Funny

While on the subject: How to impress a woman: > > > > > > Wine her, > > > Dine her, > > > Call her, > > > Hug her, > > > Support her, > > > Hold her, > > > Surprise her, > > > Compliment her, > > > Smile at her, > > > Listen to her, > > > Laugh with her, > > > Cry with her, > > > Romance her, > > > Encourage her, > > > Believe her, > > > Pray with her, > > > Pray for her, > > > Cuddle with her, > > > Shop with her, > > > Give her jewelry, > > > Buy her flowers, > > > Hold her hand, > > > Write her love letters, > > > Go to end of earth and back for her. > > > > > > > > > How to impress a man: > > > > > > Show up naked .... bring food ... Don't block the TV.

you forgot the beer!

i was thinking that too. So much for impressing a guy!

what if she brings sex toys instead of beer? or does nothing replace beer?

pfffft toys are for kids sister. bring the beer, your rosey ass and the remote control.

bourbon replaces beer. the bottom line is know your man.

"the bottom line is know your man." That would be why it doesn't mention beer. My man doesn't drink it. Or bourbon. mmmmmmmmm bourbon.

Can you hear me now? Secret Weapon

Sneak. I didn't know you wanted my picture for this!!!!!

What was Coca-Cola thinking? Check out the belt buckle as well.

In a ligher note: MILF MILF MILF!

milf?

American Pie. M.I.L.F.

Stiffler's Mom

M.I.L.F. is Mom I'd Like to Fuck. From "American Pie" in the form of Stiffler's Mom.

never saw it. eri, trace wants to fuck karen black.

Who is Karen Black? Can I pretend to be her?

How about them Twins?

???? What the hell was that?

The Bush Twins partying. Hey, how about some KFC?

ROFLMFAO how can you tell thats the twins? thats about the worst quality pic ive seen in years.

i found it on thefirsttwins.com

That was fucking hillarious love!!!!

Come on, give me a Kiss!

Submitted for your puking pleasure

why couldn't they be holding each other's breasts?

I like this one better

ass bag ass clowns I like it

hillary does not have fat thighs.

Boy, you sure hate free speech, don't you spunky?

this is my particular favorite. Its SO true! spunk, can you NOT be a tool for one day? i have an inkling of resepct for those 'chicks' despite thinking their music sucks ass because they actually took their influence to spread a good word for a brief moment. anyone who gives them shit for doing so is cog in a mass fickle idiotic public. no one protested or boycotted some of those other silly rednecks when they came out with ridiculously patritioc and zenophibic songs after 9/11.

"no one protested or boycotted some of those other silly rednecks when they came out with ridiculously patritioc and zenophibic songs after 9/11." So then you haven't bitched about these songs and you went out and bought their singles? Or have you berated the songs (protesting) and refused to buy them (boycotting) just yourself not realizing that you were part of a silent group doing the same? The only difference is that you were silent in you actions (on the mass scale) and didn't have a large group publicly speaking these things. For the Dixie Chicks, their public, their fans are the same people who buy the 9/11 patriotic shit. Their biggest fan base is patriotic, so their comments upset their fan base. So therefore their fan base boycotted them. There are still people who believe they didn't do anything wrong and still buy their music. It pretty much goes that way for all types of music. People get boycotted by their fan base when they do/say something that offends that fan base. Very few artists have the fan base that is open minded enough to still enjoy their music when they don't agree with what the artist says. The band TATu is being boycotted on MTV right now because their song "All the things you said" had lesbians in school girl uniforms in the video, when the song is about lesbians and their loved ones not understanding their love. It happens all of the time, it's just that people have made the biggest deal out of the Dixie Chicks. It all relates back to the fan base though.

i hated the dixie chicks before this happened.

well alright then.

"Boy, you sure hate free speech, don't you spunky?" do you mean that, sem? because i think that what spunky is doing is just as vital as free speech as what the dixie chicks did. isn't a boycott free speech?

i never said they did not have the right to say it. i found it personally distasteful, and i have never had any respect for them. besides, it did not take a whole hell of a lot of courage to spew the same vile slime that was and still is coming out of most "celebrities" mouths these days. It would take a lot more courage to stand on the stage where they were and say they stand behind their president. That deserves respect.

i never said they did not have the right to say it. i found it personally distasteful, and i have never had any respect for them. besides, it did not take a whole hell of a lot of courage to spew the same vile slime that was and still is coming out of most "celebrities" mouths these days. It would take a lot more courage to stand on the stage where they were and say they stand behind their president. That deserves respect.

how would toeing the party line take more courage? the fact that the chicks are being publicly denounced and reviled stands as proof that by (the fat one, i dont know their names) saying what she did took courage. "vile slime"; just because it isnt your opinion doesn't mean its not a valid thought/opinion. vile adjective.1 abominable, disgusting, execrable, filthy, foul, hateful, horrible, loathsome, nasty, nauseating, obnoxious, odious, offensive, repellent, repugnant, repulsive, revolting, sickening, ugly. 2 base, contemptible, degenerate, depraved, despicable, evil, immoral, low, perverted, sinful, ugly, vicious, wicked slime noun oozy or sticky substance. ·colloquial muck, mucus, mud, ooze, sludge I am fairly certain that neither of these words were used correctly to describe someones speech what was said may have been, inaccurate or incorrect, unlikeable or maybe even wrong but im sure that it wasn't 'vile slime'

it was too me. how many celebrities took to the stage in london to tote the party line? that WOULD have taken courage

The "fat one" is not fat.

she does have a fairly round face though, which can add to the illusion of 'fat'.

you're right, she 'country thin'.

she nasty

It doesn't take any courage to toe to the party line spunky. You know that. There's no repercussions or danger in holding to the party line. Now, if some punk rocker came out and said: "I'm proud of our president" that would take courage, because he would get heckled off the stage. Probably wouldn't recieve death threats, though.

sure he would.

im beginning to think that you're contrary, just for the sake of being contrary.... And this is what leads other posters to come down on you so hard at times...

how long have you been hanging around, kevo?

