I seem to have done some shit wrong, nothing to in particular, just a string of events that have led me where I am today. I understand the fact that there are people way worse off then myself, its not a thought or idea its a simple fact. I just feel that where I am in my life right now, I should be doing a hell of a lot better. Going to school, or have a decent job or something. Ney, I still find myself half a foot from fuckin poverty. And as much as i hate it, I don't know what to do about it really. College is still a posibility if I can convince my fuckin father to fill out his half of the damn Fasfa application. Job wise, I'm a 20 yr. old geek kid, living in Montana, that doesn't leave much to be desired job wise. I mean, I'm alive, I have a job, I just want more. On the other end of the spectrum I've also become a lurker, which I'm not very happy about. I think I'm gonna have to post some more, because being a lurker just doesn't suit me any more. I've talked with TBone a few times in the last few weeks, and actually I'm going to call him in a few minutes for some movies. Although other then that, my contact with the outside world is limited to my computer in most cases. I don't go out, because well there isn't anything to go out too. I have no desire to go to bars, because well I'm poor, other then that there isn't much to do around these parts. I suppose TBone would tell you otherwise, but as far as I'm concerned its a rut, and a big one. The squirrels still throw things at me, although they don't try to come into my room any more, the cat pretty much put an end to that. The little fucker got big, he's not fat, just tiny and muscular. Its like when I'm not here he's lifting weights or something. One plus that has come with being poor is the lack of eating, I don't eat much any more. Its kinda sad, the cat actually eats more then I do, I've measured it. The funny part about it, is even when I'm given the option of a good meal, I can only eat a little bit, my stomach has shrunk, alas. I'm at a loss what else to post, thats basically my life in a nutshell. I leave you to your whim to post here, ask questions or berate me for being a closet moron.

Have you ever eaten Milo?

beans and rice, hal. cheap and will keep you from dying. all's forgiven, buddy.

Actually, I took the beans and rice hint a long time ago, I have 5lb bag of rice and about 5 or 6 bags of beans in my closet. But, I also have a lot of Ramen noodles, and most of the time I eat those, and have some pre-cooked rice I just heat up. Problem is I'm out of soy sauce, so the rice isn't that great for me right now. As for Milo, moonit I'm not quite sure what it is exactly. I eat ok, its just I don't eat a lot. Not because I'm poor, I have money enough to eat. I just have no appitite anymore. I don't eat because I'm not hungry anymore. It use to be when living with my parents (which doesn't say much because they always cooked and there was always food) I'd eat a lot. Nowdays though I just don't eat, no desire. On average I'll eat about 1-3 cups of food a day, that equals about a package of ramen and a cup of rice. The cat however gets 2-4 cups of food a day, he's a whiny bitch and I'm a complient dumbass. Bah.

Go to GNC and get some Goldminds DHA 100. If you can't afford it send me your physical addy,and I'll send you some,along with a little treat bag,of stupid stuff to cheer you up. Your Czarina loves you :)

oops

well,oops again

and,oops again........that would not be a capital "c"

yeah, hal, it sounds like you need a little chemical kick in the butt. i remember feeling like you do when i was your age, and i just surrounded myself with frantic activity all the time so i didn't have to face my demons. i think what you are doing is maybe slightly better, although not much better. you should try to grow a little food in your house. stuff like winter lettuce, herbs, etc can be grown in pots and add a little zest to your cooking. make sure to eat some greens, the lack of iron can really affect your moods and energy level. ramen has literally no nutritional value, plus it has way too much sodium and dehydrates your body like crazy. it should not be a staple in your diet. buy in bulk at the coop there, you can buy small amounts of good stuff for very little money. oatmeal is a good thing to eat for breakfast, it really fills you up, and it's super cheap. you can also buy a little bottle of blackstrap molasses and give yourself a spoonful every day, it's very high in iron. you would be amazed at how much your diet can affect your outlook on life. go to the library, it's free. what about a little side business? can you buy funky stuff and sell it on ebay, or something, to supplement your income? do you make anything interesting that anyone would want to buy? it gets a little easier in the next couple of years, i swear.

belly button lint...

