It's me, the original CHRISTOPHER, and I regret that I have a presentation that I am doing on Monday . My regret centers around the fact that I have known about this for a long time, but have not even begun to do it. Yep...No Powerpoint slides, no notes, no nothing. I am paid exorbitantly, yet have lost all desire to perform for the suits. Oh rage...Oh despair....

All the indivuals I've met named Christopher have been slimy, not trustworthy, nasty people. Break the paradigm, Christopher. I dare you.

Ouch, I hate that feeling. I've got a Visio flowchart drawing do Monday and when did I start? About 20 minutes ago. I work better under pressure than when I know I've got 5 weeks to do something. That's why I'm logged on here. I want to put it off until the absolute last minute.

No, no, no. My godson's name is Christopher and he's a cute little bugger. My cousin's name is Christopher and he's a good kid.

oh, Isolde, Have I ever told you that that is my favorite name? I envision a rapturous cloud of butterflies; a colorful fluttering descending from the azure skies of summer, the almost silent beating of their wings bringing a delightfully refreshing breeze...The butterflies float nearer, their carnival colors dislodging fragments of childhood memory; of freedom and happiness, of ice cream cones on the porch after dinner. I bask in the sweet sentimentality of their approach as they descend ever closer. I extend a gentle hand toward them, beckoning them to be my friend, and they are here. They alight on my shoulders, my hair; they cling to my shirt; they're burrowing beneath the layers of protective clothing that I thought would be sufficient...they...they...THEY'RE BITING. OH GOD. OH GODDDD!!!! GET THEM OFF OF MEEEEEEE!!!! AAAAAuUUUUUUUGGGGHHHH~!!!!!! AAAAAAUUUUUUUUUGGGGHGHHHH!!!! OHHHH JEEEEZUS!!!!!! HELP!!! HELP!!!

Aparently not, since I don't know you. However, considering my past history with people named Christopher, I can't help but comment. People comment. It's very wierd how that happens. It's also wierd that when I hear the name Christopher, I visualize rape and boyfriends who cheat, men who try to keep me from working, and asshole stewards.

Thats funny, I hear Isolde, and I envision carviverous flying insects. Its weird how that happens, but with chemical intervention, and a modicum of decorum, I can usually keep that to myself.

"....and the waterbugs attacked the policeman..." Wayne, Flaming Lips

holy shit, it's christopher. goddamn. about 2 1/2 years ago you gave me some advice and predictions, and motherfuck you were right. nice to see you back, though.

i just want to confirm i am the OG patrick....thats all

The hell you are bitch, I am.

But when I picture Patrick, I picture men with no pants. I don't know why this is.

Men With No Pants: good name for a band. Probably'd draw a better female crowd than Men Without Hats or Men at Work.

i once wanted to form an all-girl band and name it "men".

I Once saw a band called "Free Roast Beef". Hiya Nate, I don't recall if my predictions were ominous, but I hope my advice was good. You working in Silicon Valley these days? I've moved up into the engineering level over the past two years, and am pretty happy. I hope you're doing well!

Oh...And I still haven't started work on my presentation.

you seem happier than before. fucker.

I'm Happy because its a friendly world, Dave. That, and the marijuana.

mmm. i love marijuana. even though it scares me. it really does. anymore, i get paranoid seizure when i smoke. i hear it's a thirties thing and that it passes in the forties. but for now, weed makes me think about bad things, so i avoid it. evil weed. good for you. many successes, bitch. mwa!

Oh you,it's all good.

it's not the weed, it's the quantity and the misuse that make you paranoid. try taking just one toke, or maybe two. and try to think of it as medicine, as opposed to a recreational drug. treat it with respect. you will have a much better time with it. it will bring you more peace, which is what it is meant to do, and not bring you as much paranoid or tangentially strung out thinking. try it...

hmmm... my friend just brought these cookies back from the northern county...

it's me that makes me paranoid. massive introspection makes me unhappy. weed just magnifies it. for now, weed must be avoided. remail me that last letter so's i can respond to it. i lost the first one in linux oblivion. i probably could have saved it but i got pissed off and reformatted. it's the year 2000. y'oughta be able to use a goddam wheel mouse by now without having to read a fucking thousand pages of unhelpful kaka.

i just resent it for like the third or fourth time. but you're probably asleep by now. the walking portion of this evening was long.

Anyone who envisions a crapload of man eating insects is a-ok with me. For some reason the name Christopher reminds me of dressing up in a red sequin tutu. I'm sure there's a psychological connection there but I'm not even gonna bother to go down that path.

i think the predictions had something to do with comfort and roman orgies around the pool... i actually haven't had any roman orgies around the pool. but otherwise, the valley has worked for me. i got me a nice little house in the santa cruz mountians and a little engineering job working with NLP (natural language, not neuro-linguistic). been reading chomsky for things other than politics... odd. are you still working in the area? i had an interview with excite@home last year that reminded me of you.