He wouldn't recieve death threats. THat's not punk. He would just be accused of selling out and might get a bottle chucked at his head.

I hung around for 4 months before I posted anything. I hung around for a month before Sem actually sent me here. How's that for sneaky?

ive been posting here since 98. minus a couple of years where i went without a PC. why? but in case you really want to know.. i lurked for 2 months before posting.

i opened my big mouth the minute i came here....sometime in....98 i think.

I've been here since 2000. Is it just me, or was this place more fun a year or two ago? Maybe I'm just burnt out with it all.

It's not just you. I should try to persuade Droopy to come back.

yes. droopy, crimson, pilate, pug, oswald and RC need to all come back, and cat needs to stop taunting us with glimpses of her tartness.

I came here in 2001, so I missed crimson, pilate and oswald. Didn't have a chance to get to know pug well, and I miss droopy and RC. I find cat taunting us with glimpses of her tartness amusing and funny.

I thought DrOopy had passed on?

"I've been here since 2000. Is it just me, or was this place more fun a year or two ago? Maybe I'm just burnt out with it all." I understand that, and have been that way from time to time. However, we are on the downhill slide towards the next pres election. I think things are barely getting started.

Wait a minute! What does the presidential election have to do with this messageboard? Why why why do most of the threads started nowadays have to be about politics? How about we go back to what we used to talk about all the time, namely, trivial shit about our daily lives? It's been fun arguing about culture and history, hasn't it? Let's forget about politics for a while, okay? Please?

Droopy is alive and fairly well in Fort Worth, working at a kind of antique store and playing the blues.

so that was a joke????

What was a joke?

you are thinking of fetidbeaver...who reportedly ODed

oh, maybe I am... I just remember someone's wife posting to let us know he was gone. I good have sworn it was droop. I did not know he oded...

Yeah, that's news to me.... Now there was a guy who could take the piss out of your sails! not to mention mix his metaphors.

I had no idea he had OD'd. Honey, I could have told you it was FB, though. I miss him. He made me laugh. I am all for mundane non-political threads, but I think that after 9/11 things just changed direction because these things just didn't seem important enough to discuss much for a while. I would like to see more fun threads, though. I miss discussing lingerie with RC.

Mundane? You've got it backward.

"Mundane? You've got it backward." Danemun? enadnuM?

!yltcaxe

!skaerF

yag

syegakstifer (i wonder how many people will try to read that before realizing it's gibberish)

sdaerht dlo

hehe sem, i did. hi again everyone. i come back, and now nate's leaving? gbah. sadness. but dont think i could make it through finals week without you guys, i have need of this place for wee-hours study break posts when the whole dorm is asleep. well since i left i (mostly) got over a boy, failed to mend my study habits, made myself a whore to the theater department though my major is physics, got drunk with faculty, and decided that morality is obsolete. and now i'm writing a paper on scenery in the italian renaissance.

Hi Ophelia, What are you doing this summer? Since you left I too, failed to mind my study habits, got tipsy with the professor I want for my advisor and her husband, felt my first earthquake and lost my grandfather. Today I am working on two papers on Hemingway's Garden of Eden.

image for today

laugh for the day.

That was good Sarah!

dammit i got Problem Report Access denied to the system by SmartFilter, while attempting to retrieve the URL. Message ID SMARTFILTER_DENIED Secure Computing Problem Description Your system was configured to deny access to this URL. Problem Cause The request was denied, as specified in the SmartFilter Content Filter configuration. The content category reported is EXTREME. Possible Solution Contact your network support team if this problem persists, and provide the team your account information. on the first one and Problem Report Access denied to the system by SmartFilter, while attempting to retrieve the URL. Message ID SMARTFILTER_DENIED Secure Computing Problem Description Your system was configured to deny access to this URL. Problem Cause The request was denied, as specified in the SmartFilter Content Filter configuration. The content category reported is SEX. Possible Solution Contact your network support team if this problem persists, and provide the team your account information. That filter sends reports of any denied access attempts on the base to me, but I would not doubt they go somewhere else as well........

Don't know why, I just found this picture funny

maybe they are getting ready to bump bellies over the camels

or maybe "No, Apu I said camel LIGHTS."

spunk, do you know how much you're setting yourself up for a social engineering exploit? Obviously not...

The only thing I have to say about the Dixie Chicks is how funny it is that their album sales have actually gone up since the boycott began ditto Michael Moores Oscar speech, his book went back to no. 1 and the movie attendance went up...

it usually works that way rowlf. when the tipper used to be more active with the PMRC, album sales went the through the roof. She actually helped the sales of 2 Live Crew albums

and its the reason FOXNews and Howard Stern have such high ratings... you get the fans, and you get the people who are outraged who want to see what weak-ass shit is coming up next.

Social engineering exploit? Dammit, i was just trying to make a joke. I am staying out of any debates for a while

great picture kev. hehe. my roommate is very cutesy animal-y and despises alcohol. i sort of want to show her the pic to get a reaction, but i think she would rant and i'm not in the mood, so i'll refrain. kazoo, study habits are overrated... at least thats my philosophy all of the time except finals week and then i wish i had been a better student. oh well. i'm not familiar with Garden of Eden. i am taking an Am Lit class but it is literature of the american west. i was going to write a paper on The Grapes of Wrath even though its been done a million times over, but now i am reading Blood Meridian, and am thinking of changing my topic to something from that book since i enjoy it so much. that one's not due til a week from monday though, so i have time. this summer i am going home to the boston suburbs for a bit (you're from boston, right? where?), then living in maine for a few months with my dad's cousin and being paid to watch his 2-1/2 year old daughter. she is really fun, and i'm hoping to also have some time to relax and read. i'm really looking forward to this. i'm not certain if i'll have an internet connection available though. then i'll probably do some camping and hiking around new england before heading back to school. what about you?

oh YES

musn't make obvious "msn/shit" joke.....

