Bacholors Lunch

sorabji.com: What are you eating?: Bacholors Lunch
THIS IS A READ-ONLY ARCHIVE FROM THE SORABJI.COM MESSAGE BOARDS (1995-2016).
By Skottey on Sunday, June 21, 1998 - 03:09 pm:
    Actually I am finished now but I had......
    1. watermelon and green grapes- fresh fruit mix, I made a big batch for the week, always do
    2. pringles cheezeEms
    3. can of tuna, straight from the can, hovering over the kitchen sink.
By Whet on Monday, June 22, 1998 - 11:39 am:
    Hey Skottey!
    No shit?
    Finished the fruit mix yesterday, but it came in a tub already cut up from the store.
    Here is can of chicken, straight from the can, hovering over the kitchen sink.
    LOLOL.....
By Skottey on Monday, June 22, 1998 - 12:47 pm:
    Im serious, I eat half my meals standing in the kitchen scarfing them down. I think I would give a wild dog a run for his money with speed eating too. On occasion I will sit down on my bar stool at the counter in the kitchen but I usually eat standing up. The reason I stand at the sink is too keep the crumbs and shit from the food from falling to the floor. After all, the less the cleanup the better. It leaves me more time to masturbate and post comments to these boards.
By Whet on Thursday, June 25, 1998 - 12:17 am:
    I like having one spoon, one coffee cup, one cereal bowl, one big pot.
    [from my bachelor days ahhhhh]
    (not that I only have that now, actually have enough shit to open our own kitchen ware store)
    But I think most any meal can be concocted in that amount of hardware.

    Oh my. I just realized I didn't have an orgasm (that means masterbate) at all today.
    And its after midnight so just gonna have to wait until tomorrow.
    Oh well.
By Whet on Friday, June 26, 1998 - 10:35 pm:
    Thats what pets are for.
    Clean up the crumbs.
    I've got five varying degrees of floor sweepers here.
    3 dogs and 2 cats.
    Though the cats hardly ever touch the floor.
    They prefer to navigate along the tops of furniture, lamps, doors, whatever quickly pouncing away just before the pile of whatever shit they landed on falls to the floor.
By Skottey on Friday, June 26, 1998 - 11:13 pm:
    I have one cat too. He has been living outside for the last four months or so, he NEVER comes inside anymore. When I first moved in this apartment I was sitting at my computer doing my thing when I heard a squirting noise, I looked to my right towards the bed and sat here watching as the cat shit all over the comforter on the bed.

    I turned to him and said "this is the end my friend, you are otta here"

    I put his food and water dish out by the front door, when he is hungry or thirsty he meows at the door, I feed and water him then.

    It is really weird, he used to be dark grayish, now he is light grayish, must be from the sun, you know, being outside all day.

By Whet on Sunday, June 28, 1998 - 12:15 am:
    When we first got the HUGE hound dog from my bro - were afraid he would run away the first day, so locked him inside the house when we went to the store.

    He DIDN"T want to stay inside, so he scratched up both outside doors, KNOCKED over furniture, ultimately took his nose and broke OUT the windows in the living room, I'm talking even the little wood strips between the window panes. Took out 3-4 glass panes and the wood.

    But he must have given up after that cause he was still inside when we got home.
    (btw somehow he didn't get injured at all with all the glass - must have used his nose and feet or something. )

    But whats was so funny, is I didn't have enough glass panes to fix all the holes, and needed to make wood styles? to replace the broken ones, so put back in a couple of panes and used some cardboard to temp cover the other.

    THEN the cats discovered the cardboard covered pane portion, and decided they would rip THROUGH the cardboard to get outside.

    I didn't notice the first day or so, behind the curtain, and until I saw a CAT come bolting THROUGH the window had no idea it was their new adventure in i/e-gress ion?
    (something like that)

    So ultimately, I put in a piece of plexiglass, a rubber flap to keep out drafts, and now have two VERY happy cats, NO litter box, and a permanent kitty door.

    Works like a charm.

