An Ice Cream Sandwich


sorabji.com: What are you eating?: An Ice Cream Sandwich
THIS IS A READ-ONLY ARCHIVE FROM THE SORABJI.COM MESSAGE BOARDS (1995-2016).

By Gee on Wednesday, September 15, 1999 - 05:04 pm:

    Nature's most perfect food.


By Nate on Wednesday, September 15, 1999 - 05:47 pm:

    aside from Klamath Falls Blue-Green Algae


By Pamela on Wednesday, September 15, 1999 - 06:41 pm:

    yummmmmmmmm


By Rhiannon on Wednesday, September 15, 1999 - 06:43 pm:

    Is that spirulina?


By Nate on Wednesday, September 15, 1999 - 06:52 pm:

    ya


By Gee on Thursday, September 16, 1999 - 02:16 am:

    No.

    Ice cream sandwich = nature's most perfect food.

    This is not a debate. I have spoken.


By Nate on Thursday, September 16, 1999 - 12:30 pm:


By Pamela on Thursday, September 16, 1999 - 12:49 pm:

    I want some ice cream...


By Swine on Thursday, September 16, 1999 - 01:07 pm:

    bang!

    bang! bang! bang!


    you're all dead.

    see how that works?

    one minute you're eating ice cream and the next you're pushing up daisies.

    welcome to america.

    enjoy your stay.


By Pamela on Thursday, September 16, 1999 - 01:27 pm:

    *giggle*

    That seems inappropriate of me right now, I know, but I couln't help it...


By Swine on Thursday, September 16, 1999 - 01:35 pm:

    what's up with that?

    dead chicks don't "*giggle*"

    you're supposed to just lie there and gurgle and twitch or something.

    damn.


By J on Thursday, September 16, 1999 - 01:55 pm:

    Call 911!!


By MapleLeaf on Thursday, September 16, 1999 - 01:59 pm:

    Just called 911....you didn't answer....damn my luck!!!


By Waffles on Thursday, September 16, 1999 - 02:02 pm:

    finish the Job MAN!!!!!!!!!


By Pink on Thursday, September 16, 1999 - 04:13 pm:

    DO IT!!!!!!


By Swine on Thursday, September 16, 1999 - 05:02 pm:

    to hell with that, man.

    i'm not gonna waste my time shootin' motherfuckers if they're just gonna giggle after i bust caps in their ass.

    i mean, damn. that just takes all the fun out of it.

    fucking ingrates.

    i'm outta here.


By Gee on Friday, September 17, 1999 - 04:59 am:

    I think you guys have all missed my point.

    This is not about killing, or giggling, or algae...it's about me and my love of ice cream sandwiches. The only thing left in life that I can depend on, is that I will ever enjoy my ice cream sandwich. Can any of you say that about your killing or your giggling or your algae? I think not.


By Pamela on Friday, September 17, 1999 - 11:42 am:

    I will always enjoy my giggling... It's what keeps me sane... well, other than ice cream sandwiches ; )

    *giggle*


By Pink on Friday, September 17, 1999 - 01:43 pm:

    Swine, we have another "giggler".

    [ everyone stand back ]


By Pamela on Friday, September 17, 1999 - 02:09 pm:

    ummm... I think I am the same giggler...

    but I like to giggle. it's fun! i'd really like to laugh my ass off, but no one has said anything to make me do so yet...

    waiting patiently...


By Pink on Friday, September 17, 1999 - 02:22 pm:

    What did one lesbian frog say to the other lesbian frog?










    You're right, it does taste like chicken!


By Fetidbeaver_aka_tunapuss on Friday, September 17, 1999 - 02:34 pm:

    What does a lesbian use a can of tuna for?



    POTPOURRI !!!!


By Pink on Friday, September 17, 1999 - 02:42 pm:

    Jeeeesus christ, Beave, I'm hacking because that was so HILARIOUS!

    more, more, more!


By Fetidbeaver on Friday, September 17, 1999 - 03:13 pm:

    Q. Why do Sumo wrestlers shave their legs?

    A. They don't want to be mistaken as lesbians.

    baaaadaaaaboooom


By MapleLeaf on Friday, September 17, 1999 - 03:16 pm:

    ROFLMAO


By Fetidbeaver on Friday, September 17, 1999 - 03:36 pm:

    Q. How do you know if your house was built by lesbians.

    A. All tongue and groove, no studs.


By Fetidbeaver on Friday, September 17, 1999 - 03:38 pm:

    Q. If gay men die of AIDS, what kills lesbians.

    A. HAIRBALLS


By Jinafishes on Friday, September 17, 1999 - 05:13 pm:

    You guys are sillyheads.


By Rhiannon on Friday, September 17, 1999 - 05:18 pm:

    I've been told there are some guys at Haverford (College, up the street) who are afraid to come on our campus because they think we're all (direct quote) "man-eating lesbians in steel-toed boots."

    They're AFRAID. Hee hee!


By Fetidbeaver on Friday, September 17, 1999 - 05:45 pm:

    I thought lesbians didn't eat man meat.....


By 0011 on Friday, September 17, 1999 - 05:57 pm:

    "pinkys out"

    "something to cleanse the palate please, some sorbet'. . . ."


By Rhiannon on Friday, September 17, 1999 - 06:11 pm:

    Oh, yes. Soaked in a nice marinade, roasted on a spit...that's called Sunday dinner.

    Sorbet? No, but we do have strawberries and cream.


By Rhiannon on Friday, September 17, 1999 - 06:54 pm:

    Sorry, I didn't mean that as an innuendo, either. We really do have strawberries and cream at our teas here.


By Gee on Friday, September 17, 1999 - 07:20 pm:

    Alright that's it. This is your last warning before I release the hounds. Take your jokes and giggles (damn gigglers think you're so cute. I snort when I laugh. Anybody got a problem with that???) and go back to your own threads. We don't need your kind here. If you have nothing further to add on the situation of ice cream sandwichs, then the door is over there. Hup hup hup!!!


By Rhiannon on Friday, September 17, 1999 - 07:30 pm:

    I had an ice cream sandwich today. It was good. I hate it when the chocolate sandwich part gets on your fingers. Don't you?


By Fetidbeaver on Friday, September 17, 1999 - 09:48 pm:

    I know a good use for the fudge topping, and yes, the lesbians can do it too.


By Gee on Saturday, September 18, 1999 - 04:16 am:

    Oh no, I love when the chocolate cookie sticks to my fingers. Then when I've had my last bite of ice cream sandwich there's this little surprise of cookie stickin's on my fingers that I can joyfully suck off. It's a nice happy ending to the epic of the ice cream sandwich.


By Swine on Saturday, September 18, 1999 - 04:42 am:

    i got a nice bit of chocolate surprise that you can joyfully...










    oh yeah. that's right.

    i was about to go pass out.


By Nelly on Saturday, September 18, 1999 - 12:07 pm:

    Meditation on ice cream sandwiches.

    Sometimes the ice cream sandwich is frozen so hard you can't bite into it. You need to wait. But you can't wait, so you bite off chunks and it freezes your teeth and you chew it like a piece of steak, until it melts in your mouth and becomes ice cream sandwich.

    Sometimes the ice cream sandwich isn't hard enough, When you bite into it, the ice cream squirts out from between the cookies and gets all over your fingers.

    Sometimes the ice cream sandwich is just right.

    Eating an ice cream sandwich in the car on the way to work. Trying to peel the paper just right, so you can take bite after bite, avoid contact with the sticky side of the paper, and lay the strips of paper sticky side up on the car seat. Hoping the traffic will be right so you will have opportunities to finish the sandwich before it becomes a melted, gooey mass that drips on your work clothes. Succeeding. Failing.

    Knowing that there is a box of 6 ice cream sandwiches in the freezer.

    Knowing that there are some ice cream sandwiches left in the freezer, but not knowing exactly how many.

    Wondering if someone has eaten the last ice cream sandwich yet.

    Eating the last ice cream sandwich.


By Rhiannon on Saturday, September 18, 1999 - 12:16 pm:

    Poetry!


By Gee on Saturday, September 18, 1999 - 05:09 pm:

    (sniffle) Nelly, people like you are the reason I start Ice Cream Sandwich threads. Bravo!!


By Cyst on Sunday, September 19, 1999 - 05:01 am:

    I like those it's it ice cream treats from san francisco. one summer I noticed that the vanilla was made with real vanilla.

    so good.


By MoonIt on Sunday, September 19, 1999 - 05:02 am:

    you cant beat jelly tip icecream.

    the Grump bought 10 litres of it.

    Its almost better than chocolate.

    mmmmmm. Ice cream


By Waffles on Monday, September 20, 1999 - 03:19 pm:

    green tea ice cream YAAAAAAAAYYYYYY!!!!!


By Nate on Thursday, September 23, 1999 - 03:50 pm:

    It's Its are the shit.

    there is no better ice cream sandwich.

    and if any so cal freak starts going off on that crap with the chocolate chips on the outside, i'm going to break some kneecaps.


By Waffles on Thursday, September 23, 1999 - 04:43 pm:

    i think i am the only so cal freak here and i must so I don't haqve a clue what ITS are....i gave those up with Push-Ups in elementary school



By Rhiannon on Thursday, September 23, 1999 - 05:20 pm:

    Push-ups! I used to have those every Friday in elementary school. They were yummy.


By Nate on Thursday, September 23, 1999 - 05:51 pm:

    chipwich. that's what the lame so cal It's It is called.

    god i hate the southland.


By Nate on Thursday, September 23, 1999 - 05:51 pm:

    chipwich. that's what the lame so cal It's It is called.

    god i hate the southland.


By Waffles on Thursday, September 23, 1999 - 05:52 pm:

    strange orange, psty things pushed into a ...well.....push up....yes they were delicious but it was alwasy such a disapointment to find yourself licking the plastic bottom....furiosuly i might add with the hopes of last taste of that strange orange cold pasty shit.......kids eat the strangest things, better yet they make the strangest things for kids to eat, fruit roll ups, the various cereals, ice creams and ice cream by products......


By Fetidbeaver on Thursday, September 23, 1999 - 05:58 pm:

    Kids eat strange things, huh??? How about adults and their beaver snacks. Did you ever dream in first grade that you would eat that someday? :)


By Waffles on Thursday, September 23, 1999 - 06:09 pm:

    yes, as a matter of fact yes I did...


By Fetidbeaver on Thursday, September 23, 1999 - 06:15 pm:

    hmmmm....oh really now,
    Hell when I was in first grade we didn't even know it was there. We all thought that the girls peed out their buttholes when they squated down.


By Rhiannon on Thursday, September 23, 1999 - 06:27 pm:

    *ahem*

    Our push-ups were just vanilla ice cream with chocolate syrup miraclously ensconced in the center. They looked kind of like hypodermic syringes. I don't know what ungodly creation you were eating, Waffles.


By Fetidbeaver on Thursday, September 23, 1999 - 06:45 pm:

    He's talking about the cardboard tube with a plastic stick/plunger that pushed out orange sherbert





    p.s. they don't pee out their buttholes.


By Rhiannon on Thursday, September 23, 1999 - 07:05 pm:

    What did you mean by "we all thought..."? Did you actually discuss this with your little friends? Boys are weird.


By Waffles on Thursday, September 23, 1999 - 07:19 pm:

    well it's not like Captain Kangroo had episodes diagraming the female anatomy. I have to admit I though this as well or something similar at one point or another. But then again I thought sex was jsut laying on top of girl naked too


By Fetidbeaver on Thursday, September 23, 1999 - 07:31 pm:

    Yes we discussed it, argued it, debated it.


