asparagus challenge


sorabji.com: What are you eating?: asparagus challenge
THIS IS A READ-ONLY ARCHIVE FROM THE SORABJI.COM MESSAGE BOARDS (1995-2016).

By Nate on Friday, February 15, 2008 - 03:45 pm:

    As you may already know, I am fascinated by the way food translates through the human body. I think it started after eating a bag of blue raspberry gummy sharks when I was a kid. Something about turning your piss bright blue.

    For the same reason, I adore riboflavin.

    Several years ago I ate 2lbs of beets with the goal of dyeing toilet bowls with my shit. Purple piss, purple shit, for days.

    Today, it isn't about color. At the hot bar I frequent, they had a heaping pile of roasted asparagus, fresh from the oven.

    My body is about 1% asparagus at the moment.

    I'll keep you updated.


By droopy on Friday, February 15, 2008 - 04:25 pm:

    my asparagus connection is the german restaurant i always go to. germans love asparagus, even have a festival for it. i have been told - by germans - that the known side effect of excessive asparagus consumption is stinky urine. keep me updated.


By platypus on Friday, February 15, 2008 - 05:59 pm:

    Oddly enough, I had an asparagus feast yesterday, and I am still noticing the effects. I need to up my water intake, I think.


By Nate on Friday, February 15, 2008 - 06:04 pm:

    two urinations so far with no noticeable odor. i have smelled the asparagus pee before, so i know i am one of those who have the gene to smell it.

    it should have hit by now. my pee is a nice, greenish color. i am disappointed by these results.

    "...what fascinated me would be the asparagus, tinged with ultramarine and rosy pink which ran from their heads, finely stippled in mauve and azure, through a series of imperceptible changes to their white feet, still stained a little by the
    soil of their garden-bed: a rainbow-loveliness that was not of this world.

    I felt that these celestial hues indicated the presence of exquisite creatures who had been pleased to assume vegetable form, who, through the
    disguise which covered their firm and edible flesh, allowed me to discern in this radiance of earliest dawn, these hinted rainbows, these blue
    evening shades, that precious quality which I should recognise again when, all night long after a dinner at which I had partaken of them, they played (lyrical and coarse in their jesting as the fairies in Shakespeare's _Dream_) at transforming my humble chamber into a bower of aromatic perfume."
    -marcel proust


By Nate on Friday, February 15, 2008 - 06:15 pm:

    what a shitty translation that is. perfumed chamber? methinks not... "à changer mon pot de chambre en un vase de parfum."

    ...

    "...les asperges, trempées d’outremer et de rose et dont l’épi, finement pignoché de mauve et d’azur, se dégrade insensiblement jusqu’au pied,—encore souillé pourtant du sol de leur plant,—par des irisations qui ne sont pas de la terre. Il me semblait que ces nuances célestes trahissaient les délicieuses créatures qui s’étaient amusées à se métamorphoser en légumes et qui, à travers le déguisement de leur chair comestible et ferme, laissaient apercevoir en ces couleurs naissantes d’aurore, en ces ébauches d’arc-en-ciel, en cette extinction de soirs bleus, cette essence précieuse que je reconnaissais encore quand, toute la nuit qui suivait un dîner où j’en avais mangé, elles jouaient, dans leurs farces poétiques et rossières comme une féerie de Shakespeare, à changer mon pot de chambre en un vase de parfum."


By Dr Pepper on Friday, February 15, 2008 - 09:27 pm:

    so you can piss color? wtf?


By Nate on Saturday, February 16, 2008 - 01:04 am:

    it is well documented.


By Antigone on Saturday, February 16, 2008 - 02:18 am:

    Roasted asparagus drizzled in olive oil with a sprinkle of sea salt.

    Ya, dat sounds good right now.


By sarah on Saturday, February 16, 2008 - 05:08 pm:


    in our household we don't even use the word asparagus, we just call it "stinky pee". as in, we're having salmon and stinky pee for dinner tonight.

    formerly, we called it asper gas.