Well,how much do you want for it?

For just one day's worth, or are we talking in week amounts here? Btw, I emailed you, did you get it?

Yes, I got it :) Well,I supose that would be dependent on how productive you are. With X-mas just around the corner,and I'm thinking of those on my list that are hard to buy for,cause they already have everything,so is it cheaper if I buy bulk? May I specify material type? Like say cotten for my more natural friends,or spandex for my athletic friends? Or,do you just produce a generic type,blending all fabrics at your discresion?

Hal, it is good to see you posting again. Listen to Agatha; she is a very wise woman and I wish I'd had a friend like her when I was your age. I've got to try that molasses thing.

molasses good! real black licorice will take care of that iron business, too, and you can pretend you're taking medicine when really you're eating candy.

if you are gonna go for those ramen noodle cups....at least mix it up. i've been diggin on trader joes and vons cup o soups. they are under a dollar each and they have some variety.black bean soup for fiber and iron, the mexican rice and bean has a lot of vitamin A in it, the potato and leek has a reasonable amount of other nutrients. they have others too, but at least they are better than sodium water ramen. black licorice is evil. pleaehtukshetgilmjz!!!!! reminds me of jagermeister

I think broccoli is high in iron as well. To spice up yer ramen add onions, garlic and carrots. Cheap vegetables with tons of vitamins and minerals. Potatoes are also cheap as hell and full of nutrients (Eat the skin! Always!) like potassium and b12 (If you don't scrub 'em much). Do you still live at the same place, Hal?

Positive, living at the same place... Czarzina, buying in bulk is almsot always cheaper if you pay attention. Some people don't, and they think they are getting deals when they are getting fucked in the ass with a rotten broom stick.... So buy in bulk, just pay attention while your doing it. Like socks, with guys, or at least me... You can NEVER go wrong with socks, makes my life so much easier. And because we have this freakish antiquated gas powered dryer, I lose more socks to the evil dryer from hell then you could even imgagine.

HEY! Are you trying to dupe me Hal? I want belly button lint, not that artificial dryer lint stuff. I know my lint.I'll be able to tell.

"you can pretend you're taking medicine when really you're eating candy" which is a whole lot better than pretending you are eating candy when you are taking medicine. I have a thing for spinach. I love spinach and tomato salads with sunflower seeds and raisins. I also buy frozen stuff for cooking and usually eat it with pasta.

Spinach is good. I made smoked trout cakes the other night with chopped spinach and apples in them. they were quite tasty with horesradish sauce. I made a salad the same night that had sliced apples in it. I'm trying to be creative in my cooking without taking seven hours to make a meal these days. ps...agatha, I will fill you in on married life and career stuff. just haven't conspired to keep my ass in the chair long enough to write something worthwhile.

You will get your belly button lint, that is produced by me and me alone. The dryer creates this film they call lint. I laugh at its pathetic attempt at reality.

broccoli has as much vitamin C as an orange and as much calcium as milk! I always put an egg (lightly scrambled) into my ramen water when they're about a minute from done. It soaks up the flavour real nice and makes me feel like i'm eating more than just cheap noodles and salt. cheap noodles, salt AND an egg.

I've also been supplimenting can's of Corn Beef Hash. Which I figure is a good thing, reguardless of how greasy it is fried. I get the cans free from a friend who gets them from his parents and doesn't like hash. I don't get it, who DOESN'T like hash, Nate?

hal: look at this: http://menshealth.com/food2/food02.shtml

I wish that colon link worked

hal, this is not what you want to hear right now, but if you just pursue what you really want to do, you WILL succeed. do what you want to do and the money will follow. by the way, when i was in high school (early 1970's) there was a guy who was the older brother of a girl my age (so, we all thought he was cool because he was a late 60's hippie), who was filling a pillow case with belly button lint. it was gross then and it's gross now.

my belly button never has lint in it. What am I doing wrong?

Its all in the shirts you wear Gee.... All in the shirts.

Mine either. I reckon its a boy thing.

you can get some out of the dryer and just push it in by hand.

