at work.. :D

I eat almost every meal at work. I also cook them there :P

This AM, had a bowl of Special K and a bagel w/cream cheese. Lunch was two slices of Pesto Chicken Pizza!

i had two prairie (not rocky mountain) oysters and salted coffee.

i cooked and ate a mixed vegetable and roasted garlic fritata with asiago cheese sprinkled on top. also, an orange and a mug of green tea; later, a cup of coffee. i am craving ooey gooey warm fudge brownies. not the box kind either.

Sauteed mushrooms. That and two cups of coffee. That is what I have eaten today.

i have baked 83 pies since thanksgiving. i am trying to arrest myself.

just smoked a joint so know telling what im fixin to eat =P

I had a bowl of Optimum cereal for breakfast, the "Poblano Lunch" (chicken burrito and enchilada with mole and spanish rice) with a ton of fresh made tortilla chips, Chicken Vindaloo with a Guinness for dinner, and just now an EAS Advant-edge bar. god I'm so stressed out.

did you bake that many pies for a bake sale? fundraiser? for the geese? who eats that much pie? i need help with pecan pie. it's a sad affair as it is currently. comes out like goo.

btw sheila. i have really really missed you. **************** going off the pill freed me (if only temporarily...) from physically arresting food cravings and general carb obsessions. i only lasted 5 months on the pill before it ruined my life. i can now safely return to my belief that ingesting artifical hormones is the most evil thing one can do to one's body. this morning i ate no breakfast. no appetite.

me too! the pill sucked

I hated the pill. Had every side effect in the book. Got pregnant while on it. I only lasted about 6 months on it. The pill sucked.

im pretty sure my wife would agree too. im saving up.

i'm going to make vegetarian sushi today. gonna wrap it in blanched spinach leaves. umumumum. i've never made sushi before, but i promised the people that i do life drawing with. how hard could it be?

The pill made me question whether certain personality traits of mine were really just a result of lacking estrogen. Shook me to the core.

Why is it so shocking to most people that personality and body chemistry are linked? Serious question, not a jab.

i'm not shocked by it at all. in fact, i presume that we all are little modules of chemicals and neurological activities and that 99% of "who we are" is a direct effect of that. the pill just so happens to have a profound effect on body chemistry resulting in correspodingly profound effects on behavior and emotions.

Because I had thought that I was a certain way because of experiences I had / decisions I had made / beliefs I held / natural temperament, not because of some trifling hormone. The pill made me behave in ways that I thought were contrary to my nature, but since the pill balanced out an imbalance, doesn't that mean that the new me was the true me? That was a horrifying thought. So now I'm off the pill. And my hormones seem to have balanced out on their own, and my personality is the same as it ever was. Hooray. Maybe this is why some people refuse Prozac.

people are not prescribed prozac for personality problems or disorders. if you're an asshole, prozac won't make you suddenly charming. all it does it, so far, is balance out the brain chemistry so you can stop crying long enough to get out of bed and think clearly enough to recognize what the problem is and how to solve it.

After reading what Sarah wrote, I think the underlying question is whether or not the mind is immaterial. I very strongly believe in mind/body duality, and this was a piece of evidence that contradicted my hypothesis, and jeez, when it's your own selfhood at stake, that's quite a blow. There's a lot of data that's used as evidence for mind/body monism (for example, it's been shown that talk therapy reduced overactivity in a particular part of the brain in OCD patients in exactly the same degree as medication), but I don't think there's enough to definitively prove either side's case. I easily accept that there is a connection between mind and body, but I'm not content to make any reductions. What do you think?

i think i'm hungry and will regretably eat fast food for lunch because i only have $5 and in order to eat remotely healthy around here you need at least $7.

Sarah, I guess the difference between Prozac and the pill was that with the pill, my starting state was the better one. If I had been a ball of rage before the pill and the pill made me calmer and more patient, then I'd certainly take it. The opposite was true, though. The same identity questions would remain, though. I think people are reluctant to accept healing in whatever form it takes because we can become very attached to our pain. It can become the only stable thing we have, and so we identify with it, and the thought of losing it can be frightening.

Maybe I was just a bitch to begin with. I didn't notice any difference on the pill. It does affect some people differently, though.

i want to know who's to say that calmer and more patient is better hey. or maybe it just changes your perception- you're actually nicer but you feel like you're meaner.

this morning i ate 1/2 a protein bar and a huge glazed cinnamon roll. and green tea.

1/2 a salt bagel with scallion cream cheese. Way too salty. Had to pitch the other 1/2.

bagels are the most boring food imaginable, next to wonder bread.

I love boring bagels. I had coffee again. And some sourdough toast. Won't have much of anything for a while as the apartment complex has shut off all water for the rest of the day to do "repairs" on our crappy ass water system.

