I do regret letting my art talent slide during these past 10+ years. Now, it's a burden to work on something and the pieces are few and VERY far between. I used to get great satisfaction from drawing, painting and what-not--even when nobody sees my work. Now I start something, label it "too damn hard to do" and end it rather quickly with no results. Maybe I've lost my confidence and the zeal. And it kills me to hear people say, "You should get back into art." I can't, there's a freakin' wall built up between me and the art supplies. I don't know what I can do to topple that fucker. Started at Millikin University working on a degree in Art Management. Ended at Madison Area Technical College with a degree of Medical Laboratory Technician. Explain that transformation..........................

Hey there, You seem to have lost the creative passion that is necessary in art. Some circumstances in your life must be hammering the artistic mind down. I tried several times in my life to be an artist or musician, but I do not have the gift that only a true artist and musician have. It has to come from the inside out not the outside in. If you have this gift, you should really spend time to find out why it is not being put to use. Art and music make the world a better place and also allow people to convey ideas and emotions in an elegant way. Usually we are only able to do this in dialogues in very defined frames of reference, that have many rules on protocols and language use. Art and music transcend this and can be appreciated by many in a single instant, on a lower conscious level. Dig down and bring this artistic instinct up. And always remember, anything worth doing is difficult. Only children and sloths pick the easy tasks to confront. Fulfill your destiny.

or: just do it.

Easier said than done. I know what my biggest problem is: I'm a god damn perfectionist. And that, my friends, is the biggest killjoy of all. Mom told me stories about my formative years. She told me about times when I'd draw or make whatever, at the ages of 6 on up. Even at that age, if something I was working on didn't turn out I'd pitch a hissy fit and throw it away. She recovered most of what I disposed of...bless her. Now, when I look back, I'm grateful she did. She saved a very important part of my youth that could have been lost. Another reason why I loathe getting back into the swing is friends have always wanted me to do little projects for them. Draw this or make that. I relished the fact that they wanted ME to do those things, but after so many years, I started denying them. A thick skin developed--artistically speaking( of course:) ). Just last week, a gal at work wanted me to draw a simple pattern for her. ( I should have never shown my portfolio at work ) I obliged, but was hoping she would forget about it. Is that insensitive of me? Be it as it may, I'm still confused on how to release the "art demons" that have been plaguing me for years. You may be very right Ghost. I'll have to start on the inside.

Pink -- don't do art on demand. Don't try to be 'nice' becuz you're 'flattered' someone asked you to create something for them. That shit is a black hole. Just do it for you. Whether it's 3:00am & you're drunk & suddenly inspired by the skyline outside yr window/or you're stuck in a meeting a bored as hell & start doodling in the margins/just draw! Don't worry abt how good it is/or what others will think. Once you've got a pile of half-finished sketches on yr desk at home /& you start to really see the talent you've neglected for so long/you'll get inspired to jump back into the flow & start creating on a regular basis. Trust me on this. Creating is like excercising -- the more you do it/the more you want to do it. For the satisfaction & the buzz you get afterwards. It's Saturday -- when you wake up/go to yr nearest art supply store/buy yrself a sketch pad & some pencils & charcoal or whatever/& keep them around the house. And a smaller pad you can carry w/you. And just draw when the impulse hits you. I wd never write a single word if I cd draw worth a damn!

I used to do that, keep a medium-sized pad around the house...by my trusty chair. Just for an occasion that an inspiration might hit me. Sometimes I'd draw images that appeared to me from the textured walls inside my small apt in Iowa. Holy shit! I used to live in Iowa. Maybe that's my problem, living in Iowa some 10 years ago. I feel the sudden urge to draw swine, no, not you Swine. Just to clear up, I was not hallucinating when drawing images from my walls. May have been stoned, but sane:)

By the way, I feel really shitty. I have a talent, judge ye who see it, and I have thought of it as a cancer. A piece of me that I want to get rid of. Isn't that sad? Some would kill for it and I abominate it. It's tragic. *sigh*

It's yours to waste. Do with it what you want.

That may have been the MOST proliferate statement yet. You could be right, why do I have to please the masses???

How important is marriage?

What the hell does marriage have to do with this?

sorry-meant to open a new message

less important than art.