By Rhiannon on Thursday, September 23, 1999 - 07:59 pm:

    Funny...we spent our time arguing over who got to be the captain when we played pirates, or which one of us was going to be Cyndi Lauper and which one was going to be Madonna (Madonna was the coveted role). I don't remember thinking about boys at all.


By Fb on Thursday, September 23, 1999 - 08:38 pm:

    Sorry, I must be old. When Cyndi Lauper etc. were popular we were fucking the girls and didn't need to debate it any longer


By Swine on Thursday, September 23, 1999 - 08:41 pm:

    in kindergarten, i got elizabeth haan to "show me hers" underneath the back stairs of her house while her mom was in the kitchen making brownies.

    she pulled up her shirt and pointed to her nipples and said "this is where my boobies are gonna be!"

    that's one of my most vivid memories of childhood.

    she also showed me the little pink button that she peed out of, but i liked her butt better.


By Cyst on Thursday, September 23, 1999 - 08:47 pm:

    did you show her yours?


By Swine on Thursday, September 23, 1999 - 09:11 pm:

    probably.

    i dunno. i don't remember.


By Rhiannon on Thursday, September 23, 1999 - 09:25 pm:

    I learned in an anthro class that one theory about why men like breasts so much is that they remind men of the ass. How this was supposed to make sense, I don't know.


By Sister on Thursday, September 23, 1999 - 10:36 pm:

    imagine if asses had nipples on them..... i don't really know what i'd do if i saw an ass with a nipple on it... i'd probably cry.


By Fetidbeaver on Thursday, September 23, 1999 - 11:37 pm:

    Would an ass nipple give chocolate milk?


By Antigone on Thursday, September 23, 1999 - 11:42 pm:

    I'm agnostic, but at this point I must say...

    God help us all.


By Fetidbeaver on Thursday, September 23, 1999 - 11:55 pm:

    I don't buy the ass/tit theory.
    The ass is the first thing I check out, and I hate big breasts. Anything more than an itty bitty titty repulses me. My theory is that when you start your "sexual awakening" some things in your enviornment make an impact on your future turn ons. When I was little I played doctor with a neighbor girl who had a little heart shaped ass and tiny tits. She would usually wear cut-off jeans that crept up her ass or white painter's pants so tight that you could see the black pubic hair shadow and she always had the camel toe up front. Now if we walk down the street and a girl walks by wearing those items my wife just rolls her eyes and says "go ahead and look you know you want to"


By Pink on Friday, September 24, 1999 - 12:28 am:

    I didn't get the "show me your's, I'll show you mine" treatment. We had to pay to see the bald beaver...only a nickel though( times were easier back in the 70's ). The other 2 guys got busted by their mothers after Wendy's mom notified them. She must have had a thing for me due to her sparing me. I walked away clean.


By Fetidbeaver on Friday, September 24, 1999 - 01:18 am:

    A nickel! That's what we used and it was in the 70's for me also. We started out with the "give you a nickel to see it" then "give you a nickel to poke it with a stick" then "give you a nickel to touch it with my finger" then "give you a nickel to touch it with my weiner" then right as I'm doing that Mr. Campbell catches us and sends us running. That's probably why today I like sex in places where I could easily get caught. (with cheap women :o) LOL )

    p.s. a nickel then bought a candy bar or a few hours of "doctor" with the neighbor girl Pam ____.


By Pink on Friday, September 24, 1999 - 03:08 am:

    Fetid--What do you think it'd be worth today to "see & poke" with those under the age of ten? Factor in inflation, GNP, prime lending rate and all that other shit.

    I'm thinking about $23.67


By Gee on Friday, September 24, 1999 - 03:32 am:

    I can't beleive what you people have done to my ice cream sandwich thread!! Take your smut elsewhere, you degenerits!!

    I love oreo ice cream sandwich's more than I can ever say.

    Antigone - I know what an athiest is. What exactly is an agnostic? Usually when I hear someone use the word, they seem to mean athiest.



    I get to read "Antigone" for my humanities class. Does this mean I'll have some new insight to your character?


By Fetidbeaver on Friday, September 24, 1999 - 05:46 am:

    Webster's defines agnostic as one who holds the view that any ultimate reality is unkown and probably unkowable. Noncommital, undogmatic.

    I was taught that an agnostic is a person who believes that there is a supreme force but doesn't know what it is. I have heard alot of other interpetations.

    As far as what that nickel genitalia show would cost today. I guess I would say the nickel bought one candy bar then so in todays money it would be about 70 cents. You can test this theory by going to work today and asking all the 30'ish women to show you their pussy for 70 cents. Let me know how you come out on this little project. :o)


By Fetidbeaver on Friday, September 24, 1999 - 05:52 am:

    I just reread your posting. You asked what it would be worth today to see and poke with those under the age of ten. Well to tell you the truth I really don't have any desire for that at this age. For those who do though, I would guess it's worth 5-10 years in most states. Good luck.


By J on Friday, September 24, 1999 - 10:28 am:

    I love to start off on a good mood in the morning,thanks F.B.,for making me spew my coffee.


By Waffles on Friday, September 24, 1999 - 12:18 pm:

    we have similar taste Beav. See pics of wife to confirm. Heart shaped asses, small breasts, curvy hips........I tend to buy a little Freud when it comes to our fascinationwith breasts AND also (as painful as it may be) our likes and dislikes in women. Just out of curiosity, look at the object of your affeection, and then look at your mother, see any similarities? Perhaps this could be a generalization for most but i don't beleieve Freud was totally fanatical.

    And yeah I never had to pay, I was slicker with my words. ANd I had balls too, I did the show me yours/show you mine thing right in the middle of this girl's driveway. I think i have told this story before so I will spare the details. It's a rite of passage I think. Kids are curious. As long as nothing is forced I believe it to be totally innocent. Hell wouldn't that be great if that were a common and accepted pick up line in a bar between to potential bed mates.
    in a any random bar....
    he:"Hey, how's it going......?
    she:"Oh great thanks. How are you?" I'm Bambi"
    he:" hi Bambi, I'm Johnson"
    He: Listen I was just wondering if you would show me yours if I show you mine."
    she:"Oh no problem Johnson....(ziiiiippp)"
    he: "Whooooaahh! (ziipppp, snap)"
    she: "hmmmmmm(grin turns to jaw drop) Holy Bejesus! Johnson can I buy you a drink!!!?"


    ther we go, no muss, no fuss.......no games


    and Gee, knowing how much it irritates you, I will do my best to muck up your ice cream sandwiches with sex flavored filth


By J on Friday, September 24, 1999 - 12:44 pm:

    I,m cracking up again,and remembering how I got F.B mixed up with Waffles and had to 86 Mala-dicta.I,ll still be your agent:)


By Pink on Friday, September 24, 1999 - 01:34 pm:

    NO, fetid. I was talking about today's youth. Geezuz Christ, I don't want to see those striving for puberity take down their drawers.

    I reinstate: what would the kids, under the age of ten, pay to see what we saw years ago?

    That's all.

    I'm not a perve
    I'm not a perve
    I'm not a perve


By J on Friday, September 24, 1999 - 01:51 pm:

    A dollar maybe?


By Pink on Friday, September 24, 1999 - 01:57 pm:

    C'mon, J. Kids have plenty o' bucks comin' out their ass, thanks to daddy and mommy working now. Think about it. These young gals won't give in for less than a ten spot.

    Would you?


By MapleLeaf on Friday, September 24, 1999 - 02:00 pm:

    cheap.....probably worth more ....you never know....someday you may have to pay a premium to see a picture of it in...... Playboy? Penthouse ?
    Hustler ? Maxim ?

    Also...these days....if you ask..you may get to see it for nothing.


By Pink on Friday, September 24, 1999 - 02:02 pm:

    So much for making a retro point.

    I was trying to get the memories flowing...

    ...what a waste


By J on Friday, September 24, 1999 - 02:12 pm:

    Depends on who and how you ask.


By MapleLeaf on Friday, September 24, 1999 - 02:16 pm:

    Please lady.....may I?


By Pink on Friday, September 24, 1999 - 02:22 pm:

    I guess my trip down memory was hampered by molestuous questioning.

    screw it


By Rhiannon on Friday, September 24, 1999 - 03:08 pm:

    "Molestuous"! What a great word!

    My estimate is $5. Of course, it would depend on the girl. If she's trying to put herself through kindergarten, expect no less than $25.


By ML on Friday, September 24, 1999 - 03:11 pm:

    ROFLMAO


By Waffles on Friday, September 24, 1999 - 03:12 pm:

    exactly pink......"screw it!"


By Pink on Friday, September 24, 1999 - 03:13 pm:

    indeed I try.


By J on Friday, September 24, 1999 - 03:44 pm:

    Thats all you can do Pink,some times it,s worth it


By Nate on Friday, September 24, 1999 - 03:52 pm:

    i never paid.

    i think that people who have a strong pre-pubescent sexual experience prefer small breasts.


By Pink on Friday, September 24, 1999 - 04:43 pm:

    you got to shuck out the big bucks for a life time of desire.

    the less you spend, the less you get.

    you can quote me.




    ...strong pre-pubescent sexual experience prefer...
    what, nate? tell us.

    what evidence factors into this?

    c'mon nate.


By Nate on Friday, September 24, 1999 - 04:58 pm:

    just a little unscientific research. the men i've talked to who have had pre-bubblescent sex prefer small breasted women. i know i do. i can't volunteer anyone else's info.


By Waffles on Friday, September 24, 1999 - 05:12 pm:

    it's ok


By Fetidbeaver on Friday, September 24, 1999 - 06:35 pm:

    Pink, relax take a xanax. I didn't really think you were talking about molesting kids. I just saw the opportunity to fuck with you and have some fun. I would expect the same from you.
    I also believe Nate's theory.


By Waffles on Friday, September 24, 1999 - 06:40 pm:

    i'll take a xanax......friday pm......no business...typical slow.........suicidal slow...


By Jinafishes on Friday, September 24, 1999 - 07:17 pm:

    Ahhhh, poor bloke. Have a shot of nyquil and rum, that'll fix you right up. They were actually giving away small bottles of nyquil at the bookstore, I really should have gone in, open it up right there, shoot it down, wipe my mouth off, go AHHHHH that hit the spot, and leave.


By Rhiannon on Friday, September 24, 1999 - 07:24 pm:

    Didn't I warn you people about Nyquil before? It messes with your heart.


By Nate on Friday, September 24, 1999 - 07:31 pm:

    yeah.. you want Robotussin. by the bottle.


By Waffles on Friday, September 24, 1999 - 07:31 pm:

    yeah i love those kits you get on the first day of college at the bookstore...they give you a toothbrush, deodorant, Nyquil, NoDoze, and Tylenol PM , what exactly are they trying to get us hooked on, better yet, i woder if anyone has downed all of that and gone to their first day at class....i admit i was tempted....but it was a film class and i knew i would be down for the count before the credits were done..


By Fetidbeaver on Friday, September 24, 1999 - 07:36 pm:

    Waffles, just what the hell do you do at work anyway. What's your official title and what do you do? (besides reside at Sorabji)


By Waffles on Friday, September 24, 1999 - 07:38 pm:

    Sales Represenative-Newsstand Distribution and Marketing Associate...today i updated my web page. Sales are slow and we are upon a new season, the real push begins in a few weeks. Summer slow slowly residing. However all of my clients are on the eastern half of the country.....so after 2pm on a friday, you can hear a pin drop....