Spider, by saying "I believe" you make any evidence irrelevant.

i believe in miracles, you sexy thang.

i believe i should bake cookies tonight.

That's not necessarily true, Antigone. First, it depends on how you're using the word "believe," and second, I can come to believe in something based on the examination of evidence. You could replace the phrase "I strongly believe in" in my post above with "I support the existence of" or "I am convinced of the existence of" mind/body duality.

I was convinced of the existence of my cinnamon roll. I ate it, and now it is no longer. If I still believe in it, does this constitute an act of faith? When it comes out my other end, will it be akin to a resurrection? Have I found religion at last? They really, really are "Happy Donuts", aren't they?

If your continued existence in your eaten cinnamon roll has anything at all to do with Platonic forms, I'm out.

rats. now i want a cinnamon roll.

i heat them up and eat the warm, gooey inner coils first. the outer coils sometimes are too dry and not worth eating, so i'll eat the inner coils of another one instead. every thursday a mysterious "they" brings in krispie kremes and cinnamon rolls to both the kitchens in the admin bldg where i work. the accounting ladies... they go nuts. i see them pass by the kitchen, gazing longingly at the treats. others call each other from the kitchen phone for moral support. "Carol, do you want me to bring you back another doughnut?" and out they go with a plate containing two or more doughnuts. it's crazy. texans are crazy.

accounting department here always has snacks. EVERY DAMN DAY OF THE WEEK! be it candies, cookies, cakes, whatever. i guess their jobs are so ridiculously boring otherwise, it helps them through the day but boy are they developing a serious case of office ass. in my department we smoke.

What about Cinnabon's, sarah? Do they have them near you? They serve them up warm, and completely covered in a thick glaze..large as a cat's head. They come with pecans too if you want them. I'll eat maybe one of them every few months because I know that there is a finite amount that one can eat before succumbing to massive coronary failure. The ones that I eat more regularly come from the local "Happy Donuts", and are much more modest on the food-as-sin scale.

i don't like doughnuts. honestly. i have never eaten a Cinnabon, mostly because i'm afraid of the addiction factor. i mean, you don't miss what you've never had, and treats like that are very dangerous to my all encompassing fear of losing control of my eating forever and ever and gaining back 100 lbs.

I don't eat any sweets, donuts, cinnamon rolls, anything with icing. I just don't like them.

Cinnabons are to die for. With a large strong coffee, I'm good to go for days. Salt Lake City airport has one. I always seem to get one when I'm flying through there. You're right about the dry coils on the outside of some cinnamon rolls, sarah. Nasty nasty.

Bangkok has a Cinnabon. Before I went up to Northern Thailand, I totally pigged out and put on enough weight to survive a week of rice and humidity. Normally I come back from Thailand looking like a stick and at least a bra size smaller, but this time I was only a few pounds down. Cinnabon saved my tits!

If I had any tits to save I would actually try some Cinnabon. Maybe if I eat enough of them, I could gain some weight and get some of my tits back. Anyone know if they have any in San Antonio?

I had a little avocado/tomato/olive thing with olive oil, dill, and balsamic. A sandwich. And a yummy lemon tart thing. I almost got a twelve foot octupus, last night. I was in the parking lot of the supermarket and I heard a man talking on his cell phone about how to cook octupus. "Hey," I said, "I know how to cook octupus!" "My son just pulled in a twelve foot octupus, and he doesn't know what to do with it," the man said. Of course, intrepid octupus fiend that I am, I said "I'll take it!" And the man said "ok, I'll have to see what my son wants to do with it." He's supposed to call me tonight. I love that this is such a small place that it's ok for me to give strange men my phone number. It turns out he used to be my best friend's baby sitter or something. Wierd. anyway, he hasn't called back yet.

octopus: sounds yummy, but i probably wouldn't eat unless under specific circumstances. i just made ramen. with peas and carrots and mushrooms and bell pepper and cilantro. and some leftover spinach sushi that i made yesterday. mmmm. i miss calamari. if i ever ate meat again, it would be either sashimi or calamari. yummy.

I just ate a reeses peanut butter cup. they are really hard to get here, so whenever I see them I buy about three packs.mmmm bad evil thing. Oh, and Dr.Oop. It's 'I believe that Mel's cool'. Which makes sense if you know mine and Gee's names.

I eat things I kill. The octupus was...very much alive the last time I saw it, although it probably would have been pretty tough since it's so big. Sadly, he ended up selling it to a resturant, so I suppose I'll never know.

i like your theology on eating. octopus is very very nice to eat when it can be had and when it isn't sadly overcooked. i heard once that some people put octopus into the washing machine to tenderize it.

(i get it) i believe mel's a sexy thang.