By semillama on Monday, February 18, 2008 - 01:06 pm:


By agatha on Monday, February 18, 2008 - 02:29 pm:

    I had stinky pee yesterday after eating a quantity of asparagus quiche. It was the usual color, though.


By heather on Monday, February 18, 2008 - 03:54 pm:

    i have never had strangely colored body fluids, i am a bit disappointed by this. maybe i just didn't check? maybe my kidneys are rainbows.


By platypus on Monday, February 18, 2008 - 05:01 pm:

    My pee has never changed color after eating asparagus, but it turns pink if I eat enough beets. Which has sometimes caused panic, as I think I am pissing blood and then I remember that I had beets.


By droopy on Tuesday, February 19, 2008 - 01:09 am:

    my pee often looks strange. once i was at a urologist and gave a sample. the dr. took one look at it, seemed startled, came over to me and listened to my heart with his stethescope then felt my forehead.

    he said: "do you feel all right?"

    i said "yeah."

    "all right," he said. "i think you have an infection. let me send it to the lab and we'll get you some antibiotics."

    a couple of days later i called his office to see what was going on. i got a nurse who told me i "didn't have any growth" and didn't need antibiotics. i didn't ask.


    today i made horseslaw for lunch. i have a jar of onion dill horseradish, so i chopped up some cabbage and carrots and tossed it all together with the horse radish dip. i let it sit for an hour and then ate for lunch it with a meatloaf sandwich (also with horseradish dip on it).

    i misjudged the strength of the horseradish. by the end of my meal, my eyes were watering and my nose was running. i can't tell how it effected my pee.


By Dr Pepper on Tuesday, February 19, 2008 - 01:29 am:

    I don't remember giving droopy a check up.....tee-heee!


By sarah on Wednesday, April 2, 2008 - 02:44 pm:


    i just ate about 3 cups of cooked lima beans.

    only because i was really hungry and that's all i had within reach.

    but now i'm wondering if in doing so i have inadvertently begun some kind of biological or physiological experiment.





By platypus on Wednesday, April 2, 2008 - 03:36 pm:

    I am going to go ahead and hypothesize that there is going to be some rumbling in your tumbly pretty soon.


By droopy on Wednesday, April 2, 2008 - 08:15 pm:

    sarah, i've been meaning to ask you: do you know anybody who would like a coon dog with a criminal record? we'll deliver.


By sarah on Thursday, April 3, 2008 - 09:33 am:


    experiment results are just now coming in.



    droop - i'll check with some folks in lago vista. how much rehab does he need?



    and i've been meaning to ask you, why do i never get invited down to the family land in oak hill?





By Dougie on Thursday, April 3, 2008 - 10:46 am:

    We planted purple asparagus last year (you don't get results the first year). Now, we have exactly 1 asparagus stalk, doing quite nicely at about 6 inches. No other signs of any other growth. Darn it.


By Nate on Thursday, April 3, 2008 - 11:46 am:

    I just planted a row of 20 2-year-old crowns of jersey supreme yesterday. My understanding is that it takes a few years to get to full harvest.

    The plan is to build a fence to keep the dogs out and then three vegetable beds. This is in the flat of the yard; going north the yard starts climbing a hill in a series of three-foot high terraces. The asparagus is planted in the first terrace above the planned garden. I had to remove a pair of rosemary bushes to make space for the row.

    Yesterday, when I was watering the newly planted plot, I decided to give Kingston a blast from the hose. Kingston is a five month old half-black lab, half-newfoundland puppy. He got a good soaking and then went and rolled in the pile of cut rosemary branches.

    He's a mild digger, and one of his "hang out" spots is along the retaining wall under the asparagus bed. I definitely need to get that fence in before I put the rest of the beds in. And I have have to get the rest of the flooring installed in the house before I work on the yard. We might miss the spring planting season this year.





