Father Son


sorabji.com: What song or tune is going through your head right now?: Father Son
THIS IS A READ-ONLY ARCHIVE FROM THE SORABJI.COM MESSAGE BOARDS (1995-2016).

By Dougie on Wednesday, July 8, 2009 - 02:14 pm:


By Dougie on Wednesday, July 8, 2009 - 02:20 pm:

    And if that don't get the waterworks flowing, there's always this: Gidon Kremer playing "Smile":

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BwsMltCS2fA

    Smile though your heart is aching,
    Smile even though it’s breaking,
    When there are clouds in the sky, you’ll get by
    If you smile through your fear and sorrow,
    Smile and maybe tomorrow,
    You’ll see the sun come shining through for you.


By Dougie on Wednesday, July 8, 2009 - 02:20 pm:

    Sorry, I'll stop now. ;-)


By kazu on Wednesday, July 8, 2009 - 07:19 pm:

    Don't stop Dougie. And don't be sorry.


    Promise you won't stop until you're ready. Even if it's not here, promise you won't stop doing what you need to do.







By platypus really on Thursday, July 9, 2009 - 12:04 am:

    I'm with kazu on this one. While American culture may promote the suppression of grief because it makes people feel uncomfortable, I think that people need to do what they need to do.


By droopy on Thursday, July 9, 2009 - 12:15 am:

    damnfuckingright.

    i can't access any of those links, but i can turn to what has gotten me through quite a bit of misery: nat king cole doing "smile".


By platypus on Thursday, July 9, 2009 - 12:24 am:

    Sarah Vaughan singing "Strange Fruit" has always filled me with a deep sense of comfort.


By droopy on Thursday, July 9, 2009 - 12:40 am:

    i've never actually heard the sarah vaughn version. i more familiar with the billie holiday version.

    to be honest - when i really want to to work through depression with music, i play guitar. particularly songs of misery. the physical act of playing helps. and singing.

    maybe i'll teach myself "smile". it appeals to me that it was written by charlie chaplin.


By platypus on Thursday, July 9, 2009 - 01:00 am:

    Billie Holiday's version is definitely rockin'. I am most certainly not knocking her. But there's something very ephemeral about Vaughan's voice that just does something deep inside.

    Uh, sorry to threadjack, Dougie.


By droopy on Thursday, July 9, 2009 - 01:21 am:

    didn't think you were knocking billie. just saying that i've never hear sarah's version.

    sorry to threadjack, dougie. i thought maybe we could share sad songs. i've just been playing "i'm so lonesome i could cry" on guitar.


By platypus on Thursday, July 9, 2009 - 01:28 am:

    My guitar skills are nonexistent, but I did just listen to "This Ain't Livin'" by G. Love and the Special Sauce, which is a pretty excellent sad song.


By agatha on Thursday, July 9, 2009 - 01:43 am:

    One that always gets me is Nina Simone's version of "Suzanne" by Leonard Cohen. Also, "The Only Living Boy in New York" by Simon & Garfunkel.


By droopy on Thursday, July 9, 2009 - 01:50 am:

    if it weren't for misery and depression, i'd have no guitar skills at all.

    i'm on the verge of getting rid of my antiquated computer and buying one that would allow me to play music like g. love etc.

    was just playing this thing i do. i play the velvet underground's "after hours" (if you close the door i'll never have to see the day again) in c and then segue into "cabaret" (life is a cabaret old chum, come to the cabaret) in g.

    it helps that i came home today with 5 liters of wine. maybe i should play "little ol' wine drinker me".


By agatha on Thursday, July 9, 2009 - 01:50 am:


By patrick on Thursday, July 9, 2009 - 09:59 am:

    christ that VU song takes me a to very particular place.

    its 6:30am, you've been up all night and you feel like a piece of cardboard thats been run over repeatedly and someone says "hey, i've got another bag"


    also reminds me of that scene in boogie nights where juliana moore and heather graham are doing all that blow in the bedrooom and heather says "wanna take a walk?" and julianne says "i cant leave this room". its quite brilliant in the sense that the way its written and they way they deliver, only someone who is very familiar with cocaine could have written that scene.

    thats the place that VU song takes me. Its an awful, edgy, dirty place.


By Dougie on Thursday, July 9, 2009 - 11:35 am:

    Kazu, you're a sweetheart. Sem's a lucky man.

    And I love where this thread's going. Apart from Strange Fruit, I don't know most of the other tunes. I'll have to check them out. Never got into VU for some reason. Will have to give them another go.


