Because I accidentally ate boeuf today, a long pointless story emerged, having to do with the time I temped at Simplot, the place that grows potatoes in conjunction with producing fertilizer, the kind you can blow up stuff with; this was immediately before the Great Pancreas Implosion. Now I am so ill at ease here that I can't even go on with it. Suffice to say that if you are a vegetarian, do not eat hash browns at restaurants, especially fast food places. They are made with beef tallow. Yes, beef tallow. It happened to me in my own home. When I was in rehab, they thought I was bulimic because I disappeared after lunch each day. I disappeared because that was my secret phone call appointment, and anyway it was my roommate who threw up all the time, trying desperately to be as thin as me. I'm saying that I cannot puke at will, so the boeuf is just festering in there, occupying my body and my mind without relief. I said "these are GREAT hash browns, I'll HAVE SOME MORE" and carried my favorite salt mill with me into the room where I love to eat and read at the same time, on the bed with the dogs. I hadn't checked the label, and I always check the label. Now I'm going to burn in Hell because of Idaho, just like everyone predicted. See, it's all connected.

Is nothing sacred?

apparently not.

damn. i mean: apparently not.

boooo! I thought I's be peeking at Dave's secret website and all I saw was a letter to RC about her computer. what kind of secret website is that?! man.

IT'S POSTED THERE? GOOD GOD -- IS NOTHING SACRED AROUND THIS PLACE?????!!!!!?????! [SO, now that I have been THOROUGHLY HUMILIATED --TWICE IN ONE DAY, NO LESS -- won't someone at least email me instructions on how to get this damn NetZero software to work? PLEEEASSE? Dave -- I'm gonna eviscerate you... As Soon as Cleo finishes college.

You really shoulda taken that shit down, Dave. It's bad enuf I can hardly ever manage to get into the boards from home (altho' for the pastfew days/all has been strangely well) becuz I'm such a computer cretin that I can't figure out how to get a free ISP browser to work. Much less DialUp networking. AND WHERE"S THET DAMN ZIP FILE YOU WERE SENDING ME?

And Sheila -- I had no idea you were vegetarian. But yr intestines willforgive you. Eventually. Take some cascara sagrada & This Too Shall Pass.

what's all the hubbub, bub? i don't see any reason to be humiliated. shame on you, gee. see what you've done now?

I'm sorry. If I'd known dial-up networking instructions would humiliate RC, I never would have read them.

It's just that nearly everyone aounrd this place either A)works in IT B)has a web page/so they at least know how to write code/or C)just seems to be so much more computer savvy than moi. Which is embarassing. For someone who spends 8-10 hrs. a day in front of a computer &/or online (we are acutally allowed to use the Web at work to locate cities by longitude & latitude/or whatever other clueswe have/when someone sends in a payment for a tower lease that we can't identify. Which doesn't stop any of us from surfing & checking personal email.) I shd've known better than to delete my DialUp folder in the 1st place. But I had never used it/so I figured why have it clogging up my hardrive, y'know? But I guess it's no different than driving a car. I can do that too/but if I had to change the oil myself/or find the mainfold intake/I'd be screwed.

Sheila, I'm stealing that first paragraph verbatim for the opening of a novel. Just so you know.