Who Am I?

sorabji.com: Who are you?: Who Am I?
THIS IS A READ-ONLY ARCHIVE FROM THE SORABJI.COM MESSAGE BOARDS (1995-2016).
By R.C. on Saturday, January 24, 1998 - 02:09 am:
    I am the woman
    who sits at the corner of the bar
    reading a book
    & doesn't want you to buy her a drink
    thanks anyway.

    I am the woman
    who was overcome by tears
    in the produce aisle this afternoon
    for no explicable reason
    or for reasons I will not explain.

    I am the woman
    who sat in the park
    for three hours last week
    watching you hanging back
    behind the statue
    past the fountains
    with yr book
    & a bag of Tootsie Roll pops.

    I am the woman
    who watched you
    watching them
    & realized
    you did not belong
    to any of those children.

    I am the woman who watched
    & waited & wondered
    Are some little girl's panties in yr pocket?
    Have you hunted here before?
    Am I being paranoid?
    Then why cdn't I stop
    myself from shivering
    in the mid-day Florida sunshine?

    I am the woman
    who watched you
    for three hours
    in the park last week.
    Watched you wait
    for a child
    to wander closer
    for a mother
    to for turn away for a moment
    for a ball
    to roll into the invisible circle
    that surrounded you.

    And when our eyes met
    I knew why
    you were there.

    And I prayed for an angel
    but no angel came.
    And I prayed for a cop
    but no cop came.
    And I cdn't tell anyone
    becuz I was just
    a woman watching
    a man who waited.

    And I stayed
    until you left.
    And I followed you
    into the parking lot
    but did not see
    which car you got into.
    Next time
    I will not miss that.
    Now
    I will keep
    my camera
    in the car
    always.

    I am the woman
    who has memorized you.
    The hair on the back of your hands.
    The light eyes (blue I think/
    but I was not close enough
    /maybe grey).
    The beard
    darker than the dirty-blond
    hair beneath the
    blue baseball cap.
    The husky body.
    The book you carried
    & only pretended to read
    when you felt
    other eyes upon you.
    I know your face.

    I am the woman
    who searches for you
    everywhere now.
    Esp. Here.
    No photo of you yet.
    Which means you haven't
    been caught here.
    But there are many sites
    with many more photographs
    & names.

    I am the woman
    who watches & waits
    & knows these are
    the Last Days
    that this is
    the End Time
    when demons roam the streets
    in broad daylight
    & baseball caps.

    I am the woman
    who waits & wonders
    why the world doesn't simply
    vomit in horror
    & end
    right
    now.















By Mother on Saturday, January 24, 1998 - 02:16 am:
    R.C.

    Do you want to talk about it?
By Go ahead. Why are you hesitating on Saturday, January 24, 1998 - 02:18 am:
    Why "next time"?

By Im not trying to be mean but please explain. on Saturday, January 24, 1998 - 02:26 am:
    Thanks for sharing.

    But either memorize or activate. It's not even a threat to the targets of your piece to post here. Targets of your piece may see it here. But they won't feel threatened. They'll just say "so what?"


    Did you really see someone that you thought was stalking youngsters? Did you do anything more than stare?


    Nice link, but is there more to this?
By R.C. on Saturday, January 24, 1998 - 02:43 am:
    I was just unloading something that has been festering inside me for the past week. I have not seen that man since. And walking into a police station with nothing but a description & the instinctive knowledge that 'this guy is wrong' won't accomplish anything. Where I live/the police don't act on people's hunches.

    But I know what I felt when I watched him. I have NEVER felt that before or since. And this is a small city. If I keep looking/I will see him again. But I shd have trusted my instincts abt posting anything abt it/becuz people are obviously having problems with it.
By Marianne Williamson on Saturday, January 24, 1998 - 03:15 am:
    Hey--don't feel badly about posting. I am happy that you posted again on this subject. Unloading is cool.

    Police don't do anything with hunches anywhere. I don't know where you live. But if you feel strongly about a person--confront them. You don't have to say "Hey PERVERT! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"
    You can just speak to them and observe their reactions. A stalker is counting on being ignored and (especially) left alone to some extent. The way to derail their plans is to act normally, but be paying attention. Shadow them. Don't leave them alone if you feel so strongly. I have detained potential stalkers by asking for cigarettes, change, talking about the weather, the Super Bowl, cars, traffic, etc.
    But don't take physical chances that you are not certain that you can handle. It is not necessary to be physical---just let them know that you are paying attention. I can understand the posting "Why 'next time'?" Don't be offended. Go ahead. Ask that guy for directions when you think he's up to something. Drag him into a three-way conversation if you can. Start the old "you look like...(some actor)." Then say to another person (especially someone you don't know and he doesn't either) "Doesn't he look like (so-and-so)?" Just keep that shit up. Let him know that you're paying attention. If you are sure that you know what the person is up to then you can subvert it.
    Please post again on this subject, R.C.
    I posted to you earlier today under the same name.
By R.C. on Saturday, January 24, 1998 - 02:28 pm:
    Thank you Marianne. If I see him again/I will make it a point to speak to him -- loudly -- so that others will notice him. He knew I was watching him. I figured that wd be enough -- but he stayed at that park for 3 hrs. before finally giving up/or moving on to someplace else. It was all so surreal... Like something out of a lucid dream. What I cdn't understand was how come no one else seemed disturbed by him? How come no one else noticed he was there? It was like standing next to something putrid & wondering why no one else noticed the stench. I figured the parents wd constantly be scanning the area/looking around to see who was where. But everyone was so absorbed in having fun... I see now how easy it is for someone to snatch a kid from a public place. And I posted the link in case anyone reading this also lives in Florida. When someone moves into yr neighborhood/ you never know who it might be.