By Dougie on Thursday, July 9, 2009 - 11:40 am:

    I listened to The Bends last night. Replayed Fake Plastic Trees about 20 times. I love how he annunciates the word "watering" in the first line, "A green plastic watering can" -- 3 perfectly timed syllables.

    Also listened to the Swans' cover of "Can't find my way back home" about 20 times, and assorted alt-country like Nickel Creek, Jayhawks, and Golden Smog. The latter does the most amazing cover of Bowie's "Starman."


By J on Thursday, July 9, 2009 - 01:28 pm:

    It's old school,but Sad Eyed Lady of the Lowlands by Bob Dylan when Joan Baez sings it sure gets me bawling.


By Danielssss on Thursday, July 9, 2009 - 05:09 pm:

    Hey Dougie, I wrote this long after my daughter died, but was one time reminded of her in a photograph and a snippet of conversation at a B&B on Cape Cod about four or five years ago. Took me a while to find it, but i wanted to share it with you about your recent loss. I know this is not the right thread, oh well. The POV changes throughout so it's a difficult, complex piece, like the unexpected death of an expected son or daughter. hang in there. It's Droop's and Patrick's "awlful dirty edgy space" but all at once beautifully graceful too. That's life.

    A Single Photograph of Thanks
    for the Multi-shaded Floral Patterned Rain
    on Cape Cod This Morning

    Thankful in this cylinder of light, such
    Storm of gratitude you hold me tight
    Standing in the rain
    Just warm and black and white
    All over, you can
    Change me completely, entirely by
    Snippets of half heard words
    in Austrian I think
    And New York City
    Hebrew
    English
    Whispered in my damp ear

    I am too young to go to museums

    During the day the moon rises and the sea empties
    Over such yellow galoshes while sand intrudes and spills
    Chilled orange leaves, like someone’s screen door midway open invites

    I am too young to reach the handle

    Seaweed tracks into my walking shoes and sand between her toes
    The maps to treasure and all-you-can-eat buffets

    And when you ask “what is it that I love to do?”
    I fund a list foolishly become infantile and reflective:
    to trace the shadow of your back in lightning strikes in storms
    Write poetry
    Slide cafeteria tray style downhill on Pawtucket’s dunes
    Wear some big red clown nose and of course,
    Eat pineapple pear gouda garlic pizza
    Or blue moon ice cream like fast licks of the salmon on rapids
    And (more) of course tekka maki sushi and yellow tail shashimi and eel in any form
    To garden and plant and watch and wait
    But ah! (so many, many things you seemed to miss)
    To canoe ever so quietly on a mirror green pond
    In silent scrub pine forest….

    (breaking the silence), you inquire “what are you good at?”

    and laughingly I reply making
    three egg soy protein omelets
    of course
    and backrubs and accupressure and chi gong and forgetfulness
    but writing and teaching come to mind in a more serious meander
    and teaching like communing
    and communing like being
    and being
    like tying your shoes in a thunderstorm,
    smelling the wet wool from your eggplant colored jacket in this slow rain

    I am too young to remember, comes the protest,

    Those early morning staccato trumpets off the distant shore
    red banners in a sky ablaze with sunnystorm sides of furious minds
    fast at breakfast
    we are not long alone, ever,
    (perhaps never, yes?)
    and I want to hold you and turn you in my hand as the fragile flower you are
    and shake the dew from your eye lids

    but you all of a sudden become too young

    while sharing our breakfastspace
    with so many
    awakening a new appreciation
    for what it is
    essential
    to fund my life
    within
    without
    and
    around
    the big tree in the distant shell strewn courtyard

    Just to survey your racing toward puddles
    on the all too porous pavements
    Gives me glee, takes me from this dull reality,
    Evaporates before my very eyes

    But I recall I was brought here
    To help
    people cross over
    into
    the land of the dead
    a psychopomp who buys
    storm spun sand and other unreal estate
    after hurricanes
    To teach crayfish to swim in the darkened eddies of summertime dreams
    Or scribble creole recipes on brown paper bags in parking lots
    (but not for you, not for you, not this time)
    And to be a dad
    To hence to travel travel travel
    (will you go to Scotland with me, and )

    it is one leaf after another
    falls from these trees
    dying in the breeze

    oh my god you are so young and I am so not young
    your mother would say
    but didn’t, does not, won’t intrude
    on this your
    three day holiday

    Neither can you hear
    pianos crashing into the sandy surf
    the shards of tufted velvet water heaving heavy
    a Cape Cod morning of rain and gusty emotions
    it is mist where I am pushed
    to
    some point of honesty, and
    to
    get healthy, again, and
    to
    have integrity

    your young words in English this time I recall
    tripping off your lips into mine
    so I can write cookbooks and be kind to small candles dripping off the mantle,
    and then what
    then what
    then
    what


    So as if to slash aubergine across white canvass:

    Still no less than travel to your birthplace,
    Breathe such bright air as you did for so short a time,
    Enjoy the endless view of eternity from that perpetual hillside,
    And somewhat needlessly, I suppose, at last,
    Tangle my tongue over wordless treasures from such a sea as ours
    Hold engulf set free bury at sunset these memories
    Travel eat breathe enjoy just the same
    Simple monochromes, my sweet remembered daughter,
    All that remain.

