| THIS IS A READ-ONLY ARCHIVE FROM THE SORABJI.COM MESSAGE BOARDS (1995-2016). |
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I mean, what was it she shrieked at? Were you losing air? *pj prepares to be smacked* |
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THWACK !!! and again !!!!THWACK !!!!! SMACK!!!!!! |
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*g* |
*g* |
The Time: The late 70's The Place: High School The What: Health Class The Details: CPR class. We had to practice giving mouth to mouth on different types of CPR dummies (or is it more accurate to say "Dummys"?). It was our final test for the CPR portion of the class. We had to walk up to the front of the class and draw a slip out of a fishbowl. 1 meant you would demonstrate CPR on the life size male dummy who who was very stiff, very rigid, very immobile. Very hard to manipulate. If you didn't do the compressions just right, the lights on a little console wouldn't light up. Nobody could get the damn things to light up. Draw a 2 and you got the infant dummy. Don't breathe in too hard or you'll blow the damn baby's stomach up. Number 3 means you get the female track star, dressed in a warm-up suit and she was inflatable to boot. I drew 3. Poor Ms. Track-Star had been developing a slow leak all class long. By the time it was my turn to walk up to the front of the class, all nervous, all eyes on me, Ms. Track-Star had a severe case of air leakage. Doing a compression on her chest would cause her legs to fly up in the air. Which would make the class laugh. Which would make me laugh. And it is hard to do the breathing right (tip the head back, sweep the mouth, pinch the nostrils closed, breathe out) when you've got a laughing fit going on. The poor teacher was so frustrated, and tried so hard to be cool in front of the students, that when I was done, he grabbed poor Ms. Track-Star, pulled her sweatpants down and cut her in half. A week later he received a bill for Ms. Track-Star. Who knew that CPR dummies with air leaks could cost so much? He asked us for donations to help cover his pain. Ms. Track-Star was never the same. |
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And slicing up CPR dummies? Have you 2 been skipping yr meds again...? Me -- you might want to consider a career change. I remember years ago seeing a piece on some window display genius who set up a store window (for Barney's, I think -- but don't quote me on that) using live mannequins. They got paid a mint to stand perfectly still in the window for hours on end. It was during Xmas & the display was a huge hit w/the passers-by. But I cdn't figure out how they kept themselves from blinking when people wd stand outside & stare at them/waiting for them to show some sign of life. Or (if you're male) you cd apply for a job guarding Buckingham Palace. |
Which reminds me of another (TRUE) story that this teacher told us. Of a male CPR dummy that some kid had ripped off from the school a fews years previous. And proceded to use that dummy for uhmm, his amorous, amateurish conquests. Know what I mean??? |
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Actually, it was just the teachers who were strange....the school itself was pretty normal. (and I find that you can get a lot done at 9:30 at night when you're still at work....ha!) |
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I can't type worth a damn now. Stupid teachers! |