| THIS IS A READ-ONLY ARCHIVE FROM THE SORABJI.COM MESSAGE BOARDS (1995-2016). |
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that was one year ago in may. now i'm having such a hard time because everything that i want to do, everything that sounds like a good solution to my problems, totally coflicts with everything i've been taught to believe. school, for instance. is a community college of miscealanious teachers and thousands of students really an education? buying textbooks that i never read? i don't know what direction to go in, but i know i can't stay where i'm at, both physically and mentally, because i'd go crazy before long. physically, it's easy--i might have an apartment lined up right now (i'm waiting for an email from my would-be landlord). there's so much that needs doing, and i can't do everything. and what about how? i hopped into the shower and thought about killing myself--slit wrists, hanging, closed eyes while doing 50 on the highway. i really don't know. i guess more than anything i'm 19-year-old kid who's so scared--i'm supposedly leading an "ideal life" but if i get sick or anything, everything can be wiped away in an instant. educational records, my next paycheck. if my car stopped working, i'd really be screwed at this point. i don't want to end up in some stupid office all day long. teaching's ok, but it would make me feel so weird because i really don't like the system at this point. all i seem to know these days is what i don't want--and it's happening already. |
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it's never as bad as it seems. You vision is skewed so reassure yourself that things are NOT exact with these "coke-bottle" glasses on. Community college has teachers, not misc. teachers. I have found that community colleges can actually be quite interesting, as they are institutions not necessarily jaded by the prestige and pressures that come with big universities. head to a major university and enjoy classes in ampitheaters, straining to hear the mega busy professor, who has his TA field questions. I know I got more of a personal education at a community college than at the university i attended. you seem bogged down by the pressures "to be something" when in fact i'd advocate NOT thinking 10 years down the road,NOT focusing on anything, as that seems to be the source of your pressures. Im suspecting you got your parents barking in one ear, your own conscious in the other. Hit the road, give yourself some freedom, live a little. You need a break, you seem to need a long road east , some good friends...maybe an open bus ticket or a Shell card. |
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i'll be hearing more from the owner in a couple of days. once i'm out and the term's over, i'm going to give up driving so my sister can have the car. if i can have my job transferred to a different store, i can get to everything i need on my own two feet, a bicycle and public transportation. i could even have lunch with my mom sometimes on weekdays. right now the writing and creating are my passions. writing, drawing and a certain degree of sclpture have been luring me in, besides playing around with portable tape recorders. zines. another thing i'm looking at is joining the iprc (independent publisher's recource center) so i can get free internet and major discounts on copies (like three cents each). i'm slowly reducing the amounts of chicken and fish i'm consuming and am trying to do vegan when i'm cooking. trying to eat more fruits and veggies, particularly organic. i had this huge organic fuji apple for my snack yesterday and it was one of the best i've tasted ever. i'm re-evalutaing my environment and doing my best to change my current situation. i dropped my english class because i was stressing out and couldn't write anything for it. i'm getting rid of a bunch of cd's i never listen to (the awful ones i never listen to, have no desire to listen to). i have a beautiful leather coat that i've worn once in the last three years (it was a christmas gift when i was 14...a year and a half later i began my path to vegetarianism). i'm going to sell it because it really is beautiful, even if it is leather. no sense in keeping it and it might just pay my first month's rent. if i do move. |
are these principles you a sense of identity or is your identity offering you these principles, especially regarding the desire to not eat animals or their by-products? |
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I read an article last year that showed that a sense of a lack of autonomy is a great risk factor for the development of depression in adolescent girls. I know your family has problems with controlling you. Being on your own and able/allowed to take care of yourself will help you feel better and be better. Art/writing are also great for expressing yourself/creating beauty/being productive. You're smart. You seem good and kind. Those are great strengths you have....you'll see that you'll do really well on your own. |
so would they not let a meat eater live there, even though he or she was a good friend and was sure to be a good roomate? |