Yes, it's your talent to do what you want with Pink Eye, but think of the way you could raise someone else's spirit through your art. When I see art or hear music that speaks to me, I am very grateful that the artist decided to share the message because I could never express it as elegantly. I would have to resort to language which much more a base form of communication than any art, which exists in the realm of ideas. The only "art" I can do myself requires a camera and although you can capture emotion in this way, it is still an external process. People who bother you to draw this, or draw that, should be given the same consideration they show you: a doodle on a napkin at best. But when draw something for them because you feel like it, then your creativity comes to life. It sounds like you do art at work. Maybe it shouldn't be your way of making a living. Sometimes we think that what we love should translate into employment, but it doesn't always work that way; both for what you love to do and for your employment. Good Luck and I hope to find out someday that you have chosen to make our world a bit brighter rather than keeping it shut up and brooding over it. Later, The Ghost

Fuck that! Pink Eye, make the most beautiful art in existence and set fire to it if you want. It's up to you. I have no creative skill whatsoever, yet I would never presume to tell someone else to use their talent in any way but how they wanted to. Save yourself kill them all.

You are nothing but a selfish bastard, Bagpuss-y, Fuck you and the bullshit you call a life. Do everyone around a favor and set fire to yourself, any asshole that gives advice like yours should either be on a desert island with like-minded selfish assholes fighting for the last coconut or should stay home jerking off all day in the dark wishing they were actual human beings. FUCK YOU. Good Fuckin riddance

guess who is an asshole? can you guess?

[crackling of flaming apparel] "Ow! This is hot." [acrid stench of burning flesh] "Arrgghhhh this was shit advice" [dull roar of a fiery death] "perhaps I should have just wanked in the dark"

....too crazy. The lot of you. But really Pink -- get yrself a sketch pad TODAY & get to drawing!

you could get really stoned and draw on the walls again. i vote for that. i actually keep a little sketch pad and a charcoal and some little tiny cray-pas pastels on my desk and just doodle fun shit that sometimes i so absorbing that i sit down and turn it into a real project.

I'd rather just get stoned and look at the sketch pad...god...I haven't been stoned since July.

i have a lot to say on this subject, but i haven't had the time to put my thoughts into words. i consider myself to be an artist, but i define that more loosely than i think most do. i had some serious artistic block for about five years, starting right around the time that i was pregnant with my daughter. what should have been a productive time for me, given my newfound source of inspiration, simply was not. i was tired all the time, and my motivation was shot. i spent a lot of time, more than i care to admit, lamenting and agonizing over my artistic lethargy. i was still getting ideas, i just wasn't acting on them. it was horrible. i felt like such a loser, because i had identified myself with art for so long that i didn't know who i was anymore. having a child gave me some sense of purpose, but it wasn't enough. finally, this summer, i went through this month long catharsis where i wrestled with the idea that maybe i wasn't an artist, maybe i just liked to do art sometimes. that it was okay to appreciate art and maybe have an arts related career without actually feeling pressured to produce art. that i didn't need to identify myself with anything in particular. slowly, i gave up on the idea that i would ever be an artist in the traditional sense of the word. it was really difficult for me. so, suddenly i wasn't an artist anymore. i had been thinking of myself in those terms for roundabout twenty years. it was very strange. oddly enough, once i got used to the idea, it was a very freeing feeling. the nagging in the back of my head dissappeared. something very strange began to happen in the fall when i went back to school. i began to produce more artwork than i had in years. i wasn't agonizing over it as much, i was simply enjoying the process of it all. it became much easier to do. it was very strange. another source of inspiration was my daughter. she has no issues whatsoever with her art. she draws and paints all the time, and enjoys it for the pleasure it gives her. she does not criticize her work, she just does it. i don't even think i am explaining it properly. however, at this point, i feel like i will continue to produce art at a pace i am comfortable with, for my own enjoyment. maybe i will have some shows, maybe not. for some reason, it's not really important to me anymore. does this make any sense to you, pink eye? if it does, i hope the philosophy i have adopted will help you along in your goals. maybe just sign up for an evening art class, and go. don't make yourself crazy over it. and good luck. it's really a horrible feeling that you are going through. i hope you work it out. ps, you don't have to be able to draw to make art. drawing is just one aspect of creating art, and not neccessarily the most important one. try some other mediums that you are unfamiliar with, to see if maybe they spark a new interest in you. i am taking metalworking right now, and it's a blast. printmaking is fun, too, because you can get involved with the process without agonizing over the subject matter quite so much. good luck.

I have taken your words to heart *smile*

there is something to the title 'artist' that bothers me..i don't know why..even those who make a living off what they produce..the few bastards..let alone the sunday doodler.. the 'title' is just covered in all sorts of attitude and silliness..more silliness than anything.. and..what is art anyway.. and until we define that..and no one has accept the one who said 'it's everything or nothing' then we can't define the artists.. the artists are either everyone or no one.. so i don't know if you can possibly 'choose' to be..you can only be really good or really bad at it..

let's not forget those of us that are in between those two categories... regardless, spiracle, i am fairly sure that our points run parallel to each other. my definition of an artist is somebody that makes something that they perceive as art. it's when other folk's definitions start to come into play that things start to get complicated. hell, those art critics have to make a living somehow. speaking of which, i'm writing a paper right now comparing a classical flemish woman painter with two baroque woman painters. wish i had started earlier. my damn back is getting sore, and i'm still only on Caterina van Hemessen. damn.