Well, first you get all the icky stuff out. Then you peel off the icky outer layer. Then you beat the shit out of them.

ah the internet. where imagination roams free

this morning i didn't eat breakfast. thursdays being the cinnamon roll day means thursdays are my Free Day. yesterday afternoon i had two or three of those little easter egg candy size butterfinger chocolate thingies, a bunch of peanuts, and when i got home, after having steak and salad for supper, i made a half batch of no-bake oatmeal peanut butter chocolate cookies and ate about 3/4 of them, half of that before they even cooled off. so yeah. no appetite this morning. that's the thing about peanut butter... still feel kinda full. in spite of my Days Off, or perhaps because of them, it appears i'm on my way to getting the eating/weight thing back under control. i'm doing a modified Body For Life program (working out harder and smarter, not longer) and it works. i may not be getting thinner, but my muscles are getting bigger than they ever have before, it's almost spooky.

btw, Cat. "cinnabon saved my tits" made me spew coffee all over the place. you crack me up!

Sarah, can you tell me how much you can lift/press doing various exercises? I want to be inspired. My arms are appallingly weak. I do 3 sets of 10 reps on that upside-down push-up type machine, set at 15 lbs., and I'm dying around rep # 28. But I can press 110 lbs. with my legs (3 sets of 10) and I'm fine. I need to spread that strength around.

octopus pl. octopuses, octopods, octopodes octopi is wrong the most highly developed of the cephalopods octopuses have three hearts change color and texture quickly quite intelligent octopuses can be taught to distinguish shapes and colors to pull corks from bottles to unscrew lids are monogamous

