| THIS IS A READ-ONLY ARCHIVE FROM THE SORABJI.COM MESSAGE BOARDS (1995-2016). |
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| By Willy on Tuesday, July 28, 1998 - 02:30 am: |
Of course ... maybe ... ha! Lets see ... Well for those that can follow all the rules, there is a chance that you can actually be true friends. You just have to make sure that you follow these extremely simple rules: 1. All councelling and advice you give, especially about relationships, is in the best interest of your friend, and not yourself. Don't ever steer things your way! 2. You must avoid/not seek out provocative situations and romantic settings ... *unless* ... 3. you are so in control that you can both just instantly laugh any accidental close encounters away (eg. falling onto eachother or whatever) without coming back to linger about it in your mind. [almost everyone except the mutants fail here!] 4. You do nothing when you are alone, that you wouldn't do in front of eachothers, boyfriend or girlfriend ... present or future. Its simple ... did you do any single questionable thing that would make a partner upset? This *also* includes subtle things such as behaviour, voice, intonation, or demeanor! The should not change in front of the partner of your friend. It should also be no different than that with friends of the unprefered sex. 5. You must treat your friend's partner no differently from any of your friend's friends. If you harbour possessive feelings, this is where it will show. 6. Your feelings must not change towards that person when they get a partner. 7. You should encourage your friend to get involved with others when you see a good match for them ( ... don't break rule number one by getting menage a trois in your mind) 8. You cannot get any upper hand over your partner because you have a same sex friend. That don't mean that you are involved with your friend ... it just means that you are using your friend ... that doesn't make you a good friend. 9. When you breakup with your partner, you must not become involved with your friend. If you do, perhaps you were just holding them in neutral limbo for selfish reasons ... (like holding meat in a fridge) ... *unless* ... 10. After you break-up, you realize something new about your friend that you hadn't noticed before, or something else (like a deep personal insight, or a message from God) makes you suddenly realize that you like them more than just a friend. If you pass all these superhuman basic criteria, then you are one quarter of the way there ... you must make sure that your potential friend is equally platonic ... then you need to deal with your partners ... your friend and you may not be involved with other partners now, but some day you will ... perhaps some day even married to others ... then what? If you want to be longterm friends, you can't go and break rule number 3 ... Rule three is even harder if you are not involved with anyone currently ... Alas ... perhaps prefered sex friendships are not possible for everyone ... but I think lots of people pretent ... or worse ... fool themselves Just my silly thoughts, Willy Please feel free to add or subtract or expand any of these rules |