By droopy on Thursday, April 3, 2008 - 02:16 pm:

    i picked up some cilantro, mint and basil plants when i was in austin. i haven't planted them yet, but i did use some of the cilantro in a dish.

    sarah - it's just never occured to me to ask. tell you what: if you can find somebody to take rawley the dog, we can all meet at rockmoor. the dog isn't dangerous, just rambunctious. it's my sister and brother-in-law's dog. i think they had him in a public park one day and he did something - jumped on somebody or something - in sight of a cop and got written up. so he has a criminal record in texas. my sister will be having her baby - who will be named sara - in april and she wants to get rid of the dog.

    rawley:"born to hunt"


By Dr Pepper on Friday, April 4, 2008 - 12:27 am:

    droopy, was that a rottweiler?


By droopy on Friday, April 4, 2008 - 04:20 pm:

    it's a coondog (coon dog, coonhound). rawley can look rottweiler-esque sometimes, but she's 100% redneck coondog.


By Dr Pepper on Friday, April 4, 2008 - 11:16 pm:

    My ex-wife and her husband had 3 rottweilers.


By droopy on Saturday, April 5, 2008 - 12:05 am:

    because a restraining order just wasn't enough?


By Dr Pepper on Saturday, April 5, 2008 - 11:11 am:

    No, they lived in a country, I believed it is for the protection. not the restraining. The dogs knows me well, and never bit me. They are awesome!


By Dr Pepper on Saturday, April 5, 2008 - 02:55 pm:

    droopy, about "rawley", it doesn't look like coondog, but it is much like a rottweiler.


By Jim aka Pajama on Sunday, April 6, 2008 - 05:13 pm:

    I was tasked at Thanksgiving with preparing the asparagus, and was required to use a specific already agreed upon recipe. One that called for truffle oil. This may be some high end stuff, but I thought it was the most vile smelling and tasting stuff I'd ever encountered. Well not as vile as tomatoes, but close!


By semillama on Tuesday, April 8, 2008 - 10:52 pm:

    Some damn redneck's dog chased us off a part of land we were supposed to survey today. Not even the redneck's property.


By Dr Pepper on Wednesday, April 9, 2008 - 01:24 am:

    redneck? sound like your in southern state? huh?


By patrick on Wednesday, April 9, 2008 - 07:41 pm:

    maybe he just wanted to herd you sem.

    i have an affinity for herding dogs. chloe herds. gathers, rounds, nips and yips. come together says the herd dog.


By semillama on Wednesday, April 9, 2008 - 10:10 pm:

    No, this definitely not herding behavior. This was "Come any closer to my house and I will bite your ass off" behavior.

    Not even a collar on the dog.

    Know how I know they're rednecks? They own as many dump trucks as normal vehicles. Plus they don't tie up their dogs.

    The chocolate lab that came out to see us was a sweetie, but kept his tail firmly between his legs. Wouldn't be surprised if that dog gets beaten.

    Indiana - not even really that nice a place to visit, and I definitely don't want to live here.


By Spider on Wednesday, April 9, 2008 - 11:39 pm:

    Indiana is a pit. My best friend lives in South Bend, and I've only visited her in her home once in the five or six years she's lived there, such is the repellent power of Indiana.


By Dr Pepper on Thursday, April 10, 2008 - 01:28 am:

    semillama, i lives closer to indiana.


By Danielssss on Thursday, April 10, 2008 - 02:09 pm:

    Valparaiso is a neat place and the indiana Dunes Park closeby. But so is Gary. What happened to the Great lakes we once knew?

    Indiana Wants me, Lord I can't go back there....


By Danielssss on Thursday, April 10, 2008 - 02:09 pm:

    Valparaiso is a neat place and the indiana Dunes Park closeby. But so is Gary. What happened to the Great lakes we once knew?

    Indiana Wants me, Lord I can't go back there....


By Dr Pepper on Thursday, April 10, 2008 - 02:17 pm:

    Danielsssss. I rode a commuter train from chicago,il to hammond,ind . The reason why i rode it from there is because indiana have powerball and the stake was somewhat over 300 million dollars, since we have megamillion in illinois, and i bought the lottery ticket, the trip was a okay.


