You know, I just realized today, that I have absolutly no idea who 'I' really am. I saw that I fit into no group, not that that matters. I saw that people walk around every day, knowing who they are, and what they want, and all that, but I have no idea who I am. I mean, I know what my name is, and where I live, all the basic things, but I do not know who I am inside. I am Star, the lonely and unconfident Star. I have a crush on one of my best friends Beth, and I don't know if she feels the same. I am Star, who sings in the shower, has a system for everything, like eating, sleeping, and going into a movie theater. I am Star, who likes cream cheese on saltine crackers, and ketchup on potato chips. I am Star, who grew up on a farm, in the same house forever. I am Star, who is the only person in my immediate family who likes Tori Amos, and the beach. I am Star, who a guy I didn't even know once drove 6 hours to see. I know all this, but yet I don't, I don't know who I am at all...

who does? anyone who says they know exactly who they are is either lying or misguided.

Too true. It seems impossible to capture the essence of human nature, at any rate. It is wierd how the internet impersonalizes people--it's really hard to capture someone's character in words alone, so everyone gets preconceptions about other people, which are either shattered or realized in eerie detail whent hey meet in person. Peculiar. Anyway. Enough of my blithering.

In this morass of human existance, thank the heavens people are still wondering who they are. Too bad none of us will never know. Sure, we can associate our "selves" with external characteristics like: "I am a stock-broker with bags of money, and I am important" Or "I am a psycho-tronic love commando and my thingie is bigger than yours so all woman should pay homage". Or "I am a loser; the world is against me" Or I am a nerd, a queer, a rebel, etc.etc. But these are all transient qualities that are unimportant labels. How one define him/herself is very telling as too whether they are truly exploring life, or know it all already. I for one, and it sounds like Star, too, do not know, but must not depair. The very act of sharing the little details of life means that you are a lot of things: Sensitive Adventurous Curious Free-spirited Not bad for starters. 99% of people that we all dal with on a day to day basis can even get near this. Listen to a song called Ripple by the Grateful Dead and read Henry David Thoreau's Walden Pond. Then think about who you are and be that person.

i am the transitional link between my parents and my child. my purpose is served. undeniably.

That was fuckin' a-right Dave. I tend to the metaphysical, but there ain't no denying down to earth truth and common sense. Blessed Be for the straight-shooters.

Hey Star, Can I watch you and Beth sing in the shower and eat saltines with cream cheese? Hee-Hee-Hee-Hee

I am a spiritual being having a human experience. I am not a stock broker with bags of money. I am not a movie star with a house in the hills. I am higher than that. I am on a quest to truly live my life at at higher level. In touch with the creative power of the universe and aware of my insignificance. why do people pay such homage to movie stars? it's not like they really do anything important. they fucking act for chrissake. they pretend for a living. the only reason actors are put on this pedastal is because americans put them there. what about all the doctors and scientists making the world a better place. they are the important ones. suckers think that they can fake this, but i'm a drop it at a higher level.

i just spout shit like that to make me feel better about my own personal non-greatness. by pointing out the non-greatness inherent in all of us, i can conclude that i'm doing just fine. that's the theory, anyway. you guys are. have a day.