| THIS IS A READ-ONLY ARCHIVE FROM THE SORABJI.COM MESSAGE BOARDS (1995-2016). |
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nevertheless, this kind of caught my interest. there was a show on npr this afternoon about birth order. most of it had to do with relationships - how to chose a mate. for example, if you're a firstborn, it's best to pick a "baby of the family" and vice versa. balance the relationship, apparently. they also said that 90% of the people you meet are wrong for you. there's the problem right there, sem. here is what you birth order is supposed to mean: Firstborns tend to be: perfectionists reliable organized scholarly logical strong leaders seeking of respect and approval Only children tend to be: high achievers self-motivated fearful cautious "little adults" as children Secondborns and middle children tend to be: mediators diplomatic very amicable, having many friends loyal secretive and supressing of feelings The Baby of The Family Youngest children tend to be: charming manipulative attention seeking affectionate tenacious I am a firstborn with one younger sister. i don't perceive myself as being very "firstborn" by that model. sort of a hodgepodge of all of them. how about you? |
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All psychology MUST be crap. |
but i still want to know your friggin' birth order. |
Not all psychology is crap, you jerks. |
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technically, i'm an only child. though i've had plenty of older and younger step siblings come and go throughout my childhood and adult life. |
But I didn't grow up with them. Reliable and Organized are just flat wrong. |
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So much for the psychological paint-by-numbers chart. JERK???? Hey----I resemble that remark! |
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so's "all psychology is crap." firstborns can be so literal. |
And it fits almost perfectly. |
No, listen. Where do you get the idea that psychology is crap? Self-help psychology, maybe. I'm talking "men are from mars.." / "I'm okay, you're okay" kinds of books, talk-show guests, etc., whose theories have no supporting empirical evidence. But clinical psychology = not crap. Cognitive psychology = not crap. Neuropsychology, social psychology, psychopharmacology = not crap. This is how psychology works. Researcher puts a whole bunch of people in a situation or gives them a test, and then the researcher measures their response. The results are the response. However people respond are the results. Is this clear enough for you? If 80% of the sample of first-born children respond in such a way on measures of temperament, then researchers conclude that there is a high correlation between being first-born and displaying certain temperamental traits. If I, a first-born, do not display such traits, it's not cuz psychology is crap; it could be that I fall within the 20% that do not display such traits. Or it could be that the test isn't sensitive enough. Or it could be that the original sample of the study wasn't random. None of these possibilities invalidates the entire field of psychology. So I don't want to hear it anymore unless you've got empirical (you got that? empirical, NOT anecdotal) evidence to support your claim. Otherwise, shut the fuck up. |
i know your sleazing around here, nate. give me your birth order, give it to me good. |
im the baby. and i could add a few items to that list for baby children. |
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I'm a second child,and it fits me to a "T". |
add, subtract, divide - whatever you want, patricus. |
Have a great Thanksgiving everybody. I'm off to Ohio. |
self-motivated - yep kinda fearful - yes sometimes cautious - most of the time "little adults" as children - I am never going to grow up |
I don't feel like a high achiever or much of a self motivator. Unless you concider being motivated to the old boob tube as being self-motivated. Psycology is not crap. Only psycologists. Of the several I've met personally, except for one, they have all been screwier than their patients. The only problems with psycology are: 1. It's more art than science. 2. Human beings are conducting the research/treatment. |
Except my parents practically abandoned us and I was in a boarding school for a lot of my life so that probably stuffs up the entire thing. I know I'm probably more of a bloody endless high-achiever than any baby should be. |
perfectionists- kinda sorta. reliable- guess so. organized- no. scholarly- sure. logical- maybe strong leaders- doubtful. seeking of respect and approval- getting less and less true, at least parent-wise. i began to do a birth chart once... it was pretty neat. sun sign aquarius, moon sign aquarius, ascendant cancer. i don't remember what it's supposed to mean, though. |
I myself am a firstborn of two girls. perfectionist-yeah, I can tend to get pretty anal. reliable-too much so sometimes organized-to a fault scholarly-always logical-like a vulcan then again maybe it would be analytical that better describes me. strong leaders-my best career suit seeking of respect and approval-and always feeling like I am not good enough to get it. Unfortuntaley all of the different aspects of birth order help to explain at least 1/2 of the disfunction in my fun family. My baby sister is definately manipulative, attention seeking and tenacious. She is also a total pervert (does that count for affectionate?). Same goes for my mother, very charming on first impression. Then you get to know her. My girls have both been overacheivers since they were born (otherwise they wouldn't be here today) and haven't slowed down a bit. They have always been like little adults (in different ways). Funny how something can be so true, and make sense out of questions. This helps me to relate to them. |
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I think birth order can have an effect, but other situational factors may be more important. |
And then there's the matter of his second wife bringing into my life two step sisters, both younger than I am, one of whom lived with me and the other stayed to take care of her alcoholic father. I have a baby pic of my half brother who is never talked about, and never seen, and I have never met, and would most likely be told by family that this skeleton ought to stay buried with my father. Come to think about it: I am never talked about, never seen, and my family (in New York) most likely has forgotten about... Haven't seen my little sister I lived with for nine years, and haven't seen her older sister with whom I have never lived...for at least twenty years. I have been the hero, the mascot, the rebel, and the lost child.I'm really an only child, and I am alone right now, and plan to stay that way. "Im Okay You're Okay" is the best thing since Jung. Transactional analysis is really quite helpful. The rest can be crap... |
leader, but yeah, otherwise. The thing to remmeber is that birth order is only one factor out of many that shape who you are and how you react. How you fit in the grade school pecking order probably has as much to do with your personality as birth order, in my opinion. |