By semillama on Thursday, April 10, 2008 - 05:04 pm:

    Last night at the Denny's next to our hotel, I overheard a waitress telling another waitress how she got married to a guy while she was still engaged to another guy.

    Good to be back in Ohio.


By sarah on Thursday, April 10, 2008 - 05:23 pm:


    senor and charlotte and i were sitting up at the bar at Trudy's (a resturant near our house). watching basketball and drinking margs. so this m must have been about 2 weeks ago.


    one of the waitresses went behind the bar, and was telling the bartender that there were two women in her section of the restaurant who had met up for dinner and it appeared they hadn't seen each other in a while and were catching up.


    turns out, freakishly enough, during the course of dinner and getting caught up on each other's lives, they discover they are both dating the same guy.


    so one of the women calls the guy up and says, hey, i'm at Trudy's having dinner, why don't you meet me?


    we stuck around as long as we could to see the fallout, but the game ended, we got tired, and went home.


    i wish i could have seen the look on that guy's face...




By Danielssss on Thursday, April 10, 2008 - 08:36 pm:

    Spent four glorious years there in Valrainsnow Windiana 69-73. Woke up in the wrong section of Gary In, hungover, bloody, and snow on my face. decided I needed to change something in my life. Just before that incident, I vaguely recalled one of my college brothers getting stabbed to death in the same neighborhood. But by gawd they had good tacos on the corner. I visit valpo every once in a while but avoid Gary (and Chicago) whenever possible.

    Surely, sarah, you would not any harm to come to such an unsuspecting man at Trudy's?


By sarah on Friday, April 11, 2008 - 03:57 pm:


    not necessarily.

    it was just the reality TV addict in me rearing its ugly head.







By Danielssss on Friday, April 11, 2008 - 04:16 pm:

    sounds like it would make a great tv clip...like an episode of Cheaters....are you planning trip to Senor's home turf this summer? come see me if you do.


By sarah on Sunday, April 13, 2008 - 11:15 pm:


    we're trying to get to st. louis.

    also trying to adjust financially to life with baby.




By agatha on Monday, April 14, 2008 - 12:53 pm:

    Wait until she starts asking you for trendy clothes and electronic equipment. They start getting really expensive then. You're in the cheap phase right now.

    It's Cleo's birthday on Thursday.


By Nate on Sunday, April 27, 2008 - 04:50 pm:

    After weeks of waiting, the first stalks of the asparagus fern are starting to emerge from their bed. I planted the crowns the first week of April.

    Yesterday I first saw them, spindly little stalks.

    This morning, I went through my morning chores. Fed the dogs, watered the garden, etc.

    Then, late morning, I observed that little 50lb demon 6 month old black lab digging in my garden. Puto negrito.

    One stalk is MIA. One stalk has its tender little tip bitten off.

    The rest are ok.

    I need to build a fence. My dad has a back fence that is nicely weathered grape-stake and tilting fiercely. My plan is to help him rebuild the fence, and take the grape-stake for my own fence.

    But the timing is off.


By Dr Pepper on Sunday, April 27, 2008 - 07:28 pm:

    Sorry 'bout that nate, every pester would love to eat the garden...mmmph!


By agatha on Monday, April 28, 2008 - 02:13 pm:

    Nate, do you have dogs of your own now? I might have missed something here. My window starts are sprouting- 3 kinds of basil, cherry tomatoes, yellow pear tomatoes, brussel sprouts. It's nice and sunny out today, so I think I'm going to plant the zucchini, sunflowers, dahlia bulbs, and maybe the peas. Might be too early for the peas. It snowed last week.


By Nate on Monday, April 28, 2008 - 03:05 pm:

    In addition to the asparagus I have tomatoes, five kinds of peppers, tomatillo, and various herbs. My okra start bit it. My tomatoes are about a foot tall. It doesn't snow here. I didn't realize how different the timing is between here and there.

    I got Kingston the black lab towards the end of December. He's generally a good kid; I think the lure of asparagus was too much temptation.

