Toilet Paper!!

sorabji.com: Reasons to be cheerful: Toilet Paper!!
THIS IS A READ-ONLY ARCHIVE FROM THE SORABJI.COM MESSAGE BOARDS (1995-2016).
By Rattle2k on Friday, April 25, 2003 - 05:52 am:

    You want a reason to be cheerful? Wipe your ass WITHOUT toilet paper, you'll be very happy for toilet paper afterwards!!

By sarah on Friday, April 25, 2003 - 12:08 pm:


    amen brother! that totally reminds me of a quote from a poem by Rumi, and he says:


    Even though you're not equipped,
    keep searching:
    equipment isn't necessary on the way to the Lord.



By kazoo on Friday, April 25, 2003 - 12:13 pm:

    I had a roommate who, when she traveled and researched in India, didn't use TP for her bunghole, and when she came home gave us a lecture about how it was unneccessary and a waste of paper. Then about a week after she was home she yelled at me for not changing the role after I used the last of it.

    I hated her.

By sarah on Friday, April 25, 2003 - 12:15 pm:


    kazoo said "bunghole" !!! i didn't know girls were allowed to use that word.



By eri on Friday, April 25, 2003 - 01:09 pm:

    When I travelled outside of this country (I was a teenager at the time) we stopped at this roadside restraunt for tacos and later found out that the employees didn't use tp for their bungholes. We all ended up very sick. My aunt who was living on an oxygen tank ended up with Hepatitis, and my mom and one of my cousins. The rest of us ended up with some disease that apparently isn't even in the US. Ever since then I have been really picky about using tp for my bunghole and washing my hands religiously.

By kazoo on Friday, April 25, 2003 - 01:22 pm:

    ew. my mother asked me a few years back if I washed my hands after using the toilet. It was such a strange moment. I guess she didn't recall actually teaching us that.

    Last night sem told me that his mom used to feed him brontosaurus burgers when he was a kid because he liked dinosaurs and wouldn't eat them otherwise. I asked if he didn't know they were extinct. Apparently you can still get frozen dinosaur meat. who knew?

    Isn't that cute?

By Nate on Friday, April 25, 2003 - 01:55 pm:

    tell us more cute stories about sem!

By kazoo on Friday, April 25, 2003 - 02:15 pm:

    he sings songs to his cats about me, sometimes referring to me as kazoo instead of elizabeth.

By Antigone on Friday, April 25, 2003 - 02:25 pm:

    But...you are kazoo.

By Nate on Friday, April 25, 2003 - 04:15 pm:

    she meant elizabeth instead of kazoo.

By Nate on Friday, April 25, 2003 - 04:15 pm:

    she meant elizabeth instead of kazoo.

By Nate on Friday, April 25, 2003 - 04:16 pm:

    should i try that again? fucking stoners.

By Antigone on Friday, April 25, 2003 - 04:42 pm:

    But...you are Nate.

By Rattle2k on Friday, April 25, 2003 - 05:32 pm:

    Then who am I?

By Rowlf on Friday, April 25, 2003 - 06:05 pm:

    You are Neo

By Antigone on Friday, April 25, 2003 - 06:14 pm:

    No, I'm Spartacus!

By Rowlf on Friday, April 25, 2003 - 06:15 pm:

    I am Fart'n'cuss!

By wisper on Friday, April 25, 2003 - 07:25 pm:

    she meant elizabeth instead of kazoo.


    she meant elizabeth instead of kazoo.



    she meant elizabeth instead of kazoo.


    she meant elizabeth instead of kazoo.

By kazoo on Friday, April 25, 2003 - 07:38 pm:

    that makes me dizzy. and that's not what i meant.

By patrick on Friday, April 25, 2003 - 08:05 pm:

    that makes me dizzy. and that's not what i meant.

    that makes me dizzy. and that's not what i meant.

    that makes me meant. and that's not what i dizzy.

    that makes me dizzy. and that's not what i meant.

By Nate on Friday, April 25, 2003 - 08:51 pm:

    i'm michael corleone. this is my father.

By spunky on Friday, April 25, 2003 - 09:09 pm:

    I am Inigo Montoya, you killed my father. Prepare to die.

By Nate on Friday, April 25, 2003 - 10:15 pm:

    you're my older brother, and i love you, but don't ever take sides with anyone against the family again. ever.

