The best reason to be cheerful at work: when they let you wear jeans! I'm telling you, nothing like the feel of denim as compared to pantyhose. Ahh, Heaven!

we don't have a dress code. what do you think about that? you can wear shorts and a t-shirt every day if you want to. what do you think about that? we get espresso, sodas, juice, snacks, too. what do you think about that? we get back massages and my admin does my nails for me. what do you think about that?

i think thats part of the reason, along with the internet that american worker productivity is at such a low.

it's not, though. read the business section. loser.

productivity SUCKS!!

here and and here CLEARLY heather.

Um, layoffs were big in 1Q.... Worker Morale took a big hit. Less hours were worked. Has nothing to do with luxuries reported by Nate and spiral

bingo, spunky. notice how productivity declines as patrick's reasons for low productivity are removed.

hmm i still think you dot-commies are slackers.

besides, how many of us get the luxuries you are afforded, patty????

such as?

pictures

what the fuck are you talking about? what about my pictures? they are a luxury?

Nevermind

Don't you take pictures for a living? I would rather take pictures of women then do what I do.

for a living? no. not yet. i work for a publisher, in an office...8 hours a day unrelated to my photography. i have gotten paid photo gigs here and there, but nothing substantial. I am not purusing a commerical photographer career but I will do odd jobs here and there.

Oh, beg your pardon, I thought your regular job was photography.

My job doesn't have a dress code. Well, it does, kind of--I have to wear an apron while I'm printing, and rubber gloves to clean off the press, but other than that no one cares. The boys across the street are masseurs. Maybe I need to work up some kind of deal. My work isn't nearly luxurious enough.

offer to whip up promotional flyers or window dressing for a back job.

I wouldn't let my admin near my nails. Is it just me or do you think this is weird...my assistant has changed to my hairdresser, buys the same makeup as I do, even has the same brand handbag etc etc. It was flattering at first, but now when my friends call, she spends ages and ages talking to them before they can get through to me and when I'm away, she often sits in my office. Actually now I've typed it all out, that is kind of creepy, isn't it? I've had her over to my house a few times and she's been hinting lately that she wants an invite, but maybe that's just encouraging her?

its good to have people work for you who want your job. but im thinking this may go slightly beyond that. Id get a new assistant before she kills you.

i carry a nail clipper in my purse so my nails don't get ripped off while working. i wear athletic shoes because they're comfy. my mom makes fun of me and i'm forced to say "mom. i have size 11 feet. i'm standing around for five hours at a whack. and my feet are flat. i'm not going to wear my sandals because they're against dress code and if you think i'm going to wear heels forgettaboutit!"

Cat: kill her. It's the only way out.

Sounds extremely creeps to me Cat. I guess I forgot to mention the down side to the whole jeans thing today: I got to destroy files and crawl around in a spider-infested basement. So, I guess for every good thing, we get a slight draw back.

Copy Cat. Heh. Funny.

ha.

Well, I thought it was funny. Seriously, Cat, immitation is supposed to be the highest form of a compilemt. But, it can go too far

highest form of flattery from scary unimaginative people is not all that flattering maybe start doing things like shave your head and forget to wear pants and see if she can follow that

That's the best bloody idea yet, Heather. I shall report back in. She called my mother "Mum" today, and not even I do that. I will HAVE to have a chat with her soon.

I concur with the others.Murdering her is your only logical choice. {I think I saw this on a "movie of the week"} She is indeed trying to take over your life.Perhaps she already has.Frankly,I've been somewhat suspicious of some of your posts lately. How can we be sure this is really you? Is it Cat,or is it meowerex?

copy cat. heh. funny

Hey, she has not posted since last night. Could it be? Could it be that the admin finally killed cat? Or did Cat kill the admin, and she is on the lamb? Or already in jail? COULD IT BE???

She's probably asleep now. You know...time zone differences...

Cat, have you seen "Single White Female"? Has your assistant?

Or "The Temp"

If anyone called my Mum "Mum" other than me, my wife and my siblings...i think id have to excuse them from my life.