    Kendy is a 5 year old cocker spaniel. She is a total idiot, but fiercely protective of her people and otherwise very sweet. She doesn't do the "pee when pet" kind of thing that a lot of cockers do.

    Kingston is enough for me, but a friend was freaking out and couldn't handle the responsibility of having a dog, and I offered to take Kendy in lieu of a trip to the pound. I'm kind of half-assed looking for a family for her, so, realistically I probably have two dogs now.

    Next season I'll have the fence up and I'll have beds built and will really go for it.


By Spider on Monday, April 28, 2008 - 06:37 pm:

    When I lived in Montana, I went to a bridal shower to which someone brought a huge bowlful of huge wild asparagus. Apparently, it grows rampant on the reservation.

    The bases were maybe an inch in diameter, maybe 18 inches long. Huge.


By heather on Monday, April 28, 2008 - 07:03 pm:

    *dirty*


By Nate on Monday, April 28, 2008 - 07:19 pm:

    gardening?

    or having hot bachelorette anal with foot-and-a-half long asparagus stalks?


By heather on Monday, April 28, 2008 - 07:52 pm:

    you choose


By Antigone on Monday, April 28, 2008 - 10:25 pm:

    You two...Get a plot!


By Spider on Monday, April 28, 2008 - 11:15 pm:

    Holy shit, y'all. I was reporting facts, not making innuendo.

    Hot bachelorette anal. This was a party for a 23-y-o woman who needed to ask us how babies were made, and who was seen in town after her honeymoon looking traumatized. Poor girl.


By Nate on Tuesday, April 29, 2008 - 12:08 am:

    uh, you bring up a bowelfull of asparagus and what am i supposed to do with that?


By Spider on Tuesday, April 29, 2008 - 12:25 am:

    Dude, I said bowlful, not bowelful. That's all your doing.


By Nate on Tuesday, April 29, 2008 - 02:16 am:

    ah. right. this keeps happening to me.


By agatha on Tuesday, April 29, 2008 - 12:15 pm:

    I wish we had wild asparagus around here. Did you have any? Was it tasty?


By sarah on Tuesday, April 29, 2008 - 02:48 pm:


    one of my favorite authors wrote this article in the NY Times magazine 2 weeks ago, which, in the end, is about growing a garden.




By heather on Tuesday, April 29, 2008 - 03:24 pm:

    i am wondering why that article makes me angry.

    it has something to do with the fact that i think he is wrong about gardens. it would take years for most people to get the hang of growing things and at the moment many of them are too lazy or "busy."

    many people i know can't keep a single house plant alive not to mention understanding pests and planting times and water usage.

    i think it would take a *lot* of garden to make enough food to really impact what people buy.

    victory gardens happened in a time when many people in america had grown up on farms and still had a lot of knowledge and understanding and didn't fear the work and nature-yness involved in growing things.

    i guess i am angry because we are all so lazy and we chose a bad direction a long time ago and momentum is going to keep dragging us in that direction.

    gardens are awesome though, and i tend to plant a (sadass) one everywhere i go.

    (i wouldn't suggest eating what grows out of the ground on city property.)


By platypus on Tuesday, April 29, 2008 - 04:02 pm:

    Michael Pollen tends to be simultaneously self righteous and insanely idealistic, which is why I haven't liked his most recent books very much. As Heather says, he doesn't really account for the fact that a lot of knowledge which was once common is now restricted to a small group of people. And I'm so tired of hypocritical foodies, too.

    Gardens are awesome, though. Mine is a flower garden, seeing as how I don't really feel like eating dioxins, but it's still pretty sweet.


By Spider on Tuesday, April 29, 2008 - 08:24 pm:

    It was very tasty, Agatha. I don't recall it tasting any different from cultivated asparagus.


