001 - 04:47 pm:

    here we go, since i'm going to be all hyper.

    i used to sitaround in the college center a lot by myself, just writing and listening between classes. okay, "overhearing" with my notebook open so i could write down all the good quotes.

    there was a particular group i'd try to listen to, as they were the loudest and made the most outrageous comments. phil is amoung them most of the time.

    after a couple weeks of doing this, i noticed something. every so often i'd look up to see him watching me. not always while writing. one time when i was trying to nap i felt a nearby presence and opened one eye a crack to see him standing there.

    i begand getting up frequently so i could sachay by close while running some short errand. going to the restroom or putting something in the garbage can.

    then, last friday, one of the people he was talking to stopped me and asked about my shoes.

    finally a way into the fortess. (three couches arranges around a table that the group is severely territorial about.)

    i sat down and began chatting. the other people left, and phil and i ended up talking for the next hour, until my next class. he's a writer too, so i gave him a copy of my zine.

    later on, i gave him a ride home, since he usually rides the bus and i had nowhere to be.

    fast forward to tuesday:

    i got there at nine, after statistics. he gave me the first two issues of his zine (issue number three came out on wed.) and a mix cd he'd made. metal. i normally don't listen to metal, but i was quite pleasantly surprised at how easy to listen to it was.

    by then, i was smitten. i rushed to the iprc once it was open (tuesdays i'm always downtown in the afternoon) and gushed about phil to nicole, who was running it that day. i rushed home again and made a mix tape for phil of my music. "i got these wings for 99 cents at goodwill".

    i got him turned on to kittie and bjork. bjork surprised him, since he'd badmouthed her before.

    by wednesday, i'd been dubbed "phil's girl" and the two of us were made to suffer middleschool-esque teasing. chris would hit on me and phil'd "phil-fu" him off.

    the cracks are continuing, but i think i'm being recognized as a person in my own right by his friends. the cracks don't begin until we're together. it sortof sucks that way but i can understand because boys are immature that way. heckling, that's it.

    yesterday, i surprised phil with clawlike hands creeping down over his face before sitting down on the end of the couch. phil's face was about four inches from mine, we're staring into each other's eyes, then all of a sudden isaiah's shrieking, "phil, dude! do i have to write it out for you?!?!"

    boys.


By agatha on Sunday, June 3, 2001 - 12:21 am:

    have you two smooched?


By Nate on Sunday, June 3, 2001 - 03:02 am:

    typically i'd ask,


    fucked?



    then, i'd expect a no, and i'd suggest


    fuck him.



    but


    i'm not going to.


    beerbourbongin.

    bongin.

    hehn

    hehhhh


    FUCKING GAAA


    i'm listening to europe.


    the final countdown.


By agatha on Sunday, June 3, 2001 - 12:39 pm:

    possibly one of the worst songs ever! you exhibited an amazing amount of restraint there, nate, while still actually saying what you were going to say. good job!


By Nate on Sunday, June 3, 2001 - 01:38 pm:

    i was incredibly drunk last night.

    now i'm listening to rick springfield. jessie's girl, of course.

    and i don't think you should fuck phil, pez. at least, not soon. not too soon.

    the first date i had (after getting all freaked out about women in third grade) ended in sex. i never had a genuine innocent build up.

    i say this because in the past, pez, you've indicated that you felt i held innocence in a negative light. and i don't.


By semillama on Sunday, June 3, 2001 - 05:47 pm:

    Yeah, hold off on the fucking for at least six dates.

    (side note: I just read about Kittie's next album. Apparently they've been listening to a LOT of Slayer)


By dave. on Sunday, June 3, 2001 - 06:50 pm:

    also, pez: don't even pretend that this guy is the one for eternity. i mean go ahead and pretend but. . .you know what i mean.

    your dna has a way of tricking you like that. fight it! see through it!

    i'm totally serious.


By heather on Sunday, June 3, 2001 - 07:14 pm:

    that's quite an assumption



    she's a girl
    she met a boy


    woohoo
    don't sleep with him


By dave. on Sunday, June 3, 2001 - 07:24 pm:

    it's more than an assumption.

    IT'S A FACT!


By heather on Sunday, June 3, 2001 - 07:35 pm:

    what's a fact? that she'll want to keep him?


    really


By pez on Monday, June 4, 2001 - 03:04 am:

    listen, he's never even dated a girl before, let alone kissed one. fucking is out of the question at the moment.

    it's both scary and amazing the way that two minds can connect by things that are completely random.

    i want to take it slow this time. you only hold power over a guy if you have something "dangling over his head" and he know's he'll have to work in order to get it. it's not too hard to figure out.

    this week i'm going to more of my classes so he'll just have to wait. besides, finals are coming up.


By dave. on Monday, June 4, 2001 - 03:22 am:

    what do you need to hold power over a guy for?


By Antigone on Monday, June 4, 2001 - 09:49 am:

    Talk about fucked up. Pez isn't innocent. She's already become a manipulator.

    Shit, pez. I thought you were a nice person. Guess I was wrong.

    He should dump you now.


By Nate on Monday, June 4, 2001 - 10:11 am:

    oo.


By patrick on Monday, June 4, 2001 - 12:56 pm:

    talking about your potential realtionship on sorabji could potentially ruin your potential relationship.


By Spider on Monday, June 4, 2001 - 01:20 pm:

    I know, really.


By pez on Wednesday, June 6, 2001 - 01:35 am:

    troo.

    i'm mean. i'll admit it. but i don't make him dance. i'm the only one who can say dance and he'll do it.

    it's not even like dating, really. i hold the 'title' of "phil's girlfriend" but we don't hold hands or kiss. it means we get teased and he rests his arm on my shoulder.

    maybe i'm using him. i don't know. but i've integrated myself into the group and they all say i'm cool.

    but i can really be a chickenshit sometimes.


By patrick on Wednesday, June 6, 2001 - 12:50 pm:

    i just get blown away by the fact you are 19 and are "dating" a guy who has never dated a girl before nor kissed a girl before. I assume this guy is your age since he is hanging around the college center.

    what you describe seems so juvenile, even for your age.

    Im not necessarily benchmarking sex with this either. I first had sex at 18, a highschool senior. But but by the end of my first year in college, i had dated several gals, kissed, and sexed a few others, taken trips to the beach at the drop of a dime, travelled to other cities to see music, stayed in hotel rooms styaed out all night, watched sunsets and sunrises on the hood of my car so and so forth. In otherwords, my behavior at 19 is not a whole lot different than it is now. eh, nevermind me.


    Did you move out of your parents grip yet?


By patrick on Wednesday, June 6, 2001 - 12:52 pm:

    i should iterate...




    have fun!


By pez on Wednesday, June 6, 2001 - 05:40 pm:

    fuck, i can't even stay out after midnight unless i call.

    haven't moved out yet. i'm too cheap. besides, i haven't been in contact w/my prospective landlord for weeks.

    it's getting worse. my parents want to have me back on ritalin. they say "you haven't reconsidered it at all" when i've been reading on the subject. i don't want to take it. i'm not hyperactive and i'm intelligent, what more could a person ask for?

    one thing about having a "boyfriend": less of the scuzzies hit on me.


By Nate on Wednesday, June 6, 2001 - 06:07 pm:

    don't let your parents drug you.


By patrick on Wednesday, June 6, 2001 - 06:47 pm:

    men are not on this earth to "protect" you from the "scuzzies". learn to address the issue yourself, its the only thing to do. Its a must to be a strong, confident woman in this day and age i think. Ive only stepped in between my wife and assholes on a few occassions, after she expressed desire for help. I let her handle herself.



    wait a minute, you are over 18 right? Have you ever told your parents to fuck off? Im just wondering. And I know thats not the "right thing" but god damn if your parents dont drive me up the wall. What would happen if you didnt come home by midnight? What are they going to do "ground" you? You are a young adult and they need to respect you as one and let you start making decisions for yourself and what drugs you take is a good place to start. When to come home is another. If they pull that "my house/my rules" shit, leave.

    Pez you CAN get out if you want to. You just have to WANT to. You can obtain a plethora of jobs that will pay for a place to live, possibly with a roomate. I dont see any other option. Otherwise your parents are only perpetuating a cycle of dependency.


By agatha on Wednesday, June 6, 2001 - 08:47 pm:

    i agree wholeheartedly. it is not a healthy situation you are in right now. it's time to find your wings.


By agatha on Wednesday, June 6, 2001 - 08:49 pm:

    let me elaborate on that slightly:

    i don't think you should tell your parents to fuck off, but i do think you need to stand up to them and tell them that you are an adult and you can make your own decisions about your body and what you put into it. and tell your dad that i think he's a sick fuck for killing your rabbit, if you will pardon me for saying so.


By pez on Thursday, June 7, 2001 - 08:02 pm:

    my parents are a little more wary of my actions. i told them that i wasn't going to eat their meat any more. and i haven't.

    about the scuzzies: why is it that all the weirdos pick on me? i don't like it...makes me nervous.

    i'm 19.

    why is it that i just let them walk all over me? i've always been a good girl...trying to do the "right thing" and it gets me nowhere.

    i don't know what i want. it's sort of stupid i guess. always talking about the future--big house? nice car? kids?

    i'd rather share a space with people who at least attempt to understand the world around us rather suppressing it with capitalism and whitewash. i can take being a poor student, a "starving artist".

    i've lived on the approval of others for so long that i almost think i'll starve to death without it.

    i always used to read about how people are supposed to leave places as good or better than they find them. could that apply to people too? whatever happened to the honest hardworking person with a dream that didn't include a pension and an hmo?

    pampered.

    i lack confidence in myself. i dream and dream and dream, only to throw them away for simple pieces of paper.


