strawberry-flavoured soy milk. "serious strawberry" it's called. it's not bad. it's so sick i like it. but it's making me crave salt. CHIPS I WANT CHIPS!

when i think liquid lunch i think boilermakers.

or martinis. i like the places that serve you a martini in a pint jar.

Martinis are awful. They taste like sick metallic wood. Bailey's....now that's good stuff.

dirty girl scout: shot baileys shot kalhua shot vodka and a little creme de menthe martinis are great. good gin is key. try tanq. malaaca gin w/ olive and onion.

rule #6616.125(a): beware of anybody who tells you that a cocktail made with onions, olives, dry vermouth and gin is anything other than fucking disgusting. be particularly wary if they try to tell you that miserable concoction is "great." people like that just can't be trusted.

don't listen to swine - he's a girl-drink drunk.

watch it droopy. swine nearly kicked the shit out of me when i told him those fruity rum drinks with the umbrella and shit are for chicks.

cosmopolitans: a good compromise.

the martini is foul schwagg for trendy sheep. you dis rum punch and you dis the official drink of the caribbean nations. wars have been fought over less. and i know where you live.

"there's naught, no doubt, so much the spirit calms, as rum and true religion." i have nothing against rum - put it in a glass and i'll drink it; but if you start adding sugar and fruit juice and all that shit, it makes me want to puke. to me it seems unnatural. maybe it's just 'cause my ancestors were pale, washed-out celtic bastards, but i gots to have it where i can feel the alcohol going down. i had no idea what swine drank, by the way. i was just reminded of an old kids in the hall bit in which a guy becomes addicted to "girl-drinks". instead of nipping from a flask at work he has rush off to a storeroom where he keeps a blender and umbrellas and shit. it was funny.

okay 2 nips khalua, 1 of malibu, over ice. sip and relax

I like 'shirley temples'!!!

vodka. ice. bourbon. ice. gin. vermouth. olive. drinking is easy and fun.

drinking is easy and fun bartender! one more! kneeling down, cold toilet bowl.

i used to fancy myself as janis joplin and drink shots of tequila, with lemons and salt.......... then she died................................... now, i just fancy myself as me, and drink mountain dew, because i get migraine headaches from alcohol.....(that's how i got hooked on pain pills for so long) (pain pills to ease the pain of the migraines from drinking the alcohol)............. once, i thought i was grace slick and dropped acid......at a vanilla fudge concert and then they scared me when they performed "season of the witch".......AND i got my senior picture taken the next day...i had the biggest eyes in the senior class..............................................well, guess i'm rambling, now................

i love donovan.

sorry, i seem to be lost in the late '60's at times.........I DID try drinking for a while as a replacement for my drug crutch......I drank Mickey's Big Mouth.........i guess i identified with it..........

Two fortie's St. Ides Black'd out with girl on my lap They have it on tape

can i rent it from blockbuster ???

drunk Day On The Green got beat up by Oakland cops passed out, lost my car

i think we have the two haiku winners right here, sarah.

ok, 'llama and simon win the haiku contest. now you guys got it duke it out to see who gets to be Satan's Severed Head. ding ding round one!

Which would taste better? Satan's severed head flambe Or Tawny Kitaen?

I'll have to defer to 'llama... he's got videotape.

Gaze out his sockets Semillama triumphant Wear the severed head