By droopy on Tuesday, April 29, 2008 - 09:21 pm:

    all of my plants are in pots on my back porch. i think the soil around my "brownfield" apartment would be especially lethal. i can tell the cilantro is going to grow like mad. the basil is a strain i've never tried to grow before: sweet dani. it's not growing as quickly as the others and the ants are already getting to it; ants really love basil, in my experience. the spearmint seems to grow before my eyes; no insects are eating on it, but there is one little bug that seems to enjoy hanging out in the leaves.

    a week or so ago a friend left two morning glory plants (ones she'd just bought) with me while she went away for the week. i put them by my front windows. by the time she got back, one of them had twined it's way over my spare wheelchair tires and up into the slats of the window blinds. she said it looked so happy here that she just left it with me and took the other one.

    i had a really good experience years ago when i started growing an old sweet potato (which is a morning glory) in a jar. it was the most "alive" plant i'd ever tried to grow (not that i'd ever tried to grow that many). i began referring to it as the "heliotropic miracle".


By platypus on Wednesday, April 30, 2008 - 12:11 am:

    My father has a cilantro tree. Apparently cilantro really likes his yard.


By sarah on Wednesday, April 30, 2008 - 03:11 pm:


    my daughter's day care provider told me today, as i cried on her shoulder, that i should try to do a little activity every day, something for myself. like gardening, she said.




By platypus on Wednesday, April 30, 2008 - 10:30 pm:

    Gardening is immensely therapeutic, yet frustrating. I guess that's where the reward is, though.


By patrick on Wednesday, May 14, 2008 - 08:28 pm:

    we planted a fistful of tomatos last week. we are hoping to build that raised bed in the yard this weekend. a fence is mandatory otherwise it wll be a skunk/raccoon buffet


By sarah on Thursday, March 4, 2010 - 05:04 pm:


    a watched pot never boils.


    last sunday i planted bibb lettuce, kale, swiss chard, green beans, and dill. by seed.


    every single day several times a day i'm out in the backyard just staring at the dirt where those seeds are supposed to sprout up. the anticipation is killing me.


    we're going to a local community garden (where i used to have a plot) plant sale this saturday to get tomatoes and other stuff i'm not growing from seed.







By Kazu on Thursday, March 4, 2010 - 05:39 pm:

    I'm growing basil again this year. And rosemary. And possibly mint. And maybe dill.


By moonitnz on Thursday, March 4, 2010 - 05:57 pm:

    We can't have a garden. The last time we planted one Reese bought in all the silverbeet which she had partially eaten. She also dug up the potatoes and ate those (raw). She guards the lemon tree and if you take one she will stalk you and sad eye you.


By J on Friday, March 5, 2010 - 12:31 pm:

    I love to garden,it's so rewarding to reap the fruits(and vegetables) of your labor.I've got some tomatos,some pole beans,summer squash,habaneros&jalopenos,lettace,cucumber and green onions planted.I'm still looking for zucchini and cilantro.The kids planted sunflowers and are excited about that.
    This year I've just got to figure out a way to shade my tomatos or they'll burn up by July.


By sarah on Friday, March 5, 2010 - 01:26 pm:


    sunflowers! awesome idea. the td would love that. also sunflower sprouts are delish.

    our summer growing season is over by mid to late june. no amount of shade or water is enough to counteract the sun and heat of july-september.



By sarah on Monday, March 8, 2010 - 10:47 pm:

    the broccoli i planted very early last autumn, didn't ever do much and then went dormant for the winter, suddenly today heads of broccoli are spouting up in the center of the plant. i about peed myself with excitement. i took photos too.


    also, the seeds i planted have sprouted just barely. the tiniest hint of green leaves barely visible between lumps of dirt.


    oh boy!


    at the plant sale i got all kinds of crazy heirloom tomatoes, eggplant, and sweet bell peppers. i'll plant them this weekend.



By Dr Pepper on Tuesday, March 9, 2010 - 02:24 am:

    sarah, i loved cold broccoli...


By semillama on Tuesday, March 9, 2010 - 04:35 pm:

    ... but cold broccoli didn't love you back, so you waited around outside its house, hoping it would notice you.


By moonit on Tuesday, March 9, 2010 - 09:51 pm:

    you used to write it notes and get cold carrots to pass them in the hallway, but it never responded or even looked your way...


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