By Nate on Thursday, June 7, 2001 - 09:39 pm:

    "i've lived on the approval of others for so long that i almost think i'll starve to death without it."

    whose?

    one of the greatest things i ever realized is that the only approval i need is my own.

    it keeps my karma in order, too.

    do i fully believe it? in the core of my being? of course not. it's more of something to practice. as time passes, you get better at it.

    conscious decisions are wonderous things.


By agatha on Thursday, June 7, 2001 - 09:49 pm:

    the approval thing will get better once you move out on your own. it did for me.

    i still have icky men bother me all the time, and it was far worse when i was younger and single. i started wearing a ring on my marriage finger so that they would leave me alone, but it almost never works. you just need to be firm with them, and don't let them feel like they have the power.


By Spider on Friday, June 8, 2001 - 08:18 am:

    Don't think you have to be nice all the time, either. When someone is disrespectful to you, it's okay for you to get ugly.


By Spider on Friday, June 8, 2001 - 10:10 am:

    Speaking of ugly....this is going to sound vain and weird and unattractive, but I have to share.

    I slept less than two hours last night. I have no makeup on. I'm in my pajamas, for God's sake. But do you know how many people have flirted with me today? Five. It's only 10 am, too. Even the ladies are strangely friendly. This is very interesting. I wonder if I'm emitting some kind of pheromone...


By droopy on Friday, June 8, 2001 - 11:11 am:

    there's just something intimately sexy about a woman in cotton pajamas and no makeup


By Spider on Friday, June 8, 2001 - 12:09 pm:

    Keep talking like that and I'll send you a picture. This is a threat.


By heather on Friday, June 8, 2001 - 12:15 pm:

    we all want a picture. this is the truth.


By droopy on Friday, June 8, 2001 - 12:29 pm:

    promise, spider? i'll send you a bad picture of me when i was drunk. and the shrine to san miguel and the holy dirt of chimayo valley.


By patrick on Friday, June 8, 2001 - 12:35 pm:

    a girl in her jammy jams is that much closer to being in bed, so to speak.

    it also emits confidence, confidence that says your make up and dolled up hairdo don't matter. Confidence is sexy. The fact that you don't care is pretty attractive


    pez.

    your situation requires action. its summer, school is out (assume) its time to move forward. a 19 year old shouldnt be where you are at, as far as parental dependency goes.

    Start by realizing that weird scuzzy men are going to do weird scuzzy things. Im guessing you are attractive, I know you are tall, so you know this goes with the territory. I don't think anyone can stress enough BE STRONG. Im also guessing, that you probably slump, carry your shoulders low...everything you have said here reaks of no confidence and insecurity. This might as well be on your forehead. People can sense it. Taking many photographs of insecure people, trust me, its easy to detect weakness. Otherwise its a reality, you have to find a way to deal with it maturely, and strapping a boy on your arm isnt the way.

    Second, i highly recommend leaving your parents. they have conditioned you, knowingly or not, to require their approval and order. You MUST break that cycle.

    Telling them you arent eating their meat is not getting you anywhere, and only adding fuel to their fire that you are "some misguided child" and makes their resolve to "correct" you more absolute.

    Find a roomate, secure a good summer job if you haevnt already and get out. Its not hard. You can sign legal documents all on your own...you don't need your parents for anything. Forget about the vegetarian house/basement thing. Find a friend or at least someone tolerable and get your own place. Make your own rules, provide for yourself. You can do this, and once you do, issues of dependency and security i think will get better for you. I mean everone has been saying the same thing here for a while now...we've all been somewhere near where you are at, trust us.


    Ironically i picked up Go Ask Alice one morning out to the bus...got it at a garage sale recently for 50cents. Have you read this pez? I think of you when reading it. I wonder if the book wasnt actually propaganda.


By Spider on Friday, June 8, 2001 - 01:06 pm:

    Droopy. If you send me a picture of yourself drunk, I will cry. Send me a picture of a big fat grin on your face.

    I make no promises of reciprocation. I don't want to contribute to your fondness for the drink.

    That goes for all of you.

    Pez: Have courage.


By Nate on Friday, June 8, 2001 - 01:12 pm:

    damnit, spider.


By semillama on Friday, June 8, 2001 - 01:15 pm:

    I thought Spider was against her photographic image being observed by human eyes.

    The phrase "I don't want to contribute to your fondness for the drink" makes me want a beer.


By Nate on Friday, June 8, 2001 - 01:17 pm:

    i was thinking some good, icy vodka.


By agatha on Friday, June 8, 2001 - 02:21 pm:

    i wouldn't mind a glass of wine.

    i think pez needs to move to olympia. it's a nice, nonthreatening place to be for the first time one is living on one's own.

    i called in sick today.


By semillama on Friday, June 8, 2001 - 03:19 pm:

    My annoying boss (not the important one) resigned today. Came as a bit of a shock, but then my work productivity just shot up after that! (Except for right now of course).


By Nate on Friday, June 8, 2001 - 03:46 pm:

    i just ate a bacon whopper with cheese and large fries. and a bigass dr. pepper sits at hand.

    it's been a bad week.



    pez can move in with you and dave, agatha. i bet you wouldn't make her eat meat.




By patrick on Friday, June 8, 2001 - 03:48 pm:

    live in babysitter


By Nate on Friday, June 8, 2001 - 04:04 pm:

    i was thinking hand servant, but whatever.

    of course, she's too young to do beer runs for dave.


By agatha on Friday, June 8, 2001 - 04:20 pm:

    our house is the size of a postage stamp. i wouldn't make her eat meat, but i can't vouch for dave. he's pretty damn psyched about his new george foreman lean mean grilling machine.


By pez on Friday, June 8, 2001 - 08:12 pm:

    can i bring my cat?

    finals are next week and i haven't played piano in ages.

    currently in the process of telling phil i don't really like him "that way".

    a friend of mine needs someone to dog-sit for a week, so i'm thinking about asking for the job.

    in the meantime, sort the old stuff and have a garage sale. if nothing else, my room will be clean and my parents will leave me alone for two days.

    i told some friends about the rabbit thing and now they're afraid. i never thought of my family really as that bad.

    fucking a, i've never been away from my parents more than two weeks, and they paid for it that time.

    uncertainty is the queerest feeling. like being sick only you can't just lie there.


By pez on Saturday, June 9, 2001 - 03:39 am:

    i'm scared.

    i'm sitting in a friend's house in vancouver, typing on her computer. (thanx, harms)

    i started talking about police brutality with my parents at dinner. i brought up an exampple and they asked me how i knew it ever happened. so i brought out the newspaper (street roots, a homeless newspaper) showed my mom the article. she barely glanced at it, then turned the page and saw a drawing of a topless woman. she didn't care what i'd said, just the woman's bare boobs.

    i ran to my room because i couldn't argue anymore. i grabbed my backpack, purse and bag of copies and ran outside to my car.

    i just barely got in and locked the doors and started the car when my dad got to me. he hit and kicked the passenger window, and when i didn't stop, sat on the hood. i kept going and he fell off.

    i drove to work and told harmony what happened, so my car's in gresham (my parents own it) and i'm here in vancouver.

    tomorrow i'm going to call my parents from downtown portland (i'm going to go w/harms back to gresham in the morning and catch the max) and find out if my dad's ok and if he went ballistic on sylvie. i'm not going to go back to living at home. i'll get a couple of friends to help me get some essentials out of there, plus sylvie, and then i'll be gone.


By dave. on Saturday, June 9, 2001 - 11:33 am:

    did you happen to catch any of that on video?



    if he hits you, press charges.


By agatha on Saturday, June 9, 2001 - 01:52 pm:

    i'm so sorry, pez. you can do it all on your own. your parents will eventually respect you for it, believe it or not.


By Antigone on Saturday, June 9, 2001 - 02:30 pm:

    Glad you're out. Stay out.

    And, has anyone here thought of the possibility
    that pez's parents would sue Sorabji for providing
    a forum that corrupted their innocent child?
    Seriously.


By semillama on Saturday, June 9, 2001 - 04:21 pm:

    If so, then we should all just sort of "show up" at her house and explain a few things to her parents.

    If Mavis would ever answer her email, I would suggest you contact her. She knows a lot of cool people like you in Portland Pez who may be looking for a roommate, or who could at least suggest someone.
    redhotmavis@hotmail.com


By dave. on Saturday, June 9, 2001 - 04:32 pm:

    she's not their fucking child anymore. she's ours.

    no, really, maybe a couple of years ago they would have a case. now, they don't. i suppose they could try.

    pez, if you need me to come down there and kneecap poppa, just say the word.