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VENICE $350 to $650/mo Spiritual Rebel "Yesss" center, New Age Veggie Meditation, 4 house community. Im amazed by this. It really disapoints me actually, but what do i care. |
Would pref M. No strong chemicals or perfumes plse. Wallingford M/F to shr lrg sunny veggie house. We are independent spirit minded ages 45-53 years. (2M-3F + 1cat) NS/NP, pref Veg. North Seattle Room avail in vegetarian, cat-friendly household. NS, veg M/F. 28yo M artist w/ labrador to shr w/ 1 M/F. Positive, openminded, semi-veg. Be reliable, congnial, NS, animal lover. Charming, friendly, cozy NS semi-veg home, huge yard, W/D. Must be open minded and like dogs.NO FLAKES! NS, veg M/F. Wallingford 30sM 40sM to share tidy, quiet, 3br, 1 ba green-oriented home. You: indep housebroken, have steady day job. Room available in 4 bedroom semi-vegi household. No junkies. Room for rent in 2 bdrm/2 bath apt. Gay friendly. Rooms for rent. $400-$500. Queer Preferred. Gay or gay friendly only. large yard, dog ok. Share w/ cool but quiet workoholic. No fratboys, fuck ups or drugs Share w/ mom, son, & hse. dog. Pagan friendly pref. No tweakers. Herb ok. Must like animals, be herb tolerant. Seeking honest, enjoyable company...NOT a hideout housemate!! Creative/Eclectic a plus. I'm fun,open-minded,employed. Lkng for same for cohabitation. NS inside, veg+. Career minded, college educated females in early twenties to share with same. Independent., artistic, open minded Female seek same to share Small 2 bdrm. 1 male and 2 females seek easygoing, responsible, working, housemate with no evil habits. No pets, no squares. mixed gay/stray, 30+ seek 1to share lrg Victorian w/all amenities, big yrd, prking, jetted tub, decks, kiln. $525 incl util+cable. Easy-friendly, * no ACTIVE alchol/addicts. Gay Male Household. Partiers, neat freaks and fucks need not apply. Sentient beings, smokers & Tuba players req'd! 25+ yo, mature, re$pon$ible, etc. Looking for Gay male to live with Lesbian in 2bdrm duplex w/basement. |
Seriously, it was majorly scary at the market today. There were all these ancient nasty crab and urchin divers eyeing my ass. It just reminded me that there's kind of a lot to eye right now. I should get my vegan ass off the couch and go do some crunches or something. Is it a well lighted basement, Pez? |
"what did you do in dc?" saturday night I went out for drinks with a pro-cuba lobbyist, a reporter, a national gay lesbian task force organizer, a soon-to-be-former defense industry contractor waiting for her foreign service assignment, an amtrak lobbyist, and a post-production editor for the discovery channel. on our way out we saw ralph nader walking down (the middle of) the street. we didn't ask him to come with us because he looked busy. (he was carrying manila envelopes.) |
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but i'd rather ask for good hygiene. i would probably also be a bitch about ugly furniture in shared spaces. that is so wrong. |
the basement isn't finished, he's just starting to fix it up. it's a nice layout, and will be a lot of fun to paint and decorate. besides, i recognized the name that went with the ad, so i contacted him. i think it's alot better if you have some inkling about what the place would be like. better than answering an ad: "two college girls living near mhcc. no mullets please." besides, i'll be able to keep my kitty. if i left without her she'd be pretty unhappy. it's a good idea to be picky, i think, because it's better than having tons of spats later. |
la te da. |
Damn. That's some wind. It's blowing the storm door back and forth. I should find some way to secure it. |
Watch the goat shit though. |
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Don't take on other folks' shit. We usually have enough of our own to deal with. Don't let others dump on you. If the furniture is really ugly, give it to Good will. They deserve it. And Heather, you can be snobby; I know where you live. |
i'm going to assume that you mean that figuratively. um, well? i find it unnerving when people that i haven't met in person say that they know where i live. [good will deserves really ugly furniture?] |
I wonder about the veggie houses that are cat friendly. I guess they're ok with all the meat the cats eat. |
as for depression, i wouldn't know but i hear exercise does wonders for it. |
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someone put crack in my coffee today and typing is really fun right now! |
im not necessarily sayings its bad to be choosy agatha...it jsut seems there are far more important things i watched singles on the tely over the weekend...christ what a dumbass movie. maybe there are lingering thoughts about the pacific northwest lifestyle. |
joe doesn't allow meat in the house. that doesn't mean you can't eat meat elsewhere if you want. i asked about sylvie because she's turning into quite the hunter. he said that was actually ideal because there're mice in the house and he feels bad about setting traps, but a "natural predator" is ok. took a long walk around "town" yesterday for almost three hours and took lots of pictures: road signs, the edge of the tar, the army surplus, old schoolhouse (used for a craft school now) and the pioneer cemetary. and the old house near mine that was once the post office and stagecoach stop. this area has a lot of history and it's pretty interesting. * * * i just found out why oregon is so white: believe it or not, but there is a long history of racism here, beginning with the banning of slaves here before the civil war. so we wouldn't have to get involved, not because slavery is wrong. |