What, still no Cat? Now I know she has been in here before this....

or "all about eve"? or "the anniversary party"?

damn and you say you arent flirting you salivating pup you. its roughly 6am on Thursday over there when you made that post. settledown

oh, bite me patty

Calm down Spunky, I would take a lot to kill. I am the cleverest person in the entire wide-ass universe. Yesterday, I was at the hospital with some time to spare, so I decided to go and have a freckle on my back checked at the skin cancer clinic. There was a bloke there who'd had a big chunk of mole cut out and the nurse was asking him if he had anyone at home to change the dressing. He said "no" so forlornly that I couldn't help myself and offered to do it. So we arranged he would come to my workplace and I would put a new bandage on for him. Then I started to think how perfect he would be for my assistant and how if she had a nice bloke in her life she might feel more confident and less inclined to be me. Soooo, (giggling at my cleverness) I told her this morning that he was coming in and that I would be busy and she would have to do it. And, handing over the gloves and bandage, I added that I thought he was a lovely bloke and I was kind of interested in him. I'm just trying to decide what I'll wear to their wedding.

Cat scratch fever WAH WAH WAH CAT SCRATCH FEVER WAH WAH WEH

You are such a genius. I perform the salute!

prup.

Putridly rancid ulcerous panties?

that's not what i was thinking, but it works. partly ringwashed undine posts.

I learned the definition of the word "undine" last week while reading edith wharton's "custom of the country," whose anti-heroine is named undine spragg (and will be played by uma thurman, of course, in the upcoming film).

undines are cool. my personal favorite, however, are the sylphs.

Main Entry: bag of waters Date: circa 1881 : the double-walled fluid-filled sac that encloses and protects the fetus in the womb and that breaks releasing its fluid during the birth process

philip roth renamed his ex-wife's fat daughter "sylphid" in "I married a communist." asshole! "should I seduce philip roth?" http://www.existentialangst.com/grey/archives/00000052.phtml

My lurve-matchin' went like a dream. He asked her out for lunch tomorrow to thank her for helping him. She's walking nice and straight and tall. Yay! (I hope that's a full flagpole salute, Sem)

Does this imply that YOU walk hunched over and crooked?

cat the hunchback. the hunchback of aussie fame. *giggle snort*

IT IS THE SALUTE. NO MORE NEEDS SAYING. Yowza!

I'm duly impressed Cat. Inspired, even. Perhaps you should consider going into the business of fixing weird problems. I'm sure there are enough wackos out there that you would never be out of the job. I find that every time I am faced with a wacko of some sort, I hide like a coward and hope it just goes *away.* Terribly weak of me, I know. But then, what would the world be without the few, the us, the ones that confuse everyone because they refuse to make a decision? Congrats on the solution. You should wear a white wedding gown *exactly* like hers to their wedding. And give them baby monitors as a gift. =)

Not bad, Cat. Not bad at all.

so no one else was grossed out about the changing some stranger's chunk out of the back ol' bandage?

i was. my first thought was "yuck".

Now you mention it, it IS incredibly revoltingly icky. But he sounded so forlorn and I got these Florence Nightingale flashes. It's very unlike me because I have a very low gross threshold and high hygiene barrier. Of course that's now, but back in my pre-bra days, I enjoyed a good scab-pick like the rest of the bike-riding neighbourhood thugs.

I would have to say,that I find this very odd behavior.But,perhaps things are different "Down under". Why doesn't melanoma man,have someone to tend to this bandage change?Why must he rely on the help of virtual strangers?Why would total strangers want to view his bobo? Yes,yes.I think this is a clever ploy,to get you off your guard.Next he'll want you to check the sutures of his vasectomy.Then the ole rectal polyp ploy. I think you should consider calling Nate in on this one.After all,he is an expert in this area.

knowing what little i do about cat, i found that story to be very odd. i would never offer to change a stranger's bandage, and i'm so friendly that sometimes i scare people.

You're scaring me,right now.

sorry. it's a habit.