Ophelia, On Monday I am moving to Ohio to spend the summer with Sem. I will be finishing my papers there. Hopefully it will just be editing and proofreading what I write this weekend. I'm from Lowell. I lived in Boston for three years (Brighton) before going back to school. Did you see that the old man in the mountain collapsed? Where do you hike? I like Carter Notch in the White Mountains. I used to sneak up there for weekends away from everyone.

I can't get this poem out of my head so now I'm going to put it in yours: somebody god I got the sad blue blues, this woman sat there and she said are you really Charles Bukowski? and I said forget that I do not feel good I've got the sad sads all I want to do is fuck you and she laughed she thought I was being clever and O I just looked up her long slim legs of heaven I saw her liver and her quivering intestine I saw Christ in there jumping to a folk-rock all the long lines of starvation within me rose and I walked over and grabbed her on the couch ripped her dress up around her face and I didn't care rape or the end of the earth one more time to be there anywhere real yes her panties were on the floor and my cock went in my cock my god my cock went in I was Charles Somebody.

nice. kazoo, i was actually thinking of applying to work in one of those amc huts this summer, but this other thing came up and maine sounded good. maybe i will next year though. i did some of the presidentials last summer, webster, jackson, eisenhower, monroe, washington. we ate meals (our own food) at mizpah hut and lake of the clouds, and also went by and saw the old man... he fell??? i hadn't heard that. that's really sad. i may have done wildcat, but probably never stayed at carter notch... i've been hiking the white mountains with my family since i was wee, though, so i don't always remember which i've done and then heard stories about doing or which ones i've heard stories about that didn't involve my going up them, ya know? okay that's probably really annoying for people who don't know the area, so here's a crappy map: http://www.cs.dartmouth.edu/whites/photos/hut_map.gif ...maybe it will help make sense of this nonsense.

its more than one but what the hell

and now, accidental porn

fantastic

sometimes buck really turns me on.

http://images.southparkstudios.com/media/video/705/tacoflavoredkisses.mov

I sing that all of the time, usually in public places to freak people out.

yikes! mons venus eye trap.

http://www.carolontheweb.com/links/votingmachine.html

Notice that, with that particular voting machine, you could vote democrat with any of the blocks. It's a conspiracy!

I think you would have to match the colors, too. Did anyone notice that the animal inside the shape for the independent party was a chicken?

I saw a great bumper sticker yesterday. I'd best watch my back.

I like how that's on a Japanese truck.

I got a kick out of that too. I think I kind of freaked him out. Weird guy behind him taking pictures.

http://www.bushstatue.org/ this site IS a joke, right?

treat it like one and laugh away... cause if you dont, just think of the implications.... I'll have to read more about it be4 passing any judgement... nice statue tho... i always said it was his tiny penis that made him start the war....

http://www.danburymintcatalog.com/images/031_01.jpg look to the bottom right of that picture... Oh. My. God. Not to be morbid, but can you imagine the fun you could have with that thing?

http://home.cogeco.ca/~jwhitney1/LJ/waterbearer.jpg

Rowlf, you come up with some awesome pictures. What exactly did you have in mind with the statue of Iwo Jima?

Hi, spunky. I was just thinking how crazy it would have been if Lucy had come back and tried arguing with you, but then started to spontaneously combust because she would realize she was agreeing with Patrick and Antigone...It was a fun little scenario.

I wonder if Lucy ever comes back to lurk, or posts under a different name.

i am limiting myself to certain threads only right now. I am wanting to stay away from political debates at this time due to being told to shut up on a regular basis, and I am still in the process of re-evaluating my stances. Oh, and not because of the verbal thrashings I receive here either.

Hey, spunkman's back. I knew he'd come back. They always do.

for a limited engagement

Sorabji's a hard addiction to shake. I made a couple posts promising to have a greater presence after the 17th... But one taste and I find that I'm somehow finding time to keep up even though I'm working AND it's finals week. I'm looking forward to next week. I'm going to start sleeping again. That doesn't really explain the occasional necessary absences, though. It's complex. Whatever happened to Hal's glorious return? Or was that Jack's?

TBone, what are you studying? I browsed your website the other day, and the pics were great. Forgive me for saying, but for some obscene reason, you have always been one of my fav's...

TBone, you salty dog.

Computer Science. I was considerably distressed then the M.A.S.H. test told me I'd be a programmer in Las Vegas. If 5 years (slacker!) of Computer Science education have taught me one thing, it's that I don't want to be a friggin' computer programmer as a career. Not that I'd mind a job that included programming... That said, I'm probably going to be one for a while out of necessity. I've got a whole bunch of stuff that I've been meaning to add to the galleries. I plan on doing a lot more photography this summer, too. With film, even. I'm glad the reason I'm one of your favorites is obcene. I wouldn't have it any other way. Probably has something to do with the old days of the webcam in my dormroom. I do have a sweet ass.

well, what would I do with the WTC building... Well for one, I think a dog humping it might be humorous in some sick way. Here is your video of the day. http://www.redlinechicago.com/arvid/yatta/

you had said on the right side (i had figured you meant the left, but who knows?).... hey sem.