By Fetidbeaver on Friday, September 24, 1999 - 07:47 pm:

    You work for SRINT???!! :o)


By Fb on Friday, September 24, 1999 - 07:48 pm:

    Sprint

    it's been a long fucking week


By Jinafishes on Friday, September 24, 1999 - 07:57 pm:

    You know what, I was thinking the exact thing. I'm glad someone asked where Waffles works besides me. Robatassum huh? Caffeine messes with your heart too so it's just as well. Never again will I have 33 cups in one night. Unfortunately I didn't get a little kit this year, it really would have helped for math class, it's too easy. I made a new fwend tho and that's made it a little bit better. It's weird, we're taking 3 classes together, both out of 4. Both want to be a graphic designer. A couple other few weird events, the first day we talked in sociology we just decided to go to the park and talk about crap, had 4 hours to kill, so we did. People sure do like to talk a lot more in college. She wants to live on this boathouse in Olympia with her boyfriend, which is cool, and had just come back from New York and loved that. She told me today that I had an exotic face with erotic eyes *gasp* how nice! specially coming from a girl. You just don't hear things like that around here in small town Elma, girls are always at each other's throats, it's sickening.


By Waffles on Friday, September 24, 1999 - 08:03 pm:

    college time curiosities my dear Jina, you CAN'T leave your fellow sorabjite pervs outt of the loop and i have to say based on that one scan you had one day of your various, in a weird distorted way, I kept thinking Darryl Hannah ala Blade Runner


By Waffles on Friday, September 24, 1999 - 08:04 pm:

    you should post a picture.........i have seen quite a few of the folks around here....


By Jinafishes on Friday, September 24, 1999 - 08:25 pm:

    Really? I haven't seen many folks from here, but I'll try sometime, to get a picture of me scanned, I'm sure there are some photos around here somewhere, I should really get back into photography, I've got this great adjustable lens and shutter speed camera that's fun as hell, it's just, goddamn, college takes up a lot of time. I've got an old picture of me here, but like I said, it's really not up to date, I think that was 3 or 4 years ago. Anybody else have pictures?


By Fb on Friday, September 24, 1999 - 08:33 pm:

    Sorry I'm in the witness protection program :}


By Pink on Saturday, September 25, 1999 - 01:38 am:

    if I start gobbling Xanax, can I use an inhaler also? I want to get the desired effect.


By Fetidbeaver on Saturday, September 25, 1999 - 02:04 am:

    What kind of inhaler? I hear that bleach and toilet bowl cleaner when mixed make a wonderful inhalent.


By Pink on Saturday, September 25, 1999 - 02:10 am:

    Is that "2000 Inhales" or "2000 flushes"?


By Fetidbeaver on Saturday, September 25, 1999 - 03:43 am:

    I think it's called TIDY NOSE


By swine on Saturday, September 25, 1999 - 04:51 am:

    i kind of miss the xanax achievers.



By Gee on Sunday, September 26, 1999 - 04:22 am:

    You're a cute girl, Jina. I like the green-clothed chick on your index page, too, she looks like an elf. What's she from?




    Speaking of breasts, boys - I know that telling a girl how great she is at oral sex is one of those Boy Lies you tell. Is another Boy Lie telling a girl what great boobs she has, whether they're great or not? I was telling someone the other day about this girl in one of my classes who has big breasts, and how she's thin and pretty and the boy sitting behind me flirts with her through the entire class, and I mention how nice her breast seem to look, and out of nowhere my friend compliments my breasts. Well hey, thanks.

    Was that a Boy Lie?


By Swine on Sunday, September 26, 1999 - 05:30 am:

    no guy with any self respect or human compassion is gonna encourage a woman who gives miserable head to do it more often.

    bad head is a boring, pathetic, and miserable experience... which is only compounded by the awkwardness of trying to tell her to "just stop" without turning the whole mess into an even more pathetic, miserable, boring and painfully dramatic scene.

    jesus. no more. i need sleep.


By Pink on Sunday, September 26, 1999 - 07:24 am:

    I agree.


By Fetidbeaver on Sunday, September 26, 1999 - 08:34 am:

    Boy lie? Boys tell lies? No, no way.
    If a guy tells you you give great head, cums consistantly and begs for more, you can believe him. As far as the breast compliment (lie?) goes, you'll have to post a picture of your tits and we'll let you know.


By Waffles on Sunday, September 26, 1999 - 04:42 pm:

    RIGHT beav....hey Jina, I am not sure if you caught word, but i do have a website, with pics of me and my wife.....i am photography student, and for a strange reason you look alot like someone i think i know.....?????

    Gee, some guys will say anything to get in your pants, whether or not he actually meant it or not is rather a moot point........just enjoy the fact he said it, he wouldn't have said it if he didn't mean it to some degree......and guys can't bluff on a blow job......did he "pop his top" if so..A+, if not, or it took 20 minutes....then you may need to review your technique or his problem.


By Waffleboy on Sunday, September 26, 1999 - 04:48 pm:


By Pink on Sunday, September 26, 1999 - 05:47 pm:

    guess I'm either stupid or your photo session is very difficult to come by.

    better luck next time.


By J on Sunday, September 26, 1999 - 06:03 pm:

    I can,t see but about 4 of them,and I can,t see Angry Sams update and it,s driving me nuts.


By Gee on Monday, September 27, 1999 - 05:42 am:

    I know less now than I did before I asked the question.

    Oh well. Friend has never said anything untrue to me before, to my knowledge, therefore I shall believe him when he compliments my rack. Thanks.







    Doesn't Swine look cute when he's sleeping?


By Waffles on Monday, September 27, 1999 - 12:03 pm:

    J, we all know your web tv is not tripod.com friendly. Loose that shit. and Pink, cluelesss as to your troubles, or even if they are in relation to my site.....


By Pink on Monday, September 27, 1999 - 01:18 pm:

    What's up with this bullshit with Tripod? I have Webtv also, but I'm a tripod member and they gear their page builder section for webtv. I did get in to the photo album, but a couple of lines of the photo would download then it'd all vanish!

    You're right, Waf, HTML is a bitch to use. At times I feel like I'm back in high school writing FORTRAN or COBOL when I use it.





    I would lose the webtv, but it's damn comfy typing from the Lay-z-Boy!


By J on Monday, September 27, 1999 - 05:05 pm:

    I,m curious,does F.B. or Pink have there own webpage?I finally have one but it,s cheesy and it,s just some links,that,s all I could figure out to put on it.


By J on Monday, September 27, 1999 - 05:06 pm:

    I,m curious,does F.B. or Pink have their own webpage?I finally have one but it,s cheesy and it,s just some links,that,s all I could figure out to put on it.


By Waffles on Monday, September 27, 1999 - 05:16 pm:

    well what is it anyway...


By Spider on Monday, September 27, 1999 - 05:28 pm:

    I want to see some pictures of J looking like Xena.


By Spider on Monday, September 27, 1999 - 05:30 pm:

    PS. How do you type with WebTV? Do you have a keyboard? I keep imagining those on-screen alphabet charts, you know, like when you play video games and you have to enter a password.


By Waffles on Monday, September 27, 1999 - 05:32 pm:

    and then some


By Fetidbeaver on Monday, September 27, 1999 - 06:31 pm:

    I have WEBTV and love it. The key board is wireless and no different than your computer keyboard. I have friends with computers who have come by to check out the webtv an are amazed how easy and quick it is. Yes it does have limitations though I'm not sure as to all of them yet. Everytime I think I can't do something another webtv person comes along and shows me how. I was at a site this weekend where the guy was teaching how to link to tripod. This weekend I was learning html for the first time and remade my email pages with backgrounds, animated gifs and real audio sound. My whole set up cost; WEBTVPLUS unit $199 but I got it for $140 at circuit city because someone had opened the box. Cannon printer $139 wireless keyboard $49 set it up and online in 20 minutes. We are going to purchase a computer but I plan to keep using the webtv. I like sitting in my recliner with the dog and the keyboard and seeing it on a big tv screen. People make fun of webtv but the one's I've met haven't tried it.

    Oh also I did start a web page at geocities last week but haven't got around to actually doing anything with it yet. They keep sending me reminders to get busy on it. The only thing on it now is a message board called "FETID'S PINK STINK"
    Oh, one other thing I can watch tv and surf the web at the same time on the same screen with the webtv plus.


By Pink on Monday, September 27, 1999 - 11:20 pm:

    I agree with FETID on every item about Webtv. Sure there are limitations, but it was CHEAP dammit! The company does upgrade a couple times of year. I did build a web page using Webtv's page builder--real basic. I trashed it.

    I'll whip up a little somethin' just for J this week or weekend. Maybe I'll throw in some home movie footage...just to see little Pink growing up thru the years. Maybe a nudey pic too?


By Pink on Tuesday, September 28, 1999 - 08:42 am:

    got done reading Angry Sam's TOM SAWYER GETS A MOHAWK.

    the fucker is pretty angry!


By J on Tuesday, September 28, 1999 - 10:14 am:

    Well I,m fucking angry too,how can you see Angry Sams update and you have webtv,and I can,t??I was going to show you all my shitty webpage,so I tried to get a counter and a banner,and some of that stuff.the keyboard on webtv must not be the same as a regular keyboard cause I don,t have a file key,so I can,t figure out how to get those things and it makes me very hurt and angry.


By Waffles on Tuesday, September 28, 1999 - 11:53 am:

    jes loose the web tv, it appears to be a poorly put together consumer-friendly "sounds great on paper" idea that should have never been put together. I have never worked on it, so naturally I am speaking from the ass but judging from the amount of people who can't view my simple site and the many other sites they can't view, it's obviously a piece of shit. I have never visited a site i couldn't view or the pictures were skewed simply because of the computer and browser i was using.


By Rhiannon on Tuesday, September 28, 1999 - 12:01 pm:

    My browser's more tempermental than a teenaged girl. It will let me see pictures on a site one day, but if I return to the site the next day, all I get are those little boxes with Xs in them. Then I wait a few more days and I can see the pictures again. Obviously I'm not doing somehting right, but I've given up trying to figure it out.


By Waffles on Tuesday, September 28, 1999 - 12:05 pm:

    but you have some strange weird ion storm in your house that causes all of your electronic components to flux










    in keeping with my escapists personality did anyone see the star trek voyager premier last week. MAN! did that rock.........


By Pink on Tuesday, September 28, 1999 - 12:34 pm:

    J--what's the problem? Be specific.

    It took me 5 clicks to get to Waff's page this morning. Be persistant!


By Jinafishes on Tuesday, September 28, 1999 - 05:28 pm:

    School's out. Time to bullshit.

    I've seen your photography before Waffles, I like the one of you and your wife looking upset together, do you use filters or anything special while taking the picture? I was thinking if I got into photography some, I'd take pictures of myself in emotions, like at the moment stuff, if I could remember to take the photo, but it'd be helpful, like holding up a mirror to myself, or maybe do a bunch of weird black and white photos with heavy eyeliner, I've done that before, I'll post if I find them. I saw this book on famous photos, one was like a dali painting, with dali in it, cats flying in one direction, water being poured in the other, a floating chair, and dali jumping in the air, all at the same time.