By Paranoia strikes deep on Saturday, January 24, 1998 - 08:07 pm:
    I'm confused. What did this guy do besides hang out in a public park? You said you were hanging out in the park too, for the same duration as him. Why is it okay for you and not him? Maybe HE thought YOU were the pervert, and maybe HE was waiting for YOU to leave.
By R.C. on Tuesday, January 27, 1998 - 03:50 am:
    How many grown men have YOU seen show up alone at a park filled with kids/with a book he wasn't reading/& a bag of Tootsie Roll Pops/& only eat 1 -- in 3 hrs.? Only a stone junkie wd have had a bag of candy that big with him! Or someone planning on sharing with a lot of other people. And he kept looking away every time I met his eyes. I was there taking someone's dog out to play. (I was dogsitting/ actually/that whole week.) All I know is that this guy was Wrong. As Wrong as anything I've ever felt. If someone were looking at me as much as I was looking at him/I'd either leave becuz they were making me nervous/or go ask them what the fuck they wanted. But he did neither -- for 3 hrs. And when he finally left/he got up before me.

    Then again/maybe it was you in the park that day...
By Golden Boy on Tuesday, January 27, 1998 - 12:02 pm:
    Hmm, suspicious looking guy, funny (not really) but everyone looks suspicious in the Windy City........so i stopped looking...
By R.C. on Tuesday, January 27, 1998 - 12:16 pm:
    You're Chicagoan, GB? Why did I think you were a California Boy?
By Golden Boy on Tuesday, January 27, 1998 - 03:44 pm:
    The name Golden Boy, perhaps a little misleading, although i tan quite well, but is not the basis for my name...that in itself is interesting..
    I would have almost figured you for Canadian...(sorry=) but i did...weird..my telepathic powers are failing me....

    Oh I hate california, passionately.
By R.C. on Tuesday, January 27, 1998 - 04:31 pm:
    How can you hate such a physically beautiful & varied place? The people may be a bit hard to take/but Cali. has it all -- beaches/mountains/ even desert!

    And I'm a New Yorker -- currently living in FL. I'd sooner slide down razor blades than live in a place where it's winter 9 mos. out of the year.
By Snow Queen on Tuesday, January 27, 1998 - 05:37 pm:
    So, Golden Boy, what is the basis for your name? You said it was quite interesting. Inquiring minds want to know.
By R.C. on Tuesday, January 27, 1998 - 06:45 pm:
    Uh-oh! This is gonna be good! Let me go get a smoke...
By Golden Boy on Wednesday, January 28, 1998 - 09:10 am:
    the basis for my name huh?? well it all started in some little science class when a was a wee little tot in 7th grade...we were studying some chemistry....hmmm i will stop there...see if you can figure out the rest...
    hints given on demand....

    sorry
By Golden Boy on Wednesday, January 28, 1998 - 09:15 am:
    california did not interest me...i've been there quite a few times thanks to some family i have there but even the scenery didn't get me...I spent quite a part of my life with my dad who lives in Guatemala...so the tropics and the rainforests are what really make me swoon...there is something to be said to not see sky or the horizon when in the forest...
    i luv'd it...and miss it..
By R.C. on Wednesday, January 28, 1998 - 07:05 pm:
    Wait -- 7th gr. science class? How do you get from a bunch of 13-yr-olds with bunser burners & petri dishes to Golden Boy? C'mon now -- Fess Up!
By Golden Boy on Wednesday, January 28, 1998 - 11:52 pm:
    ahhh, but it wasn't the class that came up with it..the teacher did, a drunk little ol irish lady who had a knack for setting her hair on fire consistently every year...she said Golden Boy out loud and it stuck with me since....
    think chemistry my dear..not children..

    stumped yet,,
By R.C. on Thursday, January 29, 1998 - 12:47 am:
    OHMYGAAWWWD! I can think of at least 3 teachers I wd have given ANYTHING to have seen with their hair on fire! Too hysterical!
By Scrunch on Thursday, January 29, 1998 - 06:59 pm:
    Uhhh.... I'm stumped. Not to mention stupid. It would be pretty cool to see our science teacher's hair to catch on fire. We have this really annoying sub right now (we're probably going to have her for a couple of months) and she has this big ass fro. Our normal science teacher's pretty cool though. She tell you almost anything about sex you ask her. So anyway, how did you get your name, Golden Boy?
By Helpline operator on Monday, February 2, 1998 - 02:21 am:
    i want to know more about you golden boy...
By Golden Boy on Monday, February 2, 1998 - 10:56 pm:
    can you save me helpline operator....

    inquire within
By Lovelovelove on Thursday, February 5, 1998 - 01:51 am:
    golden boy--
    i'm the intimate stranger. whisper in my ear...
    admit to me the things you can't admit
    to yourself...
By Slacker on Thursday, February 5, 1998 - 04:03 am:
    uh....this is golden boy not slacker.
    eat my shorts.
By V on Sunday, June 19, 2005 - 07:58 pm:

    ...we have moths in this place or something?...

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