oh boy. ok, but just remember... you asked for it. this is from memory. CHEST Dumbell Press set one, 12 reps - 22.5 lbs (per dumbell) set two, 12 reps - 25 lbs set three, 10-12 reps - 27.5 lbs set four, 8-10 reps - 30 lbs followed immediately by another 8-10 reps with 20 lbs dumbells or i'll do regular, horizontal bench press. i never have anyone to spot me, so i have to use the one that has the barbell locked between the steel plates and the little rungs up and down it. Bench Press set one, 12 reps - barbell plus 50 lbs (25 lb plate on each side) set two, 12 reps - barbell plus 50 lbs set three, 8-10 reps - barbell plus 60 lbs set four, 6-8 reps (if i'm lucky) - barbell plus 60 lbs Flys set one - 12 lbs (per dumbell) set two - 15 lbs set three - 15 lbs set four - 17.5 lbs Incline Press (hammer strength machine) set one - 25 lbs (each arm) set two - 30 lbs set three - 30 lbs (i'm getting REAL tired about now) Lower Chest Press (hammer strength) set one - 30 lbs (each arm) set two - 35 lbs set three - 35 lbs then i do two sets of triceps. overhead press, 3 sets, 10-12 reps, w/ 20 or 22.5 lb dumbell. tricep extensions (on my back) 3 sets of 10-12 reps, 10-12 lbs each arm. or the the bar and pulley press down thing, 3 sets, 10-12 reps, anywhere from 30-50 lbs, depending on how weak/strong i'm feeling. BACK Pull Downs set one, 12 reps - 70 lbs set two, 12 reps - 80 lbs set three, 10-12 reps - 85 lbs set four, 10 reps - 90 lbs Upright Row set one, 12 reps - 50 lbs set two, 12 reps - 60 lbs set three, 10-12 reps - 70 lbs set four, 8-10 reps - 80 lbs (PAIN!) then i started doing this new exercise that hurts like all get out. you use what i think is called a standard bar bell. it's a long, straight bar with weights on each end. i bend over at the waist, stagger my legs (bent for support), and i stay bent over and i pull up the barbell, starting with my arms extended all the way down in front of my knees, and then pulling my arms up, elbows tucked in and up toward the ceiling. you gotta have a REALLY STRONG lower back to do this one and you gotta be real careful. i have no idea what this one is called. i'll call it Bend Over Row :) Bend Over Row set one, 12 reps - 45 lb barbell set two, 12 reps - 50 lb barbell set three, 10-12 reps - 50 lb barbell Lawnmowers set one, 12 reps - 17.5 lbs dumbell (each arm) set two, 12 reps - 20 lbs set three, 10-12 reps - 22.5 lbs Lower Back Raises set one, 12 very slow reps - my own body weight set two, 12 very slow reps - my own body weight set three, 10 very slow reps - my own body weight sometimes i'll get on the Gravitron and do some pull ups, just playing around trying to see how much of my own body weight i can lift three times in row. but by that time i'm totally fatigued, so it's not much. then i'll do some biceps. Bicep Curls with dumbells: set one, 12 reps - 12 lb dumbells set two, 12 reps - 12 lbs set three, 8-10 reps - 15 lbs or with crooked barbell: set one, 12 reps - 30 lbs set two, 12 reps - 30 lbs set three, 8-10 reps - 35 lbs Hammer Curls set one, 12 reps - 12 lb dumbells set two, 12 reps - 12 lbs set three, 8-10 reps - 15 lbs LEGS Leg Press set one, 12 reps - 230 lbs (i'm not kidding... two 45 lb plates and one 25 lbs plate on each side) set two, 12 reps - 250 lbs set three, 10-12 reps - 270 lbs set four, 8-10 reps - 290 lbs (three plates each side) maybe set five, 6-8 reps - 290 lbs then i'll either do gluteus extensions or hamstring curls next. whichever i do next depends on which machine is open. and i'll do 4 sets of the next exercise and 3 sets the following exercise. in terms of number of sets per muscle group, i'm always doing 4-4-3-3. Glut Extensions set one, 12 reps - 120 lbs (one leg at a time) set two, 12 reps - 130 lbs set three, 12 reps - 140 lbs set four, 10-12 reps - 140 lbs Hamstring Curls set one, 12 reps - 45 lbs set two, 12 reps - 50 lbs set three, 10-12 reps - 55 lbs set four, 10 reps - 55 lbs Leg Extensions (Quads) set one, 12 reps - 40 lbs set two, 12 reps - 45 lbs set three, 10-12 reps - 50 lbs (i probably could do 55 lbs, but haven't tried because these fuckers hurt like hell by the time i get there.) then i do abs. i don't do crunches unless i'm holding a dumbell up over my head. i use a 20 lb dumbell and do a bending, twisting thing. or i do this other thing on an incline abs bench. too difficult to explain... using abs to push your feet toward the ceiling, followed by leg raises. SHOULDERS Shoulder Press seated machine: set one, 12 reps - 25 lbs (both arms) set two, 12 reps - 30 lbs set three, 12 reps - 35 lbs set four, 10-12 reps - 40 lbs or standing free weights: set one, 12 reps - 15 lbs (each arm) set two, 12 reps - 15 lbs set three, 10-12 reps - 17.5 lbs set four, 8-10 reps - 20 lbs Lateral Raises set one, 12 reps - 10 lbs (each arm) set two, 12 reps - 10 lbs set three, 10 reps - 12 lbs Upright row set one, 12 reps - 17.5 lbs dumbells (each arm) set two, 12 reps - 20 lbs lbs set three, 10-12 reps - 22.5 lbs set four, 8-10 reps - 25 lbs then i'll do either front raises for anterior development or rear delt row. i change it each time. front raises i find incredibly boring and time-consuming. Front Raises set one, 12 reps - 15 lb dumbells (each arm) set two, 12 reps - 15 lb set three, 10-12 reps - 15 lb Rear Delt Row set one, 12 reps - 45 lbs set two, 12 reps - 50 lb set three, 10-12 reps - 55 lb so yeah, that's about it. lifting four days a week. two of the other days i do a 20-25 minute high intensity cardio workout, but never more than 25 minutes. sometimes on shoulder days i'll squeeze in a 15-25 minute high intensity cardio workout too. i always take one day off, usually Thursdays or Fridays.

jesus. that sounds horrible. (scrabble)

(it's hala's turn)

(okay, mwah)

what a girlie workout!

i hope sem reads all of that. as much as i wanted to help spider, i'm really hoping to impress sem with how strong i am :) it's not horrible. the whole process takes about one hour, including a 5-7 minute warm-up. (smoooch)

dave, how much you wanna bet i could bench press you, at least once?

Holy shit, Sarah. That is so cool. How long have you been weight-lifting? Two years?

you can bench 300?

probably not. but i definitely could leg press you. so there.

thanks Spider! it's been more like three years. one full year with Lonny. the first year i didn't really know what i was doing. when i started i aleady had lost a lot of weight just by diet and exercise, but wasn't body building. hiring lonny was the difference between dicking around on machines and seeing very little progress in terms of muscle development and being the He-Woman i am today. or maybe the Hee-Haw-Woman. because i mean, no matter what i do, i can't see to get rid of what feels like and appears in the mirror to be an enormously disproportionate amount of fat on my booty. big ol' lumpy booty. but whatever. i *gotta* get over that. i am who i am and i'm not perfect, but i've come a long way. the therapist told me to look at myself in the mirror twice a day and say something like "i am perfect (or beautiful?) the way i am right now, and i have it in my power to change anything i want." i like the second part of that sentence quite a lot. i guess it just goes to show how lucky i am that this stupid issue is the most troubling thing in my life, and what a big baby i really am.

wow. this prozac shit really helps.