By Waffles on Tuesday, September 28, 1999 - 05:55 pm:

    I know the photo you are referring to. It's an amazing multiple exposure. Thats the only way I can think he did it and i forget the photgrapher's name, he is in one of my books. I do use a few lenses and filter but minimally. i have 2 different cameras, and an old poloroid of which none are posted on my site. I use anything from a 28mm to a 400mm lense and i either use a standard skylight of which yield no noticable effects other than block out UV light waves and protect your lense, i do have a star filter and a soft focus, but they are rather cheesy, so i never use them. But i do use a polarizer and a yellow #8 filter. The yellow cuts out the blues (opposites on color wheel) therefore enhancing cloud detail and cutting some haze in the back ground. However the yellow can often make hard shadows harder therfore cutting down on shadwo detail which can be an asset. The polarizer, cuts out glare and reflections if shooting into glass or reflective surfaces.

    I have alot of self portaits. They are fun and you have no one to answer to other than yourself. I often place a mirror just below the camera to check before i expose, the tricky part can come when you are determining your depth of field/focus. I often can be found holding random objects, say like a broom or something to the exact spot of which my face will be and then focusing on that, or i use my focus guide on the actual lense......anyway, obviously you have tapped a subject i can shoot the shit about all day......i highly encourage you to do what ever it is you want to do with a camera


By Jinafishes on Wednesday, September 29, 1999 - 02:06 pm:

    Yeah, I've been meaning to get into it, I felt a little of it last winter, bought a lens, not sure, 28 mm, I think, minimal distance, and a flasher, I had a telescope lense and that isn't too helpful for the self protraits, and pictures of weird spikey fruit on the fridge.


By J on Wednesday, September 29, 1999 - 02:14 pm:

    Pink,I can get to Waffles page,I just can,t see most of it.I got sick yesterday,right after my last post on this thread.I,m still sick,must be the flue.I tried to put a counter and a banner on my shitty home page,but apparently I need to take cookies,and I can,t figure out how to get them,also I,d like to remove some links I put on it and add some other ones.Well I,m not up to bothering with it today,I feel like I,m going to die,I,m hungry but can,t keep anything down.I know I,m really sick cause I can smell it.


By Waffles on Wednesday, September 29, 1999 - 02:16 pm:

    your best bet is to learn without using a flash. Flash issues can get complicated, i am having some as we speak. Strictly use existing light, learn to manipulate your aperture/shutter to achieve certain affects. try using slower shutter speeds, say 1/30th to 1/15th of second to gain movement in your pictures. the shutter is open longer and any movement will be picked up as a blur, however with these slow shutter speeds, you need to keep the camera steady, otherwise the whole picture will blur. a wide open aperture of say.....5.6 to 1.8 will yield a shallow depth of field, but you can intentionally have things out of the depth of field for effect, such as this
    http://members.tripod.com/accustat/wafflespics/wafflepics/page9.html


    note the hand is more in focus, more in the depth of field, where as her face is just out of the depth of field. Using bigger depth of fields, say with an aperture of 8 to 22 will require more light. Resolution can often be best around 5.6 to 11 aperture.......have fun regardless.......i have learned from many mistakes and I am obvioulsy happy to share my lessons learned.


By Jinafishes on Wednesday, September 29, 1999 - 02:37 pm:

    You think I could e-mail you if I have a question?


By Waffles on Wednesday, September 29, 1999 - 02:55 pm:

    i would be happy to help.....


By MapleLeaf on Wednesday, September 29, 1999 - 05:52 pm:

    Please PRETTY lady....may I?


By Cyst on Thursday, September 30, 1999 - 01:32 am:

    most young women have great tits, I think.

    if someone tells you you have great tits, it's probably true, but the person might also think that 99 percent of women in their 20s have nice chests.

    or maybe I'm just not that picky.


By Gee on Thursday, September 30, 1999 - 03:49 am:

    "great tits" is somehow a lot more flattering to me than "nice breasts". No one's ever said to me "You have great tits." I feel so gyped.


By Rhiannon on Thursday, September 30, 1999 - 09:16 am:

    Maybe he thought you'd knock his teeth out if he said "great tits" and so was protecting your feelings (and his teeth) by being more refined. That's a compliment in itself.


By Cyst on Thursday, September 30, 1999 - 05:21 pm:

    the weirder the compliment, the better.

    compliment someone on something they are unlikely to have been told a lot. or something sort of unique to them. or try to express your admiration in an interesting way.

    beautiful hands is nice. or knees. or arms. or skin.

    "great tits" is just so obvious. legs. ass. eyes. boring.

    the hair compliment can be effective because nice hair is part nature and part nuture.

    oh, I know. compliment chicks on their handwriting. that's a good one.

    or their profound knowledge of some arcane topic. last night I called a friend and shot her a bunch of questions about pregnancy hormones and when pregnant women start to lactate and why lactating women are usually temporarily infertile and why that goes away after six months. I told her I was asking because my roommate and I had been discussing the topic and I knew she would have all the answers. I know she was pleased to hear that I appreciated all that shit she has piled up in her head. let your friends know this.


By Waffles on Thursday, September 30, 1999 - 05:31 pm:

    i appreciate your knowledge of lactating women


By Rhiannon on Thursday, September 30, 1999 - 06:13 pm:

    I agree on the handwriting thing. I once wrote a letter to Jeff Nelson (you know, drummer for Minor Threat?) asking him something (I forget what) and he wrote back, and he said "PS. I like your handwriting." I was so flattered! So much so that that's the only part of our communication I remember.

    I have the note somewhere...I should look for it.


By Gee on Friday, October 1, 1999 - 03:18 am:

    I sent a letter to a male friend of mine once and his comment to me was that my hand writing sucked. But he also said I was cute and he enjoys reading my letters, so that's okay.



    Speaking of pregnancy - I'm going to get a shot of depo-provera tomorow. Has anyone ever tried this thing before?


By Waffles on Friday, October 1, 1999 - 12:18 pm:

    never talked to anyone who tried it, heard about the abnormal back hair though.......be careful


By Nate on Friday, October 1, 1999 - 12:49 pm:

    it will make you insane. i'd strongly STRONGLY recommend you do not go for the depo. you will experience moodswings like you would not believe. alienate your friends and lovers. it fucks up lives.


By Rhiannon on Friday, October 1, 1999 - 12:53 pm:

    Have you ever been on the pill? Supposedly the side-effects are similar, so you can use that as a gauge.


By Waffles on Friday, October 1, 1999 - 12:58 pm:

    my wife was on the pill for a while, a really low dose.....the mini-pill as they call it. It was OK as far as that shit is concerend. I wish they had a male pill apporved already. I would be more than willing. I can't wear condoms and my wife finally after 4 years got fed up with the pill.......according to planned parenthood, the pull out method is 85% successful. Actually i wish i was shooting blanks, but somehow i don't think thats the case....


By Agatha on Friday, October 1, 1999 - 01:25 pm:

    i was on depo for two years. it worked out okay for me, actually it decreased my moodswings and i had virtually no cramping. it did not affect my weight at all, and i did not grow any new hair aside from your ordinary hair growth. however, i have a friend who gained about thirty pounds on depo and lost it all after she went off of it. i think it really depends on the person. you will be able to tell within the two or three months that your first shot is good for whether or not it is something you want to continue with. my opinion of it is that if you are going to put hormones in your body that fuck with your natural state, depo may as well be the one. especially if you are as disorganized as i am about taking a pill every goddamn day.


By Agatha on Friday, October 1, 1999 - 01:27 pm:

    pullout method is highly ineffective. my daughter is living proof of that. if you really don't want to have kids, waffles, go and get a vasectomy. diaphragms aren't as bad as they seem, either.


By Waffles on Friday, October 1, 1999 - 01:31 pm:

    it's really a matter of not wanting kids NOW, I don't want to rule it out....we are playing roulette, we know that but when my wife took one look at a diaphragms, she gasped and scurried and when I saw it i couldn't blame her. Like i said, the percentage according to planned parenthood seemed to be ridiculously high....but so far so good............


By Fetidbeaver on Friday, October 1, 1999 - 02:12 pm:

    Depo works by turning you into a fat nasty bitch that no one wants to fuck. 100% effective :-)


By Nate on Friday, October 1, 1999 - 02:26 pm:

    it's not worth the risk. the woman i know who went on it went fucking nuts.


By Waffles on Friday, October 1, 1999 - 02:26 pm:

    speaking of sex if any of you fellas (or interested girls) haven't seen Isabella....i suggest you give her a peek, but hold onto your pants......I am going to pick up my jaw and smoke now......HOLYFUCK!

    http://www.isabellacam.com


By Gee on Friday, October 1, 1999 - 02:47 pm:

    Well, I had my shot. I tried not to go into it blind, but I have to admit my mind was pretty much made up when I first heard about it and how you only had to have a few injections a year. I can't stand pill-popping. I know I'd forget, or choke on them or some crap.

    Nate - are you serious about your fem friends going wacko or were you just being Nate? My doctor didn't say anything about it screwing with my mental health (aside from "it may cause depression", but so might the pill and pretty much Every kind of medication I've ever taken). She just wanted to make sure I had no family history of breast cancer or blood clots in my leg.

    From what I read, though, she should have given me a physical (I've never had one) and she didn't.


    I also read that people can gain weight when they take this (or the pill), but from what I've heard it's not actually the Pill (or the shot) that makes you gain weight. It just makes you hungry a lot more, and when you're hungry you eat. So maybe I'll get a sudden bought of will power or something.

    Oh yea. And prolonged use - general disaperence of period. WOOHOO!! Another great reason! I can handle the occasional spotting if it means the old sucker will dry up more or less.

    uhh, what else? Oh yea - 99.7% effective.

    Thanks for your input Agatha. I guess I'll wait and see how I feel. Right now my arm feels heavy and I'm paranoid about touching it cuz I'm not supposed to rub the area where I got the shot. I can handle being hungry or depressed or whatever I might be for the next few months - I just really hope I don't end up vomiting for three months.

    Now everyone keep an eye on me for the next few months and tell me if I seem like I'm going crazy. Sorry. CraziER.


By Swine on Friday, October 1, 1999 - 03:25 pm:

    fahgeddaboutit.

    you'll be eating glass and boiling bunnies by the end of the week.


By Nate on Friday, October 1, 1999 - 03:26 pm:

    i was being very serious. she was dating my current roommate at the time. she turned into a horror. her mood would change so rapidly. sometimes she'd just start crying. sometimes she'd get into these massive temper fits where she'd shout at my roommate for hours. (my roommate is this incredibly patient, incredibly good natured person... this behvior wasn't the culmination of a lot of provokations or anything like that.)

    the pill did not effect her like that. the mood swings the pill causes in people i know are like pissing in a puddle compared to the hurricane of depo.

    good luck, gee. apparently it doesn't always have this effect. hopefully you'll be fine.

    but if not... be ready for your ability for rational thought to be removed


By Nate on Friday, October 1, 1999 - 03:43 pm:

    all that said, you shouldn't be concerned. it's like dropping three more tabs because the first one isn't doing anything, and then realizing the first one is just kicking in. "did i fuck up by taking three more tabs?" shit, it doesn't matter now. just hold on and enjoy the ride.


By J on Friday, October 1, 1999 - 03:47 pm:

    Waffles,listen to Agatha,didn,t you say you didn,t want kids?Even if you do you can freeze your sperm.


By Nate on Friday, October 1, 1999 - 04:28 pm:

    you don't get kids that way. you get slushies.


By Waffles on Friday, October 1, 1999 - 05:16 pm:

    NOTE: slushies, not slush puppies......I am not canine


By Cyst on Friday, October 1, 1999 - 08:28 pm:

    I remember birth-control issues.

