of course they can . . .

sorabji.com: Can men and women just be friends?: of course they can . . .
By Joel Cairo on Sunday, August 2, 1998 - 12:38 pm:
    This is one of those questions that straight guys wonder about in their high testosterone years. In truth, it is perfectly possible for men and women to "just" be friends, and they frequently are in and under all sorts of circumstances. eg:

    --as working colleagues in the office
    --as part of a heterosexual couple in friendship with another heterosexual couple
    --straight women sometimes strike up friendships with gay men
    --gay men and women sometimes strike up friendships with each other
    --ex-lovers frequently remain friends and keep in contact
    --and, of couse, there are always single, unattached women and men who recognize that they are not romantically or sexually compatible but have something in common and want to be friendly

    Many other patterns can be identified. The question has a certain myopia that I find both curious and charming.


By D.M.R. on Sunday, August 2, 1998 - 09:00 pm:
    Being one of those guy kinda girls( Yea I watch sports, drink beer, laugh at gross jokes and no I don't play games, nor am I a lesbian) I feel that one can have purely platonic friends sometimes, but at one point or another the line is crossed. The friendship rarely survives. When the friendship does make it, it is uncomfortable for quite some time. I can only assume that the reason that people of any gender are friends in the first place is that on some level we are attracted to one another, be it personality or looks. Perhaps it is that attraction and friendship that we are all looking for in a mate and what better place to find it than in a dear companion.
    I must also add that since all of my friend to boyfriend transitions have failed to my dismay, who the hell am I to even attempt to explain this?
By -oDDBALL oDD- on Tuesday, August 4, 1998 - 06:41 am:
    Thank you D.M.R.

    I also beleive that men and women can be platonic friends, but that the male sex drive ESPECIALLY (as well as the women's) gets in the way.

    Men are designed to want to nail everything. That is neither a good thing or a bad thing...it just is. If they wanna be friends and if the man has some self control and if the woman has some sense...then they have a shot at friendship. Otherwise, they will fuck.

    And what's wrong with that?