YATTA! anyway, it's great to see everyone with a case of Lucy nostalgia. Warms my heart. It's good that enough time has passed and we can finally talk about it :)

shit you're right spunk the Iwo Jima thing doesnt really do it for me. I'll pass on that one

Anyone have any hairspray?

I don't think hairspray is what he needs in that picture, or are afros coming back yet again? I saw a few kids (teens) outside the local rehabed criminal apartment complex with them recently.

Saw that Yatta thing and had to wonder wtf? Sent the link to an acquaintence in Singapore to ask him if he knew what was up with that thing? (And no, I don't think that he knows all things Asian but thought he might have a clue as to what/why it exists). Seemed to me like a mixture of the Chippendale Dancers and Devo, if they were all Asian. Strange....

hehehe where in the world is this? Its european judging by the license plates that can be seen, but.... any ideas?

Yatta means "alright", or according to others "we did it", its supposed to be an uplifting song about life... some of the lyrics translated are like "a young man just graduating!" "succeeding great in business!"

First picture of Earth taken from the surface of Mars

Cool.

Not taken from surface. From Mars orbit

I still love those pictures. The one on Space.Com was much clearer. I have not checked that site in weeks. Thanks Antigone

the Simpsons' incredibly unfunny and inaccurate parody of South Park http://images.southparkstudios.com/media/video/misc/Simpsons_spoof_southpark.mpeg

cant type. . . too excited. . . . !!!!!!!!!!!!! REN & STIMPY! John K! back! later! new TNN/"Spike TV"! not for kids! oh! my! god!

OH JOY!

Now all I need is for them to bring back Count Duckula

Duckula

i too, was a big fan of Duckula, and his rockin' theme song.

you mean this?

Duckula was my hero.

What about Danger Mouse?

As far as animated ducks go, the only one i ever liked was Daffy (what a retard), then they made DUCKMAN!!!! and my opinion changed... Duckman rocks!!!!!!!!!! BTW, i heard a rumor that they were planning on making more Family Guy episodes, anyone know anything about that???

Funny

I loved Dangermouse. I miss Penfold.

I miss Captain Cave Man. But that is a whole different type of toon altogether.

right on sem, right fuckin' on! how 80's synth is that theme song, ouch. . . that's not Vincent Price, but close enough to make me very sad :( i want Duckman back on so bad.... Seeing John K is fun, but it reminds me that all animator guys, on earth, ever, are exactly the same. I know this for a fact. They're fun at first but then VERY annoying. I used to go out partying with them in college, one is okay but get 2 or more in a group and you'll just want to kill yourself. I can't stand them anymore. They're all nerdly and kooky, jumpy and zany, most with glasses, and funky printed shirts. But they are cocky...they are THE SHIT! Huge egos on the animation boys. And they think they're hillarious all the time too. I know it's just the nature of what they do but goddamn, i avoid them to this day. Mark my words people, they are all the same.

wisper,we dont have huge ego,s we are mearly masters of the universe.

beep beep

funny dammit, funny!

Big Update

Now that's one big pussy!!!

I hate it when there are spelling mistakes in captions. It bugs the shit out of me. "captian" - captain "Mandrin" - Mandarin MANDARIN IS WRITTEN ON THE SIDE OF THE FUCKING PLANE, GENIUS

Aw, put a Cork in it

Ouch

Martha

Another Give it a few seconds

isnt that your god of houswork and home stuff lady?

yes, but for now she is the local whipping boy

i love martha stewart. The home & garden network and foodtv puts re-runs of her shows on as late-night filler, she's on about 5 times between 1 and 4am, i always try to catch at least one show a night. It's such a great way to end the day, "at least SOMEONE got some shit done today." Makes ya feel like everything is going to be okay after all. The napkins all have rings on them, and the roses are trimmed just so. *sigh*

look at this great statue!

That's too cool Wisper!

Love the statue. I saw your god on Oprah once. She told us the correct way to fold fitted sheets. I can't remember how to do it now. So I just roll them up in a ball and chuck them in the cupboard.

Now, I have to say that This is damn funny

That was funny, but I can't believe it came from you.....

Giant Gambian Rat

With a lad for scale Scroll down a little bit.

the scottish rat was actually kind of cute.

I was just thinking that some of those rats were actually damned cute. Don't need rats, have rodents. Don't need rats, have hamsters.

Here is a gallery of exotic pets

Here is a gallery of exotic pets

Here is a gallery of erotic pets.

The following were answers provided by 6th graders during history tests: 1. Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies and they all wrote in hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert. The climate of the Sarah is such that all the inhabitants have to live elsewhere. 2. Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea where they made unleavened bread, which is bread made without any ingredients. Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments. He died before he ever reached Canada. 3. Solomon had three hundred wives and seven hundred porcupines. 4. The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we wouldn't have history. The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a female moth. 5. Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock. After his death, his career suffered a dramatic decline. 6. Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The Ides of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be made king. Dying, he gasped out: "Tee hee, Brutus." 7. Joan of Arc was burnt to a steak and was canonized by Bernard Shaw. 8. Queen Elizabeth was the "Virgin Queen." As a queen she was a success. When she exposed herself before her troops they all shouted "hurrah." 9. It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg invented removable type and the Bible. Another important invention was the circulation of blood. Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented cigarettes and started smoking. 10. Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100-foot clipper. 11. The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. He was born in the year 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never made much money and is famous only because of his plays. He wrote tragedies, comedies, and hysterectomies, all in Islamic pentameter. Romeo and Juliet are an example of a heroic couple. Romeo's last wish was to be laid by Juliet. 12. Writing at the same time as Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes. He wrote Donkey Hote. The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote Paradise Lost. Then his wife died and he wrote Paradise Regained. 13. Delegates from the original 13 states formed the Contented Congress. Thomas Jefferson, a Virgin, and Benjamin Franklin were two singers of the Declaration of Independence. Franklin discovered electricity by rubbing two cats backward and declared, "A horse divided against itself cannot stand." Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead. 14. Johann Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and had a large number of children. In between, he practiced on an old spinster which he kept up in his attic. Bach died from 1750 to the present. Bach was the most famous composer in the world and so was Handel. Handel was half German, half Italian, and half English. He was very large.