Hi Nate, My introduction to Chomsky was via a Linguistics grad student who broke my heart in 1982. so I never got into his politics. What are you doing with Natural Language...Voice recognition? I'm very interested in this because my boyfriend is profoundly deaf, and is considering getting a cochlear implant. The interesting aspect of this is that if they turn on his hearing, he is going to have to learn language skills from scratch. Just because your hearing suddenly gets switched on doesn't mean you'll understand it. In fact it might seem truly scary at first. I surprised the hell out of myself by learning American Sign Language; So I guess my neuro-linguistics have made room for my spatial linguistics. I'm not fluent at this point, but I can hold up my own with deaf folks. I'm still with E@H, and am very happy despite my lack of drive to create this damn presentation. The stock is dog kaka right now, but so is the rest of the tech sector. I can't believe how much we've grown!! WHen I joined them I think I was around #200. We're now close to 4000. Theres a hell of a lot more red tape now, but I love working in broadband. SC Mountains is a nice place to live, Nate. I spend a couple of weekends a month out that way. My BF has a house in Campbell. Occasionally, we go into Los Gatos, and I get to feel nauseated by the spoiled rich kids who are unaware that Mommy and Daddy's stock just went into the crapper, and they are now the nouveau poor. Personally, I'd rather spend my time hiking in the woods than sitting in some hideous italianate coffee house drinking $3 coffee. Wow, Naste, I'm happy to hear from you! This was a fun place to let my brain roam free. It's nice , after 2 plus years to drop in and hear familiar voices. Chris

is this the nice christopher from san fran? nice to hear from you. -agatha aka kelsey

Actually this is the Christopher that causes the recollection of rapacious ex boyfriends, or red sequined tutu's, depending on who you ask. I'm still in the Bay Area, but I was forced to move out of SF when my landlord raised the rent to $2400 a month for my 1 bedroom apartment. Bastard. On the bright side, I placed a liverwurst sandwich deep within the recesses of the ventilation system before I left. Thanks for remembering me, Agatha. It's nice to hear voices from the not-too-distant past.

speaking of the bay area, does anyone know how long and in what capacity Mr. Thomas is in the neighborhood?

Nope. I miss California. I'm so lame. I need to get over this more quickly, or move back. Maybe coming back for holiday was not a smart idea. Goddamnit. I'm drunk. Can't type.

whatcha drinkin?

vodka.

me have beer. vodka scares me.

Vodka,get's you right dowwn to it,none of that beer gas,Shelia,can I get a witness??

Yup, vodka's where it's at. I've got enough Russian in me to sprun beer. Bah. I want hard liquor, and I want it undiluted. When I drink, I drink to be drunk and stay good and drunk for some time. Go vodka!

you sound like either a commercial or a cheerleader, i can't decide which.

A cheerleader? For VODKA? Whatever. I guess I do sort of sound like an infomercial there. It's just because I love vodka's properties so much that I can't help extolling them all the time. Vodka is a wondrous thing, it really is. I understand that some people like beer and mixed drinks or whatever, but really, the purpose of hard alchohol is to get drunk, not to be a wuss. Wine is another matter. Wine is not a hard liquor, and should not be treated as such. Wine with dinner, good thing. Box wine, bad thing. But I put the two in such separate classes, sometimes it doesn't occur to me that they're both alchoholic. alchohol. sentance. analyize. words I can never spell, even sober. Argh. I try so hard, but it's not worth it. Geek boy, come back.

he went away?

He went to a house with lots of smoking and perfume and people, and I told him to drop by when he was coming back home. Maybe he'll show up. Maybe he won't. The housemate and her guests who ate ALL MY FOOD are asleep all over my floor. I'm playing Orbital moderately loudly to annoy them, and they can't really complain, because I can point out that I HAVE NO FOOD. Argh. Goddamnit, I don't want to go shopping again, already, if these fuckers are going to eat it all. They're here until fucking Tuesday. Damnit. Anyway. Yeah. Geek boy is supposed to drop by later. I'm in my jammies. Hopefully this won't get ugly. I told him I wanted to be a pop star tonight, since we saw VH1's 25 most sexiest the other day at a friend's house. I told him I could totally beat all those hoochies. Too bad I'm not hot enough. And my voice isn't right. Gods fuck it.

i'll lend you my blue wig, if that'll help. i should probably get off pretty soon, as i have to go pick up the ls from school.