    #### October 2005


By Dougie on Friday, July 10, 2009 - 07:49 am:

    Beautiful Daniel. Thank you for sharing this.


By Dougie on Friday, July 10, 2009 - 08:04 am:

    And now, feeling a bit (a lot) self conscious, and not wanting to turn these threads any more maudlin than I've made them this past week, I won't post about this anymore. But by all means, please keep this thread going in terms of music.


By patrick on Friday, July 10, 2009 - 09:45 am:

    so now what.





    dooky and farts?









    nipple clamps and cock rings?











    monster trucks and gun shows?











    porno and horror flics?











    silly puddy vs. play doh?











    pilsner vs. lager?











    tape cleaner vs. whippets?






By Dougie on Friday, July 10, 2009 - 10:40 am:

    Old Genesis vs. New Genesis?

    Tampons vs. Pads?

    Crackberry vs. Iphone?


    No, I want to hear about your progress, patrick, and about your daughter, and kaz and sem's, and sarah's and senor ballz', and J's grandkids, and Antigone's, and droopy's choices of music, and agatha's and dave's, and how platy and heather and danielsss and spider and moonit and nate and mark and all my other friends are doing here.

    Why does the name "Senor Ballz" crack me up so much? And where did that come from? I think Antigone launched it?

    Danielsss, where does the "sss" come from?

    Mark, you were going to tell me the significance of ... one day.

    Agatha, why doesn't dave. post anymore?

    Spider, you still liking Spider? I liked Rhiannon. Why did you change?

    Platy, you still liking Platypus? I liked Isolde. Why did you change?

    Kazu, how did you come by your name?

    Sem, how did you come by your name?

    J, you still crack me up. You're a sweetheart.

    Moonit, how did you come by your name?

    Nate, where are you?


By patrick on Friday, July 10, 2009 - 12:22 pm:

    nate's around. we talk once a week or so.

    i hired nate to do a cover shoot for our magazine. he nailed it.

    it comes out in few weeks. i'll share when it goes live.


By droopy on Friday, July 10, 2009 - 01:41 pm:

    if i had to choose from patrick's list, it would be porno and horror flicks. will be watching "killers from space" saturday night (directed by billy wilder's brother!). i love classic horror. don't get to see much porn anymore, but i do still own a video tape of the classic "the opening of misty beethoven".

    i've been working out an arrangement of "the lady is a tramp" on guitar, lately. i put a little tom waits into it.

    i could've talked about gun shows, but the fort worth gun show was in june. catch me next year.

    only antigone would know what i'm talking about: am listening to "anything you ever wanted to know" on the radio. i miss glenn mitchell.


By Dougie on Friday, July 10, 2009 - 02:59 pm:

    Tell Nate we said hi, patrick.

    Billy Wilder's brother? Did he do mostly horror and B movie stuff droop?

    Check this out, heard in on Soundcheck. Hasidic reggae. Beautiful song:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z50Yf7hFnhA


By agatha on Friday, July 10, 2009 - 03:01 pm:

    I don't know why Dave won't post anymore. He seems to have made a decision to drop out of society altogether. Frustrating.


By agatha on Friday, July 10, 2009 - 03:02 pm:

    And Dougie, no need to change the subject unless you really want to. There's no timeline to this stuff- you feel what you feel until it starts to get better.


By Dougie on Friday, July 10, 2009 - 03:30 pm:

    Well, say hi to him for us if you would. And thanks Agatha.


By droopy on Friday, July 10, 2009 - 03:32 pm:

    aside for a series of musical shorts in the forties (american folk, etc.), willie appears to have been a schlockmeister. his son myles wrote the screenplay for "killers from space" - at least you get to see a 20 year old peter graves in it. willie is billy's older brother. he made women's handbags back in the old country.


By semillama on Friday, July 10, 2009 - 06:28 pm:

    My screen name dates back to when I joined The Church of the Subgenius and i needed a weird Church name. I picked "semillama" for two reasons: It means "sort of but not quite a llama" and it also somewhat resembles my real last name. I've been using it as my online identity since about 1993 I guess.