no comment. just Look

i also drove by the filming of Starsky & Hutch this weekend. I think Vince Vaugn is in it. You'd think they were incapable of dreaming up an original idea. The problem is, most of you monkeys are paying for the recycled shit

I haven't paid a dime for any recycled shit. Haven't gone to the movies, haven't seen it, don't wanna. I totally don't want to see the remake of Battlestar Galactica, cuz I loved the first one as a child and don't want it ruined by a remake now. I have this weird thing for buying the original movie, not the remade one. My collection doesn't really reflect that now, cuz I have gotten rid of so many of them, but it once did.

Here's one for ya!

shit. im gonna cry

holy shit sem

on the subject of dogs.

I'll leave that one for the Supreme Court...

happy dog

http://www.thesodajerks.com/jerks/scare.html

It seems god is flipping us the bird from space...

Daytona 5000

For Patrick I think it was you that said he thought she was hot....

Screen shot of ICQ Chat between Bush43 & Kim Jong II

more

start at the bottom of that last one

The BLOB

Yarrrr

Current Trooper

no face

locutus of borg

Do you guys remember if I posted a link to a picture of a baby orangutan with a little smile on its face? I'm trying to find its URL.

No one's gonna help me find my monkey?

I don't remember seeing it Spider,sorry.

i can hardly keep track of my own monkey.... :)

It was the cutest little monkey....every time I'd look at the picture, I'd laugh.... :~(

Would google help?

Nope. I swear I posted the picture here somewhere....

Welcome Home

please tell us you arent buying that shit? there are dozens others like her. she's not so special, just a media cookie that you perhaps you're ating like the rest of them.

check out uncle dad behind her!

funny that dimlu accuses us of being media sheep, then sucks up his own flavor of hype...

i think i might have saved that picture if you want me to send it to you

No, I know for a fact that most of the story was prop BS. They all are welcome home (by me at least) as heros.

so why would you think any of us would give a rats about it?

cold.

I'm glad she's home,just cause the media blew this all out of proportion doesn't undermine the fact that she was injured and I'm glad she's o.k.That poor girl didn't have a clue what she was getting into when she enlisted,she was trying to better herself and get out of bum fuck W.V. And Dave I noticed that uncle dad rederence wise guy.

oops! reference

really? unless you intend to post such a post about all hundreds of other wounded coming home, why would you think we want to take a bite of that shit sandwich. has nothing to do with being cold. has everything to do with not taking of bite of that bullshit media shit sandwich. just like that halloween episode of the simpons where the larger than life billboards come alive and destroy the town...."just don't look" is the saying that saves the day. im not looking to give the media any more empowerment.

I think it's nice that the people in her home town have worked on her house so she'll have wheelchair access.Those are good people in those hills.

Mars

Iraqi MiG-25 Foxbat burried in the sand.

Spears

I like this one better.

spears is going to out do madonna

I read a great article about why Spears would *never* outdo Madonna. The gist was, Spears is a tease...Madonna is insatiable. Let me see if I can find the URL...

when is spears going to "do" madonna??

she's so not attractive. i dont get it.

she is not to me either, but that does not mean shit. I find shorter, petite women the most attractive.

I think Brittney is attractive,I think Angelina Jolie is beautiful.

the only way they can photograph that tard is to have her tilt her head wayy back and slop her hair on her face. hell they should just put a bag over her head for that matter.

Angelina Jolie bugs the shit out of me. I don't know if it's the fact that she uses a stagename with a last name of what means "pretty" in French (I'm assuming it's a stagename), or if it's those big puffy implanted lips which will look comical on her in 10 years, and the fact that I just don't think she's that pretty.

well, considering her father is Jon Voight and her mother is some other woman named Marcheline Bertrand, its a stage name.

having jon voight for a dad has to be a hellofa thing

Jolie might end up looking like Bridgitte Bardot when she's older(probably),but I still think she's beautiful.I don't think her lips are implants,they are like her dads.She doesn't much care for him,he wasn't there for her as a child,and I see Billy Bob Thorton is playing at Nita's Hideaway just down the street from me for $20.00 alt. country next week.

Jolie bugs me. I'm just not into her. Spears bugs me,cuz I don't think she is pretty, and what is up with her boobs constantly changing sizes? I think it is true though, that Britney is a tease and could never do Madonna.

why are you talking about something so uninportant like her?? pffffffffffffffffffffffffffff a.k

do some nudies and then we will talk about you, anna.....

Asta LaVista

Now this makes me wish that Jesse Ventura was still guv of Minnesota. Can you imagine the governer's conference?

WWE SMACKDOWN! And if Springer were to run for Gov of Illinois, he could play the ref. Who would be the card girl? I think it is funny gary coldman (SP?) was going to go for it.

My Girl is running. Hot damn. You get the impression she's a demon in the sack? I do.

He said he still is going to run for the office, even though Arnold will be. Dad called me this morning. Said it was funny. Apparently Arnie got a standing ovation when he said he was going to run for office. Dad said he won't vote for him and doesn't want him to get it cuz he is a "moderate" republican and doesn't share the same views on important matters. Says Arnie takes the women's right stance on abortion and if you are going to do that you might as well make murder legal across the board.....went off about it.....I nearly hung up on him.