What the hell kind of time is it there? It's 4:00am on Sunday for me. I'm getting confused about picking children up from school. Don't leave on the west coast? You sister gets off school at 1am? *confused* I think I'll need more help than a blue wig, like...to become hot, but thanks.

yes, it's after 1 am now, and i just got back from picking up the ls from school. she had a speech tournament today in eugene (i think). she had to be at school at 5:15 this morning (yesterday morning?). oh, the horrors of having a competitive speaker in the family. shiny hair makes me feel pretty. if i were you i'd wear some gauzy harem pants. cute and comfortable...what can be better? i'll keep my fingers crossed. yesterday (friday) i got to talk to maxine scates, who critiqued a poem of mine and signed a copy of her book for me...and a cute boy from my poetry class (re: gray shirt, black wire rim glasses, and almost no hair) told me that he liked my poetry. i was on cloud nine. or at least eight. light lots of candles, play moby (hahaha, funny!) and paint your nails. it'll make you feel good, if not sexy.

I wore my black silk pajamas. He came over sometime around 3:30am, we chatted for two hours. Music played: Moby, I Like to Score (oh, yeah...) Underworld, Mixed MP3's Orbital, Mixed MP3s and, of course, Orbital, The Box No scoring went on. I only touched his shoulder and his shoe. But it was great fun. We talked about our cats and christmas lights and drugs.

i finished my mix tape yesterday. i was listening to it this morning, and it's better than setting up a playlist on my cd player. for one, it doesn't have the cd-chnging noise, and then there's a greater variety. i'll probably be sending it sometime this week. i saw my ex (jon) earlier today...he was hanging around with his friend brian, who is dating harmony, who is my coworker and one of my bestest friends. brian gave harmony an expensive watch for an early birthday present, and jon had the nerve to ask how much it cost, right in front of harmony. hasn't that boy even heard of tact???? anyway, i'll stop obsessing over that. tomorrow i'm going to be pretty for class. there's a cute boy that likes my poetry. i smell a prospect! i remember the first time i ever felt sexy. it was my best friend's birthday party, and one of our guy friends was there, and we were sitting in her bedroom, talking. i'd taken off my shoes and had my feet resting against his leg, pointing and relaxing. he said that it reminded him of his cat. i wonder how he is. i wonder how naomi is. i better see if i have their email addys.

Yay propspect! Yay mix tape also. Anyone else? Ugh. I'm having a miserable day already.

I had a friend who thought motorcycles and cats were sexy. I laughed at him at the time but I regret it now. Cuz I think I see what he meant.

They are. I need to learn how to ride a motercycle. Then I can wear skin-tight leopardskin pants and drive my motercycle around town.

Yea,it's real fun to have stones flying up and hitting you,and bugs in your teeth,and people driving like they don't see you.

mmmmm. bugs. mmmm

I was excited yesterday cause I found a New Zealand website that custom make jeans. Woohooo. and only $85. I'm not gonna convert that to US cause it will just depress me. Do any of you guys know of stores that sell Levi's and will send to New Zealand? My boss is looking for some US made. You can pay up to $150 here for red tab levi's.

My God,that's just crazy,Mervyns usually has the best deals on Levi's when they have a sale,I don't know if they ship to New Zealand,but I don't see why thet wouldn't.

nope they dont ship outside the us. bastards anywhere else? throw me a bone people heh

Um...I finished my presentation, and showed it to the brass. They were impressed, and I did it in 5 hours when I took 3 days to do it. Oh, and I'm wearing Levis straight cut black jeans with the zipper, not the buttons. I had a matching jacket, but I took it with me to Sydney Australia in January and someone stole it off the back of my chair in a bar near Darling Harbour. My cell phone was in the pocket, and when I called it, someone answered "HEllO!". From the excitement in their voice I could tell that I would see neither of them again.

That's not very nice. I'm glad your presentation went ok.

you must be skinny. only skinny people can get away with levis straight cut. i require the baggy cut, not because i'm fat but because i have such a massive tool. my dick is so big, i had to have a jarvik-7 implanted in it and it requires that i keep it suspended in liquid so that it won't crush itself like a beached whale.

jeez, if you had asked about two months ago, i could have bought brand new at mervyn's with a 15% employee discount. they discontinued the best kind. the 555s are gone. boohoo!!!!

thanks dave, for giving me a true LOL ....

well, you can relate, i'm sure. . .

yeah, if i try to tuck my member into a pair of straight cuts, all the blood gets forced back into my body causing a pretty good impression of a martian popping thing. the doctors all told my mom she was having twins. surprise, surprise! it was just me and my mammoth cock.

oh yeah definitely.....and forget about shorts unless you like jail.......otherwise I sweat it out all year long,

Yeah, well speaking of mammoth cocks, read this reporter's crap re the Simpsons: http://www.msnbc.com/news/419648.asp What a dickhead -- Homer evolving as the psychotic star of the show is what makes this show genius. There's only so much an 8 year kid (Bart) can do. Homer's the man, and the show is NOT going downhill.

