I have a best friend. A practical soul mate named Brandt. I love him to death but would *never* sleep with him. It just isn't that way. We talk about sex, have watched porn together, and can be really perverted. In fact, i am free to bring up all my perversion and fantasies around him and know I won't be judged. But neither of us feels the need to mate with the other. :) He is in a relationship with a great girl and even if he wasn't. Well, ewwwwww! I just wouldn't. :)

sounds like your biggest fantasy is finding ways not to have sex with guys you know. my biggest fantasy is fucking chicks like you in the ass. of course, you're probably a guy. hairy. late 40's. recently dyed his head a funny red orange. smokes marlboro reds. likes his coffee luke-warm in a styrofoam cup. beats off to boys life and the underwear sections of catalogs. makes crank calls to payphones near jr highs. i could go on but, well, you know who you are.

she's likes girls but hasn't figured it out yet

thats what came to my mind

i don't think she's coming back.

Foul play, or lack of interest?

head nail hit

Which: Lesbian, guy posting as girl, dead, lack of interest?

speaking of head, it's been a long time since i've gotten any. i think i'm going to go to a stoner party tonight. some psytrance dj i've met once is having a party. happy 4/20. i think i'll capture a woman and bring her home. mm.

lesbian love sandwich

I wouldn't touch this topic with a ten foot pole. Or, anything else. To dangerous.

To dangerous. That's a verb right? The guys on Jackass outdid themselves and really dangeroused today. Note to self, must use that verb more often.

Remember when Trace would post to tell us he wasn't posting on a thread? Those were the good old days.

I am not even going to post to comment on that...

Oh Cat. I know you long for Trace. The only thing I can offer you are these words... and a JUMBO COKE

I miss Trace,he was a proud father and not afraid to speak his mind,he had his own ideas and had the balls to say them,I kind of miss him,he'll be back,he's just out of town on business.

There were good old days here?

Yeah, back when swine was deflating egos left and right, paranoids were stalking each other, and women were following me around cooing at me. Plus, daily duck updates from Sheila. not that it's too bad now, but the danger is not as intense.

sem, you still have nate. this place isn't safe yet.

buwahahahahah. and i still have a picture of sem's cock. BUWAHAHAHAH. and your bare ass, kalli!!! king of the naked sorabjiites!!

point proved you see....

nate....i've got more naked pictures, of more people, than you can shake a stick at, sorabjites or not. stop looking at me. kalli has a great ass

hey, me too. i just don't know most of them.

i miss sheila. and rc. and daniela, but i still talk to her.

I miss margret.

aww.

You lurker. Would someone please give R. C. a functioning computer? Thank you.

ummm i miss margret

I know you all missed me, since I haven't posted anything in the last 5 & 1/2 hours. Probably saying to yourselves, "Jeez, Dougie hasn't posted in the last 5 & 1/2 hours. I hope he's alright, and he hasn't had a horrible, catastrophic accident at work." Well, set your minds at ease kids. No such thing happened. Although I did have an interminably long and unproductive meeting offsite.

Truly. I miss how you would come in and destroy us with your knowledge of legalities, Margret. How's married life treating ya?

you guys missed me too and you know it. i bet nate has a hairy ass. he won't send me a picture of it no matter how many pictures of my mom's behind i send him.

it's less hairy than sem's.

That's because of my northern tibetan heritage.

margret goes without saying.

(clap clap.)

Yeah, so, I am at work right now. I have become quite the little workaholic. We are re-extracting 9 replicating sites after an upgrade and some custom tab design. Have to stop replication for an update because it makes structural changes to the .db such that data synchronization is no longer possible, ditto custom tab creation. Married life is exactly the same as it was pre-married, except I seem to be developing a nest of zits (the painful and pus-y kind that OTHER people get) on my chin. I am going to be in Stevenson, WA, on September 1st for a wedding. I should really slack off more and surf the web. It's very sweet to be missed. This zit thing has me really down. Also, right now I have a very sad robbie benson thing going on with my hair. I am taking nominations for where Cameron and I should relocate to next year...also, job offers.

ARE YOU GOING TO VISIT US?

i might, if you're unlucky. i'm on two weeks leave.

i might, if you're unlucky. i'm on two weeks leave.

Is Stevenson close to Olympia? Because, you know, that would be super swell. If it wouldn't be creepy for you, that is.

of course it would be creepy. so what? we could be in stevenson in an hour and a half.

it would only be creepy if you were someone else. nate, i would love a visit from you, too, but don't be surprised if you are in the middle of some blather about women having all the power and i tell you to shut the fuck up. mwah.

and if i shut the fuck up, we'll know who's right... ? i'd actually hope that you'd cold-cock me with a fistfull of rings. i'm looking to be put in my place at the moment. my god given quest.

i could probably help you with that, although i have yet to be successful in getting dave put in his place.

come to Columbus. God knows I could use some friends outside of the office. I was forgotten to be invited (is that grammatically correct?) to a dinner Friday. I didn't know about it til yesterday, when I went to the used cd place where the guy's wife works and she demanded to know why I wasn't there. I like his wife, she's a cool person. Everyone I work with is either married or lives the fuck out of town, so my weekends are spent by myself for the most part. Luckily there are good movie theatres here.

i was born in columbus. 10:43AM- friday, march 11th, 1971. riverside hospital. doctor said, "ma'am, i'm not sure what's comin', but it sure as hell looks like a football player!" my mom loves to tell that story. how is that place, anyway? i left when i was 5 months old and never went back. if you get too lonely, i know this girl named tana who lives a few miles outside of town. tana was the very first person i ever "spoke" to over the internet. i was drunk, she was crazy, and we both had whatever defect it is that makes you wanna divulge things to total strangers that you probably wouldn't tell your closest confidant. that girl ended up cyber-stalking me for four years, across three states, and to five different phone numbers. she used to call, screaming in the middle of the night. all hopped up on vodka and whatever ill chemistry going on in her head, she'd rant and rave about us being "soul mates" until i'd hang up the phone and get back to whatever i was trying to accomplish at 2 or 3 or 4 in the morning. then she'd call again to get bitter with the voicemail. she was great. that girl could spit 5 minute streams of heartfelt love professions and random insane diatribes filled with home made racial epithets-- all without taking a breath. FIVE MINUTES. i bet pavarotti couldn't do that shit. i could give you her e-mail address if you're interested. you guys could hook up. might not be healthy, but it sure won't be boring.

Just think about the babies you could make...cute half-crazed llamas that would stalk you down and dig a trench to your house.

and as a token of love she could shave her name in the fur of your cat. theres a nice gesture.

Damn, I'm originally from Columbus too. "The Heart of it All" as Ohio's license plates say.

Now they read "Kiss My Ass." Columbus is pretty mellow. ALthough the favorite hobby of the OSU student body appears to be participating in beer riots. I am tempted by your offer swine. However, I feel I must pass, as she probably isn't over you yet, and would attempt some ploy to get to you through me. Not that it could work, but you know.

swine that is an excellent story. thanks! my monday sucks. allergy pills suck as bad as allergies suck. fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. the buzz for which over the counter drugs provide, taken in the prescibed dose, sucks. limp dick high...

I'll meet you in stevenson, margret. wherever that is. I take back my question in another thread about swine's birthday.