medford, oregon, had a "sunset law" (no blacks allowed out after dark) on the books until the early 1970s. I'm reading a novel about john brown -- "cloudsplitter" by russell banks. he was the radical white abolitionist who massacred a bunch of people at harper's ferry. |
the last novel I read was also historical fiction very loosely based in truth -- "blonde" by joyce carol oates. there were a lot more sex scenes in that book. so far one of john brown's sons has gotten a blowjob, that's all. |
john brown (not to be confused w/james brown, rolf!) and some of his cronies holed themselves up in the battery with all the guns and ammo, with the intention of handing the weapons out to slaves so they could kill their masters. they were caught, and all involved were hung. now john brown's body lies a mouldring in the grave... |
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repeat it! ha. i am so demanding. |
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besides, they're giving them away for free out in front of Joe's Bar. i'm just a little frightened of the patronage. |
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i imagine christie brinkley would give horrible blowjobs. |
Actually, she's very good. |
blowjobs are over rated anyway nate. |
im my opinion thats just absurd political correctness gone too far. did this guy get his balls snipped as young child? forget it.... as far as Oregonian culture goes, I know when i've done market research...most of the state doesn't take kindly to anything homosexual. Of ourse in Portland, all of the bookstores are fairly liberal, and cool. i heard more times that not, from the seemingly flannel-wearing lumberjack types "we don't have any of them kind in this town". At times, it seemed even the south was more kind gays than Oregon. |
i gotta go now. |
my highschool was prctically run by a single church. a cross-dressing boy (he was in my writing group too) made the front page of the oregonian. i live fairly close to portland...20 miles from north portland...and the "culture" of the city doesn't go very far. which reminds me...the "town" is going to pot. a mcdonalds is opening in a month. time to leave. |
but the oregon outside portland is another matter, of course. there it's all wal-mart, tax evaders, and homophobic bigots. |
sounds like you've never had a real blowjob. so sorry. |
i disagree. which is easier to negotiate... a blow pop or one of those suckers nearly a foot in diameter. |
phhhhhhissssstttt. it's 90% white protestant. it took me a long time to trust the area latinos....but i think i've gotten over any racism i've had in the past. i'm lucky enough to be in a liberal family, however paranoid. "paranoid" meaning my mother thinks volunteering at a homeless shelter is unsafe. i'd rather volunteer than donate money. there's lots of money out there, but i think it's putting in the hours that counts. |
What, were they untrustworthy previously? This is fucked up: http://www.newsday.com/news/daily/suff425.htm There's a group in LI (Sachem Quality of Life Organization: www.sqlife.org) which doesn't want to allow a "hiring hall" in Farmingville, NY for illegal aliens. Currently, they hang out on the streets and wait to be picked for day jobs. Yeah, that looks much better for the community. Face it dumbasses, they're here, they want to work, and they're not going away. If you want to clean up your community, at least give them a place to congregate and a little dignity. Jeez, if people are getting AIDS from sharing needles, you give them clean needles, even though you know they'll do something illegal with them. |
a blow pop or one of those suckers nearly a foot in diameter." your cock is nearly a foot in diameter? |
one of the first serious topics I ever discussed with my boyfriend was whether altruism exists. I think it's better for many people to earn as much money as they can and donate most of it to charity rather than to put in a few hours here and there. if they really want to help out more than they want to feel good about themselves, that is. latinos are my very favorite type of immigrants. they're good landscapers, and they open such great, cheap restaurants. and I love seeing virgen de guadalupe statuettes in people's yards. |
there's a lot of money around. but not many people put effort into changing all the things they complain about. |
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Did you get Berries? damn aol and its file management tricks. You may have gotten blank files, or nothing at all. Ah, the virgin d guadalupe and a day long sucker. sorabjithema. You are not demanding. |
i almost sent a reply called buries, but then i thought it was inappropriate. |