Patrick: She's greek. DUH. But here's the ideal candidate for you.

no wayyyy dood. im much more attracted to panty hose and progressive politics than i am to coke whores and patriotic bras.

that girl should put on a shirt for chrissakes.

So should this one

Those sag, but they aren't as nasty as the one before. I wonder if that picture will damage Arnie's campaign?

In California? No way - if anything it would improve it.

Sorry, I should have put *sarcasm* after that one.

Hell, that picture is nothing compared to him lighting up a big fatty in the "Punping Iron" documentary.

http://www.anomalies-unlimited.com/OddPics/Hitler.html

Did anyone hear of the Transvestite model/stripper that ran for mayor in Toronto a couple of years ago? Now that was an interesting campaign...

I thought those boobs were lovely. So many men, so few reasonable expectations.

Yoga

Political Art you should like

heres a little story 'bout that tranny... we had some stellar candidates that year...

So profoundly airbrushed.

although the mayoral elections in TO. have been put to shame by the Cali. Governor race... what a crop of loonies you guys have...

*cough* http://times-age.co.nz/weekly/beyer2.html

i fall to pieces.... each time i see....

Pictures of Mikayla from birth to now. I am in the process of updating all pages on our family website.

whose boobs agatha? the porn stars or the chick with Arnie?

Miki really was tiny,I love the one where she's smiling with Santa.

actually with santa, she has this look of "um. mom. dad? who is this fuzzy asshole whom you've pawned me off on?" she's super sweet and i can totally see eri in that one studio portrait...with the navy dress. in the pics ive seen eri, sometimes you have this look , like you are looking through the camera, out the back door in your car and away.

Yeah, I get like that in lots of pics. Don't like the photographers, can't get into the pics. I also hate the way I look on camera these days. Hell, I just hate the way I look most of the time these days....I'm going through a total "OMG, I look so ugly" phase that has lasted for the past 4 years and is only getting worse. No one has ever said they saw ANYTHING of me in Micki before, though. That's cool.

I think the naked yoga pic looks airbrushed. No one has skin that perfect.

light can do wonderful things.

You can so see eri in this one

Patrick, you are a good photographer. I have seen your stuff and I like a lot of it. But when you go to K-Mart or Wal-Mart or Sears for pictures, the idiots behind the camera know even less than I do. I think that is why I don't like a lot of the pics of me, and can't get into it. With you, it would be easier, cuz I am comfortable that you will come up with good pics showing something that isn't normally shown by some idiot in a box taking pictures. That, and I don't like to have candids taken of me without my knowledge and then put up on the web. I usually don't like most of those pics either. Spunky always sneaks up when I have no idea he is taking pictures and then I freak out like a mad woman :)

well. i understand. the problem with the sears, kmart photogs is their horrible abuse of light. they flood the setting, take a reading to make sure the face is exposed correctly then boom. they're done. on top of the ridiculous backdrops, they are, by nature, uptight experiences. to make a good photo as a subject and photographer i think a couple of key things should be kept in mind *relax, its just a photo *stop and double, triple think of what you see in the viewfinder. hell, just count to 5 before you snap and look at the entire frame. *try to pose as little as possible and *never be afraid to get a little closer.

"*try to pose as little as possible and *never be afraid to get a little closer." patrick, are you sure you're not giving relationship advice? :)

or sell mouthwash?

It is excellent relationship advice, though. * relax * stop and double, triple think of what you see * count to 5 before you snap * try to pose as little as possible * never be afraid to get a little closer :)

I thought that was a deodorant commercial (Arid Extra Dry).... this is my favorite picture of Mikayla to date.

Jim Van Oss' images This guy does some great work. I especially like the shipwreck and the one of all the little boats lined up. Great use of light and composition.

sweet. I am begging for a better digital camera.

Miami Fl today

http://news.com.au/common/story_page/0,4057,6947020^13762,00.html

excuse me.

WHALE FLATULENCE STUNS SCIENTISTS!!!!!!!!!!!!

ROTK pics!!! The site is in German, but DAMN

DAMN. 3 months and 29 days left, is it?

Yup. I am going crazy. Right now eri and I are trying to decide if we buy the two towers dvd that comes out next week, then sell it or give it away and buy the extended version when it comes out in November. Damn those marketing geniuses

BabelFish translated

Do what I did last year -- just rent the August DVD and buy the extended version later. Of course, you might have to wait a few days or weeks to find a copy of the DVD in your video store...

Or, hell, buy both. The August version is 40% off on Amazon.

a caption for this picture reads: "Aaaangriff!!! As a knappe of king Théoden rides Merry into the battle ( thanks Philipp Lessig and other one! )" Hmmmmmmm, I guess he could not find a horse?

walmart is going to have it for about the same price

I'm happy there will be so much Boromir in the ROTK. Sean Bean, how I love thee!

this man really needs to pull his Head out of his ass

Looks like he could probably give himself a nice high colonic while he's in there.

He's probably looking for his keys.

Tara Reid

Oh honey, she dresses like that all of the time.... or is it that you think she's hot? ;)

I have no response to that at this time.

of course he thinks shes hot. no need to be coy.

i think she's creepy.

I know that Patrick, but I like to pick on him and make his squirm a little.

I think she looks like a skank. Luscious

im with you spider. she does look skank, but she's a "hottie". not attracted, but she is a "hottie". the Maxim chic is not my bag though. Your UK cooking bird is more my taste.

That woman does something funny to me. I don't know if I want to be her, be with her, or devour her cannibalistically. She's just amazing.

wow.

