my first day away, i woke up far too early after an insane drive to get there. it was still dark out and no one else in the house was awake. i leashed up the dogs and took them out walking. walked across route 12-cars passing were few and far between--mostly people going out fishing. walked up sand dunes, probably 30 feet high, down to the beach. it was high tide, still stars in the sky. got to the ocean. it was overwhelming and i doubt that i can do justice in even trying to descibe it, but no matter where i looked there was ocean and sand. south there was the lighthouse. no people, no birds. the feeling of being completely alone was intense and good for my probably broken soul. i always get the feeling that i was born in the wrong place, that i got the life that was meant for someone else. that really, what the hell would be so wrong with living in a place where everything closes in the winter and the jobs are all low paying? i dunno. im probbably full of shit. i'd miss what i have if i didnt have it anymore. or maybe i wouldnt. maybe the ocean would fill me in the way i want to believe it will and i'd emerge victorious, an entirely new woman once again.

You're soul is not broken when you fill other hearts with love. I'm glad you're part of this life asia. :)