I dont own a dryer.

it depends on the depth of your belly button, i think. Mine's pretty shallow, so i never get lint either. There's nmot much hair around it, and i think that may also be a factor.

mines pretty deep. But even when I was thinner it was too. the Pandyr likes to put his finger in it and make a popping noise. stupid bellybutton

gee, mel, your belly button sounds lovely.

Mel has the worlds sweetest belly button... Mine is a lint button, so its not the chick attracting type. Here if your interest in BBL is expansive check this out: http://www.bluegalaxy.org/lint.htm

Dryer lint is great tinder for campfires. Just collect it in a ziploc a couple weeks before you go, and voila, no more rummaging for dry pine needles and small branches. I usually pick prodigious amounts of lint out of my belly button before I go to sleep -- it seems to come from cotton undershirts and t-shirts. There must be a nice little pile under my bed at home.

that's right. i imagine that mel's navel holds the secret to her being. one only needs to explore.

um, just a note: that is yucky. carry on.

not yucky at all. mel is a beautiful woman. therefore, her navel is beautiful and exploration is required.

yes, mel is beautiful and all that. you were the yucky part. a man- reasonably older than she is and who she does not know- contemplating the delightful secrets of her navel. sorry, that's just how it is.

Harsh, dude. That was way harsh. I'm sure all the ladies here contemplated the delightful secrets of my navel when I posted "I usually pick prodigious amounts of lint out of my belly button before I go to sleep" and yet I didn't feel the need to castigate them. For shame, for shame.

"you were the yucky part. a man- reasonably older than she is and who she does not know- contemplating the delightful secrets of her navel. sorry, that's just how it is." that's bullshit, heather. you just don't like joe and like to make catty remarks to him. which is also rather yucky.

thats bullshit dave. you just don't like heather not liking joe and like to call her on her catty remarks with near-equal catty remarks of your own you wierd car driving motherfucker.

perhaps, dave. but i really have tried. it is true that at first i was really annoyed with all that mark stuff and i couldn't seem to keep my mouth shut but that seems to have slowed down some. you might notice that i did not comment on the first reference to mel's bellybutton. i can't help it that he comes across as creepy to me and i thought that i was not the only one. the thing is that i think that he's an upstanding type of guy why might want to be clued in on what sounds weird from a girl point of view. i wasn't very nice about it, but then, i'm not really that nice. yes, sometimes i am yucky.

when you say Mel, are you talking about Moonit? I assume you are, as my belly button is really nothing to speak of. Speaking of which: Moon, guess what? I have a date with a boy named Andrew this weekend. hee! We're like twins, you and I!

I have a date with a boy named Andrew this weekend too

that's a little spooky, but not quiet as much as ME having a date with an Andrew.

I know. I just wanted to be cool too.

Gee that IS spooky. To be quite honest, sometimes Joe's posts do scare me a little, but being a polite little kiwibird I say nothing. There. Now you all know. Kazoo, Dates with Andrew's are all good. Mine is a pandyr drew. Isn't Sem and Andy Andrew? Gee whats yours?

dave, quit stirring the pot, you asswipe.

sweet god, what have me and my lint started this time.

i guess i don't see anything overtly out of line in joe's posts. i don't get what is so offensive or menacing. presumptuous, maybe. that's nothing new here. whatever. i stand corrected. carry on.

....the magical power of hal's bellybutton lint. Will wonders never cease.

Spunky will be very disappointed in you Hal, if you ever let terrorists get control of your lint.

are you blaming your lint hal? You Lint-First-Blamer-Hater you!!!!

No, not blaming the lint, it was ME and the god damned lint... Get it straight we're a pair man. No worries Sem, my lint is well protected from terrorists and ninja squirrels by my overtly agressive house cat. Who eats more then I do, and has this facination with attempting to kill small things that move. Needless to say, he's been this way since he was a kitten. Thus, if I ever get to have sex again (been over a year now.) he's staying the fuck out of my room till its over and I have sufficent protection against ball of mangy death.