By pez on Saturday, June 9, 2001 - 05:29 pm:

    i haven't talked to my parents yet. i'm afraid to.

    i went w/harmony back to gresham this morning and
    caught the max to downtown. i'm at the iprc now, on
    one of their computers.

    i will go back in a couple of days, to get some clothes
    and to take sylvie, but right now my future is uncertain.
    where will i be tomorrow? sleeping in a shelter?
    crashed on a friend's couch?

    i have already proved to myself that i can be strong. i
    fucking ran out on my parents and left my father sitting
    on the street. its not that bad. i'm not cold or starving
    and i was able to wash my hair this morning.

    the only thing is that i have work tomorrow. i have no
    socks, one shirt i've worn and slept in for the last two
    days, a pair of dirty jeans and i'm wearing saltwaters.
    bad for the dress code.

    but it's hitting me now: i'm free. i can do what i want to
    do, and nobody's going to stop me. i can stay out all
    night. i can go without calling home. i can leave the
    majority of my material possessions at the drop of a hat.

    i can depend on myself, and there are plenty of people
    who care about not just my general welfare, but my
    mental health as well.

    i'm extremely lucky.


By Cat on Saturday, June 9, 2001 - 09:19 pm:

    I'm not sure who the ignorant party is here but if it is your parents suggesting the Ritalin, as you claim, then move home immediately. You see, while Ritalin, for some strange reason, works to control ADHD in young children, it is really a stimulant. On an adult it has a similar affect to speed - a nice little friendly buzz that will have you tap dancing like Astaire.

    So move home, get the Ritalin, sell it at college and be popular and rich at the same time.


By dave. on Saturday, June 9, 2001 - 09:57 pm:

    not very nice, cat.


By Trace on Saturday, June 9, 2001 - 10:19 pm:

    Pez.
    I am glad you are out, just please be careful.
    And as far as the freedom, enjoy it while you can, and do not move in with any guy for at least a year so you can develop your own sense of you. You will not find your true self until you are on your own.


By Cat on Sunday, June 10, 2001 - 01:20 am:

    Fuck you, you dave.


By dave. on Sunday, June 10, 2001 - 02:11 am:

    sheesh. do i need to watch my mouth? be sympathetic? i've been concerned about you, but if it'll make you feel better:

    you wanna fight?

    because i will.


By Cat on Sunday, June 10, 2001 - 02:14 am:

    You know, I'm feeling quite miffed now. I'm starting to feel really censored here and I don't like it. If I see glaring discrepancies in someone's story, I'll bloody well point them out.

    I liked it better when we were allowed to be honest and sometimes sarcastic and even cynical. This whole "nice" routine is so lame and fake. And I don't get who appointed Agatha and dave. to the position of sorabji moral gatekeepers.

    I don't happen to think Pez is mature enough to leave home. She needs to go into a college or a boarding situation as a half-way step. You'd be doing her more of a favour by encouraging her to look critically at her actions and think things through before acting. Present her with some facts about having to rely on your own ends instead of just telling her to move away from what is obviously a fairly comfortable, if strict, home. All this "you go girl" may make you feel quite warm and fuzzy, but it's not necessarily the best thing for Pez.

    What's more, if it was my beloved daughter driving off in anger, putting herself and other motorists at risk, I'd certainly be hitting the passenger window and sitting on the hood. Even if it meant some jumped-up bloke with only half the facts was going to offer to "kneecap" me.


By dave. on Sunday, June 10, 2001 - 02:48 am:

    i have the same feelings about being the hero here. i'm no hero. my instinct is that they're all being a bunch of smartasses, which i can appreciate.

    i support pez. i think she's smart enough to live by herself. i think she'll make tons of mistakes but that's a part of being independent. i made mistakes. you (cat) made mistakes.

    of course we don't have all the facts but i put myself in the position of her father and cleo in the position of pez 12 years from now. and then i think about myself when i was that age. based on that, her dad is a shithead.

    your remark that she's not mature enough to leave home is bunk. she can only grow and mature away from her parents who seem to get off on controlling her. she can only gain their respect by proving that she can get by without them. right now, they don't think she can do it and, apparently, you don't either. that sucks.


By agatha on Sunday, June 10, 2001 - 03:05 am:

    how did i become involved in this?

    you think i'm a moral gatekeeper? that's fucking hilarious.

    shit, i'm going to bed.


By dave. on Sunday, June 10, 2001 - 03:10 am:

    besides, cat. you used to dish on trace all the time and ignore any such comments about censorship or unfairness. apparently, you have a different criteria for criticism from you to others as opposed to others towards you. i think maybe you need to grow up. you're starting to sound like all of the newcomers that get upset that they're not being taken seriously. i find it hard to believe that you're a successful journalist. pain in the ass prima donna is more like it.


By Cat on Sunday, June 10, 2001 - 05:16 am:

    Your last comments were quite unnecessarily savage. I don't see what my profession has to do with me getting cranky on a board. I like you (dave) far too much to hit so low in return, so getting back to my oh-so-offensive post. Incidentally, I didn't see your post before I posted my blurt or my reaction might have been different.

    What would not have been different is my opinion. Because I don't think Pez is very mature doesn't make me a child molester. She has said herself that she has no idea about supporting herself and mentioned selling a leather jacket to get money together for a bond. And I don't like the idea of a girl from a sheltered family suddenly on the streets with no money whatsoever. That's why I suggested a hostel etc.

    I speak from experience here, incidentally, having left home at 18. I sometimes wish to hell that someone had told me to think again. I may not have been so quick to write off the only people who really loved me.

    But back to fending off the counterattack. Nope. You've criticised my criticism of your criticism of my criticism. I don't think we need another layer. I'll let you have the last nasty words.


By Cat on Sunday, June 10, 2001 - 05:18 am:

    This is my last post on this thread. Dave knows my email addy if he wants to carry it on.


By dave. on Sunday, June 10, 2001 - 01:02 pm:

    cat, stop being so hormonal. comparing mere disapproval to censorship? taking cheap pot-shots and then whimpering when a few get fired back? that's where the comment about your profession comes from. i'd like to think you'd be a little more thick-skinned about how your words are accepted by your audience.

    i like you too, cat. come back in a week or whenever your cycle ends.


By patrick on Sunday, June 10, 2001 - 02:04 pm:

    jesus



    pez im glad to you've left.


    you know when i told my mom i was quitting college and moving in with a girl she freaked. college was her last means of financial control. then when i told her i was moving out of state, from raleigh to atlanta with said girl she went ballistic on me, told me id fail, i wouldnt make it, dont come crying to her for money etc. etc. etc. she said these things to keep me near her. it was only 2 years later, when i married, even paid for my own damn tux after she refused to buy it for me, and remained completely independent.....did i get her respect. ive never had to ask for money, nor needed to crash on their couch.

    it takes time, parents are going to do all kinds of irrational things in the meantime. doesn't make them right.

    i too am confident pez can bode well for herself. you have to start somewhere, sometimes its more bumpy than others. her living conditions were not condusive to becoming an independent young adult.

    getting job, your own place to live, looking after your own things, and possibly even putting yourself through school is.

    good luck pez....let us know how things turn out.


By crimson on Sunday, June 10, 2001 - 02:13 pm:

    good luck. there's no reason for anyone of your age to still be living at home. none. you're a grown woman & need to be on your own. it can be tough at first, but do whatever it takes to retain your independence. as long as you let your family (or anyone else) tell you what to do, you'll be living like some kind of puppet instead of a human being.

    fly & be free.


By sarah on Sunday, June 10, 2001 - 03:16 pm:


    pez, i am so excited for you. i have been in very similar situations over and over throughout my life, and while it's scary, it's also liberating. but more importantly, you are now in a very *powerful* position, where you are forced to claw your way through life for a while while at the same time, all the doors of possibility are wide open, and you get to choose which ones you want to walk through.

    i don't mean to sound esoteric about it, but the fact is, when you take big risks, or when you willingly put yourself in survivor mode, and sacrifice your comfort and security in order to change, it may be really hard, and not everything turns out roses, and like dave says, you'll make a lot of mistakes, but now your whole world is open to change, and the possibilities are nearly limitless.

    good luck, pez. be smart, be careful, and have fun!!





By wipser on Sunday, June 10, 2001 - 03:35 pm:

    you rule pez.
    hitchhike to Ont. we'll party


By Cat on Sunday, June 10, 2001 - 06:05 pm:

    No dave, I'll be back whenever I bloody well like. And the fact that you even think you have the right to tell me to stay away is, to quote one of my favourite poets, rifuckingdiculous.

    I always know when a man is on shaky ground when he starts to bring menstruation into the argument. That's really disappointing sexist twaddle from someone I thought was more enlightened. I'll take all the criticism and debate you can bring on, but leave my womb out of it.

    I still don't get what my being a journalist has to do with whether I think you're being a wanker. If you're talking about critics of my work, knowing I get paid three times as much as them usually helps to ease the pain. In my professional life, my employer pays me to take creative risks and any ensuing controversy is all part of the package.

    So the message is: pay me six figures and you can bloody well criticise the hell out of me and I'll smile all the while.

    But if we're going to bring jobs into it...I would have thought that dealing with photocopiers might have made you less of a duplicate of every other asshole around.

    My comments about your recent censorship relate to other posts of yours on the "my dick is so big" thread as well. You know, where you and Agatha jump on the "people" (I hate gutless references, name names if you're having a go at someone) who you consider to be too bossy:

    "i love how so many of you like to say who should or shouldn't be here and why and tell people what "this place" is all about. please."

    I think you're doing exactly that now. In my over-inflated non-professional opinion, you are being hypocritical in this switch from nasty-sarcastic-fuck-you-newcomers dave, to nice-defender-of-Pez dave. That's all.


