Pop Tarts...cruel joke or toxic treat???


sorabji.com: What are you eating?: Pop Tarts...cruel joke or toxic treat???
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By Mai Tai Hooverhead on Tuesday, September 1, 1998 - 06:12 pm:

    Recently sated a little bit of childhood nostalgia by picking up a box of pop tarts (the frosted brown sugar ones)...not bad. I guess it manages too fill some type of abstract culinary void.

    But you know, I got to thinking about something after I popped one out of the toaster while tossing the little piping-hot fucker back and forth between my hands to hold down the heat.

    While observing this triple-degree farenheit lump of sugar and carbohydrate (vitamin enriched no less!!), I couldn't help but notice that we're obviously not dealing with normal frosting here 'cause the "frosting" showed no signs of distress...no melting, lumping, dripping, gooing...nothing.

    How can this be?? Someone please enlighten me.


    ...I am very

    . . . con
    . c .
    ... .. e
    .... rn
    . .. . e
    . . . d>>>>

    (((PL e a s e~~~~~~~~& HELP
    ##no I I I
    ye ss ys

    ((((((((((((((((((THE)))))))))))
    (((((ROOM)))) (((IS)))))
    (((BEGINNING)))))))))))))))))TO))))
    ((((((((((F)))E))EEL))))))))))))))
    (((VERY)))))

    ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((S))))))))))
    ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((T))))))))))
    ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((R))))))))))
    ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((A))))))))))
    ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((N))))))))))
    ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((G))))))))))
    ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((E))))))))))


By Gargamel on Wednesday, September 2, 1998 - 03:22 am:

    Mai Tai,

    LOL!!!!! ya killin' me!!!!


By Carrie Ann on Wednesday, September 2, 1998 - 12:48 pm:

    *Shrugs* I dunno. Same reason twinkies (& cockroaches) will survive the nuclear holocaust?


By Starchy on Wednesday, September 2, 1998 - 03:48 pm:

    Twinkies aren't even baked-not-fried. Concocted, I say.


By Carrie Ann on Wednesday, September 2, 1998 - 07:11 pm:

    I prefer to be baked not fried, myself.



By Blathering Blurbowtski on Thursday, September 3, 1998 - 06:03 pm:

    Sometime maybe even both...

    Ya' ever been microwaved?


By Sheila on Thursday, September 3, 1998 - 08:38 pm:

    Twinkies, Pop Tarts, all those things are extruded. Look it up.


By Slacker on Friday, September 4, 1998 - 04:50 am:

    i've been both fried and baked, but never microwaved. although, i do recall being extruded at some point.
    does this qualify me as a tasty snack.


By Starchy on Friday, September 4, 1998 - 12:11 pm:

    extrusion != tasty


By Carrie Ann on Friday, September 4, 1998 - 07:18 pm:

    Actually only been baked 2 times (twice baked! you know.. like those potatoes?) and never fried. Microwaved... hrmm now that would be an experience. Anyone wanna try it with me? I just got a new big microwave so we can do it at my house first and then someone elses next week. It'll be loads of fun, kidz! C'mon everyones doin it! Don't be a loser.

    *Looks @ Starchy and lix her lips* Snacky cakes, mmmm... tasty


By Whet on Friday, September 4, 1998 - 08:57 pm:

    Pop tarts are in a way special to me, not just from eating them as a kid, but from the first time I went to see a friend. The visit was wonderful - could go on and on about that in itself, but the point being I had to go home and it was a 1000+ mile 24 hour drive and everyone got up early monday morning and they had to go to work and I had to start my drive, and I really didn't want to go cause they were such great people and it was so beautiful there and my friend was so incredible, and she knew it was difficult for me to go, and on the way out the door that morning she handed me a package of poptarts and a diet coke.
    I got in my car and we all pulled out and they led me to the interstate to my exit, and when they waved bye and rounded the corner I felt the tears welling up in my eyes. I'm glad I hit a traffic jam cause soon I couldn't see to drive for the tears.
    I looked down, and then I saw the pop tarts.
    I opened the pack, took a little bite, took a little sip of the coke, and things were just a little bit better then in the world.
    In my mind I could see us standing in the kitchen and the box of pop tarts, and I felt a little smile, and that made all the difference.
    :)


By Slacker on Saturday, September 5, 1998 - 04:03 am:

    it's because kellogs is drugging the damn things, causing us to crave them fortnightly.


By Whet on Saturday, September 5, 1998 - 07:47 am:

    must....

    have....