    Animals don't 'like' to shit in the house. Just when they have no other choice or their litter box is full or they are really pissed at something.
    Thats been my experience.
By Skottey on Sunday, June 28, 1998 - 03:36 am:
    I think my cat Morris likes the outdoors, it was really fucked up. I live near the Hillsborough River and there is this really cool park. Morris often follows me to the park and around as I take my nightly walk.

By Jim aka PajamaBoy on Sunday, June 28, 1998 - 06:47 am:
    I have an indoor cat. She's four years old. Has never been an outdoor cat. The 1st two years I had her I had horiffic flea problems during the summer months. Can anyone explain how a non-outdoors cat catches fleas? And catches them BAD? And why would anyone want a cat that trounces about outside to bring fleas inside? Answer me that Whet.

    Skottey do you feed your cat inside the door or outside?

    Whet you are SO right about indoor "litter box" cats doing there stuff outside the litter box. When I first got her, my skill of cleaning the litter box in a timely manner was not perfectly honed. So one night as I went to lay down to bed I was laying there and I thought, "Wow, I'm sweating." Then I smelled it. That little hussy had pissed right dead in the center of my pillow. Luckily I had my own in apartment washer and dryer, so off came the sheets, into the washer with the pillow, and then into the shower went I. All of this of course AFTER I cleaned out the box, and profusely apologized to the kitty.

    Cats are VERY smart. They know how to get your attention.
By Skottey on Sunday, June 28, 1998 - 11:32 am:
    Pissed on your pillow, that is funny. HAHA

    Morris used to be an inside cat and the house always seemed to stink. It doesn't matter how clean a person is (and I am extremely clean) you cannot get rid of the smell of cat piss in the house. Morris was never fixed, he sprayed all over every apartment I ever had. He was good abou the litter box but that stunk too.

    When I moved in this apartment I declared enough is enough, he splattered that shit on my bed and he has been outside ever since. He seems to like it a lot. The good thing about Florida is that he can stay out all year round and he will be fine. It gets hot here in the summer but he can lay in the shade and I am always refreshing his water. I would never want to leave a cat outside in a Michigan winter.

    Morris eats outside, his dishes are right next to my front door. It is kind of tacky but the land lady doesn't seem to mind.

    Jim, Did you ever get the piss smell out of your pillow/ pillow case?
By Jim aka PajamaBoy on Sunday, June 28, 1998 - 01:50 pm:
    Skottey: Yes.
By Whet on Tuesday, June 30, 1998 - 09:18 pm:
    Well I guess you'd say I'm one with the animals.
    With 3 dogs and 2 cats that tend to come and go in and out (stay out most of the time in the spring/summer and come inside to eat/nap. Stay inside a lot in the winter) its really not that bad.

    I have several of these devices from happy jack with a little light bulb and sticky paper that attracts any wayward fleas and sticks them to the paper. No chemicals to spray, have tried everything and really didn't like it much - so tried these flea traps and they work like a CHARM. When they get dusty/not sticky or full of bugs (also good for catching any spiders, crickets, and other critters that would be attracted to a nice cozy warm light at night) just toss them in teh trash and uncover another sticky sheet. Only prob is the dogs initially have to get used to flopping down and swishing their TAIL into the sticky paper. Takes em a while to get it off - quite amusing to watch but they usually tear up the sticky paper and its not really cheap, but rather effective.

    Oh yea - I live out in the country at the end of a long gravel driveway so them going outside is not a problem. No leash law or anything, all the dogs/cats run loose in the neighborhood. Never really a problem. They work out their territories, their own little groups and pretty much stay out of trouble. Cept for puppies, they *always* get into trouble, but no one cares thats just part of the learning process.

    Almost all my neighbors have dogs/cats and others larger livestock so its a pretty friendly place to live. Just hot as HELL this time of year.

    I've heard of other people doing the same thing with a desk lamp, low wattage bulb, and a pan of soapy water. The fleas are attracted to the warmth and light and jump over and end up drowning in the soapy water (no surface tension to float on so sink) I believe that would work fine but with a 120 lb dog running around from time to time a pan of soapy water on the floor is NOT a good idea. So the sticky traps work well for me.

