| THIS IS A READ-ONLY ARCHIVE FROM THE SORABJI.COM MESSAGE BOARDS (1995-2016). |
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| By Skunkjuice Lefkowitz on Sunday, April 19, 1998 - 08:58 am: |
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| By Kelsey on Tuesday, April 21, 1998 - 02:50 am: |
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| By Black Knight on Tuesday, April 21, 1998 - 07:47 am: |
Yes. No. I desire all of my female friends in the same proportion that I like them as people. So what? One of my very closest friends is an ex-girlfriend. Rationally, you could not PAY me to have sex with her again, but I still lust after her. And I lust after all the other women I am close to. Doesn't mean I leer or grope. I like them, and I want to express it fully. And yes, I have a fair number of female friends, all but one of which I have never had sex with, and with one exception, I probably never will (one other I might get involved with, on some level, when her life stabilises (going through too many transitions right now)). So, is this a problem? I don't think so, I know what the bounds of the relationships are, and I don't push them, or in many cases even desire too. |
| By PetRock on Tuesday, April 21, 1998 - 01:53 pm: |
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| By Black Knight on Tuesday, April 21, 1998 - 11:49 pm: |
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| By Antigone but only metaphorically on Thursday, May 28, 1998 - 04:22 pm: |
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| By Perplexed on Monday, June 29, 1998 - 05:01 pm: |
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| By Matt on Monday, June 29, 1998 - 05:32 pm: |
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| By Whet on Tuesday, June 30, 1998 - 10:13 pm: |
Men are VISUALLY stimulated in many cases, and if a woman friend comes by one day with her tits hanging out of COURSE for a moment he is gonna think sexually. And if he's honest enough to admit it, usually gets smacked right in the face too, if not right then after the fact when they've had time to be insulted thinking about it. The point that no one seems to realize or recognize is men and women are DIFFERENT. Ok example time. A guy sees a woman that under normal circumstances would think is unattractive or not his type or whatever. In the right circumstances, a really good flash of tit or ass, or SAYING something to him seductive, pushing his buttons, being sensual or whatever, will make the man think of her sexually, for at least a minute or two. Thats just how men are put to gether. On the other hand, if a woman sees a male friend in a sexual state or catches a glimpse of him pissing or something thinks of it as either funny or gross. See the difference? Now before anyone beats me up on this, THINK ok? I'm talking mabe a 80% accuracy thing, and if anyone is terribly offended by this THINK about OTHER people, like the kind tha make up most of the world. Look at advertising, the science of appealing to people to get their money. WHAT do they use on MEN, then what do they use on WOMEN???? EH EH EH?? am I getting through here? Its done cause it WORKS. it makes MONEY. Sure its taking advantage of some gut level instinct, but thats exactly my point - its INSTINCT. SO PLEASE don't get too pissed at a male friend if from time to time he accidentally has sexual thoughts about you. Take it as a compliment and move on. BTW for the record, I have NEVER had sex with a woman friend. I am a VERY physical person, I hug a LOT. I LIKE women friends. Women are wonderful. Right now women are the best friends I have EVER had in my entire LIFE. I can't talk about how wonderful or it will make me teary. The ones I respect the most, are the real friends, that when my instinct does show its ugly self every now and then, just smile or give me a gentle reminder and its over with, and we get on with our lives or we joke about it have fun and still are great friends. Let a man be a man, and if he makes a mistake then talk it out. Thats very important. I don't think its an INSULT at ALL DAMMIT. If a woman friend is for an instant or however long sexually attracted to me, I think its wonderful. It DON"T mean we're gonna fuck or anything at all. Its just whatever comes naturally. I don't know. Its just the thought of someone that cares about me also wanting me. It doesn't matter if we NEVER do anything about it, I'm totally comfortable with it being there. Its just a compliment. I hope no one is implying they can NOT have friends if there is sexual attraction. Is it even sexual or just love from the friendship getting mingled and confused anyway? Its shades of mush. And another thing. Its NOT all just instinct and impulse. Its also love and caring and feelings. Sometimes you really really love someone and might think about taking that love and expression to a different level. Hopefully thats part of people falling in love then getting married all that stuff. So to pretend it doesn't happen I think is bullshit. Otherwise thats admitting you fucked them first then became friends later, or became friends and never fucked, and to say that you only fuck people that aren't you friends is pretty sad. I'm not saying go cross the line right now, but THINK about all the people you have been in relationships with before in life, and how did it happen? To me, there is no better dream than having a friend, getting closer and closer and closer to them, ultimately falling in love with them, and making it sexual. Hopefully thats what happens in marriage. Its such a beautiful, wonderful, awsome thing, to be totally dedicated and open and vunderable all at the same time. And to have no boundaries in pleasing your partner with the trust that comes in such a relationship. Sometimes it does sometimes it doesn't. I hope to have that some day. |
| By -oDDBALL oDD- on Tuesday, July 14, 1998 - 01:25 pm: |
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| By Carrie Ann on Wednesday, July 15, 1998 - 05:30 am: |
Oddball: You go boy. ;) Dunno if I woulda put it exactly in those worrrrrrds, but hehe. Right on. |
| By Whet on Wednesday, July 15, 1998 - 10:42 pm: |
I like friends. Let me tell you how I feel about my best friend. I think she is the most beautiful and sensuous creature to ever grace the sand of this earth with her footprint - but I doubt we will *ever* have sex or even come close. Though I'm physically attracted to her, I wouldn't because I love and respect her and her partner. Sure, sex with her would be the most earth shattering incredible experience of my entire life - but even in my dreams all I do is hold or kiss her. And those are the most wonderful dreams in the world. I wish I could have one tonight. :) |
| By Carrie Ann on Thursday, July 16, 1998 - 09:29 pm: |
Hehe, I'm just not liking this humidity AT ALL. Heat.. Sun... I can take. But when it gets muggy, humid, sticky.. just no fun. |
| By Whet on Friday, July 17, 1998 - 09:22 pm: |
Come on down, I'll crank up the ac just for you dear :) |
| By Carrie Ann on Saturday, July 18, 1998 - 02:13 am: |
*Collapses on the futon * Whew... I am done packing and will be in my new house tomorrow.. Can I get an AMEN?! Heh. AMEN AMEN and AAAAAAAAAMEN. Then I have a rave to go to tomorrow afternoon ("Sexydelic" -free, outside rave, clothing optional, body paint & mud provided.. w00ha!), Garth Brooks <Trisha Yearwood> concert after that, then on Sunday the Bite Of Seattle & a get together with some friends. Pretty full weekend. |
| By DARRIN on Saturday, July 18, 1998 - 02:58 am: |
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WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO BE FRIENDS WITH ANY WOMAN? Save yourself the trouble just hand over your wallet and let them get on with it. |
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The same inane question posted three times in Sorabji Land. |