By dave. on Sunday, June 10, 2001 - 09:11 pm:

    i think you've been itching to do that for a while.

    i'm really curious to see what this whole situation looks like in your mind. you don't make any sense. if you're going to go the "i can say whatever i want" route one minute and then the next minute tell people they have no business being critical of you or if they are going to be critical of you, that there is an approved-by-you format for that criticism, you might, at the very least, consider declaring yourself queen of the world so that we all know where you get your authority.

    i never told you to stay away. you said you were done here. i was inviting you back when you felt better. welcome back, cat.


By agatha on Sunday, June 10, 2001 - 09:20 pm:

    I still don't understand how my name got into any of this, dammit. It really pisses me off.


By Trace on Sunday, June 10, 2001 - 10:09 pm:

    No one is ready when they move out of their parents house for the first time. It is a learning process.

    Hell, I am 28 and I still have a lot to learn.
    Sometimes I feel like a boy playing house pretending to be an adult.

    Live and learn.
    There is no other way to do it.


By Cat on Sunday, June 10, 2001 - 10:35 pm:

    I was going to leave this alone until you drew my womb into it and issued me your-so-kind invitation to return. I presume that you've started picking up the tab for the boards since you get to tell people whether they are welcome or not?

    You may be correct about me wanting to have a go over this for some time. I'm tired of the "that's not nice" attitude and miss the days of "fuck you, you ass".

    As a side note - I'm a republican, so if I was going to declare myself anything, I'd go for President. If you're going to insult me, call me a fucking loser but don't call me a monarchist.

    My point is that criticism only seems to be OK when it's you protecting one of your love children. And it seems strange coming from one of the most cynical, critical people on the boards. That's not an insult, I like a bit of argy bargy, but not only when it has your stamp of approval.

    Now that I'm not miffed, I'm laughing at your over-reaction to my over-reaction to your criticism.

    And Agatha, yes you're right. Sorry to drag your name into it. It's just that I get really annoyed at the way you make general criticisms without naming names. For example, your comment re the "bosses" of sorajbi on the now infamous "dick is so big" thread. That's no excuse and it's really no big deal. It's also a disparate issue and I should have addressed it that way. My apologies.


By droopy on Sunday, June 10, 2001 - 11:46 pm:

    this weekend on "wait wait...don't tell me" they mentioned something about a researcher who had found that sitting in a la-z-boy recliner had the same effect as ritalin. i didn't know exactly what effect ritalin has, so i looked it up:

    The short-term effects of Ritalin are increased attentiveness and energy, a feeling of well being, faster heartbeat and breathing, high blood pressure, perspiration, dilated pupils and dry mouth. The user may be more talkative, restless and excited. They may feel powerful, superior, aggressive, and even hostile.

    y'all need to stay off the ritalin.

    a la-z-boy would be much better.

    go pez.


By dave. on Monday, June 11, 2001 - 12:11 am:

    i made no pledge, signed no contract, issued no press release declaring that i was going to be consistent about anything here on strangle. you are the one, ironically, calling others on hypocrisy. out of one side of your mouth, whinging about people who don't approve of how the discourse here is carried out. out of the other side, making it clear that you don't approve of how the discourse is carried out. you fell on your own sword. your own argument committed suicide. do you not see this? do i need to paint a fucking bullseye on it?


    "not very nice, cat."


    wow. that was out of line. maybe i did go too far with that one.


By Cat on Monday, June 11, 2001 - 01:02 am:

    The first part of your post claims you have the right to be inconsistent. The second part of your post calls me inconsistent.

    My argument may have committed suicide, but looks like it took yours with it in a death roll.


By dave. on Monday, June 11, 2001 - 01:19 am:

    trippy, huh?


By Cat on Monday, June 11, 2001 - 01:36 am:

    You're more fucked than me, and that's final. And you smell funny too.


By agatha on Monday, June 11, 2001 - 02:39 am:

    you're both fucked.

    apology grudgingly accepted, although i didn't even remember writing what you're talking about until you brought it up. i didn't feel the need to name names, because i'm not about calling people out on shit. even if i had wanted to single people out, there would be too many people to list and i would be on there, as well. i do think it's important to remember that this is an open forum where people can say whatever the fuck they want. which was my point all that time ago. and dave, well he smells especially funny after he mows the lawn.

    anyhow.



By semillama on Monday, June 11, 2001 - 09:41 am:

    <smite>Pointless back-and-forth </smite>


By dave. on Monday, June 11, 2001 - 10:27 am:

    she started it.


By semillama on Monday, June 11, 2001 - 11:24 am:

    <smite>


By patrick on Monday, June 11, 2001 - 11:26 am:

    i have to admit to not knowing what either of you nitwits have been talking about from the beginning.

    you both stopped making any damn sense many clicks ago.


    does money make people republican?





By Trace on Monday, June 11, 2001 - 11:29 am:

    No, I am republican with no money


By agatha on Monday, June 11, 2001 - 12:34 pm:

    you're no republican, trace, you just act like one on tv.


By agatha on Monday, June 11, 2001 - 12:35 pm:

    and yes, in my experience, money does make people republican.


By Trace on Monday, June 11, 2001 - 12:43 pm:

    ?


By semillama on Monday, June 11, 2001 - 01:35 pm:

    May DEVO have mercy on your souls.


By Cat on Monday, June 11, 2001 - 04:46 pm:

    Oh goodness, I'm NOT that kind of republican. No, no, no. Though I did date one once and he was amazing in bed. I meant republican as in pro a republic versus a monarchy.

    And Dave's a big girl.


By Trace on Monday, June 11, 2001 - 04:48 pm:

    whta the hell is DEVO????


By semillama on Monday, June 11, 2001 - 05:08 pm:

    Were you raised by beavers in a dam, or what?! First you miss the Johnny Cash reference, now you don't know who DEVO is?


By Trace on Monday, June 11, 2001 - 05:10 pm:

    Uh, yes I guess so....
    Well, are you going to clue me in?


By Cat on Monday, June 11, 2001 - 05:11 pm:

    "Beavers in a dam" - too funny.


By patrick on Monday, June 11, 2001 - 05:18 pm:

    Crack that whip! (doo doo doo doo doo deedo deedo deedo deedo)

    Break you mothers back!

    Whip it GOOD!!



    please tell me you've heard that song.

    thats Devo.


By Trace on Monday, June 11, 2001 - 05:21 pm:

    I got it now.
    My mind was not on obscure bands from the 80's


By Cat on Monday, June 11, 2001 - 05:23 pm:

    Would it have killed you to torment Trace a bit? Huh? Could you not have told him that DEVO was some kind of very sophisticated drink enjoyed by real republicans or anything to make him run around telling people how much he like Devo? You're just wasting your lives here.


By Dougie on Monday, June 11, 2001 - 05:25 pm:

    Cat, will you marry me?


By Dougie on Monday, June 11, 2001 - 05:36 pm:

    I mean, you don't have to respond right away. Take some time, think about it. Of course, you'd have to move to New York. And make me laugh all the time. And put up with my many nasty habits, but otherwise, I think we'd get along famously.


By J on Monday, June 11, 2001 - 05:36 pm:

    I smell funny whe I lay down on the lawn fertilizer.


By Cat on Monday, June 11, 2001 - 05:41 pm:

    Ah Dougie, you should know better than to taunt a woman over 30 with such false promises. Bitch.


By Dougie on Monday, June 11, 2001 - 06:36 pm:

    Think of it as more of a "Darling, maybe if in another place, another time, another world" kind of thing (spoken in a James Mason voice), but certainly not a taunt.

    Note to J: stop laying down on the lawn fertilizer.


By cyst on Monday, June 11, 2001 - 07:04 pm:

    the people I know who have gotten money have gone libertarian.

    should I start letting you know when I come to portland, pez, so we can meet somewhere for a vegetarian meal? I was there for memorial day weekend, and I was there yesterday. I love portland.


By pez on Tuesday, June 12, 2001 - 03:40 am:

    portland goooooood.

    heh.

    i'm home again. i missed sylvie and my bed. and despite everything that's happened to me, i still love my family.

    i am moving out. that's for sure. i can leave behind the piano, half the closet full of clothes. the leather jacket will be sold simply because i don't wear it. it smells of death and it's heavy besides.

    i'm no longer compatable with my parents beliefs on a daily basis. they're no longer compatable with mine.

    we must learn to search for beauty in places other than which society has taught us.

    this is about life, and freedom of expression. freedom to read and write. freedoms we don't exercise nearly as much as we should.

    it's no longer about the bunnies. they died long ago.

    the focus has moved to a broader topic now. to vibrance.

    there's so much i want to do. i study and plan so much of the time. i used my lunch break to examine flatware and blenders.

    so many people are leaving home. the first time, the last time. it's just time to go. closure.

    not to be a lemming, it sparks my interest and rekindles the light in my eyes. freedom.

    what's that? freedom of mentality? freedom of expression? freedom of religion? the bill of rights?

    where do i go from here? follow the well trodden path? blaze a new one?

    there's so much to do, so much to experience. my feet feel lighter. my heart feels lighter. where next?

    an open mind is completely different from an open heart.

    but now, the books. i should attempt at least some finals, even if i missed piano.

    note: i may not be the strongest person alive, but i'm learning. i try (not always succeed) to keep my snide remarks to myself, and i would appriciate it if others did the same. this is a discussion board, not preschool.