Nigella Lawson is one of the sexiest women alive. She's almost as sexy as my girlfriend. :)

Those images of her suck, though. She's always hidden behind something, obscuring her luscious gargantuan hips. It's just a crime.

women generally dislike the word gargantuan used when referring to their hips trust me

or their ass,some might not mind the word when you say it about their breasts though,can we say Pamela Anderson?

instead of gargantuan, try 'gorgonesque' or 'owl proof'.

or 'junk in the trunk' in fact i told the wife how much i loved her 'junk in the trunk' just this morning.

"women generally dislike the word gargantuan used when referring to their hips" Oh, that's just silly. I love gargantuan hips on a woman. I know lots of guys who love gargantuan hips on a woman. Be proud of your hips, baby!

I was puzzling over that last ROTK pic spunky linked to, wondering why a Rider of Rohan would be wearing an elven cloak, then I realized it was Merry in Rohan armor! Sweet!Spider, where did you hear that Boromir will be in ROTK? I know about the flashbacks in the extended cut of Two Towers, but haven't heard that he would appear afer that.

sem. keep up. we're talking about something totally different. don't go and dorkify our conversation about gargantuan hips and junk in the trunk.

Too bad patrick. I'm here to dorkify EVERY conversation. :P

Da Bonnasses Page

AKA How do you want to go to jail today?

AKA How do you want to go to jail today?

Sem, check out the German site Trace links to above -- it had lots of screen shots of the movie (or trailer?), and there looked to be a lot of flashback scenes with Boromir and Faramir, and Boromir and Denethor.

From the ads I have seen on tv, I am wondering if some of those aren't in the extended footage on the Two Towers dvd.

FUCKING OUCH. WARNING: NOT SAFE FOR WORK OR SMALL CHILDREN OR anyone who just ate

Fucking Ouch Picture only, I would suggest this link versus the one above. WARNING: NOT SAFE FOR WORK OR SMALL CHILDREN OR anyone who just ate

what the fuck was that?

somethings are just wrong. that was one of them.

that had to be one of the worste things I have ever seen. I don't think I have run across that one on rotten.com yet...

Where on earth do you come up with these pics honey? That looked like a midget porn site ;)

is that an 'after' shot of a guy getting his dick forked? that's my guess, anyway. (forked as in split in two at the top for cosmetic reasons, not attacked by a fork, although that may work too.) Spider- "That woman does something funny to me. I don't know if I want to be her, be with her, or devour her cannibalistically. She's just amazing." yes oh god yes! last night i told Rowlf that i'd rather he got his tongue forked than grow a moustache. I meant it.

"last night i told Rowlf that i'd rather he got his tongue forked than grow a moustache. I meant it." I'm with you on this one. Is he a white man? I didn't want to make that assumption without knowing. Anyway, WMMs (White men with moustaches) look gay. And I don't mean gay as in stupid, I mean gay as in homosexual, but not in a positive like the grooming guy from queer eye way. I mean in a burt reynolds way. Ick. Throw some white piped ass-hugging running shorts and tube socks pulled up to the knees while you're at it.

ever since I saw Gangs of New York I've been teasing wisper with the possibility of getting bizarre 1800s facial hair styles the gaudy clothing I think she could live with.

"Is he a white man? I didn't want to make that assumption without knowing. Anyway, WMMs (White men with moustaches) look gay" it's true, it's all true. i loves me the Freddy Mercury, but not THAT much. tongue forks? not a big deal.

Not a picture but fucking funny

it scares me that so many people wanted to really see a jeepers creepers 2 website, much less the movie. *sigh*

"DO YOU REMEBER WHEN CLINTON BOMBED AN ASPRIN FACTORY FULL OF INNONCENT IRAQUIS? DIDNT THINK SO. YOURE AN IGNORANT, UNEDUCATED ASSHOLE. FUCK YOU. " holy crap. i didn't realize that they had packed that factory in the sudan full of Iraquoi! er, Eyrecwoai. er, uh.

Holy Bleeding nutbags batman

Holy fuck a moley Christ on a condom,in Jesus name,amen.

I learnt a new saying on the weekend. 'Frothing at the gash'. heee

I learnt a new saying on the weekend. 'Frothing at the gash'. heee

Wow. I LIKE that. Moonit, I bought some NZ beer last night - i think it's called Export Gold or something like that. Not too bad, and a pretty good value at $5 a six-pack at Trader joes!

I'm trying to slip it into everyday conversation as much as I can, but its hard seeing I'm all innocent and sweet and shit. hee. Yeah made by DB. Most of my friends drink it - Im not really a beer drinker, I wish I was but I hate the smell of it. Nice price too.

Here's an image of the day for you: http://www.thememoryhole.org/911/managing-wmd.htm

Can't believe you got it for five bucks. Thats f'n cheap as.

Newest Mars Picture from Earth

What's wrong here? http://sprott.physics.wisc.edu/pickover/jelly_se_ad.jpg

The same thing that's wrong here?

The picture I posted is an advertisement for personal lubricant.Now look at it and see if you can see why it's so controversial in Europe.

oh now I see it. O good grief. damn, must be good lubricant!

Took me a while too:)

for cat lovers

cat biggots

You spelled bigot wrong honey :)

another visit from the workers comp fairy!

" She did say that he, obviously, is in some pain, but he is dealing with it." hot damn.

is that crap still hanging out your ass? just wondering if you've done anything about that.

naw, it was done by then. you have to love wireless networking.

The shit was done. It moved on to something else. Just like the Littlest Hobo, Nate's shit was.

My friend Tarn works as a radiographer at our one of our hospitals. She got to x-ray a guy who had been shot by a nail gun, went thru his back and ended up just missing his spinal cord and stopped at his chest.

bush dropping a dog.