what if they paid the volunteers at homeless shelters? as for the latinos, i never met/saw/knew anyone of latino heritage until i was 13 years old. most that i've dealt with do not know the customs or the english language or our shoe sizes. it took time to swallow my pride and figure out what was wrong and why i couldn't just help them like i did the other customers. now, instead of crying after they leave, i smile while they're there. because once you understand them a little bit, it makes everything easier. |
god, those latinos are spooky. |
sheeesh. im with cyst... "latinos are my very favorite type of immigrants. they're good landscapers, and they open such great, cheap restaurants." not to mention, their influence has brough to my attention sauces i never knew existed such as mole, and all the various hot sauces. I also know how to make and serve tacos properly now. oh and mister nate.... not necessarily saying anythign about my weiner and it's diameter...but merely making a point. i think i'd hit the carnival circuit if it were indeed a foot in diameter. |
then I went there. I've been to about 30 countries, and I've spent years abroad. and spain and mexico may just be my two favorite places. |
NOTHING GODDAMNIT NOTHING. |
last night as a birthday gift I got these two homies: http://www.homiescentral.com/Smiley.htm http://www.homiescentral.com/Tiny.htm |
i used to agree with that. you are on A track. people think they want to question EVERYTHING. but i dare you to apply the inquisitive crusader mentality to everything. it's the fast track to insanity. assumption (the road you take when you're not completely sure) gets a bad rap, but in "reality" it works. i'm not even convinced that we're equipped to question everything. i only say this because if you are suspect of everything you believe, you can wind up feeling quite remote. hindsight is 20/20. hello. my name is slothrop. don't try to argue- i have ESB. heh..ouch! fucking mosquitos...now i must hunt. |
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one morning i got to work really early - you were supposed to be there at 6 a.m. ladcor was basically a converted house with a large backyard that blended into a vacant lot. there was a garden, a chicken coop, a tool shed, a sunflower patch, and some trucks. near the back door there was a picnic table, and i lay down on top of it. pretty soon i look over and start noticing all of these latinos emerging from various places - the trucks, the sunflower patch, the shed. i hadn't known they slept there. and the fact that it was so simultaneous - it was as though an alarm clock had gone off - made it more striking. i worked in a maintenance crew that was mostly white guys and one black guy. we'd mix a little bit in the mornings and then at the end of the day. maybe occasionally get some cerveza or smoke some weed together. some spoke english, some didn't. guests just arrived. |
I think I would like to read some Yeats now. Fair is fair. |
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only the name, brother. i just bought me a 7 dollar pack of chicken y fixins. also picked up a free twelver of red hook. did i steal it? maybe i did. maybe etc. also, got the keys to the next level. |
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pynchon mostly tries too hard. he's like steven tyler. |
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(please don't tell my grandma. she's not supposed to know.) and completely off the topic, i've been approved to live in the veggie house, but the room won't be availiable for another two months. |
my uncle said, "why, it'd take a raftfull of wetbacks to make fences like this again." adrian just laughed it off. there's a texas expression for you, sarah. |
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what are wetbacks? |
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incidentally, the guys i used to work with always used the term "mojado", which basically means "wet" or "dipped in water". my sister just moved out of austin, sarah. adrian took a new job in san antonio. he used to work for the phone company, selling phone systems or something, i don't know what he's doing now. no flies on this kid - he took the job, literally sold the house he and my sister were living in out from under them (my sister called me and said "well, i'm homeless"), and found another place in san antonio without them having to live in hotels or friends' houses. |
lets hit the p-zo with a bowl of shit |
this is Francisco Estrada the puto from central point Oregon. I also go to medford to buy meth and look for things to steal to support my habit so I am one fucked up scumbag of a spic |
now stay far far away before i kill you. |
not that i never whine anymore. |
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now THATS an update post. Merry X-mas! |
hahah fuk off! |
and i don't spend my time making random shit-tossing comments on message boards either. go me! i am so over cocksucking right now. |
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when i didn't care, i loved it. but i've lost that ability not to care quite a bit. |
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ask, don't push. |
are you a chick with a dick? |
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