I can't wear anything straight cut, because I have hip bones. They jut. My new pants...fit perfectly. I love it, because they're boot cut, which means I don't have to roll up the cuffs to make them fit me!!!

honey, there you go mistaking your dick for your ass again! silly boy!

I thought he was mistaking it for the colostomy bag again...all that talk of it floating in liquid.

that's supposed to be our little secret, cat. the boy's insecure enough as it is without bringing his colostomy bag into it. i suppose you're going to bring up the walker now...

well this is a nice distraction but you guys arent helping me with the whole 'find a site that sells levis to new zealanders and get moonie a promotion'. any more suggestions... please?

Erm...I don't know how I can get you a promotion, but if Levi's won't export, probably one of us States people could be persuaded to pick up some jeans for you...

Agatha:Hahahahahah!!!!!! Moonit,I'll look for you.

i have three pairs of workpants now, two of which fit me perfectly. the world is good.

I liked that custom pants site you sent me moonie - shame I just bought new bootlegs last week. I'll file it for future reference though. (and I passed it on to some people I thought might like it)

Mother of God. 4 years later. I'm NOT DEAD. I'm still living in San Francisco. I'm still with Len, and I'm now fluent in American Sign Language. I've been back in Silicon Valley since January. I ignore stock options. I restored a 1910 Edwardian with my own hands over the past 2 1/2 years. I've taught myself carpentry, and I made a stained glass window for the front of my house. I'm addicted to hardware stores and power saws. I'm in good health, and so is Len. I still harbor fantasies involving carnivorous butterflies. My political leanings have become even more complicated, but I shake with rage much less now. I turned 40 last April 16. I still wear straight cut black jeans. I have a sleazy little John Waters moustache, round horn rim glasses, and am begining to acquire a more than passing resemblance to James Joyce. I grow Marijuana in my upstairs closet. I'm still drawn back to Sorabji.com every year or two, and am amazed to see so many familiar names still here. I'm happy to see that Nate has found a focal point in life, and I'm sure that his search for the wet dream trigger will prove fruitful. Greetings to all, and especially to Mark, the benevolent being who made this place.

Five years on after my last post. Len and I are still together and doing well. We recently moved from SF to Raleigh NC for work. We sold our house there and bought a big old Southern house with a wrap around porch in a great old neighborhood. I am still making stained glass, but am much much better at it now. Len and I have traveled a lot, and I have been lucky enough to see some beautiful places. I hope everyone who was here when we first chatted is happy and living a good life.

So nice to hear from you Christopher! How did Len's cochlear device end up working out? What are you doing for work these days? You're in Patrick's neck of the woods now...

Christopher, you know A.S.L. cause Lenny is deaf? Am I correct?

Holy crap, it's like I'm some kind of god damned Harbinger of Christopher.

well hal, you might be...welcome back both. btw, am in sunny Berkeley CA for about another 22 hours. Then las vegas and home for almost two weeks, then Detroit then florida. Won't be back to work til July 6. Life is good.

the Last Week in Portland was terrifically good too. Rose parade yesterday. Lots of tna and tubas, some overweight bicyclists, and a large contingent of TSA folks who prompted a chant from my crowd at the Hilton take off their belts and shoes and...

Christopher who has a Chihuly glad to hear from you! Are you still growing pot in your closet? Hal you posted once a while ago said you were drunk and poof you were gone.I can never forget your expression Christ on a cracker,I just loves that. Now stick around a while,don't be strangers.

hm. i dont recall the original Christopher, nor Christopher the millennium edition, Christopher 4.0 and most certainly the 2010 edition. Thought the fact we both left California and upgraded our housing is a coinky dink. Lemme guess.....you found the neighborhood of Oakwood in Raleigh? But then again, I think a lot of people are leaving CA for a more sane brand of life where you don't pay over 2k a month for a dumpy apartment or over a half a mill for 500 square feet of a house.

Christopher, do you still resemble James Joyce? It's getting to be like old home week around here. I like it. Wish I had more interesting things to post about myself. well, I do. I just haven't gotten around to posting them.

what happened with ian's day care situation? did you see the photos of the heron i posted to our flickr group?

Ian Michael has a new, wonderful daycare that he attends. Our former daycare provider is being charged with 8 counts of felony, and 10 counts of misdemeanor child abuse.

Holy shit! Whip out the pitchforks!