Hal, you don't have yer cel anymore?!? Gimme a call if you can.

*Excessive Dancing* *More Excessive Dancing* *So much dancing its probably beyond the point of reason now.* Hal.... has.... a.... girlfriend.... *Continuation of insane over the edge too much dancing.*

woo-hoo!!!!!!!!!!!!! Okay, now that someone has acknowledged it, what's the scoop?

Do tell....

moonit, i'm sorry for trying to sound like i'm close to you, which is exactly what my post was meant to convey. i need to chill. i like and respect you, as i respect your country and i apologize for getting carried away. being scary is not my style or intent.

Now you're scaring me.

Damn it Hal you know it's bad sorabji etiquette to announce a new relationship and not give out any details...

C'mon, now that we're all on edge here... you must tell.

sorry i scared you, czar. hal's new relationship is important. i hope it's his "last" one.

the only thing i don't understand is why my age is such an issue. just because i made a remark about mel's navel doesn't mean that i'm harboring some sick sexual desire. why is that assumed? my only intention is to share my life experience, just like the rest of you. you can either ignore me or communicate with me, but don't pretend to know me. if i challenge any of you, it's because i see a little bit of my arrogant fucking self in some of you. my life is pretty much in order now. it only took 48 years. i hope others will get there faster.

i think it's because you haven't given the ladies of sorabji any reason to believe that your pee-pee could make them go woo-woo. that probably wasn't ever your direct intention but it's what they need in order to accept even the most innocuous navel adoration without feeling merely objectified. i wonder how the very same statement you made would be accepted if semillama or patrick or nate had made it. . . they'll say it puts them in an uncomfortable position. it boils down to you not being able to switch the attraction bit from 0 to 1. therein lies the conflict. you aren't what they fish for. as if that's your fault.

it's so considerate of you to speak for all of us, dave. It can be so tiring to try and form an opinion all by myself, and then actually have to vocalize it. We're so lucky to have you here. But please do tell me: wherever did you aquire your mind-reading skills in the first place? Such gifts you have!

I don't think there was anything unseemly about Joe's comment. I do think it's sorta silly to flirt about people's physical qualities over a messageboard, though, esp. when you have never met the object of your flirtation and probably never will. Oooooh, Dave, you've got such huge arms...

<that's right. i imagine that mel's navel holds the secret to her being. one only needs to explore.> No-one here could make this statement without me being creeped out. Except maybe Gee or Spider, cause I would know they are taking the piss. With Joe though, I'm never quite sure. And I'm sorry mate, but thats the way it is.

im pretty sure if i said it you'd think i was intentionally being a doof.

i give dave full permission to speak for me at any time. He will be my legal rep from now on, as well. It'll be damn more interesting than anything i make up by myself. and the spelling may improve. in return i'm willing to take any urine tests for him. My shiny clean urine will dazzle any doctor he may encounter, as well as the passersby. Oh, that you could only whitness the sparkle of my pee.

cool. yes, the whole thing gets sillier and sillier.

Dave, why didn't you acknowledge my fantastic memory?! I know that was you.

i did notice and i was trying to think of something properly witty but couldn't. i got in trouble from agatha last night for saying what i said. apparently men don't know what it's like to be women but women infallibly know where we're coming from. some kind of intuition hocus pocus, i'm told. what a cool super power to have. man, i'm gonna get the stink-eye tonight.

I hope not -- you were only trying to be helpful.

I thought the spookiness was over, but now I'm not so sure. We'll see. he won't let me call him Drew. and I so wanted too. apparently that's what his mommy called him.

Well the way Joe comes across on the board isnt the same as Patrick who isn't the same as Nate (i just typed sane then... maybe I shouldn't of changed it)... do I need to go on? You react to different people in different ways, some comments Patrick makes really piss me off, some comments Joe makes creep me out, but then again those same people can say things that make me curse taking a drink of water as I read their messages. (from laughing). I'm not the type of person to jump in and fight, or argue, or make snide comments. The fact I admitted that sometimes Joe scares me was a big step! But you're all judging for yourselves from one comment on this thread. None of you have read his emails to me.... and I'm not the type of person who will post them here for you to do so... I dont know what the fuck I am talking about now. I have lost my train of thought. think what you want. you will anyway

whoa!!!! joe has sent you creepy emails???? fucking cool!