    I've been back a month. I'm sick of hanging out in bars and taverns and playing pool with random boys. I guess I'm ready for a boyfriend again.

    because I just want to get down to fucking.


By Cyst on Friday, October 1, 1999 - 08:43 pm:

    I'd especially be into, say, a fifth fuck with someone.

    so it's still novel but not nervous.

    someone who still thinks it's cool that if I'm kissed on one side of my neck, I get goosebumps all over that side of my body but not the other.

    jesus, I'd even be into an unrequited crush right now.

    I think I blushed when the guy at the gym was doing orientation with me and he showed me how to do the tit machine. what are those muscles in there called, anyway? the chest muscles. I don't know. I'm sure he was gay and I normally wouldn't even think such a muscle-bound pretty boy was attractive, but

    maybe I should call that guy who showed me last summer that thing about my favorite linen tank top, how someone can suck my tits without removing the shirt. I have some new outfits I could show him.


By Gee on Saturday, October 2, 1999 - 03:15 am:

    Oh my...

    UPDATE: my arm hurt all day. I kept looking for a bruse, but there wasn't one. It felt like there should have been. I feel like I'm in a pretty good mood (depression?) and when it came time to eat, I wasn't very hungry. (weight gain?) If this keeps up, maybe I'll even start making sense soon! (craziness?)


By Cyst on Saturday, October 2, 1999 - 07:17 am:

    I'm drunk. it's like 4 in the morning. more going out and getting drunk with boys.

    I am so dumb. like now that I'm back I think that the fun thing to do is to take up my friends' dares to gho up to other people in line at the taco bell drive-thru and ask them really flirtatuiously why their car has four exhaust pipes.

    "because ... it has ... a lot of POWER."

    he looked me in the eyes and smiled as he said this. god I am dumb.

    I'm so embarrassed. I hate to use that I ws drunk as an excuse for acting so stupidly. I got on the friend of friend's bed and let him hold my hand and GOD.

    thankfully I got sobver enough by the end of the night to discourage my friend from frank talk in the car before I drove home. I told him I was afraid of what he would say. which I was.

    before we all talked about art and literature. can you remember the names of the girls from seattle in the catcher in the rye? have you read marton eden? we quoted shakespeare and tried to see if the others could tell which play we were quoting. someone ended up using the lijne from julius caesar I used in a quote about rhiannon recently. yon cassius has a lean and hungry look. etc.

    I confused yeats and keats, as I often do. was told it's a common error. didn't make me feel better.

    the bartender told me he'd give me the shot of whiskey for free. they didn't have early times. he suggested jack and I said ok.

    what's the pointg of getting drunk? I could act at least this stuoid sober, I am sure.


By Iago on Saturday, October 2, 1999 - 11:27 am:

    come, come, good wine is a good familiar creature, if it be well used.

    you are not dumb. drinking is good. it is not good that you have so much self-reproach over silly stuff. maybe your confidence is low now that your back in the states and not sure what to do next. you don't like losing control, even a little, i think. that's not good.


By Cyst on Saturday, October 2, 1999 - 01:03 pm:

    my self-reproach is about my friends. they wasted a bunch of money and film on me. I was totally cold to their comeons.

    I was supposed to be their prop, like they read about in maxim magazine or something. the girl who validates the guys' worthiness to hang out with other girls.

    I was supposed to rate their targets and their approaches. (the highest grades went to the gloombetty who looked like sarah pauley and the line "hey, didn't we go to different schools?")

    but then I ended up being their target. dumb. they got f's.

    drinks I remember having last night:

    - full sail oktoberfest (beer before liquor, never been sicker?)

    - margarita no salt

    - then an extra shot of tequila to pad out the rest of my drink

    - bloody mary

    - a sea breeze or cape cod, forgot which

    - two or three drinks' worth of the huge communal long beach iced tea, whatever that is

    - that whiskey the bartender gave me for free

    - a singapore sling

    - another mixed drink at the next bar, the one where the waitress last called and turned the lights up and I went and turned them back down and she yelled at me. I have no memory of what I ordered there.

    drinks I don't think I had:

    - that vodka collins I tried to buy for someone else, but then he insisted on paying for our drinks and then said he never said he wanted it and that I should drink it.

    - the beer we took to the english grad student's apartment.

    anyway, I let men I have no intentions for buy me a lot of drinks. because I only had $18 in my wallet and I didn't charge or go to an atm. that's wrong.

    it was wrong of me to be such a tease all night. it's wrong to dress like emma peel and invite guys to feel the supple lambskin garments all over your body. it's wrong to wear a skirt that barely covers your ass then sort of let it get cinched up when you sit down and let them buy you $25 of drinks and play with your hair, when, ultimately, you know they don't have a chance.

    I'm playing some weird uber-but-anti-slut game. dressing up like I'm in some big movie when I really could be voted least likely to get laid. and I'm dumb if I think that trying to be the best-looking woman in the room is going to help me find a guy who is going to impress me. because all he'll do is say something to his friends then return his attention to the realm of normal people.

    or maybe I should stop going out with groups of guys. as if the whole 6'3 asian chick in skinny leather and bitch boots weren't intimidating enough.

    and I was advised that I couldn't approach anyone myself (notinthatoutfit) or I may get charged with solicitation.

    or maybe I should start trawling for dates at powell's technical books, like a normal golddigger.

    I want a big turkey sandwich now. I'm going to go buy a real computer today.


By No subject on Saturday, October 2, 1999 - 01:37 pm:

    I believe thats t r o l l in g


By Iago on Saturday, October 2, 1999 - 02:12 pm:

    depends: to trawl is to use a net to catch a lot of fish; to troll is to fish using one baited line.

    it's a matter of how ambitious you are and how good your bait is.

    miniskirts are for trawling.

    the mind is for trolling.


By Sarah on Saturday, October 2, 1999 - 07:31 pm:

    jeeezis do you have any idea how comforting it is to know that women like you exist in this world?

    it makes me want to eat an ice cream sandwich or two, in celebration.




By Cyst on Sunday, October 3, 1999 - 01:42 am:

    trawling. yes, that's what I meant.

    but I spelled sarah polley's name wrong.

    women like me?

    today I upgraded my ancient 486 for an intel celeron, whatever the hell that is. 64 mb ram, 8.4 gb hard drive. now I'm connecting with a 56k modem instead of a 14.4. the new computer has a dvd drive, which I didn't know existed until today.

    now I can go out and see this internet thing everyone's been talking about.


By Waffles on Monday, October 4, 1999 - 12:51 pm:

    i have heard the celron's are crap, they opted to cut the internal cache to just 128k. Your average Pentium 100 has at least 256k and some advance chips even have 512k....it's a sham!

    "women like you" hmmmmmmmmmmmm

    playing with boys emotions, draining their wallets with a false pretenses, playing their weaknesses.

    hmmmm, you'd fit in this town Cyst.........you need to come to town so I can see you in action......the advantages to being married: a)i know have a sharp sense to spot women like you, not that it matters, but i have the ability to flirt back, nothing gets a gold digger's eye like a ring.... b)when my wife's spots someone like you, she points it out to me, we laugh we giggle, we watch them, we have even been know to buy them drinks, or my wife has hit on them to throw their game. I am so glad I am not single. The games that are played are just silly, and what a pain in the ass.


By J on Monday, October 4, 1999 - 01:14 pm:

    People use to buy me drinks all the time,I worked the crowd,I am not a tease,I,m just amusing and I know it.Waffles,I,m not a shrink,but I could have been,and should have been,can,t you try to put yourself in someones place?Cyst is 6foot 3,don,t you think she feels self consious(I know I spelled that wrong)?I think she,s got balls and she doesn,t even know it.And what would be the best computer to get?My husband is going to get me one,he even painted Heathers and had new carpet put in to make a computer room.


By Waffles on Monday, October 4, 1999 - 01:48 pm:

    there is a difference in being a tease and having fun. My wife is known to be that way herself, but she is not a tease and the friends we have know this about her, so they can tease and play back and KNOW they aren't getting anywhere.....but upon first meeting people, she isn't so flirtatious. As to anyone feeling self concious, well I would just have to refer to the SELF in self concious or the SELF in self esteem....there is nothing anyone can do about someone else who is self concious or has self esteem issues.

    I would guess Cyst is VERY confident, and she knows it.

    I am not knocking her for being the way she is, in fact i am glad she is at least honest about it and recognizes it and even admits that her intentions may have an ounce of curelty in them, again, i am just glad i wasn't one of those suckas buying her drinks with a glimmer of hope of getting in her pants...although i would gladly buy cyst a drink, or even a few with the hopes of learning her real name .......guys can be stupid, when a girl asks her to feel her new chiffon dress or what have you, we can sometimes interpret that and other bits of attention, as a signal. Guys try real hard to be sensitive and pick up the right signals. The thing is most guys aren't interpreters, we aren't capable of decoding the signals........honesty is usually a better policy.


By J on Monday, October 4, 1999 - 02:13 pm:

    Same for girls,I would probably be somewhere else if some asshole hadn,t have lied to me.


By friendly on Monday, October 4, 1999 - 03:05 pm:

    celerons have 128 k l2cache but it runs at the full 100 mhz rather than the 66 mhz the full pII chips have. for most applications, it is nearly equal to a pII. celerons are a fine investment.

    any woman out there wants to tease me can fuck off. i'm not here to boost some dumb bitch's ego. play that game with someone else. i usually ignore good looking women. sure, i notice them but i will not give them the satisfaction of paying attention to them. there are plenty of proto-simians running around who are willing to pick up the slack anyway.


By Swine on Monday, October 4, 1999 - 04:14 pm:

    i'll have the same.

    make mine a double.




By Cyst on Monday, October 4, 1999 - 06:04 pm:

    ok. the defense.

    I didn't force anyone to buy me drinks.

    in fact, at one point I got into a little argument about who was going to pay. he insisted.

    it wasn't like I was approaching guys and hanging on them and leading them on. at all.

    I really did want my friends to feel how soft and supple my new lambskin clothes were. I had my chick friends touch them, too, they kept rubbing the leather -- it's SO NICE. tactile pleasure. I think I had the guys touch the sleeve of my coat. maybe the skirt and boots, but only for comparison purposes. or something.

    and the guys who bought me drinks, besides the bartender (whom I had tipped well), were old friends. if they haven't figured out in the last nine years that I'm not going to fuck them, then it's their problem.

    one of them kept touching my hair when I was sitting in front of him in the car. I guess I should have told him to stop, but I didn't want it to seem like a big deal. another took my hand and I let him hold it for a little while. it was cute. they're guys. whatever.

    and I'm totally nice to people who talk to me. anyone. even the ones who don't buy my drinks. even homeless guys who sit too close to me in a dark theater.

    and, anyway, I'm not really a gold digger. gold diggers have to commit to the guys they take from. I'm keeping my distance.

    but I'm totally open to being interested and impressed. please, someone.


By Cyst on Monday, October 4, 1999 - 06:08 pm:

    I'm just a nice girl in slutty bitch's clothing.

    nate - your roommate vouched for me, right? didn't he tell you I was really nice?


By Waffles on Monday, October 4, 1999 - 06:15 pm:

    no no you misunderstood, i am positive you are super nice, I actually took what you said and took it a step further not necessarily indicting you in the matter..........


By Cyst on Monday, October 4, 1999 - 07:05 pm:

    I'm nice but boring. let's talk about something else.

    I went y2k shopping today.

    well, see, I was getting some so-called express photos developed, so I had to spend an hour in the store.