By Trace on Tuesday, June 12, 2001 - 08:35 am:

    Oh, that's why I couldn't find the milk cart


By Czarina on Tuesday, June 12, 2001 - 11:30 am:

    Thats because you stole my milk money,Trace.And I told the teacher,so she hid the milk cart from you.


By Trace on Tuesday, June 12, 2001 - 11:47 am:

    aww dammit!


By patrick on Tuesday, June 12, 2001 - 12:03 pm:

    you shouldn't keep your snide remarks to yourself.

    please by all means get nasty.


By Czarina on Tuesday, June 12, 2001 - 12:25 pm:

    well okay,if you insist.





    Fuck you,you ass.


By cyst on Tuesday, June 12, 2001 - 12:47 pm:

    wednesday morning at five o'clock as the day begins...

    you'll get along much better with your parents after you move out. but be sure to send me that zine you promised me.


By Nate on Tuesday, June 12, 2001 - 01:07 pm:

    i've noticed a lot of victims are democrats.

    fuckos.


By Cat on Tuesday, June 12, 2001 - 04:11 pm:

    I think I'm going to be very unappreciated. Woe is me.

    Is that your Tonka toy or are you just stuffing Play Doh down your pants?


By Nate on Tuesday, June 12, 2001 - 05:45 pm:

    i just went up this thread and read what happened.

    boy howdy!

    quickly! someone tell me if i can be both the village idiot AND the town drunk?


By Cat on Tuesday, June 12, 2001 - 05:54 pm:

    I've been in training for the village idiot position for some time. I left my resume further up this thread.


By Nate on Tuesday, June 12, 2001 - 06:03 pm:

    pfft. that's nothing.

    your credentials just don't impress me.


By Czarina on Tuesday, June 12, 2001 - 09:16 pm:

    Nate,I'll send you the obligatory dunce cap.


By pez on Tuesday, June 12, 2001 - 09:17 pm:

    watevah.

    blah blah blah blah downtown blah blah blah drove blah blah blah blah audubon blah blah binos blah blah blah blah blah blah brandy blah blah fathers' day gift blah blah blah blah blah.

    blah blah phil blah blah blah blah blah blah 2nd street record store blah blah blah blah blah tattoo blah blah blah studying blah blah blah blah.

    there. entertaining enough? for a full song and dance, please send a check or money order to:

    lauren m. pez/swear
    666 se rd to hell
    nowheresville, or 99999
    u.s.kkka.


By pez on Tuesday, June 12, 2001 - 09:18 pm:

    *giggle*


By Nate on Tuesday, June 12, 2001 - 10:50 pm:

    tattoo? dish pez.


By pez on Tuesday, June 12, 2001 - 11:49 pm:

    there was a guy at the record store with a great pisces tattoo on his arm. it was big and beautiful, with two fish, one teal and one purple. dark blue background.

    i might go back just so i can see this tattoo again.


By dave. on Tuesday, June 12, 2001 - 11:54 pm:

    yuck. tattoos are so blasé. any numbnut with enough cash can have a cool tattoo.


By Nate on Wednesday, June 13, 2001 - 12:54 am:

    shut up, dave. maybe pez wants a tattoo.


By dave. on Wednesday, June 13, 2001 - 01:02 am:

    don't tell me to shut up.


By Daniel ssss on Wednesday, June 13, 2001 - 01:09 am:

    Pez, send me a copy too. Just got a good chapbook from friend in NYC, and I need more midnight reading.


By Nate on Wednesday, June 13, 2001 - 01:15 am:

    bring it on, dave. you onery fuck. trying to shake that mr. nice guy image or something? is it your time of the month?


By Cat on Wednesday, June 13, 2001 - 01:17 am:

    Don't you go bringing Dave's womb into it, you sexist paternalistic piggy poo bummy with a facist cherry on top.


By Nate on Wednesday, June 13, 2001 - 01:21 am:

    goddamnit cat. just because the bleeders go illogical for part of the lunaria doesn't mean that for a man to point it out is sexist.

    jesus christ, y'all have breasts and twats, too.


By wisper on Wednesday, June 13, 2001 - 01:51 am:

    BLEEDERS!!!! LOL!!!!


By semillama on Wednesday, June 13, 2001 - 09:22 am:

    heehee hee hee hee.


By agatha on Wednesday, June 13, 2001 - 10:47 am:

    that's not very nice, dave, nate, and cat.


By Nate on Wednesday, June 13, 2001 - 11:37 am:

    do you want to be pulled into this agatha?


By patrick on Wednesday, June 13, 2001 - 11:47 am:

    get her.


    i for one, would like to learn more about dave's womb.


By agatha on Wednesday, June 13, 2001 - 11:51 am:

    womb shmomb.

    dave's womb is so huge...


By Nate on Wednesday, June 13, 2001 - 12:08 pm:

    that's no womb. that's a space station.


By patrick on Wednesday, June 13, 2001 - 12:14 pm:


By semillama on Wednesday, June 13, 2001 - 02:18 pm:

    You crackhead.


By Cat on Wednesday, June 13, 2001 - 04:16 pm:

    I would really appreciate it if everyone would not call each other nasty derogatory names. This is a bulletin board, not a men's prison where they need to satisfy their lust by engaging in unnatural acts like fucking bowls of mashed potato.


By Nate on Wednesday, June 13, 2001 - 04:26 pm:

    who made you god?

    this is hardly a bulletin board. this is strangle.


By Cat on Wednesday, June 13, 2001 - 05:05 pm:

    Shut up, asswipe.

    I am the goddess of buttsex and shoes.




By Nate on Wednesday, June 13, 2001 - 05:17 pm:

    there is no goddess of buttsex.


By Cat on Wednesday, June 13, 2001 - 05:25 pm:

    Ah ye of little faith. A plague on you and your buttocks.


By J on Wednesday, June 13, 2001 - 05:32 pm:

    I have faith in a mustard seed,I believe,spare my cakes.


By patrick on Wednesday, June 13, 2001 - 06:20 pm:

    you don't REALLY like buttsex cat...who are you kidding.


By Cat on Wednesday, June 13, 2001 - 06:38 pm:

    I just told you that so you'd stop your relentless pounding. Inconsiderate Shitface. Do you think I have an endless supply of Vaseline?


By pez on Wednesday, June 13, 2001 - 06:44 pm:

    cute tattoos are nice.

    not that i have one....yet. ;)

    i'm thinking of hitchiking around the country...withOUT parental permission, of course.

    i had a nightmare last night. i woke up in the middle of the night, and looked in the mirror and thought my hair was BLOND. i started freaking out. "my hair, my hair....."

    i'm dying it again today. balinese amethyst.


By patrick on Wednesday, June 13, 2001 - 06:51 pm:

    You assuem too much cat. And you need to watch your potty mouth...you smelly girl.


    Pez....PLEASE don't hitchhike around the country, that would be a pretty dumb idea as neat and beat as it sounds. Read Kerouac instead. And if scuzzie men bother you....just wait till you're on the open road, by yourself.


By patrick on Wednesday, June 13, 2001 - 06:51 pm:

    assume


By pez on Wednesday, June 13, 2001 - 06:54 pm:

    "the open road". that's sort of funny, since i picked it up earlier today.

    i'm not going to go by myself. that'd be stupid.


By Nate on Wednesday, June 13, 2001 - 07:11 pm:

    steal a car instead.


By dave. on Wednesday, June 13, 2001 - 07:44 pm:

    a cop car.


By drppee on Wednesday, June 13, 2001 - 07:53 pm:

    fuckin'-a right, a cop car. and if you ever plan to motor west: travel my way, take the highway that's the best. get your kicks on route 66. it winds from chicago to L.A., more than 2000 miles all the way. get your kicks on route 66. now you go through saint louis, and joplin, missouri, and oklahoma city looks mighty pretty, you'll see...amarillo...gallup, new mexico...flagstaff, arizona, don't forget winona, kingman, barstow, san bernadino....

    won't you get hip to this timely tip when you make that california trip? get your kicks on Route 66.




By pez on Wednesday, June 13, 2001 - 08:21 pm:

    i'd have to head south first--i'm only about 100 miles from the pacific as it is.

    i haven't given it a lot of thought yet. i just need to do a lot of living before i'll be ready to "settle down and be responsible".

    i'll go steal a cop car and get the other cops to chase me around a shopping mall a la "blues brothers".


By semillama on Thursday, June 14, 2001 - 10:15 am:

    Why not hop trains?

    Of course Cat can be the goddess of buttsex - haven't you seen the film "Anal Lesbians" Nate?


By Nate on Thursday, June 14, 2001 - 11:10 am:

    cat absolutely is not the goddess of buttsex. end of discussion. the olsen twins have a better chance of being goddesses of buttsex.

    but there is no goddess of buttsex. there is a god of buttsex.

    and of course i've seen 'anal lesbians'. who do you think i am?


By Spunkrat on Thursday, June 14, 2001 - 11:19 am:

    what is it with the obsession as of late on the olsen twins and sex? i have heard that on the radio a lot lately "only three more years till they are legal!!!"

    My daughter still watches thier older stuff, before they hit twelve, so it really wigs me out to hear that


By Nate on Thursday, June 14, 2001 - 11:45 am:

    uhm. i was just trying to come up with a completely unlikely example for buttsex goddesshood, to relate how ludicrus i see cat's claims to be the goddess of buttsex to be.

    in no way was i thinking about the olsen twins having buttsex.

    thank you.