Nate creeps me out because I know how infinitely powerful he is.

i'm pretty sure that i never claimed to know where the fuck you, or any other man for that matter, were coming from, DAVE. you are soooo lucky that anabel is here tonight.

*snicker* dave id invite you over to drink beers and play playstation if i could.

jesus christ, people. i was just kidding around with the "navel" shit. i thought it was just like any of the sarcastic bullshit that all of you post. mel, i'm really sorry if i have ever creeped you out. you never told me that. so, reading it here really hurts. it's ok. i won't communicate with you anymore.

well, then. . . the plug is pulled. i am so baked on cold medicine and busch. masayo howell. beautiful black/japanese girl with long curly hair down to her butt and gorgeous black-freckled cheeks. 7th grade. i NEVER asked a woman out after that. took me 20 years to realize how foolish i was during those 20 years. it ruined me. so there ya go. probably clarifies a whole heap of shit.

7th grade. come on. that's pretty lame if you ask me. you were 12 for fuck sakes.

I was being melodramatic about it ruining me, but there is a shadow of truth in that. i really never asked another girl out. and i don't flirt unless flirted to first.

that's what i was trying to say the other night. i'm glad you can see that in yourself. thank god i had the sense to ask you out, even though i was a total freak after the fact.

boys are funny

"funny". sure, that's one word for it, i guess.

Funny? Maybe. Walking, talking hormones? Yes.

at least they're predictable.

Somewhat.

yes, men are predictable. we're simple in intellect and intent. we need women to set our lives straight and help us become real citizens of society. hell, we can't even figure out what kind of canned soup to buy. we are stupid and base and without the guidance of women we would destroy the world with our violence and beer drinking.

Nate, I'm so proud of you. With this statement, you have admitted your problem and begun a journey on the 12-step program to being a more femininist man.

what a mean thing to say.

sorry, i believe too much in equality and freedom to be a feminist. you must have missed my sarcasm. oppressor.

Gol! You must have missed the joke, dork.

sorry, it's just not funny coming from a woppressor.

Wop Wop Wop Wop Wop Wop...

wanker.

No. Morse Code. Wanker

let me clarify: i meant at least men are predictable, because they mostly operate in a logical manner that i can understand. As opposed to females. who are fucking scary. ....they want shoes, that's all i've been able to get so far.

but... i want shoes.

Shoes are good. I learned that I have 27 pairs when I moved. Men are strange. A married man took me out to dinner after we went skiing last week. We are supposed to go skiing again this Monday, cross country skiing. We are meeting for breakfast, first. I hope that this is not leading anywhere. And the best thing he's told me as of yet is, "My wife doesn't care if I see other women."

they have my grandfather heavily sedated with high dosages of both prozac and xanax. even at 81 years old with an oxygen tube permanently stuffed up his nostrils he's still volatile and tempermental enough to need it. it's too bad nobody had the sense to figure out that his radically violent and unmanaged temper was not normal. it's also too bad they didn't have prozac or xanax fifty years ago. it might have prevented all those times he chucked my grandmother down the basement stairs and his beating up on his two daughters. when i was 4 years old, before my folks were divorced, my mother went away with her best friend Gayle on a trip to colorado. i went to stay with my aunt. my mother was supposed to be gone a week. she came back six months later. and she calls me two weeks before i'm to arrive in tampa to uninvite me to christmas, because she doesn't approve of my life and she doesn't like the way i behave. i can't wait to get to key west for new years.