By kazu on Friday, July 10, 2009 - 10:44 pm:

    kazu is short for kazoointoit, which was the name on my salon.com personals profile.


By J on Saturday, July 11, 2009 - 02:19 am:

    "And J's grandkids" well thank you Dougie cause my grandkids are what I live for.I'll tell you the ugly first.Orion came to stay with me for 2 weeks and the first week was wonderful,then his half brother Jonathan wanted to come here to see his brother and now I have two holes in my wall,missing buttons from 2 of my 3 remotes,and one of those feckers got a utility blade from my garage and slashed my leather love seat.To say I'm pissed off would be an understatement.Orion is 8 and Jonathan is 15,kind of a stretch.
    Then the good,the three youngest ones are Kaylie 4,Jania 2 1/2,and Carson 2 and they are the light of my life.It's wierd I can see myself in Kaylie,she's tall for her age,and very skinny and God help me for saying this she will always be my favorite,she's my first grandaughter and she's a tuff gurl.Jania,my second grandaughter,she looks like me except she has beautiful ringlets,I call her Janny and she's a real ham.Carson just turned 2 May 2009 and he's my baby,he has one really cute dimple and the sweetest smile I ever saw and he's a talker.I have the cutest film of him walking around naked in his sister's dress up shoes,but the way the world is today I can't post it.


By ... on Saturday, July 11, 2009 - 02:41 am:

    I already told you, ... is invisible to the search thingie ... hah almost said thongie


By Danielssss on Saturday, July 11, 2009 - 10:38 pm:

    thingie...yep...thongee...like theology between the tufts of the mounds of plenty...

    sss is really ssss to be accurate. last name (really) is Smith. Other ss's came as a result of holding the key down, or as a way to distinguish so long ago from Dannie or Danielle from FL since both of us were writing about Florida and the chef -- what was his name -- I don't think it was Swine -- got us confused. Plus, I was never fully accepted by the Sorabjite community of elders and wisew0-men nor knighted by Sir Mark. Though he did give me a grail box once.

    How I'm doing: coping with and getting by and if you would have asked me if I were to be dOINg what I am doing right now, I would say I would never have been this popular a teacher. I am blessed twith that, with a new loving wife, and with two wonderful sons, one a chesse monger in San Fran and the other here in StL. And I got married a couple weeks ago, another thing i doubt would have happened. My life is good, very good, though the "illness" is creeping in and today for example i spent the entire wonderful sunny day in bed hardly able to move. But I don't talk about that. it is what it is. it is my fault, years of damage of booze and drugs catching up with me after 22 years sober now. The woman I married is a cancer survivor, and she understands what and how it feels to each day lose a little more. get a little more less. try as one might, to become older and literally less strong. being strong has always always been an issue with me. My saggy baggy earth suit is betraying me. A set of steps does me in. I want to bicycle, walk, life weighs, and cannot.

    Going to the office and sitting, listening to people for twelve hours a day four days a week and then getting on a plane and teaching a day long seminar...that is what my life consists of. I do miss Czarina, the only sorabjite I ever met in person. Though she chain smoked, I felt the in between moments to be only the best. And miss her mightily. Whoever knows her, say hi for me.

    And Droop, I have a cassette tape of an older couple recording their version of "Tramp" which is outstanding...from a friend of mine called Andrea, whose grandparents recorded it in the 30's. It is a scratchy version and one that in my opinion has never been bested. If there were a way to record it upload it, someone let me know.

    Shit i never talk about my getting sick; I am sorry to have mentioned it. I loved the salsa Sarah sent me: had it tonight on black beans and rice.


By Danielssss on Saturday, July 11, 2009 - 10:58 pm:

    And heather, you are that seaside post, regardless. remember talking about winterson? nine years ago...


By Spider on Sunday, July 12, 2009 - 02:58 pm:

    Dougie, consider yourself hugged.


    Spider is closer to the truth.




    (I'm small and poisonous hairy poisonous.)


By Danielssss on Sunday, July 12, 2009 - 04:21 pm:

    whiipetssss


By droopy on Sunday, July 12, 2009 - 04:43 pm:

    i seem to remember that the name "spider" came from the the fact that she had long, slender fingers - like spider's legs. i think it was her sister's nickname for her.

    tickle tickle.

    i think moonit was moonunit (like zappa?) originally, and then it got shortened.

    daniel writes his name in parseltongue.

    i liked isolde, too. i once started writing a song inspired by something platypus said, but i never could get it to come out right.