    I bought all the normal stuff then remembered how my friend said he was stacking up on bottled water and canned food.

    he says when he first got a new visa card with a '00 expiration date, it didn't work. the company sent him a form apology letter and a new one with a '99 date on it.

    he's using that as his example of how things might actually be fucked up for the first couple weeks.

    and I've always been fascinated with bomb shelter mentality, so I thought, ok, I am going to buy CANNED CHILI.

    I got four cans of stagg extra-chunky (extra-fatty) chili. on sale for 99 cents, down from 1.47 or something.

    a jar of skippy reduced-fat peanut butter. I may actually end up eating this stuff even if I don't need it.

    two gallons of bottled water. will get more later. can always drink water.

    a six-pack of little cans of orange juice.

    if the lights stay on and all that, I'll give the chili to a food bank or something.


By Waffles on Monday, October 4, 1999 - 07:28 pm:

    "let's talk bout something else"

    i love you cyst

    yeah, I have slowly but surely collected a few things here and there....

    I bought 5 boxes of boullion cubes chicken and veg flavors
    i got two flashlights
    3 gallons of water
    i intend to collect more food as we go along
    I have 2 credit cards with the dates being 01 and 02 and I have no problem using them.
    I think the problems could arise from people getting paranoid and drawing their money from the bank like on new years eve. Just keep a bank statement and all will be well. If everyone went and got half of their money out of the bank, the banks would collapse. I recommend keeping an envelope hidden and shoving a 20 spot in it every week. My friends equate the possible inconvienences to earthquake aftermath. Only cash will work, there is no water but the god damn liquor store is open and business is booming.

    some friends and i discussed plans to rent a cabin in Mammoth or Big Bear for new years. i have been checking and I found some great houses for reasonable prices. Like $200/night in a 3 bdrm,2 bath house that can sleep 8+. We will aquire all of the drugs and liquor we possibly can and see how fucked i can get. i'll break out the fishing poles and pocket knife and we'll bring in the new year in a snow covered eden oblivious to all the shit going down in the city of angels.

    thats my plan anyway...


By Chicken_little on Tuesday, October 5, 1999 - 12:28 am:

    sky is falling!
    sky is falling!
    sky REALLY is falling!


By Cyst on Tuesday, October 5, 1999 - 12:59 am:

    hey. there's nothing wrong with starting the new year with canned chili.


By Droop on Tuesday, October 5, 1999 - 01:09 am:

    as long as you have cerveza.


By Wavydave on Tuesday, October 5, 1999 - 01:19 am:

    mas cerveza, por favor.

    oh, and Cyst, I posted a couple of questions to you on the Luch Phurr thread. Did you not see them, or were they not worth responding to?


    I have done nothing to prepare for Y2k, except set up a reunion with a bunch of college friends.


By Gee on Tuesday, October 5, 1999 - 04:02 am:

    Contempt. Contempt for my fellow man. Except for Droopy...maybe because he didn't say very much here. Or maybe because I'll never be sure he's really a guy, and my contempt seems to be reserved for penis-carriers tonight.

    Okay. I must stop saying mean things about boys before one of them catches on and gets offended. That would be a shame. I think it was all the Morrissey talk that set me off.





    This is not as much fun as it used to be. Everything is changing, except for the things that are staying the same. Both of them make me sad. The things that are changing are the things I want to stay the same, and the things that are staying the same are the things that I want to change.

    I'm having a very emotional day, and I would really like a rice krispie square. I think I'll buy a box of them tomorow.


By Cyst on Tuesday, October 5, 1999 - 10:04 am:

    a box of rice krispies or a box of rice krispie squares?

    a box of rice krispies squares would be good bomb shelter food.

    I like the idea of using this as an excuse to buy all the food I never normally would but always want to. like those big, crunchy pepperidge farm cookies named after swanky old-blood enclaves across the country.


By J on Tuesday, October 5, 1999 - 11:36 am:

    I have 2 bottles of champagne 1.5L,20oz of Macadamia nuts,trail mix,dried mixed fruit,beef jerky,6 Gallons of water,and lots of soup,cornbeef in a jar(shit on a shingle),I,m going to take $1000 dollars out a few days after X-mas.I hope that,s enough,I,m not too worried about our country,it,s the others that scare me,mostly China and Russia.


By Waffles on Tuesday, October 5, 1999 - 11:53 am:

    SERIOUSLY......you should save your money NOW J, if everyone goes and takes their money put like you, then we will have serious problems.....




    (psssst.......The depo is kickin in)




    rice krispy treats rule, however the gouger who runs the smoke shop/candy stand in my office lobby charges .75 for those small little squares.........he also charges $5 for a pack of smokes when they are 3.80 elswhere.....he can do that though....


By Waffles on Tuesday, October 5, 1999 - 01:50 pm:

    mmmmmmm i just had a rice krispy treat from the coffee shop around the corner called cyber java.....you feel kinda silly ordering a "gig" of coffee, but hey everything has a catch right? it wasn't as good as homemade, not enough butter.



    hollywood blvd is kinda strange in the sense that you have tourist joints selling 10 Ts for $9.99, gimmicky coffee shops, burlesque stores selling boas and 9" heels, camera shops that charge $10 for a roll of 36 b&w, porn shops, burger stands, a wax museum, a ripley's believe it or not and a guiness world records shop all crammed into one block...........

    I saw a tourist taking a picture of a friend doing a head stand on the harlem globetrotters star, that was funny.......much more interesting than the usual poses.


By J on Tuesday, October 5, 1999 - 02:03 pm:

    I use to love to save my money and go shopping in L.A,my favorite boutique was Granny Takes A Trip,probably gone now.I use to go to Whiskey A Go-Go,the guy that owned it was an older man named Mario,he wanted to "keep" me,but I was too young,he was too old,and it was too strange.


By Waffles on Tuesday, October 5, 1999 - 02:06 pm:

    yeah that place (the Whisky) is still around, did you ever go to the Troubador? The Stones played their first American gig there waaaaaay back when


By J on Tuesday, October 5, 1999 - 03:27 pm:

    Yea,I,ve been there,do the drag queens still cruise the strip in force on Haloween?


By Waffles on Tuesday, October 5, 1999 - 03:30 pm:

    yeah and any given saturday night in that part of town aka Boys Town.......


By Agatha on Tuesday, October 5, 1999 - 04:36 pm:

    gee, i would like to stick up for you right here and now and say that i can relate to your sadness. there used to be a lot more variety around these parts, now it's the same ten people with the same blahblah. i did not actually count, and i don't want people to take this personally. in fact, i am not even thinking about anyone in particular, although honestly waffles frightens me with the frequency with his postings. no offense to anyone who posts here is intended, but some new blood that talks about things other than sex and drugs is desperately needed around here.

    i miss sheila and nelly and markus and people who had funny and intelligent and insightful things to say.

    this pecan walnut bread is fucking great. i feel as though i am eating right now for the first time in a week.

    i still like you all.


By Benjamen on Tuesday, October 5, 1999 - 04:51 pm:

    I just had a piece of gum that I found in a purse with nine dollars in it. I didn't take the money because the purse was in such disarray, it really seems that Lauren needs her nine dollars. I don't know who Lauren is or why she was in the production room. I am recording two records that my freind Carl bought and I am sure I will never find them - Instant Pop Classics vol 1 and 2. They both say limited edition of 300 copies, but they did come out last month. Both are comps with a bunch of art punk songs from the late 70s and early 80s. The Petticoats, the Native Hipsters, the desperate bycicles... These records are so fucking good. But I couldn't even afford to buy them if I found them at the store. I just had to spit the gum out...


By Waffles on Tuesday, October 5, 1999 - 05:58 pm:

    agatha don't judge me from the frequency of my posts, is that relavent to anything?

    let me reiterate my situation during the work day, i sit in front of a computer and make a few outgoing calls that last approx 1 1/2 minutes each. I take a few incoming calls that last approx 1 1/2 minutes each. i update spreadsheets and i organize marketing mailings. The nature of my job is acct maintenance. When I am needed, I AM NEEDED, when I am not, i am left to my own devices. My work could be done in 2 hours out of 8. I can't read a book while at my desk, i can't play games and i can't talk on the phone to obvious personal calls. So what do i do? I pass the time bullshitting, sometimes serious, sometimes not. Eitherway, the sorabji screen can pasa for any numerous prpgrams loaded on my desk. If i had my way, I would nto be in this situation but the bills have to get paid, I want to be a fed artist, not a starving one...I likes me salisbury steak! Surely nothing is wrong with that? I bullshit as if we were sitting face to face over a beer. J posts here a lot, any difference? On the weekends or the evenings I have other shit going on, notice the infrequency of my posts during those times.

    I am sorry you don't find my posts interesting or amusing. But then again, I don't seek to please anyone but myself. I would like to think that my frequency of posts have not scared others away....that would be a shame and could be possibly be good reason for me to split......upsetting a clique was not in my agenda when i came here in June....I would expect if i truely annoyed anyone i would be told,by numerous level headed indivuduals. if thats the case it's not a problem. I found this place by accident and it was a breath of fresh air to bullshit with people who share similar insights and have similar tastes. I suppose i could be like a lot of you and come off rather aloof with my posts. I believe Margret had said at one point she crafted her posts carefully with abit of aloofness, why I dunno...i don't care. I say whats on my mind and i try to be a little entertaining along the way. I believe there is more going on here than just sex and drugs, I have made several posts on books i recently finished or movies i have seen but ironically they got little or no response. Am I that dull? Looking at some of the other posts I doubt I am THAT dull. But what do i know? I say if the subject matter is boring to you, bring something up, i am all ears and I suspect everyone else is as well.

    However some posts tend to be a bit personal, leaving the reader wondering exactly how to respond. I know you weren't trying to offend, and I am not so offended, but rather I am showing a bit of insecurity becasue i do have a sense of respect for everyone around in here in one way or another and it would be a little hurtful to think i have annoyed anyone, to the point of someone even deducting the conclusion that I am an idiot or a big mouth know-nothing. This thing is way beyond a typical chat place in which i could tell all to eat flying fuck shit, spare my ego and move on. However my brain tends to go faster than my hands and often my censor is out out lunch it would be shame for someone to deduct those conclusions. Like i might have said before, if i had met each of you, for the most part, in a social setting other than on this electronic hehaw we have here, i think, judging by all of your interests and personalities that do seep thru that have been mentioned, we would get along quite well.

    Eitherway, as vague as Gee's post was, I think we know she was directing it towards me....why I dunno, I am not too hung up on it. This was the last thread after several in which I porbably hit a few buttons with her.........why she takes me so seriously i am not sure.

    Eitherway, sorry you find my kraut so dull, i would be delighted to get into other topics, i encourage you to throw them out and see what happens


    kisses


By Waffles on Tuesday, October 5, 1999 - 06:02 pm:

    sorry my speak and spell is in the shop


By Fetidbeaver on Tuesday, October 5, 1999 - 06:11 pm:

    Maybe she's with the Teamsters local 1279.

    I crack myself up, Waffles cracks me up, a few others here crack me up but their feelings would be hurt if I said why.
    Anyway, it's free.
    FUCK THE FRENCH!


By Benjamen on Tuesday, October 5, 1999 - 06:13 pm:

    I've been cracking up all afternoon and I still haven't even looked up one temp site..


By Benjamen on Tuesday, October 5, 1999 - 06:16 pm:

    Waffles

    You spent a lot of time on that message and you still haven't even told me what you think of the long white con.