That sounds like my father's side of the family. I'm sorry; I wish I had something helpful to say. I've been listening to the same Nick Drake song for almost an hour. (It's been one of those days.)

di di di dah, dit, di dah dit, dah di dah dah,...di di dah dit, di di dah, dah di dah dit, dah di dah, dit, dah di dit,...di di dah, di dah dah dit.

thanks kazoo. my heart is not at all tormented about any of the family dramas, past or present. i'm well over it. it's the reason i ran away (as far away as i could!) as soon as i graduated from college. it's only when i get back around these people that they drive me nuts. all this pretending all the time of how close we all are, what a loving family we are, with all of these (mostly made-up) fond memories and family "traditions". it's like everyone has just agreed to live out a giant lie. which is fine. i mean, i guess it's better than being sad and angry and holding grudges. but it comes out in other ways. my mother is just a person doing the best she can every day. she's the main instigator of drama in the family. she frequently starts fights with others because her feelings are hurt or she wants to keep under control the nice little reality she's fabricated. i've finally figured out why she's always starting fights with me... it's because i don't care. i love my mother because she's my mother, but i don't really care about being "close" with my family. i don't really care when she gets all bent out of shape. i do my own thing, live my own life (mostly happily. and mostly without her.), and stay away as much as possible. and i'm not really angry or upset about it. i don't hate or despise, i don't feel passionately about any of them one way or another. they're just people to me, people i don't really know very well. yeah. i'm the black sheep. it's okay. i honestly don't care. and there's definitely a reason for that. so my sister** got married yesterday in michigan. (sem: she got married at the Whitney downtown. have you ever been inside that place or know anything about its history? it's amazing.) i'm very close to her. she and her husband invited me to crash their honeymoon in key west when they found out i was going to be in florida for the holidays. i'm staying a couple blocks off duvall street. i fly down tomorrow morning and staying all week. *** the daughter of my mother's second husband, who i've known since i was 4-5. we were neighbors first, then our folks got divorced and my mom moved in with her dad, and then they were married when we were nine or ten, and divorced again when we were nineteen or twenty. she's only 5 months older than me, we graduated from high school together in the same class. she's awesome.

One of the things that I really like about my immediate family is how open we are with the things that happened in the past. We don't talk about it all the time but we don't act like nothing happened either. I am pretty close to them and to a couple of cousins and aunts, but that's about it. I get along with everyone else, however, by living so far away I don't have to deal with some of the crap that my mother tells me about. I listened to that song for about three hours last night. This happens from time to time.

Sarah don't let them label you a black sheep,they are the ones with issues.You went to college,graduated,and you support yourself.What the hell does your mother want? I wish I could say that about Ryan,maybe we should trade. I'm sure Ryan could show her what a black sheep really is.

my brother. funny. he has a georgian accent. i love him. he is a typical middle child vying for attention. he equates Coltrane and Miles with "that sleepy shit our uncle listens to" (i.e. Verdi,Pucini and such). He loves Rob Schneider films. He asked for "sweet tea" said brisk and southernly. Eveyr waiter had to ask him to repeat himself. I told him all they over here is unsweetened or that Nestea shit. He got a tattoo on Hollywood blvd. He noted the strip joint and tattoo parlor cited in a Motley Crue song. He wanted to go and sit in the chair that Vince Neil and others like him have sat in. He went on for days about the decorative painting of "love tacos" outside the stand around the corner from my house. Shirts with "In Doh" and the character has red eyes as if he is stoned (he explained the joke to me for about 5 minutes). He had never even heard of an anti-SUV rant until he saw me. He had no clue what i was talking about. Yeah its silly, but the world he lives in is a easy moving river. Steady current, few rocks. He didnt see the difference in quality of his digital images on the screen and my printed images. He was sure that the printed image would be obsolete in 5 years. He owns a palm pilot for the games and nothing more. I love my brother because he was the bull dozer that cleared the path for me. He doesnt realize it, nor would i ever bother to explain it to him. He tried my patience but Im glad he saw some world he has never seen before. Check out that fucking bird that got caught in the frame.

