Not All Kiwi's Are Crazy!


sorabji.com: Reasons to be cheerful: Not All Kiwi's Are Crazy!
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By Kangaroo Jack on Wednesday, April 14, 2004 - 05:27 pm:

    Gun-toting granny Ava Estelle, 81, was so ticked-off when two thugs raped her 18-year-old granddaughter that she tracked the unsuspecting ex-cons down - - and shot off their testicles.

    The old lady spent a week hunting those men down -- and when she found them, she took revenge on them in her own special way, said Melbourne police investigator Evan Delp. Then she took a taxi to the nearest police station, laid the gun on the sergeant's desk and told him as calm as could be:

    'Those bastards will never rape anybody again, by God.' Cops say convicted rapist and robber Davis Furth, 33, lost both his penis and his testicles when outraged Ava opened fire with a 9-mm pistol in the hotel room where he and former prison cellmate Stanley Thomas, 29, were holed up.

    The wrinkled avenger also blew Thomas' testicles to kingdom come, but doctors managed to save his mangled penis, police said. The one guy, Thomas, didn't lose his manhood, but the doctor I talked to said he won't be using it the way he used to, Detective Delp told reporters. Both men are still in pretty bad shape, but I think they're just happy to be alive after what they've been through.

    The Rambo Granny swung into action August 21 after her granddaughter Debbie was carjacked and raped in broad daylight by two knife-wielding creeps in a section of town bordering on skid row. "When I saw the look on my Debbie's face that night in the hospital, I decided I was going to go out and get those bastards myself 'cause I figured the Law would go easy on them," recalled the retired library worker. "And I wasn't scared of them, either-- because I've got me a gun and I've been shootin' all my life. And I wasn't dumb enough to turn it in when the law changed about owning one."

    So, using a police artist's sketch of the suspects and Debbie's description of the sickos', tough-as-nails Ava spent seven days prowling the wino-infested neighborhood where the crime took place till she spotted the ill fated rapists entering their flophouse hotel.

    I knew it was them the minute I saw 'em, but I shot a picture of 'em anyway and took it back to Debbie and she said sure as hell, it was them, the oldster recalled.

    So I went back to that hotel and found their room and knocked on the door and the minute the big one, Furth, opened the door, I shot 'em right square between the legs, right where it would really hurt 'em most, you know.
    Then I went in and shot the other one as he backed up pleading to me to spare him. Then I went down to the police station and turned myself in.

    Now, baffled lawmen are trying to figure out exactly how to deal with the vigilante granny. What she did was wrong, and she broke the law, but it is difficult to throw an 81-year-old woman in prison, Det. Delp said, especially when 3 million people in the city want to nominate her for sainthood and a medal.


By wisper on Wednesday, April 14, 2004 - 06:23 pm:

    best grandma ever!


By moonit on Thursday, April 15, 2004 - 06:11 am:

    Uh Melbourne is in Australia. Australia would be the country about four hours AWAY from New Zealand.






    Fuckhead.


By jack on Thursday, April 15, 2004 - 09:43 am:

    that's not me, by the way.


By moonit on Thursday, April 15, 2004 - 05:18 pm:

    I knew it wasn't.

    I mean four hours by plane away.

    Yay its Friday and I have the day off!


By Antigone on Thursday, April 15, 2004 - 05:57 pm:

    Shit, I'm making that grandma an honorary Texan. :)


By TBone on Friday, April 16, 2004 - 11:54 am:

    I bet rape goes down in Australia for a few months now.
    .
    That's a real grandma.


By eri on Friday, April 16, 2004 - 12:33 pm:

    I have to say that I would sign a nomination for that granny to get an award. Sorry, for those offended. Those guys were convicted of rape in the past. It's not like this is their "first mistake" by any stretch. Go Granny.

    I think Kangaroo Jack was thinking that Kiwi was an Australian term, not New Zealand. I'll school him for ya!


By Antigone on Friday, April 16, 2004 - 01:14 pm:

    Offended? Who could you possibly offend here?

    She was probably justified shooting those guys, if the facts are right. She should still go to jail, though.


By The Watcher on Friday, April 16, 2004 - 01:52 pm:

    She probably will go to jail. :-(


By kazu on Friday, April 16, 2004 - 03:10 pm:

    Do they have house arrest there? For the crime alone, that's not adequate, but considering her age and the public sentiment, I think it would be fair.


By semillama on Friday, April 16, 2004 - 06:14 pm:

    I bet that granny has a steely gaze and chomps on thin cigarillos.


By J on Monday, April 19, 2004 - 03:24 am:

    And carries a big stick,in her honor,lets call her RAMBA!


By The Watcher on Monday, April 19, 2004 - 01:10 pm:

    Of course it would be really neet if she was brought to trial and was aquitted!!:-)

    Like the court room scene in "How to Murder Your Wife".


By The Watcher on Monday, April 19, 2004 - 01:19 pm:


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