| THIS IS A READ-ONLY ARCHIVE FROM THE SORABJI.COM MESSAGE BOARDS (1995-2016). |
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someday this will all be very funny. seriously. i'll be able to talk for an hour, non-stop twists and turns and comedy of error. you'll fall off your stool and spill your beer laughing. right now i went from reasonably relaxed to locked backneckjaw in a period of four hours. not right now, but two days ago. tonight i drive to scotts valley and pull a mattress and part of my kitchen out of storage and move back into the house in the mountains. tomorrow morning i drive an hour to fremont BART and take the train for 45 minutes into the city. rinse. repeat. the worst is over, though, i think. none of that up there is very bad. it is things-to-do. it is a list of steps. i do this then this then this and eventually the day will come when i can sit back in berkeley on a stoop in the sun with a guitar and a beer and a smile. but i've come so close to losing it. the fifteen year mortgage with payments i can no longer afford was supposed to be gone two days ago. monday i got a call from the title company telling me my homeowners insurance had been cancelled. i call the insurance agent, who tells me i'm getting a letter in the mail at some point, and then letter is going to say i'm losing my insurance because the house is vacant. can't get the refi without the insurance. and the agent can do nothing. she tells me to wait for the letter. except, i'm about to lose the new loan because it has to fund before the end of the month and when am i going to get this fucking letter and when i do get it what the hell is going to happen? so today i call the agent back and tell her i need the number of someone who can fix this. and she puts me on hold for a long time and i get a number. and i call it. and thank god jesus moses and everyone else it is a really nice guy. and he listens to my story and i tell him i'm moving back into the house tonight and he says no problem, i'll reinstate your insurance and call your agent. so all i have to worry about now is three and a half hours of commute each day. but an hour and a half of that is reading. which i'd like to spend an hour and a half doing each day anyway. all i have to worry about is waking up at 3am so i can get to work on time. all i have to worry about is a little bit more gas money, a little bit more BART money. this all started about a little over a year ago, a few weeks before my 29th birthday. it has been the most humbling year of my life. i get it, god. i really get it. and i see where it could get a hell of a lot worse, and i appreciate that it hasn't. and really, in a funny way, i'm really happy. in this very moment, i'm really happy. |
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and i don't mean pay rent and a mortgage. i mean crash at a friend's place. |