By Spunkrat on Thursday, June 14, 2001 - 11:55 am:

    What reason do women have for buttsex? i understand it with men, because, well, that's the hole, but women have 2 perfectly good other holes????


By patrick on Thursday, June 14, 2001 - 12:10 pm:

    jesus christ spunky.

    *sigh*

    FYI there are nerve endings in das ass for women. moreover...the barrier between das ass and das vagina is thin...so the the sensation can carry over. if a woman is really into her man....in love...fucking her armpit can be pleasureable to her. 50/50 mental/physical boy.


By Spunkrat on Thursday, June 14, 2001 - 12:16 pm:

    i see.
    I just think it would hurt like hell, is all, but that's me....


By patrick on Thursday, June 14, 2001 - 12:37 pm:

    we yeah...seeing as how you dont love me...if i were to ram it up your bum hell yeah it would hurt.

    its takes finesse and patience and lube.


By Nate on Thursday, June 14, 2001 - 01:06 pm:

    have you been successful, pdogg?


By patrick on Thursday, June 14, 2001 - 01:15 pm:

    giving or receiving?


By Nate on Thursday, June 14, 2001 - 01:25 pm:

    well... what have you commented on being unsuccessful with in recent times?


By patrick on Thursday, June 14, 2001 - 01:54 pm:

    i have been unsuccesful but not due to the lack of any of the things i mention above.


By Spunkrat on Thursday, June 14, 2001 - 02:02 pm:

    VIAGRA


By Nate on Thursday, June 14, 2001 - 02:09 pm:

    or maybe it's just his massive cock, spunkrat.


By Spunkrat on Thursday, June 14, 2001 - 02:21 pm:

    or maybe not


By patrick on Thursday, June 14, 2001 - 02:23 pm:

    it doesnt fit spunky.




    fuck why did i go there.


By Spider on Thursday, June 14, 2001 - 02:31 pm:

    Run! Get out while you still can!


By Spunkrat on Thursday, June 14, 2001 - 02:31 pm:

    damn that must suck. my wife and I did not for 4 months because it hurt her too much. she finally when to the doctor.


By patrick on Thursday, June 14, 2001 - 02:35 pm:

    you didnt have ass sex for 4 months? aint that a bitch.

    im sort of joggina along and looking back spider.


By Spunkrat on Thursday, June 14, 2001 - 02:37 pm:

    fuck it


By Spunkrat on Thursday, June 14, 2001 - 02:38 pm:

    NOT ASS SEX....


By patrick on Thursday, June 14, 2001 - 02:55 pm:

    well thats what we were talking about spunky. follow the posts. ass sex ass sex.


By Spunkrat on Thursday, June 14, 2001 - 02:57 pm:

    so, and difference between as sex for your and vaginal sex for me is?
    BESIDES THE OBVIOUS


By Nate on Thursday, June 14, 2001 - 03:20 pm:

    i don't think patrick has problems with vaginal sex.

    his pecker is bigger than yours, too.


By Spider on Thursday, June 14, 2001 - 03:27 pm:

    The difference is 4 degrees.


By patrick on Thursday, June 14, 2001 - 03:30 pm:

    *running*


By Spunkrat on Thursday, June 14, 2001 - 03:30 pm:

    How would you know that Nate?
    Spider, thanks I figured that one out


By Nate on Thursday, June 14, 2001 - 03:42 pm:

    4 degrees in temperature, according to maynard?

    or are you talking about the delta in rectal/vaginal approach angles, spider?


By patrick on Thursday, June 14, 2001 - 03:46 pm:

    spunk....a while back my wife and i got paid to do some nude/sexy modeling for a San Fran photographer. There were a handful of pics up on a website for sometime. They are not up now. Most who have been here a while seen them.

    Needless to say there, were a few JimJog shots.


By Spunkrat on Thursday, June 14, 2001 - 03:58 pm:

    i think i heard about that....

    so you and your have have ass sex?


By Nate on Thursday, June 14, 2001 - 04:00 pm:

    you sound flustered, spunky.


By Spider on Thursday, June 14, 2001 - 04:04 pm:

    I meant the maynard explanation.

    I listened to that song on my way to work this morning. It's bloody good. I love how it starts cheerful and ends scary.


By J on Thursday, June 14, 2001 - 04:06 pm:

    Maybe frustrated,4 months and all,actually a man getting ass sex would enjoy it more than a woman because men have that prostrate gland.


By patrick on Thursday, June 14, 2001 - 04:18 pm:

    god dammit spunky...how many different ways do i have to spell it out.

    i can't have ass sex with my wife. it doesnt work due aforementioned and repeated reasons!!!


By Spunkrat on Thursday, June 14, 2001 - 04:33 pm:

    I am so confused


By Nate on Thursday, June 14, 2001 - 04:57 pm:

    ok spunky...

    the ass tends to stay closed up tight. this keeps the shit in. in order to coax a cock into an asshole, a certain amount of relaxation must take place. the bigger the cock, the more relaxation.

    in some cases, given huge cocks and tight asses, this process proves impossible.

    at least, difficult.

    pdogg here is cursed with a huge cock.

    or maybe blessed, depending on how you look at it.

    personally, i've wished mine was smaller at times. and i think pdoggs is bigger than mine.

    jesus christ, this is a lame thing to talk about.

    just give it a shot, spunky. roll the wife over, spit on your cock, and see if you can get it in. you'll understand.

    try to be gentle, though.


By Spunkrat on Thursday, June 14, 2001 - 05:02 pm:

    i got that much, thanks. And I do know what ass sex is. wife got wild hair once, we started to, then she freaked out and we never did again.
    I did not realize patrick was married.


By Nate on Thursday, June 14, 2001 - 05:13 pm:

    it's probably better that you don't. i imagine it's illegal in your state anyway.


By J on Thursday, June 14, 2001 - 05:13 pm:

    Spunky,pay attention,you will be quizzed later.


By patrick on Thursday, June 14, 2001 - 05:44 pm:

    jesus fucking christ im blushing.

    thanks nate for taking the initive on fielding that.


By patrick on Thursday, June 14, 2001 - 05:46 pm:

    and yes nate its a mixed blessing.


By Cat on Thursday, June 14, 2001 - 05:53 pm:

    Fuck big cocks. (hehe)

    Give me 6 inches any day. Actually today would be a good day. And tomorrow is fine too.




By patrick on Thursday, June 14, 2001 - 06:02 pm:

    6" huh?


By Nate on Thursday, June 14, 2001 - 06:42 pm:

    see?

    cursed.


By Dougie on Thursday, June 14, 2001 - 07:11 pm:

    I'm not a huge fan. It's usually too much of a pain in the ass (pun intended) with all the preparations (not H -- pun intended too) etc.


By Nate on Thursday, June 14, 2001 - 07:37 pm:

    what preparations? spitting on your cock?


By Spunky on Thursday, June 14, 2001 - 07:40 pm:

    8"


By Nate on Thursday, June 14, 2001 - 07:45 pm:

    27"


By Spider on Thursday, June 14, 2001 - 07:46 pm:

    40"


By Spunky on Thursday, June 14, 2001 - 07:46 pm:

    your never gonna get any


By Dougie on Thursday, June 14, 2001 - 07:50 pm:

    .0093052"

    Preparations like talking her into it, getting the lube, trying to fit something into somewhere it wasn't meant to go. Spit don't cut it -- it gets too dry.


By Spunky on Thursday, June 14, 2001 - 07:53 pm:

    spider,
    are we talking chest size???


By Dougie on Thursday, June 14, 2001 - 07:58 pm:

    Hey Spunky, I like it. Keep it up. You could also surprise us once in a whgile with variations like "Da Spunk Man", "Spunkster", "Spunky Brewster", "Spunky Monkey", "Spunkface", etc. But Spunky works for me as a workaday name.


By Nate on Thursday, June 14, 2001 - 08:11 pm:

    i think spider was refering to the length of her cock.

    i was refering to the diameter of mine.



By Cat on Thursday, June 14, 2001 - 08:22 pm:

    Actually Spider was referring to the diameter of the steel poles required to support her cock.


By Nate on Thursday, June 14, 2001 - 08:32 pm:

    that makes more sense.


By agatha on Thursday, June 14, 2001 - 10:11 pm:

    BUTT SEX HURTS. I HATE IT.


By Nate on Friday, June 15, 2001 - 01:29 am:

    tightass.


By cyst on Friday, June 15, 2001 - 01:40 am:

    I'm a little drunk. I am home alone. I have been packing up my stuff.

    I've given up on going through it all. I'm just throwing it in boxes now.

    I sort of feel like this is the last night of this part of my life. tomorrow my friends are going to help me move my things upstairs, and sunday my boyfriend is going to move in with me. I've never lived with someone that way. maybe it will be for the rest of my life.

    so here I am, a single girl for perhaps the last time. I guess if I have nothing better to do than to log on and tell you guys about it, then it's just as well.


By agatha on Friday, June 15, 2001 - 03:56 am:

    yeah, nate, that's why it hurts. duh.

    cyst, welcome to the next phase of your life. we should call it "phase 1,000,000,000,000," for convenience's sake. i'm glad you're moving in with the rock star. he sounds like a keeper.