    POPTART

    ARRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!!!
    ;-)


By Carrie Ann on Saturday, September 5, 1998 - 03:55 pm:

    Hehe, Whet dearie, I love you! Your stories/posts are wonderful. Which doesn't surprise me as they are coming from such a wonderful person. *smile*
    (Btw, I got your mail and WILL respond to it ASAP)

    And darnit now I want a poptart too!! Mmmmm... oozy-gooey fruity goodness sandwhiched nicely between two semi-chewy pastries, frosted & sprinkled to perfection. *teehee*


By Kermitt on Saturday, September 5, 1998 - 06:00 pm:

    With an extreme hunger for lushous pop tarts I do Write you today. Oh how I have been a Pop Tart Voyeur since the topic started so few days ago, normally i sit in the shadows...reading, but now this Craving for pop tarts have driven me a bit insane, well I was insane before, but this pushed my psychosis upward and onward...

    So at last I ran to the store, flew past squads of police cars, sliced my way through a boyscott car wash giving them all a merit badge in the skill of ducking, and hoping; past a retirement home cross guard whom obviously did not understand the holy task before me granted to me by the Holy Pop Tart God, and to the Local Grocer who was we...out. He did have generic pop tart items.....so I took him hostage....ransomed him off to next grocery store for one box of wonderful and fulfilling Brown Sugar Pop Tarts. Isn't life wonderful somedays.


By Doughboy on Thursday, September 24, 1998 - 04:21 am:

    pilsbury strudels!

    you will be assimilated!!!!!!!

    resistance is futile!!!!!


By Ricki-Ticki on Wednesday, October 7, 1998 - 12:55 pm:

    no melting, lumping, dripping, gooing.

    Pop Tarts are actually a combinaion of high-polymer resin, often used in mending Prosthetic limbs moving parts.

    2-to a pack, could be the difference betwwen tying a simple knot, or languishing at the edge of your desk asking for help.

    Thanks to the overmind for Pop-tart polymer-resin.

    Ricki Ticki


By NZAngel on Wednesday, October 7, 1998 - 04:20 pm:

    I can proudly say that I Never Tried Pop Tarts.

    In fact, in this backwards little corner of the world, they've only been available for about two years.

    I might have to get some tho I haven't seen brown sugar flavour in the supermarket though. Only strawberry and apple and apricot (not all together).


By PetRock on Wednesday, October 7, 1998 - 10:49 pm:

    They now offer Pop Tarts in the vending machines at work.

    Some kind of global conspiracy at work I guess.

    *What Were They Thinking Flavor Of The Month: Watermelon Pop Tarts.


By Ocarina Twiddler on Friday, October 9, 1998 - 01:46 pm:

    Bubblegum flavor would be nice...


By Me on Saturday, October 10, 1998 - 05:27 am:

    As Ajax would say...."Mmmmmm. Full of plasticy goodness!"


By Whet on Saturday, October 10, 1998 - 03:18 pm:

    I confess.

    Haven't had a poptart in a little over a year when a friend handed me a pack for the road with a diet coke, and recently I bought a box, and ate the entire box in two days.

    I did manage to get them hot enough in the toaster oven to slightly bubble the frosting.

    I wish I had a 55 gallon drum of the stuff, to pour on my roof to stop the leaks and be a lovely festive color, to be known as the poptart house in the country.


By Little debbie on Sunday, February 14, 1999 - 07:10 pm:

    it's gelatin...the magical animal ingredient also used to make snowballs..those coconutty treats dyed to match the current holiday. and probably polymer resin too


By Gee on Tuesday, February 16, 1999 - 06:45 am:

    ~~~RE: waybackwhen post about twinkies and roaches surviving the nuclear holocaust.~~~

    darn!! I should have known The Bottomfeeder wasn't keen enough to think that joke up himself!

    I've never seen these notes before, so I'm allowed to wade through posts from the middle of last year...give me a break...


By Bree on Tuesday, April 18, 2006 - 02:03 am:

    Ahh I loved Watermelon poptarts!

    lol @ the fact that this post is being made years later.


By Nikki on Wednesday, May 3, 2006 - 11:29 pm:

    wow it has been a long time ....woooosh

    this person had a cool lookin poptart n i dont no wat flavor it is....im so sad =.(


By Jamie on Wednesday, May 3, 2006 - 11:29 pm:

    yeah n i dont think i ver had a watermelon poptart....


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