I know what art is. The KLF burned a million pounds and the burned the film of them burning a million pounds. Lovely.

Hey Pink Eye, perhaps the problem is that in other aspects of your life you are stuck doing uncreative things, like at work, and this miasma of uncreativity has seeped into your personal life. I think that happened to me once. I haven't done a whole lot of visual art in the last few years, but started doing some odd collage work once I got back into school and was creative in other aspects of my life again. My musical output also increased. So maybe the source is inside, yet is stifled from the outside.

It's funny how art is always there, lurking underneith the surface of everything. Thought I had lost art, but a change of scenery made all the difference for me. Going to New York gave me the thrill of discovery--of wanting to hold up a lens to the world I was seeing. If I had had paintbrushes I would have put them to use. Everyday I tried to memorize a scene. Like dancing and writing, riding bicycles and playing Nintendo, it will return Pink Eye. Do you ever have those pangs of remembering how fun it was to do an art project? If you do, art is still in you.

Sorry, no pangs for years.

Pangs for the memories?

You know, like when you feel diarrhea coming on. Those are intense pangs!

is a book-burning art?

Well, not just any book-burning. If you burn your "hardy Boys" collection in your back yard, that's not really good art. Good art is going to the Temple in Salt Lake City with a bunch of Books of Mormon, douse 'em in gasoline, light, and then run like hell!

if it depends on the type of book, is burning the collected works of shakespeare high art?

No, burning the collected works of Hunter S. Thompson is high art.

actually, i kind of enjoyed _hell's angels_ anyway, i think we have something of a consensus: book-burning is art.

It was a pun, not literary criticism. Since book-burning is a totalitarian tactic, and art is an expression of extreme individuality, I'd say they're quite opposite.

But, wouldn't burning books be against the consensus that it is totalitarianism and therefore an expression of individuality. I've got huge deja vu typing this post. And deja vu about saying I've got deja vu. I'm going for a lie down.

took me a second on that h.s.t. thing. it would be a totalitarian act if the ruling body burned the books; but if I dumped a load of books on the pavement in front of the local library and set them on fire all by my lonesome, then that would be an individual act. i'm not even very clear about the term individual. how about the great religious art the world over? or the art of soviet russia? art hasn't always been utterly individualistic. ah, fuck this. bagpuss had given me an idea to have a little fun, but i've got so much on my mind i can't even concentrate. i was hoping to trap some of the sillier sorabjites into an art debate, but they don't seem to be around. it's either start posting as a neo-nazi or fundamentalist fanatic or drop the whole thing. drop.

If you want to see "art" that will definitely make you a) want to lie down or b)scream with rapturous glee, check out: http://www.subgenius.com

ah, i grew up on bob dobbs and the rev. ivan stang. i'm from the holy land.

You're from Goytre?

There's probably less than a thousand people in the world who would get that joke. Now, that's art.

Fewer than a thousand people. And I think you grossly underestimate.

i'm half welsh, i half get it. no, not even that. what's a bagpuss?

OhmyGod! I'm spun out now. Bagpuss - Emily Loved him.

once, not so long ago, there was a little girl named emily and she had a shop. (something like that.) ah, the magic of the wordsearch. to me, "bagpuss" sounded like street jargon for a geriatric prostitute. it's why i thought you were female when you first started posting.

It's weird, Bagpuss seemed to have a disproportionate (sorry about spelling, pissed) amount of influence on my generation. Considering my heritage I should have been calling myself "Ivor The Engine", but the cloth cat has my heart. What the fuck am I saying? Redirect to drunken ramblings please... If you're half-Welsh, where're you from?

Or rather, which half is from Wales?

The better half. *That* goes without saying.

i'm americanical, designed and built. my mother's side of the family is from wales, so i happen to know where goytre is. that's it. i thought you said you haven't had a drink in ten years, or something like that.

I haven't, besides an occaisional lapse every few years. Got pissed for the last few nights. Needed to stop thinking for a bit. (been a weird and bad week)

know the feeling. i wonder if i should start calling myself puffn'stuff. jesus, how do you spell that?

"T" "H" "A" "T" Oh, that's it, I'm off to bed before I embarass myself anymore.