You're gonna have to serve somebody. http://cagle.slate.msn.com/media/72/020417_GerogeW-WailingWall.jpg

How about him?

General Dean

Trying to paint Dean like Dukakis is really not going to work. Now, Kucinich, that would work better, maybe.

Driver's License

Be safe, my friends on the east coast.

This is a prom dress,jesus wept http://www.uglydress.com/pregpromdres.html

ohmygod. j, that site is hilarious.

hope my folks house is still standing. its right where the eye is making landfall.

Have they evacuated?

Update Picture My thoughts are with them, patrick

they live in Raleigh, about 2 hours inland. So they are riding it out there. Its a beach house and thankfully its several blocks off the beach. The way its situated should help it. its not like most of the houses, on stilts, one right next to the other. It has some space around it.

I can see the outer fringes of that sucker right overhead from my office window.

Brrrrrrrrrr.

Hi Res Infra Red Large, live image

21st Century Journalist

dammit, try this link

"If you're with the military stay away from two people - the radio guy, and the officer - they're prime targets." I love the overall positive tone of the article. What a crazy world we live in.

Never give up Sem

That reminds me of a few projects I've been on...

me 2.

Can you guess what's all over the floor?

animal feces.

Hey! What's that Smell!

CN YOU FEEL THAT!

Just look Look here One More Time

Hey, what's that smell?

At least she was wearing undies!

aaa! the matrix!!

Well the dogs got good taste [and smell]

Shock and awe at outcome of recall election

Seriously

we're definitely smarter.

The New $20

i'm excited for you guys and your new colour money. welcome to the 21st century

like john stewart said....we're the only country in the world to spend 30 million on devising a new paper format for $20. Im pulling on my collar and doing that "ayeeee,,,,,ohhhh hot in here" thing stewart does.

I think she shaves Safe for work

Those are rather old pics honey....at least for on the internet.

i fucked her. i did.

Patrick, you guys at home?

Who farted?

The BBC has a little slide show...includes spunky's sat image.

those captions and pictures rule. it's like a nice little story about a fire. once upon a time, there was a big fire and it was out of control. . . imagine your 2nd grade teacher sitting on her stool and reading it to the class, pausing after each caption to turn the book around and pan it back and forth in front of the students a few times so they could see the picture. maybe it's just me. . .

Wow

Helluva photo essay

Sorry wrong page

i wish. the fires are about 20 miles from us. all we get is a pinkish apocolyptic haze. thus far its not a threat to us, and if it ever does, hopefully by the time it would a national guard/volunteer firefighter anybody grab a buck and some sand militia would be formed. further there wouldnt be much to burn. most of LA is concrete.

fire twister

I talked to my cousin out there last night. Her place is covered in ash. She is wiggin out. Talks about how the place she lives in smells like burned wood even though she has kept it shut up tight. But she is farther away from it than you are, maybe that is why all the ash is hitting her area? Stay safe Patrick.

ash deposit depends on the wind. where is she? sem there is an awesome flash photo essay at latimes.com.

I was listening to a broadcast today from San Diego. SOunds like the pits of hell have swallowed parts of SoCal.

Spunky, this one's for you.

i cant beleive they di dnot lock that down

Can't. It's the file you serve to search engines to tell them what they can'can't scan. Intersting what they disallow, ya?

Funny what Mark disallows searches on.

see? why doesn't Whitehouse.gov just set THAT up?

ok, that needed a warning.

Yes, yes it did. eri wanted to kill me.......... Attention Wal-Mart Shoppers

Milk does a body good????

Wow. And I thought a couple miles was close.

Well, you see, T-Bone, California has to outdo everyone else... This is probably not the warm welcome the Governator had in mind...

I like the way "Gubinator" sounds as opposed to "Governator". Gubinator sounds more like goober...

uhm, heh heh.....

he wishes

You know that photographer just creamed him/herself when he/she saw that shot through the viewframe.

that was the shot of a life time.

shot of a life time? I don't think so. The image isn't particularly striking or interesting and aside from a few chuckles probably won't evoke much emotion from the general public. Though it might move a few right wing christians who believe that god put Bush in office.

Kaz, Lighten Up.

spunk, never. :P I bet Boykin has it framed already.

there was another shot recently of bush with his head eclipsing some light giving him a god-like coronal glow. i read it was by the same photographer as the lord bush shot.

this is still my favorite Bush pic of all time. It's on my fridge. I never get sick of it. http://www.polizeros.com/images/2002/10/09/bush_turkey.jpg

This explains it all

No swimming

I love the one ring pic....ROFLMAO. That would explain so much! The no swimming pic was taken outside of a restraunt that Spunky stopped at for lunch when he was on the road for this shitty assed business trip.

My nuts are HOT

this is a T-shirt design being advertised on newsmax.com with that in mind, i dont think these are meant for ironic purposes. classy. http://www.thoseshirts.com/images/diversity-closeup.jpg theres more: http://www.thoseshirts.com/images/club600.gif http://www.thoseshirts.com/images/sam500.gif spunk, you'll recognize this one: http://www.thoseshirts.com/images/cat-shirtfront.jpg http://www.thoseshirts.com/images/kick-shirtfront.jpg http://www.thoseshirts.com/images/french-shirtfront.jpg http://www.thoseshirts.com/images/pave500.jpg or you could go for old glory. it scares me that someone who'd wear below might also be proud to sport above. http://www.thoseshirts.com/flagpolowhite.html

finally, from rightwingstuff.com: http://prodtn.cafepress.com/1/8319981_B_tn.jpg

OH WOW! i never thought i'd find a better shirt than this one! but you gone and done it!

holy crap those are awesome t-shirts. Well, except for the fact that a lot of people think they are awesome for quite different reasons than I do....