From your description of your brother Patrick, I would instantly know which one he was in that photo even if I had never seen a photo of you before.

of course.

aren't you like eight feet tall, patty? how tall is your fucking brother?

i think my bro is shrinking. im 6'2". he's about the same, maybe an inch or so shorter. that last pic is an illusion as we are on uneven ground.

god, i would give anything to have had a brother like patrick.

one of my regrets is not doing more to clear the path for my little bro. i mean, he gets some slack just cause he's younger, but i never managed to really stand up to my mom, and now he's going through a lot of the same shit i did with her. now i'm gonna turn defensive and say i cant help it that every time i see her get upset i start to cry, even if its not at all my fault. i feel responsible. but of course bringing up this subject upsets her, so i dont. i just say, thanks ma, its ok, you did a good enough job with me and here i am, and i'll just learn to take care of our relationship's junk residue cause i'm gonna be an adult now. because really, its time for me to move on from that. but it wrenches my heart to see him having the same arguements i gave up on time after time. he just turned 15, and he is an awesome kid, really smart, a little more challanged on the social side, but he's starting to catch up on that stuff. i dont know if there's anything i can do for him.

ophelia, just talk with him and try to explain all the shit. i wish my older sister had done that with me. your brother needs an ally right now. do your best to make him understand that, even though you're older, you have something useful to offer. he might not want to believe it but you know that it's true so push as hard as you can. what you said about your relationship with your mom really hit home. as the non-custodial parent in my divorce i have spent years questioning my adequacy as a parent and questioning my daughter about it as well. i needed to hear that i was ok. now, i wonder if i have pushed her to praise my skills as a parent just so she can maintain a relationship with me. i wish she would tell me that i was a fuck-up once in a while, but it never happens. i just don't want her to have a fucked-up life because of me.

actually, my brother comes to me to ask for help, so i know he believes i can help. i just dont know whether theres much i can say to explain it, other than, yeah, i've been there too, it landed me in depressionland, but with drugs and therapy and crying and journaling i lived through it. kind of poor comfort, you know? also, he is better than i am at arguing with her.

the simple fact that the two of you have a dialogue is wonderful. don't underestimate your contribution to this relationship. just be honest.

I regret I'm not the world's dictator.

nobody else does.

How would you feel if you found out you had an older sister? At any age of your life? That she was kept a secret from you, you found out accidently - or if your parents sat you down and told you? This question involves using your imagination!

Depends. Is she hot?

i would feel pissed off that i've been spending all this time and energy being the first born and all when really i'm a middle kid. also she better be cool or i'll be pissed. hopefully she's done all the things that i've been afraid to do and now i can pester her and she will be my mentor.

Dougie, if mine's hot and your's is hot you want to swap?

Theres a fifteen year age gap you morons. (not you Heather - thanks)

How does she feel about you Mel?

Like Dave....Masayo Howell (probably the same one). She was a beautiful law student... Stood her up for a date here in Philadelphia in 1994 or 1995 because I was closing out my relationship with an ex on the same night. She (the ex) showed up unannounced in my City Hall office and I needed to finish all of the unpleasant things with her. I made up an excuse to Masayo afterward with hopes that she would still go out with me later, but she never forgave me. She said we could be friend/buds but we could NEVER date....Wish I would have nixed the ex and went out with her.

jesus fucking hell. google sucks.

Is that why all these old threads are being restarted? Fucking hell.

Hey but look - here's a thread where I did the speaking out thing. Go me.

Moonit, did you know Vin Diesel plays Dungeons and Dragons? true. He said so in an interview about his movie, "the Chronicles of Riddick", the follow up to "Pitch Black". Looks pretty cool - has Judi Dench, Thandi Newton and Karl Urban (Eomer from LOTR).

despite being a follow-up to Pitch Black, a good flick, 'Riddick' looks more cheesy than i care to remember. The trailer did, anyway, i was cringing.

haven't seen the trailer yet, will keep an eye out for it. D&D? For real?

I saw the trailer and thought looked cool, but it doesn't seem to have anything in common with Pitch Black. It looks more like something HR Giger dreamed up.

it doesn't have anything to do with pitch black aside from a couple characters (obviously, Riddick, and one other). still, looks cool to me. and I agree with the Giger look. It sort of looks chessy but I think it has the potential to be really cool.

does it matter if it sucks. VIN is in it! heheh I need a life.