By Rattle2k on Sunday, April 27, 2003 - 11:38 pm:

    I am the law

By semillama on Monday, April 28, 2003 - 11:17 am:

    I yam what I yam.

By Spider on Monday, April 28, 2003 - 11:39 am:

    I am the lost dauphin.

By sarah on Monday, April 28, 2003 - 12:20 pm:


    i am the fire starter.



By God on Monday, April 28, 2003 - 01:42 pm:

    I am the alpha and the omega.

By the tick on Monday, April 28, 2003 - 01:50 pm:

    naughty spawn, i am the tick.

By Spider on Monday, April 28, 2003 - 01:54 pm:

    Hee! I once had that line as my Windows start-up sound.

    I...AM...MIGHTY!

By wisper on Monday, April 28, 2003 - 03:01 pm:

    my windows start-up sound is Homer singing the Meow Mix song.

By Lapis on Monday, April 28, 2003 - 04:23 pm:

    Pump up the yam.

By Bigkev on Monday, April 28, 2003 - 07:19 pm:

    my shutdown sound is Cartman saying " augh, french people piss me off!"

By patrick on Monday, April 28, 2003 - 07:27 pm:

By wisper on Monday, April 28, 2003 - 07:46 pm:

    my shutdown sound is Stewie saying
    "Victory is mine!!.........(loud explosion)..AHHHH, DAMN YOU ALL!"

By kazoo on Monday, April 28, 2003 - 07:49 pm:

    wisper, i love your taste in animated fun

By Bigkev on Monday, April 28, 2003 - 07:59 pm:

    i heard on the radio that Family Guy is the highest rated cartoon among males 18-45.

    I was kind of suprised to hear that, but not shocked...

    I was interested to know that simpsons was 3rd (king of the hill 2nd)... but i guess after 13 years its bound to start slipping.

    Any news about new Family Guy episodes? or is it never coming back?

By semillama on Tuesday, April 29, 2003 - 10:40 am:

    Family Guy is my all-time favorite cartoon.

By Spider on Tuesday, April 29, 2003 - 11:29 am:

    Really?

    I'm surprised you guys like it so much -- the episodes I've seen seemed really forced and not funny. Maybe I caught it on some off episodes.

By semillama on Tuesday, April 29, 2003 - 01:08 pm:

    It totally meshes with my sense of humor. Especially the timing of the jokes. never failed.

    Now i'm going to have to go and buy it soon.

By wisper on Tuesday, April 29, 2003 - 07:20 pm:

    well, the DVD is selling out everywhere (i couldn't get it for a week, it was gone) maybe Fox will wake the hell up and realize that people did really watch that show and they fucked up bad when they canceled it.

    omg sem, you gotta. The creator guy Seth does commentary for 8 episodes, and since he does most of the lead male voices, he puts in what the character should have said.
    ie) Peter: "I swear to god Lois, if you don't shut up I'll back hand your ass so fucking fast.."

By agatha on Tuesday, April 29, 2003 - 10:00 pm:

    I'm with you, Spidey.

By spunky on Tuesday, April 29, 2003 - 10:07 pm:

    i hate it.

By eri on Tuesday, April 29, 2003 - 11:01 pm:

    I was bored. I just couldn't get into it. Maybe that is because the kids were up when it was on Fox and it wasn't something I want them to watch.

By wisper on Wednesday, April 30, 2003 - 12:03 am:

    i think the hardest i ever laughed at something on tv was on Family Guy.

    "wisper, i love your taste in animated fun"
    thank you kazoo. Cartoons are my life. I tweaked my entire education to put me somewhere with cartoons. You should see our house. It's shameful, really, like a freakin' toy store. I need to buy more shelves for it all.
    One day, when i know i'm somewhere long-term, i'll go crazy. Paint the walls like the backgrounds from SpongeBob and Samurai Jack.

By semillama on Wednesday, April 30, 2003 - 11:14 am:

    I had to go to three different places last night before I found it. Haven't watched it yet, but I am excited to see that there are episodes I haven't seen yet. I'm debating with myself whether to hold off watching it till Kazoo is here in 12 days...

By Rowlf on Wednesday, April 30, 2003 - 06:38 pm:

    Watch "Da Boom"

    its my fave.

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