By Spider on Friday, June 15, 2001 - 08:27 am:

    Yes, chest size. My cock is 20" long.

    Good luck, Cyst.


By semillama on Friday, June 15, 2001 - 09:31 am:

    Hey, I have a 40" chest too!

    Rock star? I missed something, I think or I was just retarded that day.


By Spunky on Friday, June 15, 2001 - 09:55 am:

    That could make for an interesting evening, spider


By patrick on Friday, June 15, 2001 - 11:39 am:

    hey dougie....a gram of blow and two bottles of wine will do the job quicker than lube, talking or anything else you mentioned.


    you know....just so you know.







By Dougie on Friday, June 15, 2001 - 12:33 pm:

    Thanks, Patrick. I'll keep that in mind next time I want to go in through the back door.


By cyst on Friday, June 15, 2001 - 12:42 pm:

    he's not a rock star. he is in a band. but I didn't know that when I met him, so it doesn't count.


By semillama on Friday, June 15, 2001 - 12:53 pm:

    Ok. I didn't miss anything then. Thelast thing I want is for my rading comprehension to slip.


By Boredspunk on Friday, June 15, 2001 - 02:02 pm:

    man is it slow here today


By pez on Friday, June 15, 2001 - 02:09 pm:

    like molasses.


By Dougie on Friday, June 15, 2001 - 02:12 pm:

    Yep, it's a lazy, dog-danglin' afternoon.


By Spider on Friday, June 15, 2001 - 02:15 pm:

    Go to that neat AI link that was posted earlier.

    Do a google search on "Jeanine Salla" -- you find some interesting sites that will entertain you for quite a while.


    Patrick, I listened to your 7" last night.


By patrick on Friday, June 15, 2001 - 02:18 pm:

    and.....?




    i would love your thoughts. i know its pretty immature, but HEY we were all 19 and filled with inspiration and ideals. like pez.

    we thought we were ahead of our time.


    yeah....im the only one in my department. its fucking vacant back here.


By Spider on Friday, June 15, 2001 - 02:24 pm:

    I liked it! It was smoother and mellower than I expected, and I was pleasantly surprised. I liked the electronic noodlings in the background of "modern times" -- which instrument created those noises?

    It sounded good -- I wouldn't have known you were all 19 if you didn't tell me.


    My bosses and others are gone to San Francisco. I'll be on my own till Wednesday. The scary thing is that this is our busiest time of year, and I really shouldn't be wasting the time here. But I procrastinated all throughout school...I can't change now.


By Nate on Friday, June 15, 2001 - 02:26 pm:

    "Do a google search on "Jeanine Salla" -- you find some interesting sites that will entertain you for quite a while."

    that's not joe's daughter, is it?


By patrick on Friday, June 15, 2001 - 02:28 pm:

    its a moog. a couple of them actually. im glad you liked it.

    i wish i could share all the nutty stuff i've done since. meaning i wish i had a tape to tape recorder. ive got all the radio sessions and mini disc recordings and various other dats ive done in the 7 years since that 7" was made.
    relatively speaking...ive done so much more neato stuff.


By pez on Friday, June 15, 2001 - 02:33 pm:

    my sister is running around singing "you have six minutes left" and asking if i want pancakes or biscuits.

    she's been home ten minutes from her last day of school.


By Spider on Friday, June 15, 2001 - 02:43 pm:

    If Jeanine Salla is Joe's daughter, then Joe does not exist.

    Patrick, can't you rig something together? I want to hear more neato stuff.


By patrick on Friday, June 15, 2001 - 02:47 pm:

    i'll see
    i dont have any tape decks. but ill figure somethign out.


By Spider on Friday, June 15, 2001 - 02:55 pm:

    Dontcha got any friends with tape decks? Are they that outdated?


By patrick on Friday, June 15, 2001 - 03:01 pm:

    mmmmmm yes i will look into that.


By Spider on Friday, June 15, 2001 - 03:13 pm:

    We have to talk more! I'm bored. Write big long posts, okay?


    Let me tell you about the mess I'm in.

    Database is dysfunctional. No work can be done until it is fixed. Boss in name only is gone until Wednesday. Boss in everything but name is gone until Wednesday. Database creator is not in his office, for some damned reason, and hasn't been since noon. My client contact is out until Monday. No work can be done. There is nothing I can do to fix things. NO WORK CAN BE DONE. AAARRRGH!!!


By Spunky on Friday, June 15, 2001 - 03:16 pm:

    Spider,
    I would take your advice from yesterday and run like hell


By Dougie on Friday, June 15, 2001 - 03:18 pm:

    This is cute:


    A little rabbit is happily running through the forest when he stumbles upon
    a giraffe rolling a joint. The rabbit looks at her and says, "Giraffe my friend, why do you do this? Come with me running through the forest,
    you'll see, you'll feel so much better!" The giraffe looks at him, looks at the joint, tosses it and goes off running with the rabbit.

    Then they come across an elephant doing coke, so the rabbit again says, "Elephant my friend, why do you do this? Think about your health. Come running with us through the pretty forest, you'll see, you'll feel so good!" The elephant
    looks at them, looks at his razor, mirror and all, then tosses them and starts running with the rabbit and giraffe.

    The three animals then come across a lion about to shoot up... "Lion my friend, why do you do this? Think about your health! Come running with us through the sunny forest, you will feel so good!" The lion looks at him, puts down his needle, and starts to beat the shit out of the little rabbit. As the giraffe and elephant
    watch in horror, they look at him and ask, "Lion, why did you do this? He was merely trying to help us all!" The lion answers, "That little fucker
    makes me run around the forest like an idiot for hours every time he's on ecstasy!"


By Nate on Friday, June 15, 2001 - 04:09 pm:

    great story, dougie. i love long necks.

    i just answered the phone. this guy sounds totally baked, reading from his script. pronounces my last name correctly, so i keep talking.

    he wants to give me some discover card platnum or something. i say "oo, sounds shiny" he says "yes, yes it is."

    my street number is 14365. he wants to verify it, so he says "one hundred forty three and sixty five?"

    uh huh.

    i ask him what the apr is. he tells me 1.9% until december 2000. eh? 2001. oh, ok. after that? Uhmmmmmmmmmmmm. uhmmmmmm. 14.9%. oh, ok. credit limit? answers from the script. blah blah blah.

    "i'm really not interested at all, man"
    "oh, right on. that's cool. take care dude"
    "right on brother. call on."


    pretty dull, really.


By Spider on Friday, June 15, 2001 - 04:12 pm:

    This is insulting:

    -------------------------------------

    June 15, 2001

    TO: DXXXX, Rhiannon - Participant

    CC: MXXXXXXX, AXXXXXXX - Manager

    FROM: Bob SXXXXXXXXXXX, Sr. Director
    Corporate Training & Development

    SUBJECT: INCREASING TEAM EFFECTIVENESS USING MBTI

    Thank you for participating in the Increasing Team Effectiveness Using Mbti which was held on Tuesday, May 15, 2001. I sincerely hope you had a "WOW!" experience. I greatly value any comments or suggestions that you have regarding your experience with this program.

    Training represents a significant investment of resources for LXXXX-NXXXX. Please review the transfer of learning matrix (website link below) with your manager to insure you maximize the return on this training investment.

    http://lnxhome/training/CT&D/General%20Info/transferchecklist.htm

    Corporate Training & Development looks forward to serving you in the future. Please visit our website for additional skill development opportunities.

    Regards.

    Bob

    CTD/C2/follone.doc

    --------------------------------------------

    Does the link work for you? They must think we're retarded.


By semillama on Friday, June 15, 2001 - 05:07 pm:

    Bob SXXXXXXXXXXX must be destroyed. Along with his entire section of the gene pool.

    Solely for the use of "'WOW!' Experience."

    Link works not. They are the retards.
    "Retards" has become one of my favorite words lately. Does that make me insensitive and callous?


By cyst on Friday, June 15, 2001 - 05:31 pm:

    my boyfriend, a college student, told me that recently two of his classmates (different classes, same day) complained to their TAs that certain grading policies were "mentally retarded."

    that phrasing was popular when I was in grade school, but I hadn't heard it -- at least not with the "mentally" part -- in years.


By patrick on Friday, June 15, 2001 - 05:56 pm:

    is there another way you can be retarded? i suppose physically retarded. But it just doesn't seem right. I mean droop is in a wheel chair but i don't think i would ever refer to him as physically retarded. Its just doesnt.

    in the meantime. i just bought a shit load of film...and since im where spider was 2 hours ago i'll list them for you and field any questions thereafter.

    - 20 pack of Polapan Pro type 664
    ISO 100/21(degree symbol)
    this is bascially 100 speed polaroid B&W film. great stuff and it was 30% off becasue the expiration date is July!!!!

    -20 pack of Polacolor Tungsten ISO 64/19(degrees)
    also great stuff...when shot in daylight it casts a blue tint...very fun.

    -2rolls of AGFA pan ISO 100/21(degrees) 135 format (35mm)
    this also damn good film. the blacks are excellent and contrast is medium-sharp.

    -2 Rolls of Illford HP5 Plus ISO 400/27(degrees)135 format (35mm)
    this is a great medium contrast medium speed film. The range is very versatile.