By Waffles on Tuesday, October 5, 1999 - 06:23 pm:

    ahhh right, frankly i had trouble understanding the exact deatails of that one. the only con I truly understood was the short one in which they hustled a stranger into thinking one was gonna dupe the other with some "found" money when in turn they actually dupe the mark instead and meet up around the corner. I found the cons very elaborate and I suppose that demonstrates my lack of street sense when it comes to shit like that. I guess what amazed me most is these guys were so god damned intelligent they could have been the best wall street bankers but society kept em down.
    I had a lot of admiration for Blue, he was the sweetest character, looked our for Folks unconditionally. That is something I admire....I dunno, help me out explain the con in your words, perhaps it will click


By Cyst on Tuesday, October 5, 1999 - 06:35 pm:

    agatha -

    I agree.

    what can we do to bring those people back?

    would our posting less encourage others to post more?

    I feel I am partly responsible for making the boards so boring. if for no other reason than they were more interesting when I got here and now they're less. I will assume a causal relationship.

    but I want to make them better. sex and drugs = boring. I also think music, food, stocks and pets are pretty dull general-interest topics.

    has anyone here ever been on a game show? those are some of my favorite stories. can't speak from experience, though.


By Nate on Tuesday, October 5, 1999 - 07:00 pm:

    sorry, i don't have much experience outside of sex and drugs.

    i'll leave now.


By Waffles on Tuesday, October 5, 1999 - 07:02 pm:

    right behind ya........











    beav, ya comin?










    swine has the car runnin


By Sarah on Tuesday, October 5, 1999 - 07:30 pm:


    my favorite topics these days:

    creative writing
    surfing
    nutrition
    exercise
    country music

    none of which is particularly fascinating.

    i took the day off from work today because i was diagnosed with acute pharyngitis... some sort of throat virus. anyway, i went to the gym for a run and on my way home i was driving behind a car that had a Macintosh (computer) Apple decal in the rear window. that struck me as being a very odd thing to want to associate with, especially on your car. is there some secret club or something?

    hmmm maybe we should forget the sorabji.com t-shirt idea and go with bumper stickers instead. cheaper too.

    oh, we could also discuss sorabjifest '00. the time is drawing nigh.





By Swine on Tuesday, October 5, 1999 - 07:46 pm:

    new pig sty.


By Agatha on Tuesday, October 5, 1999 - 08:00 pm:

    waffles, i'm not judging you. i was hoping that you would not immediately take offense and assume that the entire post i had written about was pointed at you. as i stated in my original post, my statements were not directed at anyone in particular. i'm sorry if you felt singled out, but there's not a lot i can do about who takes what i say in what fashion. one cool thing about sorabji.com is the way the people come and go and set the tone of the conversations. my tastes run towards the posts that amuse me and the posts that make me think. this reflects my own personal taste, and does not speak for the myriad others who post and lurk around here.

    i forgot to mention that i miss margret. i even miss slacker. and whatever happened to that bastard dave? he was pretty funny.


By Wavydave on Tuesday, October 5, 1999 - 08:03 pm:

    I used to have a Mac Apple on the back window of my car. I accidentally scraped most of it off one winter clearing the sheet ice from my back window (gotta love those Alaska winters :)

    I also have one on my mtn. bike and snowboard.
    I have 2 nerd stickers (Apple and a Microsoft gaming ZONE) and 2 music (VooDoo Glow Skulls and a killer Greatful Dead (that a now-deceased friend gave me) on the snowboard.)

    It's a mac owner pride thing (though I no longer own a Mac...)

    I dunno if I qualify for membership in the sorabjifest '00 festivities, but I'll be in West Texas/Central New Mexico around the Yule/New Year's dates, for what it's worth.


By Agatha on Tuesday, October 5, 1999 - 08:07 pm:

    PETS ARE NOT BORING. i don't find your posts boring either, cyst. just so you know.

    nate, let's talk about your stoner plum headed parakeet.

    i am going to start posting for cleo. she always has something interesting to say.

    the sorabji.com tshirts rest on the shoulders of mark thomas, who was supposed to send me the beefy tees months ago.


By Fetidbeaver on Tuesday, October 5, 1999 - 08:20 pm:

    Aaaahhhh, sorry I didn't answer earlier. I was out trying to score some crack from a hooker. Just your everyday dull goings-on. Is it to late to get a ride?


By Fetidbeaver on Tuesday, October 5, 1999 - 10:47 pm:

    Back again. Seriously though, some come and then go just because; their life got too busy, things were starting to get too personal, easily offended, didn't feel welcome etc...
    I wonder how many didn't feel welcome. How many attempted to make them welcome. I have noticed people continue a thread non-stop while ignoring a newcomer. You want new blood? Stop and make them welcome then continue the thread. If you sit there silently,lurking when you can offer something then you are just as guilty. I really don't think posting less is going to encourage new people to jump into the discussion. Everyone wants to feel welcome. It's that simple


By Gee on Wednesday, October 6, 1999 - 01:59 am:

    Cyst - I wanted to buy a box of Rice Krispie Squares today, but I forgot my five dollar bill. Aside from that I only had twenties on my, and I didn't want to break them. I had a couple loonies, but I wanted to save them for a muffin. Oh well. A box of the squares would have been over three bucks, anyway, so a couple of loonies wouldn't have covered it.

    Agatha - and I thought I was being so deep. Yes, I was (in part) refering to the way things have changed on sorabji since I started reading here. Like Cyst I assume responsibility for that. It seems to happen whenever I start posting to some new bulliten board. The people there before I arrive seem interesting, and then once I've been there a few months, it's all new people who don't seem Quite as interesting. My theory is that others stumble upon this board, and seeing the lamness of my posts and how they're basically accepted, assume it's alright for them to make lame posts too. Maybe lame is the wrong word. Just...as you said...a lot of sex and drugs. I thought an Ice Cream Sandwich post could change all of that, but I see I was horribly wrong.

    Waffle - I wasn't talking about you anywhere, this time. Just men in general. Last night I had no tollerance for men. Oh, and I also like the idea that I can use my choice of birth control as an excuse for being a um female dog. It's much better than the excuses I used to use before I started on the depo.

    Sarah - I think creative writing is an interesting topic. I like writing. I haven't done any creativly for a Long time now, and it's pretty sad. I've always thought that writing was a part of me, and it's sad that I don't have time for anything substantial anymore. All of my ideas seem to have deserted me.


By friendly on Wednesday, October 6, 1999 - 02:36 am:

    see? fours ARE lame! accept it. embrace it. be it.


By Agatha on Wednesday, October 6, 1999 - 10:35 am:

    wonder what happened to that dave character? man, he was funny.


By Waffles on Wednesday, October 6, 1999 - 01:02 pm:

    your dave Agatha? and I was only a little upset by your post because I am taking blame for the current conditions or lack of quality on the boards, but funny how all seem to agree that once we stick around a while the posts seem to get nonsensicla nad rather boring. Could that be an anomly more related to yourself than the other posting around you? I agree with beav about making others welcome all thought i am one to take advantage of a newcomer for an easy jopke, so I am no help I suppose....we seriously need some RC to whip our asses into shape. I always viewed her as sorta of the tough love mother around here to stick our asses back in place. as a boy with a serious oedipus complex i miss her.


By Confus ed on Wednesday, October 6, 1999 - 01:53 pm:

    "buy a box of rice krispies"???

    it costs about $1.50 to make your own and only takes a microwave and a fridge and 15 mins.

    does no-one do anything for themselves anymore?


By Nate on Wednesday, October 6, 1999 - 02:36 pm:

    you mean rice krispie treats, right?

    rice krispies can't be that easy to make.


By Waffles on Wednesday, October 6, 1999 - 02:48 pm:

    it's true it's true...i would questionthe $1.50 but fairly cheap for a whole batch of them fuckers....


By Wavydave on Wednesday, October 6, 1999 - 02:53 pm:

    Rice Crispy treats are obscenely easy to make.
    You need a bag of marshmallows (don't you hate it when you have to look up an easy word like marshmallow because it looks so goofy when typed)
    A box of Rice Crispies
    some margarine.

    melt marshmallows in the microwave or on the stovetop - adding a big chunk of margarine to keep it all soft and squishy.
    when it is melted to a sticky, gooey mess, stir in rice crispies.

    viola.


By Wavydave on Wednesday, October 6, 1999 - 02:56 pm:

    nate - one of my good friends from college had a constant supply of blue-green algae products delivered to him courtesy of his grandmother. I'd have to say that the raspberry was my fav - followed by the sesame seed.

    It's a lot of fun to try to get people to eat it.

    that brought back memories of weird tastes that don't go away.


By Waffles on Wednesday, October 6, 1999 - 03:18 pm:

    there ya go Gee, from Ice Cream sandwiches and Push Ups to Rice Krispy Treats and algea products from grandparents......interesting i'd say, but I can be easily amused...


By BKevin on Wednesday, October 6, 1999 - 03:21 pm:

    Hey look, that dog has a puffy tail!

    Here Puff Puff Puff
    here Puff


By Wavydave on Wednesday, October 6, 1999 - 04:43 pm:

    er...huh?


By Wavydave on Wednesday, October 6, 1999 - 04:51 pm:

    Have you ever gotten a fast-food sandwich and the damn thing disentegrates every time you pick it up...or squirts mayo/ketchup out all over the clean white shirt you're wearing....or drops inconvenient globs of stuff into your keyboard...

    Basically, what I'm getting at, is food that makes you mad when you eat it.

    Then, because you are angry, you get messier. The viscious cycle continues until you're cramming food in your mouth, oblivious to the disgusted stares of your co-workers.

    that happen to anyone out there?


By Cyst on Wednesday, October 6, 1999 - 05:40 pm:

    last night I went to pick up my friend at his brother's house, where he is housesitting while the brother is on his honeymoon in cancun.

    I looked into their cupboard and saw that they were stocking up for y2k too! I pointed out the bottled water, canned chili and tuna to my friend.

    but then I kept looking around (I know this is bad, but I am fascinated by other people's cupboards and you know there isn't going to be anything private in there anyway), and I saw that they're always ready for y2k! they were just really into canned and boxed food, all prepared and preserved.

    his brother had more than a shelf full of cereal. he had like 16 boxes of cereal. fake corn flakes, fake cheerios, fake rice krispies, blueberry morning, lucky charms, honey bunches of oats, cap'n crunch, waffle crisps, life. and many, many, many more.

    I told my friend that I would expect this couple to have crackers, but I didn't see any. he said those were in the special snack drawer, along with the corn chips, doritos, milk duds and starbursts.

    I was hoping for wheat thins and expecting at least triscuits, but all they had were FAKE CHICKEN IN A BISCUIT. I forgot what they call fake chicken in a biscuit. chicken-flavored snack crackers?

    I meant to take one but accidentally took two. ate them both. had to have some doritos as a chaser. yuck! they tasted like campbell's chicken noodle soup concentrate.

    "are they fat?" I asked.

    "no."

    "they will be."


By Agatha on Wednesday, October 6, 1999 - 10:21 pm:

    you just mentioned two foods that i feel strongly should not exist. one is blueberry morning cereal, and the other is chicken in a biscuit. that is some vile shit. right now, i am cooking up my first squash of the season. i will eat it with butter, salt and pepper. yum.

    i was being funny about the dave guy, i didn't know it was common knowledge around here that he was "mine." he would deny that ownership, by the way.