By platypus on Sunday, July 12, 2009 - 05:20 pm:

    As with spider, my new name suits me far better than my old one, since I have poisonous spurs. And I like monotremes more than Arthurian adulteresses doomed to tragic romance by love potions.

    And droopy, gack! When did I say something songworthy?


By Daniel-s-s-s-s on Sunday, July 12, 2009 - 05:37 pm:

    But I am a light wizard not a dark wizard, Droop. And I am not really a wizard either, for sure. Tis the sound of the gentle breeze blowing into one ear and out the other, sssssssssssssssssssssssssss

    I can speak with trees and elementals, some mammals, notably dogs, and the cat appears to understand me. Some dragons and faerie folk, too, but lizards and snakes avoid me as if they had unexpected urgent business elsewhere.

    I like that parseltongue is also some sort of a Linux language of which I know nothing. I should think it is the language of more intelligent parsnips.


By Daniels-s-s-s-s on Sunday, July 12, 2009 - 05:37 pm:

    And i do not like IE8 at all.


By droopy on Sunday, July 12, 2009 - 05:55 pm:

    it was something you said on wayd about how you found out your grocery store delivers and "there's no reason to leave the house, except a parade". i liked that line. the song was about a recluse (as i tend to be). the only verse i remember is:

    then one day you step out, put on your coat
    catch a city bus just as big as a float
    in a parade of people who march through the day
    weary or hopeful, youthful or gray
    and you sit by a fat man and try not to stare
    as you imagine the guy-wires while he floats
    through the air
    'cause there's really no reason to leave the house anymore
    except a parade


    like i said, never could get it quite right.


By Spider on Sunday, July 12, 2009 - 07:15 pm:

    Ah, that must have been written during my What Is This Thing Called Internet? phase. I don't have a sister.


    If I had to change my name, I'd probably pick a chemical element or a man's name, like Bill. I met a dog named Bill the other day and I can't stop laughing about that.

    Bill the Dog.


    My 11th grade history teacher had a cat named Carl. That's made me laugh for years.


By sarah on Sunday, July 12, 2009 - 09:55 pm:


    what is this illness?

    please please confess.







By droopy on Sunday, July 12, 2009 - 11:54 pm:

    i actually heard a daniel johnston song on the radio this evening. "my yoke is heavy". i never thought i'd see the day, not in fort worth.


By moonit on Monday, July 13, 2009 - 01:18 am:

    Yeah I was orginally a moonunit - I was drunk at a party and some guy called me and my best buddy Jules a pair of moonunits. So when we played on the innerweb I became moon~unit and she was JulesJupiter. Then gee called me moonit and I like because its faster to type :) plus usually a nickname = acceptance so I went with it.

    Swine flu is rampant in my city. Well maybe not rampant, but because its winter they reckon that we're all bound to get it. Apparently its only killing either fat people, or fat people with breathing issues. As a fat person, who is working on not being so fat its really hard to comprehend - i'm trying to get fitter in a hurry so when I do get it hopefully I won't be so affected. Getting fitter is harder as the ground freezes up - I'm can run for 25 minutes now - its slow and I think the Dee dog pulls me and the Reese dog along for most of it, but at least i'm trying to do something.

    I had to leave my personal trainer - the recession has really hit advertising hard - especially the field I'm in. I'm still working, but not making as much money which is stressful.

    hmm that went off in a weird tangent. I need to win lotto - anyone got the numbers?


By Dr Pepper on Monday, July 13, 2009 - 01:39 am:

    moonit, 3 is my common number :-)


By patrick on Monday, July 13, 2009 - 10:04 am:

    holy shit droop. Opening of Misty Beethoven. We own that. Its the only dirty flic the mrs and I have owned together. She actually bought it online after we saw it somewhere....I can't remember where.

    Thats a great classic porn flic.


By Dan-i-e-l-ssss on Monday, July 13, 2009 - 11:04 am:

    whippets and porn, and chocolate. Maybe chocolate hot sauce. I liked the chipotle folks...yesterday ate a lot of sour cream, any coincidence?


By droopy on Monday, July 13, 2009 - 12:00 pm:

    sour cream enhances the taste of a lot of mexican food. especially where beans are involved. i've never been fond of chipotle.

    i got my copy of "misty" back in the early nineties from some arthouse porn movie & books catalog. i also still have the copy of dr. caligari i bought from them. i never could procure a copy of "cafe flesh".


By patrick on Monday, July 13, 2009 - 01:18 pm:

    i have a great array of belizian hot sauces. all habanero and vinegar based though one is citrus inspired with grapefruit.


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