    Winter is not a real problem with fleas. Just the summer.

    Oh and CATS do bring in more than fleas.
    I've seen them bring in:
    Birds, live and dead.
    Mice, large n small.
    Ground squirrels.
    BATS
    and last but definately not least, as I was surprised to find in the BATH TUB at 3am one night....
    SNAKES.
    (just little ones though, not longer than a foot)
    :)
By Skottey on Wednesday, July 1, 1998 - 01:59 am:
    Morris had a brother named Felix, he was killed around Christmas of 96.

    I used to live in Saint Petersburg, Florida. We lived off of First Avenue South, which is a 4 lane one way street that goes from the Gulf of Mexico to downtown in one straight shot. The speed limit on this road was about 35 MPH, it was not at all uncommon to see people speeding through this residential strip at 75 or 80 MPH. I myself would usually drive 55-60 down the road. I remember one time waking up to about 100 Harley Davidson Motorcycles passing by at 9AM on a Sunday Morning. They must have been on one of their little tours.

    Morris and Felix were inside cats at the time but they would often sneak out when the door was opened. Sometimes they would hide behind the furniture and dash out. Neither had been fixed and they both wanted (needed) to get laid. At times they would be gone for a week at a time. I often saw the late Felix in the street, just standing there.

    I remember all the dead cats found along the streets every morning. Every morning I saw at least 1 dead cat. The city would just come by and pick up the corpse. Everytime I saw these corpses I would stop and look and make sure it wasn't my cat.

    Although I never found the remains of poor Felix, it is unsettling to think that he was struck by a car and killed.
By Kim aka SF1 on Sunday, July 19, 1998 - 03:03 am:
    Skottey -
    thought I was the only one who ate Tuna straight from the can...glad to know I have company!
    Do you have a preference? Personally I like Chunk White, packed in water. Bumble Bee.
By DARRIN on Sunday, July 19, 1998 - 04:12 am:
    Kim, the tuna that I had in mind doesn't come in a can!heheh It's sometimes referred to as RED SNAPPER!hehehh And it smells just as bad!hehh But that bad smell all MEN can live with!hehehe As for eating the other tuna (heh) straight from the can!? Come now...TUNA is nothing without heaps of MAYO, ONIONS, and LETTUCE!!
By Skottey on Thursday, July 23, 1998 - 09:18 pm:
    I buy what ever is on sale at the time I go shopping. I prefer the white stuff (packed in water) and I love to eat it straight from the can. The Dark meat is better packed in oil and makes for a good sandwich. I don't regularly eat the dark meat straight from the can.
    I like the Starkist brand.
By Liam on Monday, July 27, 1998 - 05:56 pm:
    My cat, a female, has the annoying habit of pissing on the backs of doors. The door where her litter box is has been pissed on so much that she has warped the wood around the hinge and now it won't close properly. I go through literally gallons of "Nature's Miracle" to get rid of the odor, but, as you all know, there's only so much one can do. I would put my cat outside but the previous owners declawed her. I still lover her though and she sleeps on top of me, but if she ever pissed on my bed, she would be persona non grata.
By PetRock on Monday, July 27, 1998 - 11:31 pm:
    My ex's cat has lately taken to shiting on his rug (and once right in the middle of his bed). That cat is on her 7th or 8th life right about now....
By Jim aka PajamaBoy on Tuesday, July 28, 1998 - 07:59 am:
    My cat has pissed my bed twice. Both times my fault. I did not change the litter box as I should have.

    1st time, she was still a little tiny ball of hair. 4 months old. I went to go to bed, and I layed down and SQUISH. She had pissed Lake Erie on my pillow.

    2nd time. She got locked in my bedroon. Her litter box is in the basement. She did it again. THis time at the end of the bed.

    I am now quite religious in keeping her box fresh.
By Skottey on Wednesday, April 7, 1999 - 01:34 pm:

    ..............still eating tuna straight from the can. In fact, I ate a can for lunch today!

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