    -2 Rolls of Kodak TMAX ISO 400/27(degrees)120 format (medium) film. Again, a great all purpose medium format medium speed film.

    and finally a 25 pack of 36/sleeve 35mm negative sleeves. I needed these bad as I have film to process and nothing to put them in.









By cyst on Friday, June 15, 2001 - 06:09 pm:

    I could be retarded in getting home any night there's a mariners game.


By patrick on Friday, June 15, 2001 - 06:17 pm:

    i meant to say up there...
    "it just doesn't fit" but i think i fell asleep.


By pez on Friday, June 15, 2001 - 07:28 pm:

    "retard" is french for slow.

    i guess that makes sense.


By cyst on Friday, June 15, 2001 - 07:50 pm:

    "mellifluous" shares a latin root with "miel," the french word for honey. I learned that yesterday.


By agatha on Saturday, June 16, 2001 - 03:18 pm:

    cyst, steve fisk tonight in oly!

    rock star is my generic term for anyone in a band. i'm dramatic like that.


By Nate on Saturday, June 16, 2001 - 04:38 pm:

    retard is english for slow, too.

    not hitting puberty until age 32 would be physically retarded. assfuckers.

    tampon is french for eraser.

    i was a lonely teenage broncin' buck with a pink carnation and a pickup truck but i knew i was out of luck the day the music died.

    i am the unholy.

    eight miles high and falling fast.


By Antigone on Saturday, June 16, 2001 - 05:32 pm:

    tampon is swahili for "dead rat"


By dave. on Saturday, June 16, 2001 - 07:04 pm:

    3 feet high and rising.


By droopy on Saturday, June 16, 2001 - 07:13 pm:

    nates - (plural noun) buttocks, rump.[< L: the rump, buttocks, pl. of natis.]

    nates are asses.


By Nates on Sunday, June 17, 2001 - 01:07 pm:

    ringalingaling!


By pez on Sunday, June 17, 2001 - 04:27 pm:

    we have a winner!

    vanna, tell droopy what he's ewon!


By Vanna white on Sunday, June 17, 2001 - 04:28 pm:

    well, we have a great big "fuck you, you ass" courtesy of the members of sorabji.com.

    *smiles so her face matches her dress: sparkly*


By droopy on Monday, June 18, 2001 - 12:48 am:

    apparently i'm not good enough to get a "fyya" from the man himself.

    what's a guy gotta do to get some disrespect around here?


By dave. on Monday, June 18, 2001 - 01:19 am:

    call dani a dumbass.


By Catoopy on Monday, June 18, 2001 - 03:35 am:

    oo) What you want
    (oo) Baby, I got
    (oo) What you need
    (oo) Do you know I got it?
    (oo) All I'm askin'
    (oo) Is for a little disrespect when you come home (just a little bit)
    Hey baby (just a little bit) when you get home
    (just a little bit) mister (just a little bit)

    I'm about to give you all of my money
    And all I'm askin' in return, honey
    Is to give me my propers
    When you get home (just a, just a, just a, just a)
    Yeah baby (just a, just a, just a, just a)
    When you get home (just a little bit)
    Yeah (just a little bit)

    D-I-S-R-E-S-P-E-C-T
    Find out what it means to me
    D-I-S-R-E-S-P-E-C-T
    Take care, TCB

    Oh (sock it to me, sock it to me,
    sock it to me, sock it to me)
    A little disrespect (sock it to me, sock it to me,
    sock it to me, sock it to me)
    Whoa, babe (just a little bit)


By patrick on Monday, June 18, 2001 - 11:57 am:

    who is steve fisk?

    I have a friend from texas named steve sisk. not steve fisk.


By cyst on Monday, June 18, 2001 - 12:31 pm:

    steve fisk is a friend of mine who makes music and has produced records for a bunch of northwest bands. I especially love the work he did with screaming trees; dave likes his band pigeonhed.

    hey, agatha, I tried sending you e-mail but I'm not sure it worked. please write to me.


By patrick on Monday, June 18, 2001 - 12:39 pm:

    *naive bias*
    i think the northwest a weird cliq. It's a combination bad scene in Singles, determined music, be it political or intentionally non-political. they seem to like fuzz in their guitars in the the northwest. flannel is always out of style and worn by 60% of the populus.

    the northwest seems cliq-ish...and im sure you, agatha and dave have something to do with it.

    i should visit to correct this.


By pez on Monday, June 25, 2001 - 03:15 am:

    what about me? (of course i'm only in oregon)

    bleah.

    i need to find a way to drop phil gently. i like him, but not really in a boy-girl way. hate the feeling that i'm leading him on. i can't kiss him. i just can't see it. i find two of his friends to be a lot more alluring, one is a girl.

    i feel sort of bad about it. he's a nice guy, great sense of humor, but i'm not attracted to him, neither intellectually nor physically.

    not that he's dumb or anything, but it feels like two seperate worlds. he calls once a week and doesn't talk. it's as if i'm suddenly plunked on a stage and demanded to entertain. i can do it, but it's awfully uncomfortable. awkward.

    i feel like i owe him almost, for treating me so nicely and taking to a concert last night, but continuing to let him think that i'm his girlfriend will only make the situation worse.

    poor fella.


By Spider on Monday, June 25, 2001 - 07:56 am:

    "i feel like i owe him almost, for treating me so nicely and taking to a concert last night"

    NO NO NO. You owe him nothing. Don't ever think that way. I mean it.


By Nate on Monday, June 25, 2001 - 09:53 am:

    [post deleted]


By agatha on Monday, June 25, 2001 - 09:56 am:

    i think my sorabji mail broke. i haven't gotten any email there in over a month. i will email you, cyst.

    patrick, you are wrong. i like you anyhow, though.


By patrick on Monday, June 25, 2001 - 12:31 pm:

    oh, yeah, im pretty sure of it.


By Spunky on Monday, June 25, 2001 - 01:06 pm:

    I hesitate to say this, but they have a horrid saying out here in the midwest
    "flannel never goes out of style" *shudder*


By semillama on Monday, June 25, 2001 - 01:40 pm:

    Well, it doesn't.


By Spunky on Monday, June 25, 2001 - 01:56 pm:

    Well, it should.


By pez on Monday, June 25, 2001 - 02:04 pm:

    flannel is nice and warm. until it's so old it has holes.

    when my flannel shirt began falling apart, i used my mom's serger to transform it into a new gaRment, with slit sleeves. nobody'd seen anything like it before so it didn't go over too well.

    i wonder if it's been thrown out. 'twas a few years ago. probably would be in style now.


By heather on Monday, June 25, 2001 - 02:13 pm:

    they don't say that in my midwest


By Nate on Monday, June 25, 2001 - 02:47 pm:

    they say 'oh it's time for goat sex, donchaknow?'

    after seeing fargo, i have this impression that everyone between the west west and the east coast sounds like frances mcdermott.

    DO NOT DISPELL. IMPORTANT FOR SANITY.

    thank you.


By pez on Monday, June 25, 2001 - 02:52 pm:

    booka.


By semillama on Monday, June 25, 2001 - 04:15 pm:

    There are variations on the 'Fargo' accent.

    Otherwise, you're pretty much right for the areas outside the cities.


By Spunky on Monday, June 25, 2001 - 04:37 pm:

    Heather,
    Are you TRYING to pick a fight today?
    In Kansas City, which is in the midwest, yes they fucking do. They even have goddam t-shirts at truck stops that frickin say it


By heather on Monday, June 25, 2001 - 04:42 pm:

    FIGHT ME

    FIGHT
    ME!!!!!!!!


    haaaa.haha.

    my midwest is not like your midwest dear spunky


By Spunky on Monday, June 25, 2001 - 04:52 pm:

    I see. Maybe yours is not so damn back waters as mine. I hate it here.
    Fighting with females can be fun.
    I like the aggresive type,


By semillama on Monday, June 25, 2001 - 04:56 pm:

    Do you like it when you wash their feet?

    Do you like it when they crack your bones?

    Do you like it when you've been beat?

    Do they like to hear your moans and groans?



    I guess it's time for me to go home!


By Spunky on Monday, June 25, 2001 - 04:59 pm:

    getting excited, sem?
    And no, I am not into s&m.
    I should have clarified. I like to wrestle


By cyst on Monday, June 25, 2001 - 05:17 pm:

    in a bar in d.c. on my birthday this year I learned that frances mcdermott is from pittsburgh, pennsylvania.


By Dougie on Monday, June 25, 2001 - 05:18 pm:

    I never understood the term "midwest", being from Ohio, which is considered midwest, but definitely isn't "middle of the west". Sorry Trace, never heard that flannel expression either.


By pez on Monday, June 25, 2001 - 11:28 pm:

    it's the middle of the friggin' western hemisphere.
    .
    .
    .
    not that i care.

    soy cheese for breakfast, why thank you!


By patrick on Tuesday, June 26, 2001 - 12:02 pm:

    where are you living now? what happened?


By semillama on Tuesday, June 26, 2001 - 02:32 pm:

    It's called the midwest since at the time it was named, that was the west. The Northwest Territories once meant Ohio and Michigan.


By pez on Tuesday, June 26, 2001 - 05:34 pm:

    still at home. put up signs to barter work for homespace. my parents continue the illusion that i'm *not leaving*. hah.

    all the remaining zines are in the mail.
    .
    .
    .
    just got off the phone with phil. i'm not going out with him anymore.

    i feel like a broken typewriter.


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