By Gee on Thursday, October 7, 1999 - 02:31 am:

    I know how to make rice krispie squares by myself. It's just one of those things that I prefer to buy ready made. I like the shiney blue wrapper.


By Fetidbeaver on Friday, October 8, 1999 - 01:44 am:

    Margarine is in rice krispie treats? Yuck!


By Waffles on Friday, October 8, 1999 - 12:05 pm:

    margarine, butter, the more butter the better, it's not so dry, nice and gooey


By Cyst on Friday, October 8, 1999 - 03:48 pm:

    last night at the titty bar I had a "new york strip steak." ha ha.

    my friend says I shouldn't call them titty bars here, since it's all about twat and buttcheek-spreading.

    steak. salad. garlic bread. onion rings. $6. no tax.

    some guys by the stage kept beckoning for us to go over to them. we waved and they bought us all drinks.

    like it says to in maxim magazine.

    last night I also went to a metal shop and used the bathroom, which had a great pile of maxim magazines.

    my friend, who is nine months pregnant and was having four-minute-interval contractions at the titty bar last night, told me that all metal workers are porn experts and we should talk to them about our ideas.

    so we passed around photos and talked about gross stuff at the bar. it all seemed very redundant.

    I wonder if my friend has gone to the hospital yet. she was really pregnant.


By Simon on Friday, October 8, 1999 - 06:43 pm:

    You can call them titty-bars. The term has been officially sanctioned by the U.S. Navy. Half a million sailors can't be wrong.


By Cyst on Friday, October 8, 1999 - 07:23 pm:

    but he argues that portland strip clubs deserve a special name, a title of honor, since in most american cities, it's illegal for a bar to serve up both hard liquor and hair pie.


By Waffles on Friday, October 8, 1999 - 07:34 pm:

    she has a point.....beaver bar?


By MapleLeaf on Saturday, October 9, 1999 - 07:57 pm:

    Ballet Club?


By J on Sunday, October 10, 1999 - 02:28 am:

    I have a good friend that has a titty bar,his wife does the books,I went to see him on the job one day,Shaunna the bitch use to live with him,he,s the guy I did that Supergirl film for,he has connections,I,m still standing.


By Cyst on Sunday, October 10, 1999 - 05:44 am:

    my friend had her baby at 4:15 a.m. saturday morning.

    now I am drunk. I went out with another friend who just moved here from seattle. it was her goal to have really attractive men buy us drinks, but I didn't know where to take her. where the beautiful people supposedly go or where I think we can get guys to buy us drinks?

    I took her to the places where the beautiful people supposedly go, and guys talked to us but didn't buy us any $4.50 drinks.

    one guy said he couldn't believe we missed the 311 show. another, whom I think was mentally ill, got on his knees before our table and started telling us how pretty we were and how much he wanted to get to know us. I told him we were lesbians and then he started telling us how how much pussy he's eaten. we also saw nate's roommate's friend from high school, so we talked to him and his roommate, who works at the place where 311 played.

    etc.

    I'm too old for this. this isn't even that fun. I should probably just choose one of the guys I know already to fall in love, get married, buy a house and have children, etc., with, because my chances of meeting someone interesting in a bar are about none. maybe less.

    my time's almost up, anyway. I told my ex-boyfriend I'd reconsider in november. and we're practically halfway there.


By Cyst on Sunday, October 10, 1999 - 02:09 pm:

    I misused the word "whom" in my previous post. I should have said "who."

    this morning I called a single geek friend of mine. he's been very excited to hear that this single chick friend of mine just moved to town.

    he was even more excited to hear that she said she "want(s) to meet rich computer programmers" and "really like(s) casual sex."

    I feel like santa claus.


By Fuck grammar on Sunday, October 10, 1999 - 02:21 pm:

    stop posting corrections to the grammar of your previous posts. then i have to go back and search the whole thing to find that one fucking sentence. I think you just do that so we'll read you twice.

    by the way, i've seen you using "me" in your predicate ("me and my friend went...") and i think brackets, not parentheses, is more appropriate when adding your own changes to a quote.

    but i don't care. i like you better ungrammatical.


By Cyst on Sunday, October 10, 1999 - 02:54 pm:

    "me and my friend" is colloquial.

    "whom I think was mentally ill" is not.

    I didn't realize my self-corrections were prompting anyone to read my posts twice. for that I am truly sorry and will consider not doing it anymore.

    I think I agree with what you said about brackets vs. parentheses. but, really, what's the difference? isn't it just like the difference between single quotes and double quotes?

    I guess if you use parentheses, it is assumed that the speaker actually said everything within the quotes. and brackets indicate that the transcriptionist added the changes?

    and sorry about my use of passive structure in this post (see previous paragraph and this sentence, don't review the entire message).


By F.g. on Sunday, October 10, 1999 - 04:43 pm:

    i was just fucking with you, cyst. i've got a raging hangover and searching for "whom....mentally ill" was a trial. i wasn't being...y'know...pendantic; i was being a grumbling drunk.

    anyway, i read someplace that they're trying to phase "whom" out of the language.

    "me and [whoever]" is noticeable because you try to be so careful with your grammar otherwhise. i had no idea it was officially "colloquial."

    that brackets and parentheses thing may just be my own personal fetish.

    and i read your posts twice, sometimes, without even being prompted. 'specially when it's 'bout sex.


By Semillama on Sunday, October 10, 1999 - 06:55 pm:

    I should have known something was going here besides Ice Cream sandwichs.


    The undercurrent of "this is getting boring" is seeming to pop up quite a bit. I'd like to point out that this page saves my life. I have absolutly nobody to talk to here (in the physical plane)that I can relate to. However, There's tons of folks here, whom I consider friends and relate to quite well. (Did I just misuse whom? Fuck it.) Hell, who says the conversation has to be on a stephen hawking level the whole time?

    Cyst, I don't think you have to worry about boring anyone here. I might, since nothing happens around here, but you don't. I am half tempted to set you up w/ my buddy Jake, who lives out there. How do you feel about British -American guys with sligth weight problems, musical tastes that rival or beat even Swine's, and fantastically creative senses of humor? I vouch for this guy completely, I've been friends with him for about my entire life.


By Cyst on Sunday, October 10, 1999 - 09:17 pm:

    I don't think "the art of courtly love" by andreas capellanus is on the internet.

    I think I'm going to put it there.

    it's my practice web page.

    I thought it would be fun, to reread it and really get into it by typing out the text, but it now seems so irrelevant. love, infatuation, sex, crushes? huh?

    it's to the point where all this going out and getting dressed up and drinking in bars is like some sort of academic activity, I don't know, like a lab in chemistry class. I shouldn't do it anymore. if for no other reason than it's too expensive.

    I was stupid again today. I went to powell's technical books with my friend so I could help him hit on the coffee chick or whatever. she wasn't there.

    anyway, I was looking in my purse for the starbucks mints I am addicted to and found some photos that I have showed to just about everyone except for him. they'd probably be on the web if my patron put them up like he said he would. or if my friend got around to unhooking his scanner and letting me borrow it like he said he would.

    they're not personal photos. I mean, I guess they would be to a normal person, but to me, they're just sort of neat, like, look, isn't that cool the way the horizontal stripes of light from the venetian blinds fall on that long expanse of bare skin? I've showed them to a metal worker in a titty bar, to a lesbian friend of a friend, to my roommate, etc. my patron has a whole set and I told him he could show them to whomever he wanted.

    I guess since I don't sexually objectify myself, I don't really consider how they could be arousing to anyone else. I just think they look good. they're like my little art projects.

    so I showed them to him in the store, hoping he would just flip through them and give them back, but

    I am so dumb.



By Cyst on Sunday, October 10, 1999 - 09:33 pm:

    sem - what does british-american mean?


By Semillama on Monday, October 11, 1999 - 02:24 am:

    Parents are English immigrants, he was born here.

    His dad works in the same department as my dad (humanities) and his mom is responsible for bringing all the cool artists and musicians to Michigan tech for the "Great Events" series. She's a complete treasure for it, she's responsible for the Reduced Shakespeare Company making a Houghton a stop on every tour of theirs, she's brought folks like Joshua Redman, Dirty Dozen Brass Band, the Holmes Brothers, Inti-Raymi, Battlefield Band, Alvin Ailey Dance Theatre, and the like to what would otherwise be a cultural backwater.

    Anyway, where I was going was to remark that being raised by British parents in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan gives him a pretty unique accent. We both share a vast appreciation for the horribly tacky parts of american culture, such as the mullet, Mr. Roper, the persona of Burt reynolds, and every awful b-movie ever made, including Rajin' Cajun, Carnivore, and 2000 Maniacs, a movie which I have made my holy quest to someday own. He makes the most insane mix tapes ever. The last one had stuff by Kinky Friedman and the Texas Jewboys, Middle Eastern and Indian pop music, and music made with a mutated speak'n'spell.


By Markus on Monday, October 11, 1999 - 08:07 am:

    Cyst, if it will help, I'll flip through them and then give them back.

    And then go on to explain any aspect of the male species that even a clever anthropologist like yourself seemingly overlooks form time to time. They're simple creatures, really. You can't go far wrong if you keep that in mind, and don't project complicated motivations onto them.


By Cyst on Monday, October 11, 1999 - 10:04 am:

    I've seen 2000 maniacs.

    the south's gonna rise again.

    I'll try to get the photos out on the obscene and worthless web, where they belong.

    one of my parents is a british emigrant.

    I would have pizza and see a $3 movie with your friend, sem, but it couldn't be like a real date. and he should probably be warned in advance that I'm working with much less than the normal range of standard human emotions.


By Semillama on Tuesday, October 12, 1999 - 09:38 pm:

    Damn, the heck with him, If I make it out there this spring ( a 50/50 chance) to visit my pals, I think I would like to go hang out with you. That's it, just hang out.

    It was the "I've seen 2000 Maniacs" that got me determined, you know.

    anyone who has seen that movie is some one I want to talk to face to face.


    AHYUM goon-ah gyit me a Cay-yut an' have me-uh sum Fuh-uhn!


By Cyst on Tuesday, October 12, 1999 - 10:12 pm:

    you drink beer, semillama? I'll buy you one.


By Cyst on Wednesday, October 13, 1999 - 09:57 am:

    last night he called me and said he'd just spent $177 on sushi takeout for her and the girl, but they only ate a few bites and were going to throw the rest away.

    instead of impressing me, this sort of made me sad. like, instead of spending $177 on food you weren't hungry for, couldn't you have just spent $75 and sent me the rest to pay my health insurance with?

    I think this weekend he's going to fly me out there and spend more money than I earn in a month on me and then try to seduce me.

    whatever. I didn't have any plans anyway.


By Semillama on Friday, October 15, 1999 - 11:44 am:

    I liked the Terminator stout when I was at McMenamin's. Actually, I think the bar has another name as well. It's the one in downtown Portland and there's a club or perfomance spot on the second floor. Big Bad Voodoo Daddy was playing there when I was at the bar.


By ________ on Friday, October 15, 1999 - 12:02 pm:

    big ben porter kicks ass.


By Agatha on Friday, October 15, 1999 - 12:57 pm:

    oh great, it's that line guy again.


By Nate on Friday, October 15, 1999 - 01:52 pm:

    i wonder who he is.


    i remember this friendly guy who used frequent here. he was big on porter.

    he even bought porter mustard.

    wtf was that guy's name? i'D hAVE to say i'm drawing a blank.


By Waffles on Friday, October 15, 1999 - 02:05 pm:

    i'm drawing a line


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